The Gift of Redemption
by KNeu21
Summary: Being turned so young comes with its own set of complications, but when it's all up to Leandra to save her family, how far will she have to go? Can she find herself in time, or will she be lost forever? Rated 'M' for safety reasons!
1. Chapter 1

**Oh boy, guys. Here I am again lol once again with the opening notes.  
A few things I feel that I need to mention.  
1) The chapters of this story will probably not be that long. At least until I can build them back up.  
2) I'm nursing a painful bout of writer's block, but I'm really hoping that getting out what I can when I can will help me really get going. Please bear with me on this. The only real time I have to type is an hour during the day, and 3-4 hours during the night; Time which I have to share with every other thing I can't do during the day because my toddler is hell-bent on giving me a heart attack or gray hair before I'm 30. Like honestly, he knows his mother is one head-thump away from an anxiety attack- Okay. We get it.  
3) As with my previous stories, I will be rating this story 'M' to be on the safe side. My characters are rather violent toward each other, and it's just better to be safe. I'm not even just talking about Jack. Any particularly iffy chapters will have an 'ImPORTANT NOTE' at the top, giving you fair heads up, but I won't go overboard. As much as I want to sometimes (ha), my pre-reader/beta/friend refuses to let me and I have to reign them in. ;)  
Okay, I think that covers all that.  
DiSCLAIMER!  
Nothing pertaining to the work of SM is owned by me. Yada yada yada. You know by now. I've done this way too many times lol  
And as always, please feel free (by 'feel free', I really mean I'm begging at this point) to leave a review! I love reading what you think!  
Let's just get on with the good stuff. :)  
**

 **Chapter One**

"Look." I said, "All I'm saying.. Is it really sucks remembering a song that doesn't exist yet. Like.. I'd love to listen to it again, but it's not even thought of yet. I could probably make a lot of money, you know."

"Big into music?" Emmett asked, laughing a little.

"Uh.." I replied, "Duh. It's how I lived last time. I mean, don't get me wrong, most of the music that came out was crap, but there were some good ones. I had almost two-thousand songs just on my cell phone." He looked over at me, "Yeah. I listened to all of them, and I still had more on my laptop."

"Your cell phone?" He asked, and I laughed. I realized what he was getting at. "With your phone?" I was much more aware of what was coming out in the future than I was sure he realized.

"With my phone." I nodded, "I miss it, but I guess I just gotta wait for them to come out with the phone I used to have." I sighed, "And I guess that means I just gotta start collecting again."

"These conversations just get weirder and weirder." He laughed.

"Trust me." I replied, "Just you wait. A lot of cool stuff is gonna come out soon."

"I believe you." He chuckled as we stopped. Our usual meeting spot just outside Tacoma, "I just didn't think you'd want to think about that time."

"All the memories I have.." I replied, "They're not all bad. So much stuff happened, and yeah, some of it was bad, but.. A lot of it was good too. Sometimes it makes me sad, but most of the time, I like thinking about it. I guess it comforts me, because when I really think about it.. How many people would kill for a chance to go back? Yeah, it sucked for me, but nobody else has ever really had that chance."

"Well, I guess it's okay if you're not stuck in there with all that bad stuff." He was always looking out for me.

"Nah." I shook my head before I decided to change the subject. "Have you talked to Jasper yet?" I couldn't help asking. Of course, I was referring to the precarious situation involving the effect Jack's ability had tossed us in.

Jasper was still just as disapproving of me as he was months before, which nothing I'd done yet could fix, and Rosalie.. If anything, she hated me more because Emmett whole-heartedly agreed with having me around. She knew both Carlisle and Esme were on my side as well, along with Alice, but having the family divided like that wasn't an easy thing to deal with. All I could do was keep trying. Keep hoping Jack would come back, just so I could.. I really wasn't sure what the next step was.

"No." He replied honestly, unapologetically, and I sighed.

"The longer you put it off, the harder it's gonna be."

"I just don't see why I have to." He countered.

"Because you guys are family." I replied firmly, "All of this?" I gestured around me, "Would be a lot easier if you guys were in on it too. Just because you don't get along, I don't have much help."

"We're looking just as hard as you are, shorty." He pointed out, "I think it's better we don't work together. We cover more area that way. And hell. You would have more help if those other shorties weren't such scaredy-cats."

"Leandra." Right on time, Shannon greeted us with a smile. The salty Tacoma night breeze around us pulling her dark hair behind her. The city lights in the distance playing in her hair just as much as the wind.

"Oh come on." I whined, emphasizing Emmett's point, "It's just Emmett this time. Can't Gage and Brett meet me here themselves yet?"

"Sorry." She laughed, "You know the rules." I looked down at Reese beside her, smiling. As soon as I smiled at her, she came forward and hugged me.

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered, looking over at Emmett, "I guess I get it, though. You're huge."

Emmett had been the one assigned to escort me to Tacoma. He had to just get me here and drop me off so Gage, Brett and I could go out on our own to look for any suspicious scents. Everyone else in my family looked as well, but since Brett and Gage were the only two kids crazy enough to help me out with this, we were the fastest. They wouldn't work with my family, though. So it had to be just me.

We'd stay gone for maybe a night before we returned to this specific area in the city where Reese and Shannon would lead us back to wherever we were going next- Either their warehouse, or taking me home to Forks.

But on nights like tonight, when my escort would linger too long, they would send Shannon to collect me and take me to them. They weren't quite ready yet to trust my family, despite wanting to help me.

I couldn't help wondering, though, if there was a reason behind their continued distrust. Did they see something I didn't see? That had weighed on me for awhile.

Reese's hug was brief, as she wanted to greet Emmett as well. It took a few visits, but she'd taken quite a liking to him too, which he didn't mind in the slightest way. I watched as he picked her up.

"What about you?" Emmett asked her and she smiled shyly, "I bet you could sneak me passed Gage and Brett." Her smile staying plastered on her face, she shook her head. She knew the rules too, but of course, Emmett was only joking.

It was interesting to see how Emmett's behavior changed when Reese was around. I always knew he had a big heart, but it really showed when she showed up. I somehow sensed he was more protective of her than he even was of me. Oddly, I didn't mind that. I could easily understand where he was coming from, because I was just as protective of her.

It was probably Reese's almost-white blonde hair that appealed to his soft spot.

I looked over at Shannon, though, "Thank you for letting them help me."

"No problem." She replied easily, "We said we'd help, didn't we? Besides. We need to be just as careful anyway, so the way I see it, you're helping us just as much."

"It's kinda nice having friends, huh?" I asked, laughing a little.

"Definitely." She agreed, "The others will come around, I think. It's just taking them a little while. Amanda's a little mad at me, but she'll be okay."

"I've noticed." I winced a little, "Man, she's scary when she's mad."

"I know what you mean." She nodded with another laugh, "She'll be fine." I would have to take her word for it, because I honestly wasn't sure. Beside us, Reese dropped back down to her feet, returning to Shannon's side. That was her sign that she'd had enough interaction.

"Be careful on your way back." I looked up at Emmett, and he smiled, "And for crying out loud, talk to Jasper. Clear the air, because you guys hating each other really stinks. If I get home, and you two aren't hugging, I'm kicking both your asses."

Six months after last seeing Jack, we were still at it. Jack hadn't been back yet, but I expected that. It did make me nervous to think about what he could possibly be planning, especially considering that as far as I knew, that vision of Esme, Carlisle and I hadn't changed.

The further I got into inheriting my trademark golden eyes, the more I worried. I was weak enough as a brand new newborn. I hated knowing that that strength was fading fast, all because of my diet. I was basically choosing to let myself become weak and worthless, all for the sake of my family.

But I had yet to screw up like that again. I was pretty proud of myself, and it was pretty amazing how far pure will power could bring a person. Once I stopped doubting myself, it was almost easy to figure it out.

Even with my diet, though, I was still the fastest. It was a physical attribute of mine that didn't really depend on what I hunted. Thankfully.

My family didn't really push the meeting with Gage or Brett. Emmett teased about it, but he wasn't going to push them either. They all respected the kids' wishes to remain anonymous, which I also appreciated, because I wasn't out here looking for scents alone. Separate, we were fast but together, we were very thorough.

As long as it'd been so far, I hated to realize that Jack had probably been right. Waiting for him to show up again wasn't working with the situation he'd left us in. Particularly Jasper and Rosalie.

Rosalie hated me from the start, so it was only too easy for him to make that worse, but because both she and Jasper hated me, it created a tension that was almost unbearable between the rest of us. They weren't exactly fighting every day, but that tension between them was definitely there.

Pretty soon, we were going to have to change up our plan. We'd have to go to him, but the longer we waited, the less I felt confident I could defend myself. Carlisle wasn't the most eager to go looking for him, but I knew. The longer we waited, the more time Jack had to come up with the next step of the plan. With key members of the family divided, I felt that we were wasting our time.

"Just head south." Shannon told me, "They'll join you. Reese is coming with you this time." I nodded a little, giving Emmett one more parting smile before I crouched, pulled Reese onto my back, and I was off.

Sure enough, only a few moments into my run south, they were with me. I recognized their scents instantly, so I didn't even bother to look back.

In our silent run, I had to wonder. I often wondered about this, so wondering was nothing new. Why was I always, always more comfortable around boys? I considered Shannon a friend, and I liked Reese just fine, but that was about as far as that went. If I had my choice, I would pick Gage and Brett every time.

The same applied to my human ties. Zack and Josh, even Andrew. Very few times did I ever have a friend of the female persuasion. Maybe Alyssa, but that was different.

Especially considering the fact that I was taught rather thoroughly from the time I was very young to fear men. Moreso this time, and for obvious reasons. More than just the fact that they were stronger. It was an instinct I'd carried over, one of the strongest instincts I had, and it still made me sick to think about. That fear was always with me, so why would I prefer the company of boys than girls?

Perhaps it was because I'd never really had a chance to focus on the whole idea of what it meant to be a girl. It was so much easier, at least in my mind, to be a boy. They had so few problems to worry about compared to a girl like me.

I didn't question it too much. It was just a small part of who I was.

"Same track again tonight?" Brett asked from my left. It was the same thing he asked every night we went out, but oddly, it bothered me this time. It wasn't too bad of a feeling, but it triggered an unease in me that I hadn't felt yet.

"Yeah." Gage replied when I didn't.

So we continued on. Along the same track we usually took. It was a silent run for a minute or two before Brett spoke up again.

"Leandra," He said, and I waited, "Why do you go back?" I sighed hard, closing my eyes briefly in annoyance. It was a common question.

"You know why." I replied quietly, calmly, despite how I felt. I didn't want to bite his head off. We'd discussed this before. Often.

"He means well." Gage offered to my other side, "We worry. All that fighting can't be easy to deal with."

"It's not the same." I insisted, "Believe me, guys. I'm grateful that you keep offering.."

"..But?" Brett assumed there was more.

"But.." I confirmed that for him, "You know why. They're my family. They've always been my family." I'd let them in on my little secret. Vaguely, but they got the idea.

"Is it because you don't want to lead?" Brett asked.

That was another thing entirely. Something I had yet to even mention to my family at all. Taking a place with the Tacoma kids would pretty much place me in a leading spot. I really wasn't sure why they wanted _me_ , of all people, in a position like that. I never listened that far, but both Shane and Gage had brought it up, and I was never really comfortable with the idea.

Maybe it was because for the passed several months I'd led these little patrols, but Shane had mentioned it was part of my personality. Something he recognized right away.

It surprised me that they would approach me with this sort of thing, because I'd always thought Shannon was the female lead of the group, but apparently not. According to both Brett and Gage, she was just the mother. The voice that spoke for them. An important role in itself, but she wasn't really a leader in the way they needed.

Shane, Olivia, and Nicole were the three oldest, but they weren't the leaders either. They protected them, but ultimately, the decisions came down to Gage and Shannon.

"I don't know." I eventually sighed. I really wasn't sure how I felt about being offered something like this. Not only was it a major responsibility, the amount of doubt I had in myself just confused me.

"We'll talk about this later." Gage added quietly, "I don't think right now is the time. Let's just pay attention to what we're doing, okay?" Thankfully.

We continued on.

Eventually, the boys broke off to circle around, and I immediately had an idea. I needed to break the nervousness I felt, so I changed my own course.

I pulled myself up into a tree, settling quietly on a dark branch above the path. I waited patiently for them to circle back around. When they did, maybe a minute later, I smiled.

"Leandra."

I could just hear Brett. I crouched, shifting the weight on my back between my feet silently, my unblinking gaze watching straight up the path from my perch above.

I heard his approach, just waiting. Tensed to spring. The weight on my back let out a nearly silent giggle, which prompted another smile of my own. Reese shifted, climbing a bit higher so she could watch over my shoulder, her little arms around my neck tightening just enough to support herself.

"Really?" Brett stepped onto the path ahead, "Guys, this isn't funny." On the contrary. I ducked back as he turned on the spot, looking for us. Gage stepped forward around him with a sigh. He was a little irritated that we'd stopped.

"Just ignore them." Gage told Brett, annoyed, "They'll follow." Just as Gage walked away from him, Brett looked up and spotted us. His smile was instant as he realized why we were where we were. It wasn't him I was hunting. Brett was bait.

In half a step, Gage had moved into the perfect position, so I let Reese drop. She plummeted toward the ground with her own giggle, landing perfectly on her feet right in front of Gage. Making him stop in just the right spot.

Before he could even react, I dropped next. My feet landed right square on his shoulders. Full weight downward, he dropped in even more surprise. I went down with him, and mid-drop, he turned, causing us both to roll.

He stopped, and I stopped, sprawling several feet off the path in the tall foliage. When we were finally still, I grinned over at him.

"Tag." I said, "You're it." I half expected him to be mad at my springing this game on him, quite literally, but he wasn't.

He flew to his feet, causing me to react the same way. My laugh leading the way as he chased me, Brett carrying Reese following along.

Scenarios like this was exactly why it often took a full night to get through our searches every other night. As much as I wanted to find Jack, for my family's sake, I couldn't help having a little bit of fun along the way.

I preferred to take my time, because going home meant more tension. When that tension was already enough to make me want to rip my own hair out, I would much rather play tag than face going home.

My smile faded slowly as I realized that I still felt off this time. Something was bothering me about the path we were on. Literally and figuratively.

So I slowed. Gage caught me, nearly running into me, but he stopped. Brett came to our side, confused, given his small frown.

"What's wrong?"

"Leandra?" Gage asked at the same time.

"Wait." I mumbled, and as soon as I said that, both of them fell quiet. We'd stopped in a thick group of trees in the middle of an Oregon state park. We weren't far from the closest town, yet it was silent here. It was eerie, the silence and stillness.

I knew how bad they wanted to ask, but the boys stood in silence as well. Watching me. It might have been silent, but I was listening to my intuition at that point. I listened to it carefully, looking around myself. It was something I couldn't describe in a million years.

It felt a little bit like that feeling of being watched, but more intense and really no reason to.

Something about this spot, where we were, made me nervous. To anyone else, it would seem just like a normal spot in the trees. There were no strange scents, and I didn't see anything out of place, but my intuition was telling me that this was a bad place to be.

I looked harder, breathed in just a little deeper. Nothing gave me a reason to be this uneasy, but I couldn't shake it. My feet refused to go another step further. Slowly, I reached down and lifted Reese back up onto my back from where Brett had let her down. She didn't resist, and she was nervous. I hated making her nervous, but I couldn't help being nervous myself.

My reaction to being here wasn't going unnoticed by Brett or Gage. My reaction told them to be alert, given the way they'd closed in on Reese and I, looking around us nervously as well. Without a word, they knew.

"Back." I finally said, "We gotta go back." They didn't ask why, which I deeply appreciated. They rounded the second I rounded, and I led the way. They just followed me. If I wasn't so nervous, I would have been pretty surprised that they trusted me so much.

I said nothing, not offering any sort of explanation. I was too focused on keeping our trail directly over the trail we'd already made. Following our tracks directly, in an effort to keep our trail hidden. Even with Reese with us.

I didn't even try to go home first. I led them straight for Tacoma, right for the warehouse. As we got closer, though, I knew the others knew we were coming.

"Heads up." I heard from above us as we reached the outer trees beside the river. It was Cody keeping watch, but he wasn't talking to us. He was letting the rest know we were coming, and coming fast.

We passed under Amanda next, then one of the twins.

We didn't start to slow down until we nearly reached the furthest large door. The city lights reflected on the still water of the river beside the darkened building, and it would have been peaceful if I didn't feel so uneasy.

"What was it?" Gage asked as we finally stopped, jogging to my side.

"Something's wrong." I replied, shaking my head a little, "Something was off."

"I didn't smell anything." Brett frowned, "What spooked you?"

"I don't know." I said, "I have to go home. Just.. Stay here until I come back, okay? Tell Shane and be careful."

With a nod, Gage agreed, and I was gone again.

I followed the same path I'd taken into the area, just so it would be easy to lay a false path away from them. It was something I always did anyway, but I took extra care this time without a second thought.

I made it home in probably record time, even for me.

Before I could get anywhere near the house, though, my path was blocked. I sighed as I stopped, shaking my head at Jasper.

"Close enough." He told me, but I knew exactly why he was out here to stop me, so I wouldn't argue with his tone. The strong sound of the heartbeat inside the house was evidence enough of Bella's presence. I hesitantly, carefully breathed. I couldn't smell her scent that strongly out this way, which I was grateful for.

I wasn't even supposed to be here tonight, so it would make sense Edward would have felt comfortable enough to bring Bella by. I knew he'd been wanting to for a few days. Since my last patrol trip.

"I need to talk to Carlisle." I told Jasper with my reserved breath, and he nodded tensely.

"Did you find something?" Jasper asked quietly.

"I don't know." I replied honestly, "I ran away before I could figure it out, but I think it's worth another look." I told him the location, and he nodded again.

"When Bella leaves, we'll check it out." He was using that tone again. He was irritated with me, probably blaming me for having to run away.

"I'm sorry."

"You probably could have handled whatever this was yourself." He sighed, confirming my suspicion, "By now, it's probably long gone."

I sighed as well. I was really tired of never being able to do anything right. To him, or to Rosalie, nothing I ever did was good enough. I knew full well that if I had stayed, he would have scolded me for staying.

I always felt really intimidated around Jasper. That was something that would never go away, as it was something I'd learned from the very start, but by now, I'd grown smart enough to understand that that isn't how it needed to be. He was still on the fence about my being here, despite how hard I'd tried to prove myself to him and to Rosalie. I also knew that it wasn't really his fault, but I wanted to try to fix it anyway.

"You're doing it again." I mumbled quietly, carefully leaning back against the tree behind me, "You know you're doing it again."

"Yeah, well.." He grumbled, "Grow up, Leandra. Stop blaming everyone else like a child."

"I am a child, Jasper." I reminded him, shrugging a little.

He stood in silence for a moment, before he looked down.

"I'm really trying."

"I know." I replied, "It's not all your fault. Just please try to hate me a little less. This is all I got. I'm doing the best I can." Talking to him like this was usually pretty effective at calming any sort of argument we would have had if I'd been irritated right back or given him attitude.

To my surprise, though, Alice came out to join us. She gave me a small sad smile.

"They're only here for a minute." She assured me, and I nodded. I felt better with her out here. It was silent after that as, sure enough, we clearly heard Edward leaving the house with her in tow. He probably rushed it, having heard what I said.

As far as I knew, Bella had no idea I was here. It was better that way, given who her father was. The last thing we needed was more human attention. It was dangerous enough letting me stay when I was supposed to be dead and gone. Especially with a family of humans that personally knew me just a little ways into town.

Once Edward and Bella were a safe distance away, I wasted no time in walking inside. Emmett passed me, stepping outside. They might not have gotten along, but when it came to something like this, they would work together. It was safer that way. They just argued the entire time about stupid things.

I took a breath as they left, sighing it out as Carlisle descended the stairs, looking concerned as he always did. The whole situation with the family was weighing on him too. I could see it, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. I felt horrible for putting him through this, and I knew it was just the same for him. He could see how badly this was weighing on me too, no matter how hard I tried to hide it.

I wouldn't bother trying tonight.

"I just don't get it." I said, looking up at him as he came to my side, "I'm doing the best I can." I knew he'd been listening while we were outside.

"He knows that." He sighed in reply, "We'll figure this out."

"You did the right thing by coming back." Alice added.

"Not to him." I countered, "Something's wrong. Jack's not coming back, and it's getting worse."

With an understanding sigh, Esme hugged me into her side. I always appreciated it when she did that.

"I'll talk to him." Alice assured me, but I looked over.

"It doesn't work." I mumbled, "I haven't even _seen_ Rosalie in three weeks." I knew they all knew how bad this was getting to me. It wasn't just each other they fought with. Because Jasper and Rosalie were so against my staying here, they fought with Alice and Emmett. I was coming between everyone, only adding to it every time I grew too defensive or angry and snapped back, but I didn't know how to stop it. Other than finding Jack somehow.

It was true. For all I knew, she could have already left, but with Emmett hanging around, I knew she was still around here somewhere. Just avoiding me like the plague since our last real argument.

We stood in silence for a few minutes, until I wasn't surprised to hear Emmett and Jasper returning. I hadn't been that far out there. I decided to make small talk before they even got there, just so I didn't have to talk to Jasper.

I looked over at Alice, ignoring Emmett and Jasper both as they walked through the door, "Bella didn't stay very long. I know I'm not supposed to be here, but still."

"She was tired." She seemed disappointed about something.

"Well," I muttered, "I'm only here for now. I won't be around for Bella's birthday party tomorrow-"

"The party's been cancelled." Alice informed me, which explained the previous bitterness, but it also surprised me.

"Wait," I asked, "What-Huh?" That birthday party had always been one of the main major events that decided what happened next future wise. That had never changed.

"She's got some kind of stomach thing." Alice replied, surprised at my shock.

"That's not supposed to happen." I frowned in thought.

"Tell me about it." She sighed.

"No," I said, "That didn't happen last time."

"And that bothers you?" Jasper asked, "I thought all you wanted was to keep what happened last time from happening this time." There was that irritated tone again, but worse now. Like just me existing bugged him.

"I know." I replied, "But.. That just means everything else I remember happening is changed too. Maybe that's what was wrong before."

"Maybe." Emmett nodded a little, "Because we didn't find anything out of place out there, shorty." His tone was a little softer. He wasn't annoyed by me. He seemed apologetic.

"I was so sure.." I looked down, "I swear I thought I might have been onto something." Despite the fact that I had absolutely no solid evidence leading to anything out of the ordinary. I wasn't surprised to know they didn't feel the same way, but I was disappointed.

"It's okay." Emmett told me, "Don't beat yourself up."

"I just wanna fix this." I gestured to Jasper, "And Jack's the only one that can do it."

"We don't need Jack to fix anything." Jasper rolled his eyes, "As I've told you before-"

"Are you blind?" I asked, crossing my arms as Carlisle moved to my side. Hearing the change in my tone. I was starting to get argumentative, and that was never a good thing when it came to Jasper.

"There's no evidence he even did anything." Jasper argued, "It was mentioned before that disagreements were a pretty common occurrence when it came to immortal children, wasn't it?"

"This is different."

"Is it?" He asked, "Leandra, nobody here knows exactly what to expect with you."

"That's not my fault."

"I'm not saying it is your fault." He countered, "I'm saying that maybe what's been going on between us is normal. It's been said many times before that the creators sometimes grow attached. That's a given, but what about the rest of us? Those of us without a personal tie, and maybe, a shred of common sense?"

I shut up then. He did have a point. It sucked, but he had a point. I didn't want him to be right about this. I had to consider, though, that he was onto something. It forced me to consider the fact that maybe I actually _was_ the only thing coming between them.

Eventually, I just shook my head. I wasn't going to give up that easily.

"No." I said, "I'm right. I know I'm right about this. I've seen it before."

He sighed, "Leandra-"

"Come with me, then." I snapped, "I bet you guys just had the wrong place. I'll show you."

"Fine." He replied, "But only to try to find Victoria. I'm done looking for Jack. He's done nothing to us." I fumed at that one, but didn't bother replying. It was little comments like that that really got to me. Comments suggesting that I already was no longer part of the family, and those comments came often.

I didn't hesitate in turning and leaving the house. Jasper followed, and though I knew they wanted to follow as well, the others stayed behind. Probably to give us a chance to attempt to work this out between us. I wasn't worried about it, but I was pretty pissed.

I led him straight to the area I was concerned about before. I hated the way his footsteps behind mine just pissed me off the whole way here. He'd been picking on me all night, and I was about at the end of my tolerance.

"Here." I told him, turning to look at him, but he was already shaking his head. Given his recent scent, I knew why.

"This is exactly where we were, Leandra." He replied, "There's nothing here to find."

"Yes there is." I argued, "You're just not looking hard enough." I turned around, fiercely pawing back some of the tall foliage in search of something to prove my point. I still had that same feeling, but it was stronger now.

"You're looking too hard." He countered, "There is nothing out here."

"I'm not-"

"Yes, you are."

"This matters to me!" I couldn't help yelling at him, "You might not care, but I do."

"Just let it go." He told me, and I glared.

"I can't just let it go." I replied, "Maybe you forgot, but I worked too hard to just let it go now. Just.." My voice quieted, "Try. Try to see it the way I see it."

Looking up at him several feet away, though, the silence grew cold. The look in his eyes chilled me, as it was so different from what I was used to seeing. It wasn't anger I was seeing. That wasn't it. It wasn't even irritation. The same, for sure, but chilling in a different way. More closed off. More.. Indifferent.

I felt the way my expression changed between emotions. From the anger I was feeling before, to confusion, to nervousness. His indifference was making me uneasy. The same feeling I felt before, only intensified.

"I can't." He admitted after a minute, shaking his head again, "All I can see is your last few days alive. All I can see is how stubborn you are. That stubbornness, Leandra, is what killed you. Had you just listened then, it would have all been taken care of, but you refused. Now, you're on this ridiculous hunt, and you're dragging us all with you."

That hurt, but I hid it as much as I could. It wasn't rare these days for Jasper or Rosalie to hurt my feelings. I tried not to be such a marshmallow, but sometimes, I really couldn't help it. I knew he felt it, what I felt, but somehow, that just seemed to make him more determined. Which was exactly how I knew that, at least for the most part, this was Jack's doing.

I would have to bring that up to Carlisle when I got home.

"It's not ridiculous." I snapped, "Not to me."

"That's the problem." He said, "You don't see it."

"Maybe the problem is that you don't see it." I crossed my arms insecurely, "You don't see any of it."

Taking a breath, he bit back a reply. I knew that wasn't it, though. He was thinking.

Sure enough, he spoke seconds later.

"The way I see it, Leandra.." He spoke carefully, "All the trouble we're facing now is your fault. Victoria.. Jack.. I'm sure eventually Aro.. This may be important to you, but had you never come along, everything would be fine."

I honestly didn't know how to reply to that. He waited, watching me, and it didn't take a genius to understand that he meant every word he said. I had to try, though.

"I-I.." I hesitated, "I just want to fix-"

"Stop." He snapped, and I shut up, "Stop trying to fix anything. All you do is make things worse. This is important to you? Fine. Then pursue this on your own, because I'm done humoring you."

"I didn't ask for this!"

"None of us did." He barked in return, "Bottom line, Carlisle made a bad call that night. He never should have turned you. Alice made a bad call. She never should have followed you. You were just one, insignificant little human, and had she minded her own business like we all told her to, you would have gone on with your life and we would have gone on with ours."

I heard what he meant by that. Things had shifted in the direction I never anticipated them to go. I so suddenly understood what he'd really dragged me out here to discuss. This was the decisive look in his eyes. He'd decided before we even made it out here that this was what he was going to do.

The thing was, I didn't even stand a chance.

"You.." I hesitated again, my voice even smaller, "Wait.."

"You said it yourself." He went on, "Everything would have been better if Alice hadn't made you come back." He had overheard that night, "Well, I'm relieving you of that now."

I tried again, "Wait.."

The nervousness that had settled in my stomach quickly blossomed into fear as it really hit me what was really going on. What was happening right now.

"What-"

"Don't come back." He said, proving my fear right, "Carlisle might not be strong enough to make the choice that's best for us, but I am. Don't come back, Leandra." There was no hesitation, no hint of remorse in his voice.

I'd have been lying if I said I wasn't afraid. I wasn't expecting it to come to this. I never thought he would ever get to this point. If anyone was going to do this, I always thought it would be Rosalie.

"B-But.."

"Just stop." He shook his head.

"I'll do better." I spoke quickly, "Don't do this-"

He didn't even give me a chance to argue. He stepped toward me, and in instinct, I stepped back, but he didn't stop there. He kept coming forward, so I kept moving back.

"Stop it!" I barked, jumping back once more.

"Leandra, it's done." He snapped firmly, "This isn't the place for you. You don't belong here."

"I belong at home."

"You don't have one with us anymore." He replied, his sharp tone cutting me, "Don't come back. I'm done with you. We're done with you."

I continued to stand there until he took one more step, and I retreated again. He didn't stop this time until I was in a full run.

What hit me first was the confusion. There was no real way to describe it. My instincts were telling me to run home, as I always did when I was scared, but I had to force myself to deny those instincts. I couldn't go home. Not with Jasper probably heading there. He was unpredictable, so I wasn't particularly eager to test him.

I didn't think he would actually kill me, but I was unsure about whether or not he'd hurt me to get his point across. It was far too big of a risk for me to take, and I'd already underestimated just how deep these feelings ran.

The confusion spilled over into everything else I thought I knew. I had known before what Jack could do, but this? I highly doubted that this was the result Jack wanted. This couldn't have been Jack's goal, as what good was I alone? What fun was this?

So at least part of this had to have been Jasper's choice. Something had to have been there for Jack to build on if it got this bad.

I was also very conflicted. I knew I had a place to go, but would I put all of that on the Tacoma kids too? How long would it be before they had to chase me away too?

So here I was. Out here, conflicted and confused, completely taken off guard, and out here completely alone.

First things first, though. I needed to stop running and figure out exactly where I was. I knew he wasn't chasing me anymore, he'd given up pursuit easily, so I carefully found a good spot to stop.

I took a moment to think about just how much trouble Jasper was going to be in when he returned without me and when the others found out what he'd done. I considered just staying here right where I was, in case the others tried to find me, but I felt far too vulnerable right where I was.

Besides that, I knew the first place they would look for me was in Tacoma. I had to admit to myself, though, that I was hesitant to go there. After all I'd done to insist that my coven was different, I was quite embarrassed to say that Jasper had just done exactly what they had been warning me about. It hadn't been caused by any reason they'd mentioned, but it had happened.

I didn't want to completely ruin whatever trust they might have been considering to place in them just because Jasper wanted to be an asshole.

So there went that.

Honestly, I didn't know what to do. I knew I could survive on my own if I really had to, but the thought did scare me. I knew enough of the basics of this life to make it alone, but all I wanted was to just go home.

A muted whimper left me as I crouched right where I was. Somewhere in the middle of a field in Utah, in the middle of the night. I knew I had to find cover somewhere, but for right then, fear kept me there.

In an effort to think about something else, I had to consider the fact that that spot actually had been reason to worry. Maybe not for the reason I thought, but it was a reason to worry.

After crouching still for several minutes, the fear started to dissipate, and I could think clearly again. Maybe it was better this way. I might not have the safety of my family, but this way, I could find Jack on my own. I could talk to him, tell him what he'd done, and get everything fixed without dragging them through this with me.

The problem was I had no clue where to start looking. It was very clear that Jack didn't want to be found, or he would have come to us by now. The problem was the longer he was gone, the more time he had to learn this life. If I'd already learned so much, I could only imagine how much he'd learned. Especially with someone like Victoria there to teach him.

I cringed.

Last time, Victoria's main goal was that army in Seattle. If she could pull that off, what could she do with Jack in tow? I also didn't know what to expect. Everything was so different, but the most different, was the fact that Jack and I had never been turned at the same time before. The main problem with that was his strength had only begun to even out with his diet, and mine had declined rapidly.

If I had any hope at all of defending myself should it come to that, I couldn't keep up this diet of animal blood. I knew what I had to do, but if I went and willingly did that, was there even any real hope of them taking me back if I did fix it? Did I even really want them to? I knew full well I could show back up and I would be protected, but I really didn't want to cause more problems between them. It was iffy as it was.

I also knew there would always be that fear of getting chased away again. If I could get away with never having to see the look in Jasper's eyes again, I would do anything. Just that look was enough to make me cringe and my heart to break at the same time.

It slowly started to sink in. I was alone.

That trust in anyone besides Carlisle and Esme had been broken irreparably by what Jasper had done. Even Emmett, as sad as it was to admit to myself, because I knew Rosalie would be happy about what Jasper did, but I couldn't help thinking about what I was told so often about this kind of situation.

Some of the kids were too stubborn to leave, so the option to leave unharmed was taken away from them. Exactly what would have happened if I had kept insisting?

With a sigh, I stood back up. I knew I had to find better cover before dawn, which was coming fast by now. I set off again, further away from home, toward the nearest town.

This little town was perfect. I came across two abandoned buildings before I even reached the town itself. An old barn and a small house just on the outside of some old farm, and given the scent around the area, it had been quite a long time since anyone had been out here. I chose the barn, as it smelled better.

I would stay here until it was safe to move that night. Until then, I just had to hang on until I could figure out what to do.

 **A/N: Yay! First chapter in, and everything sucks.  
I know this seems a bit choppy, but I swear I tried. :} I hope it was worth the wait.**  
 **THANK YOU to those that continued to leave reviews. I loved the confidence boost. Just enough to get this first chapter out to you.**  
 **Chapter two might take a few days, guys. Being totally honest here, as I'm very unsure about my schedule over the next few days, but know I'll be trying. :)**  
 **Until Two, my friends!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

The first thing I noticed was how extremely lonely I already was. Sitting motionless in the furthest corner of the shabby little building, with only my thoughts to keep me company, I had a lot of time to think about things I didn't necessarily want to think about.

All day, I half expected and partly hoped to be found, but it stayed silent outside.

The whole time I was in there, watching the sunlight creep across the floor with the sun changing position, I thought about mainly two things. My next step from here, and the entire time I spent with my family before.

I often visited those memories, but now I had more of a chance to examine them. Looking desperately through those memories like pages of a very large book for any hint of familiarity, just so I'd have some sort of hint as to what to do, but this had never happened before. Nothing like this had ever happened before. I'd always been extremely close with my family. Even Jasper. Maybe that was why I was having such a hard time with this.

I was only going to drive myself nuts with these thoughts. I knew that, but there wasn't much else for me to do.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I really wasn't sure what I was going to do. I knew I couldn't just sit here the rest of time, but right then, that little building was my safety. Shelter, despite how I didn't need it. It gave me a sense of security I used to have, even if for a small moment.

I never asked for this. It never even crossed my mind that I'd be turned, but now here I was. Nursing emotions I'd never wish on my worst enemy.

It was the hardest thing to even try to describe. Knowing it was Jasper alone that made this decision didn't make this any easier. Not in the slightest. It still hurt. I was still scared. I was still alone. Knowing I had a place to go didn't make this any easier. It didn't change anything.

I fought that whole time with my own thoughts. I desperately wanted to blame Jasper for what he'd done, but the other part of me warred with that part. I knew it wasn't entirely on him.

It took me until almost nightfall to realize something. Maybe it would be worth it to take a look in Seattle anyway. Maybe that part hadn't changed. I didn't hold much hope on that, but it was better than nothing. It was the only plan I could find, and the only direction I had.

As much as I appreciated having a plan B, I couldn't just sit back and let it happen.

I was a bit unsure about going back that way, but if I was going to find Jack, it could be worth it. I'd always skipped searching Seattle itself, fully believing that it would be a waste of time. Fully believing that there would be nothing there, and if the others ever searched there, they had never said anything.

Thanks to all my previous nights running, I knew all the best ways to get around the area undetected. As much as I just wanted to go home, I knew that Jasper wouldn't change his mind unless I did this before I tried to come home. There was just one stop I had to make first.

To my surprise, though, I didn't even make it there before I was joined on either side by Gage and Brett. Almost instantly, my loneliness faded, but that loneliness was replaced with nervousness.

"Where have you been?" Gage asked before we'd even stopped.

"What do you mean?"

"Carlisle was here in Tacoma." He answered, jogging to a stop beside me just outside the warehouse, "Looking for you. What happened?"

"Long story." I answered hesitantly, looking down, "But that's not why I came here."

"What's up, Leandra?" Brett asked, concerned. He heard my tone.

"Do you guys have any other places you live?" I asked, looking between the two of them.

Brett frowned while Gage answered, "We have a smaller place just inside the Colorado border. Why?"

"Until I know for sure what's going on," I said, "You guys should go there."

"What?" Brett frowned even more.

"Just take the younger ones, and hide out there for a little while." I insisted, "Please."

"What's going on?" Shannon had obviously overheard, coming quickly to our side, "Leandra, Carlisle is worried-"

"That doesn't matter right now." I hated hearing that, "I'm gonna fix it." I meant to add more onto that, but my voice died out. She frowned as well as she studied me.

" _No_." Brett spoke up again, and his tone made me look over. He'd clearly somehow figured it out, and I couldn't find it in me to try to deny it. All I could do was look at him for a few seconds before I looked down.

"Dammit." Brett figuring it out made it easy for Gage to catch on as well, and he wasn't pleased. He sighed, "Leandra, I'm sorry. We were really rooting for you."

"Aw," Shannon whined a little, "Don't tell me.."

"That doesn't matter right now." I managed to choke out again, "What's important right now is that you guys get out while you can. I-I.. Something might happen around here soon, and you don't want to be a part of it."

"Well, we can't go anywhere until Olivia and Shane get back with the hunting group." Gage replied, "So you might as well hang out here while we wait."

"I can't." I replied, "I don't wanna be here that long. I have to keep looking for Jack. I have to find him. It sucks, but he's the only hope I got."

"Then we'll help you." Gage immediately said, "And when the others get back from Seattle-"

"Seattle?" I asked firmly.

"Yeah." He replied, surprised, "Tonight was a Seattle night. Why?"

"You guys go." I said instead of answering, "I'll find Shane and tell him to catch up. I _don't_ want you guys to get mixed up in this."

"Leandra, we want to help you." Gage shook his head, "You don't have to do whatever you're doing on your own."

"It's my fight." I replied, "Thanks, but.. I have to do it alone. He took something from me, and I'm not gonna give up and just let it happen. I'm gonna get it back."

He understood now, "You know where Jack is."

"I _think_ I know where he is." I corrected, "It's just a hunch, but it's better to be safe than sorry."

Brett sighed, about to argue as he shook his head, but Shannon spoke up.

"Their main hunting spot is downtown." Shannon told me, which also told me that she was going to let me do this on my own, "I have Reese with me, so you should find them pretty easily."

"You're just gonna let her go?" Brett asked incredulously.

"Yes." Shannon replied to him, "I know what it's like." She looked to me as Brett looked down, "When you get an answer to what you're looking for, come find us. You'll know."

I sighed. She really didn't believe I could fix this, but I nodded anyway. Even I doubted, so I didn't blame her much. I stood quiet as she nodded as well, watching as she called the other kids out. Amanda and one of the twins were instantly at her side, Cody trailing slower out. Amanda held Reese in her arms, but I knew everyone else was out with Olivia and Shane.

I worried for them, especially knowing Jack's nature.

Before she could even really start to explain, we all turned north, listening to an approach. I worried for a second that it might be Jasper, as I tensed, but the scent reached us. It was Shane and Olivia. The others right on their heels.

"I guess I don't have to find them." I murmured, half confused.

"What's wrong?" Shannon asked them the second they stopped around us. Lisa went straight to her side, clearly a bit shaken.

"Newborns." Olivia answered, shocked.

"What?" Gage asked, frowning.

"Two of them." Olivia replied, "I don't know where they came from." That confirmed it for me. Victoria was right on schedule, and given the fact that Jack was last with her, I had a solid lead.

"I've never even seen two newborns together like that." Shane frowned, still tense, "This was.. Weird. Not a creator in sight."

"I gotta go." I mumbled, and Shane looked over at me. I looked to him next.

"Take them to Colorado." I said, "I'll let you know when it's safe to come back." He seemed suspicious and confused at first, but I let my expression show a bit more pleading, so he didn't ask.

"Be careful, Leandra." He said instead, "I don't know if there are more, or where their creator is."

"I will." I said, "You guys be safe, too. I need a fall back plan."

"And you have one." Shannon added, "Whenever you're ready." I nodded, grateful. Brett had been extremely quiet, but I knew a lot was going through his mind. I actually had to wonder, because besides Reese, he was the one I had the most connection to. Almost like a brother I never knew I had. I was never really sure why.

"I'll be fine." I told him firmly, and he glanced up with a small nod.

I couldn't stay. I would have to leave them to figure themselves out, as I didn't want to waste more time. All I'd wanted for so long now was to fix everything I'd done, and to keep my family safe. I might have been the smallest member of the family, but I was willingly taking it on myself to bear the weight of everyone else because I caused this.

Way back when I was a human, I made a decision I never should have made, and I brought them into my world. To me, it was all up to me to help bring them out. I was determined, but I was scared. Jack wasn't someone to take lightly, and after everything he'd done to ruin my life, I had no choice but to ask him to help me fix it. It was all I had. Crawling back to him to beg him for a favor.

Because honestly, I would much rather face Jack than face Aro. I had too much counting on me to stay as far away from Aro as I could. One touch would tell him everything he needed to know. About me, about my family, about Jack, _and_ about the Tacoma kids. If he ever found out about them, they'd spend the rest of their lives running from him. However long that was.

Aro wasn't an option. He never was.

Bringing anyone else into this with me wasn't an option. It never was.

As much as I appreciated my family's help, I guess I always knew I would have to do this alone. If I was alone, I'd be less of a threat.

Before I even got there, I had to stop. As much as I'd already been through, knowing I was going into this all on my own made me feel so small, but it had to be tonight. The pressure was intense, but I knew that was only me.

I took my few minutes before I move on. Finally making it into the city I knew I probably should be avoiding.

I found downtown pretty easily. This was the place they said they saw these newborns, and they weren't lying. I followed a trail between the darkened buildings, walking along the alleys and back streets. Every ounce of me on edge and listening hard for any sound out of the ordinary. Breathing in deeply, slowly, in an attempt to sort through the overwhelming scent of humans in the area.

When the scent I was following started to fade, I stopped and looked around myself. Looking up toward the roof of either building I stood between. The dark brick looked unscathed.

I didn't recognize this scent, so I started to doubt. I started to doubt until I rounded sharply at the sound of feet hitting the street behind me. Panic attempted to make me run, but taking in the sight of two obvious newborns standing there kept me still. I could tell they were newborns, just by the way they acted. Their obvious tension gave them away. The same tension I clearly remembered. They were still brand new. Maybe days.

I was closed in as it was, and running at them would be stupid.

Both were males, maybe mid-twenties. Roughly the same build, but subtle differences told me that they were chosen separately.

"Another one?" The one on the left asked, but he wasn't mean about it. Only confused. Just as Shane said, they were both alone.

"I thought we told your friends not to come back." The one on the right was talking to me. I instantly got the impression that he had no clue what he was doing.

"They won't come back." I forced myself to answer him, despite my fear. I couldn't fight off two. _Maybe_ one, but I doubted that very much.

"You're here." The one on the right pointed out.

I hesitated a second to think. Maybe being honest would be the best way to get what I wanted. These two were obviously not out to hurt me, because they would have done so by now, so something kept them back. I wasn't quite sure what it was, as I was half their size. If that. I didn't want to waste time by wondering, so I spoke up again.

"Do you know Jack?" I asked, and immediately, I saw the change in their expression. They hardened, tensed. I went on quieter, "I'm looking for him. Do you know where he is?"

"You don't want to find him."

They were afraid of him? That was what I got from his tone.

"You better get lost before he finds out you're here." The one on the left added when I didn't reply, "Trust me."

"I don't _want_ to find him." I agreed timidly, "I _need_ to. I have to talk to him."

They both hesitated, looking to each other.

"Head toward the river." The one on the right finally said, "You'll find him there, but don't say we didn't warn you." I knew full well that I needed to be careful. These two didn't seem all that bad. They parted, letting me through as I moved passed them, and neither of them followed me.

Above me, thunder rumbled. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence, but this time, I felt the sound in my toes. It nearly felt like a warning, trying to talk me out of going any further.

Within seconds, however, rain began to fall. Just pouring in sheets everywhere I looked. Though it didn't bother me, it was a cold rain. Signifying the quickly approaching fall season.

I found myself walking along a very abandoned street. The streetlights didn't even work, keeping the pavement beneath my feet as dark as the run down and boarded up houses to the right side of the street.

Before I'd even reached the river, though, I picked up a scent that clearly belonged to Jack. I recognized it immediately, and stopped. The area I now stood in was much darker than any of the alleyways I'd been in yet.

I almost couldn't believe that I'd found him, turning slowly to look at him suddenly standing there. The only part of him that had changed was the expression in his deep crimson eyes. He stood there, unwavering, just watching me.

I knew he was waiting for me to speak, but I couldn't find my voice. All the memories I'd revisited from over the last few visions suddenly scrolled through my head while the silence dragged on.

All the pain he'd caused me, all the fear he'd literally beaten into me.

"Rematch?" He finally prompted, and I jumped at how sharp his tone was. I hadn't been expecting him to speak, but his unpredictability was nothing new either.

"No." I replied quietly, weakly. I felt so small compared to him. Worse than I could have imagined before. That wasn't why I was here.

With a small smirk, he started forward. Slowly, carefully walking toward me until he was within a few feet. I stood still, steeling myself against the fear.

I watched Jack closely, tense as he circled me. Every fiber of my being was telling me to run, and it was almost impossible to deny that instinct, but I had to. I had to stay, and deal with this. Just as I figured, he seemed to think of this as a game. I wasn't a threat to him because I was alone. He knew this, and I knew this.

"Look at you." He chuckled. I sensed the difference in him just as much as I was sure he sensed the difference in me. He had learned control. He was no longer unsure. He was smug again, exactly like I remembered him so much.

"I guess I sort of owe you." He went on, "Do you know how fucking cool this is?" He was in a good mood. He must have just hunted, given how vibrant his eyes were.

"I didn't mean to.. Do what I did." I murmured, keeping my eyes on him. Turning on the spot to do so as he refused to stop circling me, "We were just trying to make you believe that I was gone, and you could have gone on with your life, but you kept pushing."

"Hey," He snapped lightly, "I don't let anyone steal my property without asking questions."

"It wasn't their fault." I replied, trying to ease his slightly flaring temper, "Carlisle had to turn me, or let me die."

"Then he should have let you die." He countered simply, "That's the way the world works. Although, I'm not fucking complaining. I have you now, but I'll be honest. I wouldn't know the first place to start when it comes to getting even for what you did to me."

"I thought you weren't complaining?"

"I'm not." He replied, "But do you have any idea how much I lost because of this?"

"I lost Heather and the others too. It wasn't just you."

"You barely knew Heather." He gave me a flat look.

"Well.." I mumbled, "It felt like I knew her for years." I wasn't too sure about opening up to him about my own little gift. At least not yet. Not until I could get more of a feel for his mood. Speaking of gifts, though.. "But.. I need you to fix everything."

"Fix what?" He frowned a little, clearly confused.

"Your gift." I replied, "You used it on my family."

"I did?" He asked, but he didn't seem disappointed, "Well, isn't that interesting?"

"Please.." I said, "Please fix it."

"I'll fix it." He replied, "When you figure out a way to make it up to me. Way I fucking see it, is you owe me a whole family worth of making up. It's really kind of poetic, isn't it? I lose my family, you lose yours."

"Stop." I mumbled, "Please, Jack. Fix it." He finally stopped circling me at the sound my tone. I was actually begging him. He studied me a bit, crossing his arms with a small smirk.

"I'm still not convinced I should." He replied simply, "Convince me."

"Well.." I said, thinking, "Well, what fun is it if they hate me?"

"Plenty of fun." He answered, "It's not them I'm after, you stupid little bitch. Why should you get a family when you don't deserve one shred of happiness? Fuck that. You deserve to be hated. I'm just fucking sorry it didn't work on all of them."

"Stop being an asshole." I couldn't help snapping, "It's not just my life you're messing with."

"They'll deal with the consequences." He countered firmly, "That's what happens when anyone knows you. That's what they get for trying to help you."

"I'm not leaving until you agree to fix them." I replied, "Whatever the heck you did."

"Then get comfortable." I scoffed a little, walking passed me with a small shake of his head. I immediately turned around and started after him.

The dark city of Seattle continued on to the right of us while I followed him up the abandoned street. The rain picked up, ensuring we were both soaked to the skin. This area would have been really very creepy if I couldn't see perfectly.

This really wasn't going well, so I thought hard. Trying to think of a way around this. I needed to make him listen. I was taking a major risk just being here, and that fact wasn't lost on me, but I was making it up as I went along. It wasn't hard to come up with a plan, as it was a direction I'd gone before. Bargaining.

"You don't know what you're doing." I said, still right behind him.

He scoffed again, glancing back at me, "I don't?"

"No." I replied, jogging to his side easily, "I know why you're here. You can't do this."

"You don't know shit."

"No, you don't get it." I sighed, taking his arm and stopping him. He jerked free, glaring at me. I immediately pulled my hand back, "Sorry. But just listen for a second.. I.. I can tell you some things that you won't believe, but it's the truth."

"Fucking enlighten me, then." He replied, but I could see the patience thinning in his eyes.

"You're here with Victoria, right?" I asked, "You know what she's doing here?"

"Yeah, I do." I hesitated at his tone, taking a nervous half-step back.

"Well.." I muttered, "I know how it ends. You won't win."

"Right." He chuckled, rolling his eyes as he moved to keep walking. I stopped him again.

"Really." I insisted, "Trust me. Just this once, trust me."

"And just how the fuck do you know?"

"Because I've seen it." I blurted out, and he frowned. I decided to explain, "I see things. That's how I knew so much before. That's how I knew where to find you tonight. Because I had a vision months ago about this whole thing."

"You're gifted?" Oddly, he seemed to believe me.

"Yeah." I replied quietly, "Even before I was changed. I knew things. I just knew things. Then.. It started to get worse. I'm still getting the hang of it, but.. You gotta listen to me."

"Huh." He seemed surprised, huffing in amusement, "I'll be damned. I always knew there was something wrong with you."

"Yeah." I muttered, with a small shrug.

He laughed, "You're trying to help me now?"

"I'll tell you everything I know.." I replied, "The truth.. If you help me."

"You're probably full of shit." He countered, "And besides that, if I help you, what makes me believe you'd keep your fucking word?"

"Because I'm not a liar like you." I answered easily. I sighed, "All I want is my family. Please. I can't go home until you fix it."

He studied me for a moment, and for a split second, I believed he was going to give in.

"Nah." He finally sighed, turning away. I groaned and followed him again.

"Why?" I had to ask, "Jack, you said yourself you owe me."

"That's why you're not fucking dead yet." He replied, continuing on, "Be grateful."

We rounded the corner, landing on an even darker street. Up ahead, I smelled a few scents I didn't recognize, and a few I did recognize. I grew nervous to realize I last smelled two of these scents that day in the trees. The day James died.

I remembered the story I'd been told about Laurent, and how he left Victoria for a time to settle himself in Denali until next year. Apparently, that never happened either.

"Jack." Victoria's voice was as chilling as Jack's was. Filled with venom, even before we'd reached her, "Why is she here?"

"She won't fucking leave." He replied easily, "I guess I fucked things up for her happy little family."

"Even better." She replied, "But I wasn't exactly prepared for visitors."

As we neared the darkest portion of the street, a long abandoned store by the looks of it, I hesitated just a step as three newborns eyed our approach. I recognized two of them, and they watched me just as closely.

The third male seemed angrier than the other two, his expression downright mean as I passed him.

"Besides." Jack went on, "She could be useful."

Victoria stepped into view, rounding the side of the building, facing us as we finally came to a stop. When I couldn't even look her in the eye, I suddenly realized exactly how stupid it was to follow Jack here, but I really didn't have any other choice. I glanced back as the three newborns closed off the street behind us.

"Bait." Victoria gathered easily.

"I'm not bait." I muttered nervously, "They won't come here looking for me." But I doubted. I actually really wasn't sure if they would come here or not. I just hoped they wouldn't.

"Regardless." She countered, "It might just be worth it to keep you around. For now. Even if you are the reason why James was killed." Her tone was so soft, but the heat behind her words completely shattered any calm that might have come through. She didn't directly blame me, but she still held me partially responsible.

Maybe I could talk my way out of this as well.

"I didn't mean for that to happen." I admitted, and I knew my voice gave away how uncomfortable the three watching newborns were making me.

"Of course you didn't." She replied gently, "You were a newborn." I didn't want to correct her, so I stood in silence. She sighed and studied me as I gathered enough courage to look up at her. She went on, "And you've come here to find Jack. For.. A favor?"

"I just want him to fix what he did to them." I explained, "That's all."

"I see." She murmured, "Well, you're going to have to take that up with him, doll, because it's between you two. I'm a little busy these days." She was going to let me stay.

"One more thing." Jack spoke up, taking her attention, "She says she gifted." Even Laurent looked over at that mention.

"Oh?" She seemed particularly interested before she looked at me, "In what way?"

I hesitated in answering her because I knew she would take me seriously. Jack doubted because he didn't fully understand what it was I could do, but someone like Victoria would know exactly how valuable I would be.

"She says she knows how this little plan of yours is going to work out." Jack answered for me when I didn't, "Because she's seen it."

I clearly saw the way the expression in her eyes changed.

"You're a prophet?" Laurent asked before she could, coming over to stand at Victoria's side.

"In a way." I mumbled in reply, "It works a little different."

"Jack.." Victoria spoke quietly, thoughtfully, "A word?" He glanced down at me before he walked over. I was getting a little nervous. I was so sure she was going to expect me to have some sort of control over it now, but she never gave me a chance to tell her that I didn't.

Maybe I didn't have to tell her, though. Maybe I could just let her assume I still had some sort of use. Just so I could stay around as long as I needed to talk Jack into undoing what he did to my family. The sooner I could do that, the better it would be for everyone. Especially myself.

But did I really want to tell them all about how my family would win against their newborn army next year? What if telling them was a really bad idea, because they would know what to expect? What if telling them almost insured my family's loss?

That changed everything for me. I started to really rethink this whole plan. If Jack wouldn't help, then that had to be that. I couldn't give away my family's edge if Victoria was still planning this whole thing.

That made me so sad, because I really lost hope at that point. With one thought, I'd just lost my bargaining chip. I would never know what chasing me away would have done to them, but it made me sad to think that they were now divided.

Despite knowing that the others wanted me there, I couldn't go back. Not without knowing whether or not Jasper was around. And who even knew? Maybe he convinced Alice, or even Edward that this was the best. The two of them always seemed very on the edge about the whole thing.

"This was a bad idea." I murmured sadly to myself, but Laurent looked over at me, "I really shouldn't have come here. I should have known he wouldn't help me."

"Why?" Laurent asked, and I looked over at him in return.

I shrugged a little, "He never has before. I don't know why I thought he would be any different now." I knew exactly why I thought he would be different.

Jack as an immortal was how I remembered him most from the two previous visions. I probably knew him better like this than I knew him as a human.

"I'm not trying to.. Ruin anyone's life." I went on at him, "I never meant to get James hurt that day. All I wanted was Jack, but I'm already suffering for what I did. I guess I deserve what I get, but I had to try. They were all I had." Again, that really wasn't true. I would always have a place with the Tacoma kids, but that wasn't where I wanted to be.

"This.. Family.." He replied slowly, "The Cullens.. They were after Jack as well?"

"Not like I was." I answered honestly, "They were only trying to protect me, but I was being stupid. I'm sorry. I never should have gone off like I did."

"Apologies don't bring him back, dear." Victoria was back, along with Jack.

"I know." I admitted, "I wasn't trying to get out of anything. I really am just sorry for what I did."

"Tell me." She mused quietly, taking my attention from Jack as he slowly circled around behind me again. "What is your side of the story, sweet pea?" She was being too nice now. I felt my instincts immediately tell me to be suspicious and guarded, even more than before.

"My side?" I asked, glancing back at Jack.

"Yes." She confirmed, but didn't offer any other explanation.

I hesitated for a moment, before I spoke again.

"All we wanted was to be left alone." I murmured, "But.. Because of what he did to me when I was human, I had to be turned. My family tried to tell him that I was gone, but he wouldn't leave us alone until he could see me. So he saw me, but I messed up. Bad, and I bit him before my family could stop me."

"I see." She urged me on, so I went on.

"We were going to get rid of him right after he was done," I went on, "But you guys found him first. I really didn't want to let him go for what he did to me, so.. I went after him myself. I never meant for everyone else to follow me."

"You said he was the reason you had to be turned." She prompted, and I nodded.

"He was my stepdad." I explained, quieter now.

"I beat her ass every day." Jack spoke up, sounding oddly smug. Definitely unapologetic.

"I do not condone violence against children." She said after a moment of thoughtful silence, "We will not harm you. Children are precious."

"They deserve to be protected." Laurent agreed with her.

"But you see.." She sighed, "I'm also torn, because my philosophy is, and always was, any human quarrels die with the human. I'm also not one to condone human vendettas following one into this life."

Then Jack was screwed. She must not know what his hidden plan was. I looked over at him, knowing I could continue and tell her everything I knew, and he knew that too. I could see it in his eyes.

"All it does is create chaos." Laurent said, "As you've come to learn here."

"Well.." I murmured, "Jack told you I see things. I guess I do. I see a lot of things, but everything I know about him-"

"Shut up, runt." Jack grumbled beside me, so this was something he didn't want to get out.

"Let her continue." Victoria told him coolly, "I want to hear what she has to say."

"I was just gonna say.." I went on, "That everything I know about him tells me I should get rid of him, but I can't do that until he helps me, because I don't know if killing him will fix what he did to my family." I'd changed it.

"Why is this so important to you?" She asked, interested as she paced closer, "You know how dangerous this is, especially considering the injustice your coven has caused."

"Someone.." I mumbled, "In my family.. Chased me away tonight."

"Exile?" Laurent seemed surprised, and I nodded a little.

"I can't go back until Jack fixes them."

"And you're sure it was Jack that caused this?" She asked gently, and I hesitated. After what Jasper had said earlier, I wasn't so sure. What if he was right, and this was just how they were now?

"I don't know." I whimpered, struggling to keep my voice calm, "But I had to try. I can't be on my own." I knew full well I had a place to go, but I didn't want them to know that.

"As I stated before, sweetheart." She sighed, almost apologetically this time, "This is between you two. I can't tell him what to do. You're welcome to stay as long as you need to, but I'll be honest with you. As it stands right now, I'm no more tempted to change my mind about this family of yours. Quite the opposite, in fact. Anyone who chooses to exile the weakest member of their own coven deserves to face some kind of judgement."

"But what if it was Jack that caused it?" I asked, quickly now. Surprised at what she said.

"It's true that I don't fully understand his gift or what he can do," She replied, "But I do know that there had to have been some kind of deliberation taking place before this decision was made. It was a choice of theirs, honey."

I wanted to say that it wasn't all of them, but one that made the decision, but I couldn't exactly do that without throwing Jasper under the bus, and that wouldn't save the others from Victoria's wrath anyway. To her, they were all guilty.

"Thanks." I mumbled sadly, "For letting me try."

"I'm truly sorry I couldn't be of more help." She said, and for a split second, I believed her, "But as I said, you're welcome to stay. A gift like yours.. Well.. It could be useful when getting the revenge you seek so adamantly."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Aren't you the slightest bit hurt that this family of yours would cast you out so carelessly?" She asked quietly, and I hesitated, watching as she stepped closer. Coming to my side, definitely not threateningly. She went on, "Perhaps instead of requesting help from Jack here, you should turn your attention on the family that abandoned you, sweetie."

I looked down. I hated to think it, but she could have been right. It might have been Jasper that had done it, but the others had yet to even find me. Had I been mistaken before? Did they all know what he was dragging me out there to do? Had I overestimated how much they cared about me?

"No.." I argued with a frown, looking over at her, "It's Jack's fault."

"I didn't want to say this," Jack chuckled, "But I didn't do a damn thing."

"Yes you did." I frowned even more, looking back at him, "Everything started-"

"Right after you ran off to find me." He replied, "Right? Well, I know I always got pissed off when you wouldn't listen to me. Maybe it was you that made them hate each other, and maybe they just got sick of your shit." I looked away at that point, because I couldn't keep arguing with him. He had too many points, and I really didn't want to admit to myself that he might be right. He went on, "I told you nobody would ever want you but me. Didn't I? How's it feel knowing I've been right this whole time?"

Beside me, Victoria sighed, "Stay as long as you need to, sweetie. They might have thrown you away, but we won't." I knew they wouldn't. All Jack ever wanted was for me to be stuck under his thumb again like I always was before. Besides. All Victoria was doing here was against the rules enough. Why bother chasing me away?

Numbly, I nodded a little.

I took the rest of the night. Surprisingly, Jack didn't bother me that whole time. Nobody did. They left me alone to really think about what Victoria had said to me. I was watched, closely by all of them, but I didn't let that interrupt the constant flow of repetitive thoughts through my overworked mind.

I just couldn't shake off the feeling that where I was really wasn't where I wanted to be. Shannon had said that Carlisle was worried about me. Part of me had expected that, but I wondered if he still was, or if he'd already given up.

Sometime near dawn, it really started to sink in and my feelings toward what had happened started to change. Had I already done enough damage to them? Maybe with me gone for good, they would start to heal. Maybe Jasper was right. Maybe they didn't need Jack to fix anything. Maybe they just needed me out of the picture.

Never in a million years had I thought about this. Every other time something like this had happened, every instinct in my body told me to try to get back home. Except for the time when Jack had used his ability, but that was different. I could feel the difference.

I needed to confirm it, though, but I was afraid to do it alone. Jasper had made it very clear that he didn't want me to go back, but what was the worst that could happen? I was faster than him. He'd just chase me away, but what if he wouldn't stop? I couldn't fight him now.

After enough thinking, I talked myself into it. I would have to go back, just to make sure that this was what they wanted. I wasn't sure what I would even say, but I had to try. If the same thing happened again, I wouldn't go back. I needed the closure too badly to just not go back.

I took off running without a word, and I knew all three of them watched after me. After a few strides, however, I knew I was being followed. To my surprise, Jack wasn't trying to stop me. He was my only follower, but he kept his distance, just trailing after me like we were tied together.

He stopped when I stopped within the trees on the north side of the house, silent as I hesitated in my approach.

Given the silence around us, and the fading scents, nobody was here. They hadn't been here for awhile. Curious, I moved closer. Leaving the trees. The newest, closest scent was, in fact, Jasper's. He'd been here within hours, and that tried to make me nervous, but I ignored it. Somehow I didn't feel quite as nervous with Jack with me.

I approached the porch before I turned and looked around me.

"They're not here." I mumbled, despite knowing Jack already knew that. He gave a bored shrug.

"Why'd you even bother coming back here?" He asked in that same bored tone.

"I guess I just wanted to see." I sighed, "I needed to see.." With a small whimper, I sat down on the porch steps. Something I so often did as a human, something that under normal circumstances would have given me some sort of comfort. I'd never been rejected like this before. By any of them. Now that I was, I really wasn't sure how to react.

"You look so fucking pathetic right now." Jack piped up, and I looked over at him.

"I feel like it." I replied honestly, looking back down, "I don't even know why I came back here. Maybe they are better off without me."

"How many times do I have to tell you?" He asked, " _Everyone_ is better off without you."

"Except you, right?" I countered, slightly sarcastic.

"Property." He gave another small shrug. I fell quiet, staring at the ground in front of me. I didn't even know how to respond to that. It should have bothered me, but it was such a _Jack_ response, it was normal.

"How sad is it.." I finally mumbled, "That someone like _you_ is my last hope?"

"Last hope for what?" He asked, "That's what you're not getting. You don't deserve any of this."

"Maybe you're right." I said, "But I had to see for myself. Maybe you're right. I don't deserve any of this, because all of this is my fault, but.. If you could just fix them.. For _them_ , not for me.."

"I didn't do shit." He stressed this time.

"Yes you did." I replied, "They don't just turn on each other like that. They never have."

"Right." He seemed to remember, "The.. Weird fucking vision thing. Well, what's different? You."

It seemed to hit me then. He was right.

I was the only thing different in this whole situation. As often as he'd been around my family before, in every vision, he'd never made them turn on each other like this. Never. They'd always stood strong together, but since I was turned, they'd always been a bit divided.

It was no longer an 'if' situation. Jasper had been right. It was never Jack that led to this. It was always me. The threat I posed, the problems I caused in the beginning. Just by existing, I divided them.

Looking for Jack this whole time was just a way to cope. Denial, and I wasn't the only one living in it.

I felt my expression fall as I realized this, and I knew he saw it too.

"I've _always_ told you." Jack went on, "You ruin lives. You-"

"Can you fix them?" I asked, cutting him off, "Even if you didn't cause this?" He knew what I was asking now, and at first, he was confused.

"Why?" He frowned, "Bitch, they _dumped_ you."

"Because of _me_." I argued, standing up, "It never would have gotten this bad if I'd paid attention. Now because of me, things are worse. I just need to know if you can fix what I did."

He snorted, "Well, shit. I still can't see how even fucking _trying_ would benefit me. Way I see it, they got themselves into this mess. Why should I-"

"Please." My voice was calm, quiet, "I'll do anything you want. Whatever you want as long as you bring them back together."

The slow smile that creeped across his face told me I was probably signing my soul away with that statement, but honestly, I meant every word I said.

Fixing what I'd done had been my one goal since before I was turned. Seeing those visions changed something in me, and if I could just accomplish what I'd set out to do back then, I would do whatever it took.

Before he could even reply, our conversation was put on hold as we both clearly heard someone's fast approach. Given the scent closing in fast, it was Jasper.

I leaped off the porch, retreating back into the trees. Away from the direction of Jasper's approach. Naturally, I would show up right at the moment Jasper would return. Just my luck.

"Don't run." Jack told me, gripping my arm and swinging me to a stop. I looked over and up at him incredulously, but I stopped. I didn't even fight. Jasper arrived the second he turned us around.

I looked at Jasper briefly, unable to look at him for long. As he watched me, though, I felt that nervousness fading fast. It wasn't Jasper easing it, but I was suddenly mad at him. Who was he to chase me off? Who was he to make that decision for the family?

"I thought I told you not to come back." His tone was solid stone, no hint of remorse.

"Where's Carlisle?" I asked instead of answering, "I need to-"

"They're gone." Jasper cut me off, "They left last night."

"Where did they go?" I asked, "I'm not-"

"They're gone." He repeated, firmer.

"I get that you don't like me-" I cut off, jumping back with my own warning growl as he stepped forward. I glared at him and he glared at me, neither of us even paying the slightest bit of attention to Jack still standing there. Jasper's focus was on me, and me alone.

"I need to hear it from Carlisle." I snapped, standing upright again, "You don't speak for him."

"I don't need to." He countered, "With you gone, I finally talked some sense into them. They all saw how right I was, and they moved on. Alice and I stayed behind to give you the news in case you came back. Besides." He finally looked at Jack, glaring at him briefly, "I see you've found a replacement already."

"Only because of you." I was surprised that my first instinct wasn't to deny his accusation.

"It doesn't matter why." He replied sharply, "You had options."

"I went to find Jack because I wanted him to fix you."

"Again," Jasper rolled his eyes a little, "It doesn't matter. The point is nobody wants you here. You cause too many problems, and it was only a matter of time before you took everyone else down with you. You were too much of a liability to keep around. You still are. Now leave."

"I'm not-"

"Leave." He repeated, "Both of you."

"Why?" I barked, "What are you going to do? And if Carlisle's not coming back, what's it matter?"

I hadn't even done anything, so Jasper's increasing hostility was a bit confusing, but I felt the same way.

"Last chance." Part of me was surprised at his reply, "Leave."

"I'm not afraid of you." I found myself saying, "You can't bully me."

It suddenly became clear to me that no matter what I said, he wasn't going to listen. All the anger I felt toward him changed. In a second, I remembered all the times I'd actually looked up to him, and fighting with him now only made those memories painful.

"Fine." I snapped at him, hiding my pain the best I could, "I'll go, but I'm _not_ afraid of you. I'll fix this. Soon you'll figure out how wrong you are. Especially when I find Carlisle myself."

With that, I turned and started walking away.

I jumped as Jasper darted forward, but by the time I turned back around to face him in an attempt to defend myself, Jack was already shoving him back. I'd obviously underestimated Jack's reflexes as Jasper literally flew back.

The second I saw that, though, my emotions changed. It was such an abrupt change, it sent me running. Fear, anger, confusion, panic.. I ran.

Usually I had time to recognize my emotions as they swelled up, but this time, it was an instant change and it startled me. Being startled, flared the panic.

I couldn't believe what had just happened. Then again, I didn't think much about it. My instincts were to get away. I never expected a second rejection to bother me this much, but it was more than that. It was everything piling up all at once.

Seconds after I started running, Jack was trailing me again. Confused and defensive, I stopped and rounded at him. He caught me easily before I could even try to hurt him, gripping both my arms tight in his hands and shaking me roughly. It jostled me just enough to listen.

"Are you fucking stupid?" He snapped at me, and I looked up at him, "You don't tell someone _that_ mad at you that you're not afraid of them. Didn't I teach you that by now?"

I stayed silent, peering up at him. It occurred to me then that he'd just protected me. He'd kept me from a fight that I had no hope of winning. Maybe he hadn't actually meant to, but it's what he did.

Months before, I never in a million years would have ever believed _Jack_ would have to stand between Jasper and me. I never would have ever believed that _Jack_ would be the one that had to protect me. It was _wrong_. It was _wrong_ , and I _hated_ it. I fought it. I resisted the emotions that came from something like that.

I refused to accept it.

 **A/N: There we have it. Chapter two! I hope it was worth the small wait, and I'm SO sorry for the abrupt cliffhanger. (:  
** **THANK YOU! HUGELY for the reviews of last chapter. :D No joke, they made my day! Being totally honest, I love hearing your thoughts. They mean so much to me. So seriously. Thank you.  
** **Little KNeu has been more active lately. He's just about literally everywhere, but.. Plus side, I'm estimating that in only about 17 years, I'll have a lot more time to work on this. ;) ...Unless there's a second Little KNeu somewhere in my future.. Then it'll be longer lol  
** **Chapter three will be along as soon as I can, guys. I feel like I'm starting to find my balance again, but of course, some days are better than others.  
** **Until Three, my amazing friends! (:**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Only seconds later, I shook out of it. Jerking away from him and pacing away.

"I'm not some stupid kid anymore." I snapped back at him, "Thanks to you."

"You know what happened wasn't my fucking fault." His response surprised me, and it opened the door for more conversation. It seemed that we'd be talking about this right here. Our history, our past. What happened before everything changed so much for both of us.

"Are you seriously still denying it?" I asked incredulously, turning back around to face him, "If it wasn't for you-"

"You should have said something!"

"I did!" My shout echoed around me, "I begged you over and over to stop, but you just kept going! If it wasn't for you, I'd still be alive!"

"And if it wasn't for you-"

"You deserve a lot worse than what you got, so shut up." I countered, cutting him off, "You took it too far, Jack-"

He rolled his eyes, "You're fucking pathetic." He was infuriating!

"And then.." I went on, ignoring that, "You just left me there with your dad!"

"I was trying to scare you." He replied, much calmer than I clearly was.

"Well, it worked." I snapped again, crossing my arms, "Remember the brick?"

"Yeah." His attention was captured given his abrupt expression change. I knew he'd been curious about what had happened that night. The night I officially died.

"That was Edward." I said, "He helped me when you wouldn't. He heard my thoughts, and he threw that brick to get Ken off me when you wouldn't. My family was there the whole time. That black car you saw? That was them. They followed me the whole way there. They knew I was throwing up blood. They knew you wouldn't do anything. They just wouldn't do anything, because I told them not to."

Just admitting all of this to him hurt me. The words came pouring out the same way the tears couldn't.

"They took me home that night." I sobbed, watching him watch me, knowing he was indifferent to my emotion. It just made me more mad, "They helped me when you wouldn't. They did more for me since I've known them than you've ever done for me."

"And they _still_ got rid of you like last week's trash." He finally snapped at me, "And they still dumped you, because you meant nothing to them. You'll always mean nothing to them. You hear me?"

"You always say the same thing." I growled, glaring through my emotion, "Every single time, it's the same stuff."

"What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?" He was confused, and he didn't like being confused. It meant he wasn't in control of the situation, and that bothered him.

I took a breath, forcing myself to calm down at least a little bit before I got started in my explanation. Right there in the middle of nowhere, I explained everything. I filled him in on everything I knew about me, leaving out only a few details, and I told him all I knew about him. Including all the parts of him that he'd never actually told me. I told him exactly what and how I knew all about his gift, and what it meant to him and to me. What that ability eventually wound up doing to me.

I chose to leave out my link to Aro. I wasn't willing to face that yet myself.

I told him about all that happened last time, choosing to leave out the small detail of how exactly Victoria lost the fight, even with her newborn army. I still needed that, but I moved ahead. How the years passed both times with him constantly trailing me. Hunting me down even after he was turned. I told him how it ended both times, and I told him the promise to myself.

The whole time, he stood in silence, watching me with that same stoic expression in his eyes. Never interrupting, just listening to what I was saying. The longer he stayed silent, the more courage I gained, knowing he was actually listening to what I was saying.

"Everything," I eventually finished, much quieter and calmer than I'd started, "Everything.. I did was to try as hard as I can to keep all of that from happening again. Up until the night I was changed, all I wanted was to just.. Fix it. All I wanted was to fix everything I messed up by doing what I did. I didn't know at first that I was dying, and I tried to tell you as soon as I figured that out, but.. You didn't believe me."

He stayed silent even after I stopped talking. He continued to watch me long after I'd fallen silent. I waited as well, watching him right back as I waited for his reaction to everything I'd just said.

"Well then." He sighed after a few silent minutes, "That explains a lot."

"All I ever wanted was just to get away from you." I went on, braver by his quiet response, "I never wanted.. This.." I gestured to him, "To happen. I never even wanted to hurt you for everything you did to me. I didn't want anyone to hurt you for what you did to me. I never even meant for me to be turned. I just wanted to be done, but.. It happened, and I can't change it this time."

"Everything you dreamed," He started in thought, "You say you lived?"

"It was real." I confirmed, "At least to me. When I first woke up, it was the weirdest feeling." I forced a small laugh, "Like the realest dream you've ever had, but worse."

"So how do you know you're not just dreaming all this?" He asked, obviously curious. I was happy to explain that, because it meant he was still listening with an open mind.

I took a breath, "Little things. It's hard to describe, but I know that this is real this time. It's.. Like sharper, almost. When I remember the visions, I remember them different. Not that what happens is different, because it is a lot different, but.. Sounds are different. Smells are different. Things like that." He nodded a little, so I went on, "Maybe I know it's different this time because I actually remember everything that happened in them. It's not easy to remember all that, no matter how you look at it, but I've had a lot of time to think so far."

He nodded again, still clearly in thought as he turned away. Weirdly enough, I felt better. Talking to someone who knew how I was before about how far I'd come, even without the change, made me feel better. He knew me before. Jack had known me my entire life, and knew me better than anyone else on the planet, so it was relieving to explain all of this to him.

He was deep in thought, and I wondered strongly what he was thinking about so hard, but I stayed quiet. I knew if I were to ask, he'd probably just get defensive. He knew now that I knew him much better than he ever thought I did, and I knew that bothered him. Especially knowing that I knew everything I could possibly know about his past and his childhood. That was always his own wound to protect. I didn't need to poke at that, but I was still curious as to what was going on in his mind now.

Then again, I'd never in my life ever been that open and transparent with him. Doing so now seemed to change things a bit more. It almost evened things out. At least that's how it felt to me.

"Fuck!" The loud, frustrated snap from Jack startled me and I jumped in response. I hadn't been expecting it.

"What?" I asked, now edgy.

"Now I can't fucking take you back there." He turned around to look at me, gesturing in the vague direction of Seattle.

"Why?" That surprised me.

"You really think I want you around that bitch?" He snapped, "You've gotta be fucking crazy if you think I was there because I liked her. Her and that other dumbass.. Larry or whatever the fuck his name is.. "

"Laurent?" He ignored me.

"I was there to learn the ropes a little bit." He went on, "I'll be damned if I'm gonna be sticking around to be some obsessive bitch's lapdog. Fuck no. Fuck that."

"We're not going back?"

Something didn't add up to me. It didn't make sense why he had suddenly turned against her like that, but I knew he had his reasons. He always had his reasons.

"What are we gonna do then?" I asked, unable to help it, "If you won't go back to Seattle.. And I'm not going back _there_.." I glanced back in the direction of home, "Where are we going?"

"I don't give a shit what you do." He replied, "But if you're set on following me like a lost puppy, I guess that's on you." I didn't have much of a choice, but again, neither did he. He might have been stronger, but he wasn't faster.

"I'm not giving up." I agreed, "Not until you help me fix them."

"Jesus fucking-" He cut off in frustration, "How many goddamn times do I have to tell you? I didn't do shit."

"You said that already." I replied, "I just want you to try."

"Is this _really_ what you want?" He asked, still frustrated, "Do you really think it's smart to piss me off?"

"I know what I want." I answered, "And I know what you want." He gave me a flat look, so I continued, "I know you like to be alone, so.. I can be really annoying if I have-"

"You already are." He snapped, but I knew I was wearing him down.

"Either you help me, or you're stuck with me."

"That's on you." He repeated simply, "I tried. Back there. I fucking tried. Just give it up already."

"Maybe they have to be together." I replied, "Maybe it won't work on just one person at a time, because that's not how it happened. Maybe-"

" _Maybe._ " He mocked me, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He sighed, but his tone changed, "But you know I'm gonna hold you to that agreement we made back there." I looked down.

"After." I clarified, "I'll do whatever you want, but only after they're back to normal." I worried about what that 'whatever' was, but I would have to put that away until I got what I wanted.

He chuckled, "You throw that word around, but you really should be careful. Think hard. Is this _really_ worth it?"

"Yes." I replied easily, "Anything is worth it. I care too much about them to let them stay this way."

"Okay." He grinned, "Fine. Agreed. Lead the way."

That was the problem. I had a hunch, but I really wasn't sure where they would be. Much less together. I could only hope. Jasper had said that he'd talked sense into them, but was he actually telling the truth?

"New York." I mumbled, "But I have to stop somewhere first." He gestured forward impatiently, telling me to go ahead, so I turned and started off.

I had to check Tacoma first, just to make sure they had taken my advice. It would be a little bit harder to talk to them with Jack right on my heels, but I didn't have much choice. I didn't want to lose him again, as that would just set me back quite a bit.

I stopped at our usual meeting spot. If they were still here, they would find me. Jack looked around us, bored as we waited. I was a bit disappointed when after a few minutes, Shannon arrived at my side.

Her eyes were immediately on Jack standing there, her gaze distrustful as he grinned at her, but before she could ask, I spoke up.

"I'm sorry." I said, "I didn't want to bring him there, so we came here. I need him to stay with me."

"What do you need?" She clearly wanted to get this over with. She trusted me and my judgement in people, but only so far. With a glance back at Jack, I took her arm lightly and led her a few steps away.

"When you last talked to Carlisle," I started in a low whisper. Our effective way of talking without anyone else overhearing. "Did he say anything about going anywhere?"

"No." She frowned a little, replying in the same nearly silent whisper, "Why?" I knew Jack couldn't hear, given the way he sighed in boredom and turned away.

"I need to find him." I murmured, "What did he say?"

"He didn't really say anything." She answered, "Just that he was looking for you. I guess when you didn't come back with Jasper, he got worried. It was Jasper, wasn't it?"

"Was anyone else with him?"

"No, he was by himself." She replied, "I didn't really think to ask him about it. I told him that I last saw you earlier that night, before you ran home. Leandra, I don't like him." Her eyes shifted to Jack still standing there.

"Good." I replied in a quieter whisper, "That's Jack."

"You found him?" She seemed surprised, but that reminded me.

"You need to take the others to Colorado." I stressed this time, "Just take them there and stay until it's safe to come back. It's a long story."

"We're leaving tonight." She assured me, "Nicole went ahead to make sure the area is still safe." I nodded a little. That was acceptable.

She hesitated, glancing back in the direction of the warehouse. We couldn't see it from here, but I knew that's where she looked. That was always her main focus.

"Just take them there." I said, "It's not safe here anymore. I promise I'll tell you about it when I can, but right now, I need to find Carlisle."

"Okay." She finally agreed, "But promise me you'll find us as soon as you can." I didn't miss the glance she gave to Jack again.

"I promise." I replied easily, "I'll find you when I can." I honestly wasn't sure if I'd just lied to her or not, but I would have to find that out later. To my surprise, though, she hugged me.

She was never really the hugging type, but then again, neither was I and I accepted her hug easily.

"Be careful." She stressed, "Leandra, he scares me." I nodded as I stepped back.

"I will." I murmured, but I didn't reply to her second confession. I knew he had that effect on people. He intimidated people without even trying, and it wasn't his physique that did it.

"If you see Carlisle before I do," I went on quietly, "Tell him to go to New York. He'll know what I mean."

"I will." She repeated my earlier promise, "And I'll pass on the word." I nodded again, sighing as I turned away from her. I listened as she left, running off back in the vague direction of the warehouse.

"What the fuck was that?" Jack asked, gaining my attention.

"What was what?" I frowned.

"That creepy-ass whispering you both just did." He stressed.

"That's how we talk when we don't want anyone to hear us." I explained, stepping passed him, "I said we would be in New York, so if she sees Carlisle, she can tell him."

"Hold the fuck on." He started following me, "I didn't agree to some fucked-up kind of fucking treasure hunt."

"Well, we need to find them to get them all together." I replied pointedly.

"Why the fuck would I want to follow you God-knows-where just to find people I really don't like?" He asked, "That's on you."

"Well, what should we do then?" I demanded, and he gave me a pointed look.

"When you figure your shit out, let me know." He replied condescendingly, "Right now, I'm going hunting." He turned around and started walking away. Back toward town. Instinctively, I started after him, following him toward the city. Once again, I _really_ didn't want to lose him.

"I already figured it out." I said, "We're going to New York."

"No," He corrected, stopping as he looked down at me, "You are. I am hunting."

"Then I'm not going until you go." I countered, "Do you know how hard it is to find you?"

"Umm.." He muttered incredulously, "Yeah. No shit."

"Well, you can't hunt here anyway."

"Oh no." He turned, continuing on, "You told me 'no'. What ever will I do?"

"Seriously." I followed, "You can't."

"And just why the fuck not?" He asked doubtfully. It was daytime, so hunting would be harder anyway, but how would I explain that to him?

"Some of my friends live here."

"And?" He scoffed. He chose a nice, closed in spot behind a convenience store on the corner.

"And.." I went on firmly, "If you hunt here, it'll screw things up for them."

"Surprise." He replied, "I really don't give a shit."

"You don't know how hard they've worked to make things right here." I snapped under my breath, "Just go.. Over there somewhere. Next town over to hunt, but not here."

He was about to reply, but we both fell quiet at the sound of quickly approaching footsteps from inside the building. The back door opened forcefully, slamming back against the wall, but we were already hiding behind a pair of dumpsters at that point.

I already knew what was going to happen, and I knew there was no chance of talking him out of it. He didn't have the same kind of restraint that I had. I looked down and away, closing my eyes as I felt Jack move away from my side.

I suddenly remembered, though. Places like this usually had security cameras. Jack wasn't thinking about any of that, so I had to.

I looked up sharply, toward the top corner of the building, and sure enough, there sat a security camera pointed right in the worst direction possible.

"Jack." I hissed sharply, wasting no time in scaling the side of the building to reach it. Just as the employee's yelling started, I reached the camera and ripped it out of the wall.

"Shit." I growled, looking over at him and the now lifeless guy from where I clung to the building, "Jack, hurry up."

He made no acknowledgement, so I looked around a little more. Thankfully, I didn't see any more, but that didn't comfort me. I listened hard to the voices inside the store, listening for any hint that anyone had seen or heard anything.

I jumped down the second I heard the body fall, signifying Jack was done. I held my breath, glaring as I darted to Jack's side. He chuckled at my expression, turning and walking away casually.

"Are you just gonna leave him there?" I asked, glancing back.

"Yeah." He replied easily, "Let them figure it out." I pursed my lips, glancing back once more before we safely started to run. I wasn't sure what else could be done. It wasn't like he could just walk into the store and say there was a bloodless dead guy in the alley, but as soon as we were a safe distance away, hidden by a lot of vegetation, I reached over and punched him in the arm.

"What?" He barked, glaring down at me.

"You have to be more careful." I growled in return, "Somebody could have seen you. There was a camera."

"So?" He asked, "Let them watch. It's not like they'll ever fucking find me."

"They might not." I countered, "But if too much attention is brought to this area, someone else will."

"Right." He scoffed, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop.

" _Please_." I couldn't help my tone as he looked down at me, "I'm not telling you not to hunt. Just be more careful with where you hunt. I'm _begging_."

"You're asking a lot of fucking favors." He grumbled, "What's with you?"

"Victoria never told you about Aro, did she?" I asked, my voice quiet and timid.

"What the fuck is Aro?" He asked, confirming my suspicions. It really made sense that she wouldn't tell him about any of that. Telling a newborn, which we both still pretty much were, about anything like that would only hinder whatever plan she had for him if he knew he had to be careful.

So I filled him in on the basics of the Volturi and what it meant to be discreet. His doubtful expression didn't comfort me this time. He snorted once I was done.

"I don't think you have anything to fucking worry about." He told me condescendingly.

"Yes I do." I mumbled, "I have a lot to worry about. If Aro gets curious and comes here.." I shook my head.

"What?" He asked as I hesitated in continuing.

"Well, you know his gift, right?" I replied quietly.

"The hand hold, mind read thing." He prompted impatiently.

"I'm different." I went on, "My gift works with his gift like nobody else's. He's been looking for someone like me for a really long time, and if he knows about me, that's it for me." I hesitated, waiting for his reply. When it didn't come, I went on, "And I have a lot of people I need to protect, so.. _Please_ just be careful."

"Well, shit." He finally said, "Why didn't you say you were a fucking fugitive?"

"Because he doesn't know it yet." I replied, "He doesn't know that I'm the thing he's been looking for for so long."

"And that's my problem how?"

I sighed in frustration, "Fine. Do whatever you want. Bring them here. They'll just kill you, take me, and doom the rest of our kind, because _no_ body would ever stand a chance anymore if he has me. Good going."

"Watch the fucking tone."

I growled at his response, turning away.

"If you haven't noticed," He went on, following me, "I don't do _any_ thing carefully. Fuck that."

"I did notice that." I replied sharply, "I'm proof of it."

"Exactly." He snapped, no doubt responding to my tone, "You could be a little more fucking grateful."

"For what?" I scoffed, turning back to face him, "The only reason I went looking for you at all is so you could fix what you messed up."

"Goddammit!" He growled this time, "We've been _over_ this. I fucking agreed to try, but if you can't keep your fucking mouth shut-"

"Fine." I realized I was pushing him too hard, "Fine. Okay." I took a breath, "Let's just get to New York. The sooner we find them, the better." I forced myself to stop there.

He knew me better than anyone else on the planet, and I knew him better than he knew me but that really didn't mean we'd ever understand each other. Essentially, he'd taken my life, and I'd taken his. I doubted we'd ever be on the same page.

I hated him and he hated me, but I needed his help and he had plans for me. I knew sooner or later it was all going to blow up, but for right then, I really needed to be careful and choose my battles wisely. Especially given the fact that he'd just hunted, and I hadn't hunted in several days.

"So are you coming with me or not?" I actually wasn't sure, "To New York?"

"And do what?" He asked. That was a good question. If they weren't all there, Jack trying to help wouldn't do much if it didn't help with Jasper.

I hesitated, looking down.

"Jack." I jumped, actually startled at Victoria's voice arriving from nowhere. I rounded to spot her standing behind me. I hadn't even heard her coming, she was so silent.

"Yeah, yeah." Jack rolled his eyes, "Jesus. Can't a guy get five minutes-"

"You know why." Her voice was calm, careful as she slowly stepped toward my side. I looked up at her, but she never even glanced at me. She wasn't mad, or even irritated. Only calm colored her expression, easing me slightly.

When he didn't reply, Victoria looked down at me. Her focus shifting so much faster than I was used to. Given the small, vague conversation between them just now, it suddenly became apparent that I wasn't the only reason why he didn't want to go back.

"Are you coming?" She asked me, and at first I hesitated. I looked to Jack, noticing he was already watching me. I'd already said I would follow him as much as I had to until I got what I wanted.

"Yeah." I answered her, looking back up at her. She smiled a little, both of us ignoring Jack's nearly silent growl. I had to admit I was curious. I wanted to know more about the woman able to boss Jack around like it was nothing.

And so we were off again, back toward Seattle. Jack led the way, but Victoria followed him closely like a silently scolding parent that had just recaptured a wandering child.

I was always really good at reading people, and I was now positive that there was more going on between them than I would ever have assumed before. I just didn't know what to think.

As soon as we got back to the same spot we had left, we ducked out of sight between the overpass above us and the building to our left. Given the scent, this wasn't where they usually stayed, but at least I didn't see any of the newborns anymore. It really seemed like they had more than one usual spot.

"Laurent," Victoria spoke calmly again, and he looked over at her silently, "Keep our guest comfortable, will you please?"

"Of course." He replied easily, looking at me. I looked at him, and I knew he could see the distrust and slight nervousness in my eyes, given the way his eyes narrowed as he smiled just a little.

Once again, I tried to shake off the pressure of that fight or flight response, because I knew if I had to, I could get free, but the fact that Victoria was asking Laurent to keep an eye on me without saying it bothered me.

I looked back over, but Victoria and Jack were both gone. Out from the shadow of our hiding spot, and nowhere to be seen. Maybe I could get a few answers from Laurent. I decided to try.

"Does she always boss you around like that?" I asked, but he stayed silent. Just watching me. I went on, "Because I've never seen anyone boss Jack around like that."

"He knows." Laurent finally replied, "He serves a purpose."

"Yeah." I sighed, "Torturing me."

"Hardly." He chuckled, "I suppose it would seem that way to you."

"Did you know that you're not supposed to be here?" I asked, and he frowned a little, so I decided to explain, "You were never here before."

"Oh right." He replied, chuckling a little, "Your ability. Where was I?"

"Last time," I went on, ignoring his question, "James didn't die the way he did. That part's the same. That he died, and that Victoria came here with the same plan, which is funny because pretty much everything else is different."

I knew by the way he watched me that he was listening. I paced a little as I talked, and he followed me closely with his eyes. I couldn't help it.

"Last time, after that baseball game with Bella, everything went wrong from there."

"Sorry." He said, finally stopping me, "Who is Bella?"

"Bella is Edward's girlfriend." I replied simply, "But she's human, so James wanted to kill her."

"Human?" He asked, surprised.

"It's weird, I know, but.." I paused as I tried to back onto my previous subject, "Anyway-"

"Human?" He pressed, and I looked over, falling silent.

"Yeah," I replied, "I mean, if Jasper's right and they all left, they wouldn't bring her along, so who knows what's happening there?" I shrugged a little as he finally looked away. I took a breath and went on when I was sure he wasn't going to interrupt me again, "Last time, it was James hunting Bella that got him killed, and somehow, you wound up in Alaska with the Denalis. Cousins of Carlisle's. This time, it was me hunting Jack that got him killed."

"No," Laurent said, "It was a choice of your coven that killed James. It was their decision to fight, rather than simply letting you fight alone that killed him. In our eyes, that is unforgivable."

"Look at me." I found myself responding to his obvious blame, "Would you let me fight alone? Against someone like Jack, knowing what my past with him was? They knew what it meant to me to not let him get away. They knew what he did to me. They didn't want a fight, but they didn't want me to get hurt even more, so.. If you're gonna blame anybody, blame me. I am the reason why James got killed."

The way he fell silent, studying me told me he was processing exactly what I said.

"Why?" He finally frowned, "Why are you so willing to take their punishment after what they did to you?"

"I wonder the same thing sometimes." I admitted, "I guess it's because I remember them a lot better than they remember me. I know how good they are."

Again, he fell quiet, so I sighed and turned away.

Jack and Victoria were gone for quite awhile. Long enough for a recurring worry to cross my mind. I hadn't hunted in a few days, and I was deeply regretting that now with lingering so long so close to where humans lived. I had a lot of will power, but that only went so far. Far enough to keep me from running at them, but not far enough to keep me from suffering.

When that worry had a chance to cross my mind, it usually not only stayed there, but it got worse until I took care of it or hunted. I'd always been that way. The problem I faced now was deciding what to hunt. I didn't see the point in choosing animals again, but part of me just couldn't give up on everything I'd done to resist the last few months. Though I debated.

It should have been an easy decision, a no-brainer, but it really wasn't. I doubted anyone would stop me from hunting animals. As far as I knew, I was still free to come and go like Victoria said, so that wasn't an issue. I just saw too many good points in hunting humans.

I needed the strength any time I was around Jack. I didn't trust my current strength against his, and I'd just be protecting myself.

My family already hated me. What was the point in resisting anymore anyway?

It was just one person. One person in a city of people who go missing every day. I would choose carefully, so it wasn't that I'd just be picking people off randomly.

With a deep breath and a sigh, I lowered my head. Closing my eyes, doing what I could to ignore the constantly intensifying burning ache in my throat. I stayed that way for probably a solid hour. My thoughts revolving closer around the nagging scent that didn't stop no matter how long I held my breath.

"What's her fucking problem?" I looked back up at Jack's return, but as soon as I looked at him, his small curious frown turned into a smug smirk. He chuckled, "Ah."

I knew what he saw, so that wasn't a major mystery. The way my vision had gone slightly sharper than usual told me my eyes had finally gone the tell-tale flat black color, announcing my condition to everyone who saw me. Victoria beside him only watched me briefly before Laurent was moving forward.

"A word?" He requested, and she nodded briefly.

I looked up at Jack slowly pacing toward me as the two of them walked away. It was the weirdest thing not fleeing at his approach, but I was worried that if I moved, there was only one direction I would go. I was literally afraid to move, not trusting that fierce will-power anymore.

"Would Laurent not let you hunt?" He asked.

"No." I replied, "That's not it."

"Then go hunt, dumbass." He replied. That confused me a little. He wanted me to hunt? He knew full well I'd only be stronger after I hunted. This was very unlike him. Maybe he just didn't like how unpredictable I could potentially be? At any second, I could snap, and I knew that well.

"I can't." I admitted after a moment, "I can't hunt humans." He didn't even reply to that. As soon as I was finished saying that, he rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm. In my surprise, I moved to bite him but his other hand snapped out, clamping almost too tightly over my mouth. Just the size of his hand compared to my face told me he would always be stronger than me, no matter what I hunted.

"I've been too nice to you." He growled, pushing me roughly back against the darkest side of the building, but he followed. Keeping his hand in place, his other hand gripped my neck.

With a growl, I reached up and gripped onto his wrist. As strong as I still was, I could still hurt him, but I couldn't actually damage him. At least not with my hands. That was such a familiar scenario, I never actually questioned it.

"Try to bite me one more time, bitch, and I'll knock every single one of those fucking teeth out of your head." His tone was a sobering one. I stared up at him, swallowing in fear but refusing to let that show. It was an odd mix of emotion. Fear and anger. My instinct was to fear him, but being angry at him only fed into that.

When I made no move to bite him again, he released me. I hadn't even realized I was off my feet until he dropped me and I landed back on my feet.

"Now don't be fucking stupid." He went on before I could speak, "Forget whatever fucking animal bullshit that family has been filling your head with, and go hunt what we're _made_ to hunt. Stop being so goddamn pathetic."

 _This_ was the Jack I remembered. I wasn't sure what brought him out, but oddly, I felt better. Comforted. I knew what to expect with him now.

So I hunted. In a way, it was relieving not having to make my own choice. He followed me, but I never asked why. I felt him watching my every move as I kept watch on the humans below us, but he never rushed me. I was doing what he said, just being careful doing it.

I was in too much of a hurry to take too long in choosing. I would be lying if part of me wasn't happy about this development.

I eventually settled on someone, an unpleasant sort of person given the way he shouted at his wife in the middle of the street. It was easy to decide that nobody would miss him.

"I wouldn't." Jack offered his advice when he realized I was focused on him.

"Why?" I snapped, looking back at him.

"Breathe in his scent." He replied sharply, "You fucking tell me." He was right. I hadn't been breathing yet, just to keep my head long enough to be picky.

I carefully breathed in, focusing on this man's scent, and I realized what he was talking about. How had I never come across this problem before?

The man shouting at his wife was drunk as hell. The smell tainted the scent of his blood, deterring me easily. It was an easy decision to pass that up.

"Thanks." I muttered, looking over at him.

"Fucking rookie." He replied, "Come on." He led me away from the area. He led me further downtown, away from the residential areas and more toward the businesses lining the streets.

It was early evening, meaning a lot of those businesses were closing up. We followed a few people, until Jack grew impatient.

"Him." He pointed to one man walking toward a darker street, "Go." It really should have bothered me how I didn't hesitate. He gave me a little shove, and I was off. That was all it took to undo months of work. One little shove in the wrong direction.

I followed this man, staying behind until the right time, but when that time came, I was committed. I took him down without a thought.

It was as easy as breathing to take his life like it meant nothing. Something in my mind clicked, and it just made sense to kill him. I didn't even feel guilty about it while I was swallowing his blood as fast as I could.

When it was over, I couldn't help feeling like I'd just lost a part of myself. Especially when I realized that I needed more. I was far from satisfied after going so long without human blood. Denying myself what I needed, only to end up here anyway.

I got mad at that thought. I'd tried _so_ hard to be the best I could be, but _all_ of that didn't matter. Not to Jasper, and apparently, not to anyone. All that suffering and effort was for nothing in the end. They just _let_ him chase me off. Of course, it was probably my overactive mind talking, but I felt so hurt. So sad and angry at the fact that nobody came with us to stop him that night.

I hunted three humans that night. Two for their blood, and the third being that drunk man I'd seen first. I went back and took my anger out on him, much to Jack's amusement as he watched me.

I felt a little better as we returned to the same spot we left, but oddly, I also felt worse. Physically, I was ecstatic. Mentally, however, I felt confused. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to feel like crap, because that's what I'd been telling myself.

"That's more like it." Jack told me as soon as we stopped. I glanced up at him, but didn't bother replying. I had a lot of emotions and thoughts to sort through. Had I known giving in and hunting humans would have made me feel this conflicted, I wouldn't have done it.

Though it did feel good to be stronger than I was before, was it really worth it? The anger and pain I felt now was so hard to shake off.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked, watching as I paced off.

"Something doesn't feel right." I admitted quietly, slowly crouching in a corner further in the dark. Just for my own comfort, knowing nobody could come up behind me. I felt oddly defensive.

"You'll be fine." He waved it off, "That's just the stink of the fucking humanity dying in you."

"Maybe." I mumbled, only half listening. I just needed to stop this, but I was deeply conflicted. Was the extra strength really worth losing that part of me? It went against everything I'd tried for the last several months, but then again, what good had humans ever brought me? Honestly. Why should I have to change the course of my nature for people that had done nothing to help me in the first place?

"Why are you here?" I had to ask. I needed to change the subject that my mind was stuck on.

"Because none of your fucking business." He replied, his tone bored.

"You don't need her." I added, "You do just fine on your own."

He didn't reply to that one, but refused to look at me. Honestly, I wasn't sure what I was seeing in him right then. I studied him.

"You know, last time, you never knew her." I spoke up again, and for a second, I thought he was grateful that I didn't keep pushing.

"Yeah?" He asked, still bored.

"Yeah." I said, "That's how I know you're fine without her."

Once again, he fell quiet. The silence was almost too much, so I decided to keep talking. I needed to keep talking. The silence left me no choice but to think, but while I was talking, it forced my thoughts in a single direction. Even if that direction wasn't the best one.

I looked down, "All I want is my family, Jack. That's all I ever wanted, but I guess that means more to me than to you, huh?" He stayed quiet, so I went on, "But right now, I'm just so tired. _So_ tired of waking up every day, knowing it's all been taken away from me. This time I didn't even have to wake up for everything to be taken away from me."

I hadn't the slightest clue why I was confessing all of this to him, but he wasn't stopping me, so I took that to mean he was listening. I had no doubts that me saying all this was going to come back to bite me, but right then, that was what I wanted.

"Maybe that's why I'm not mad at you." I mumbled, keeping my eyes down, "Because I get why you're so mad all the time. I think I get why you hate me so much. I think I can feel it too now."

I knew without looking up that he was still listening. He was watching me.

"So.." I said quietly, "If you're right, and you really can't fix them, then.. I still promise I'll do whatever you want, but you have to promise to kill me after that." I closed my eyes at his sharp intake of breath.

"What the fuck?" He asked, obviously surprised by the turn I had taken.

"I won't stop you." I kept my eyes closed, "I never asked for this. I never even wanted this. _All_ I wanted was for things to be okay, but.. I couldn't even do that right. I just wanna be done with it, Jack. I just wanna be done. I'm _so_ tired.." I trailed off, shaking my bowed head a little.

I knew full well I was speaking the truth. I didn't even bother denying that to myself. I didn't fight it. I truly was just done. I felt now that I was ready to just beg him to end it. I was ready.

Hunting these humans really did more to me than I thought before. It was a good, solid sign that no matter what I did, I would never have anything I ever truly loved again. It was a sign to myself that no matter how hard I tried, I'd never have my family back. A signal that I was giving up, but I had a way out, and Jack was it.

"Please." I whimpered, looking up at him standing several feet away, "Please promise me."

"I'm not promising shit." He actually snapped, and I sighed, "Get the fuck over it. God, you're so pathetic, it's sad."

This time, I was the one not bothering to answer. I had a feeling that that would be his response. Why would he help me if he wasn't getting anything in return? Maybe seeing me this way was everything he wanted, and now that he was getting it, why end that?

"We going or not?" He asked, and I looked up. It was a perfectly rational question, yet I was surprised he would offer. I'd been thinking that being dragged back here meant that the search was over at least for another day, yet apparently I was wrong.

"Yeah." I said, unable to completely hide my surprise, "Yeah. We can go. Victoria is gonna let you?"

"Let me?" He scoffed, "You think I need that bitch's permission? I agreed to help her with something because she helped me. That's it. I owed her, but now we're even." That explained it. If Jack was known for one thing, it was keeping his word.

"So she wasn't bossing you around?" Slowly, I stood up.

"Fuck no." He replied, "When have you ever seen anyone get away with bossing me around?" He did have a point. I couldn't help smiling a little. It was pretty relieving to have just one thing the same as I always remembered.

"Now can we get the fuck out of here?" He asked impatiently, "The sooner we get this shit out of the way, the sooner I can collect."

Instead of answering, I started off in a quick run. Thankfully, I heard him immediately start after me, so I knew he wasn't running off.

I faced a problem, though. I had _just_ hunted. I'd gone against everything I'd fought for since I first woke up, just turned my back on it all. Then again, I didn't really expect things to be the way I wanted them to be. I knew better than that.

I had to give it all I had this time, though. More than my own life, because I'd already given that. Now that I had Jack intent on me again by promising whatever it took to get it that way, I could confidently find them, fix them, and leave them. I _had_ to make it right. It was the only purpose I still had.

 **A/N: I knoooow. Please don't hate me! I promise I tried to get this out to you as soon as I could. Also, I know it's shorter than my last two, but there's a reason for that. Also also, I apologize if this seems a bit choppy. I really am trying, guys.  
THANK YOU to those AMAZING people that chose to leave their reviews! I owe you guys more than you know, and definitely more than waiting freaking weeks between updates because I'm a failure.  
Chapter four will be along soon! I have some major plans for this next one. Let's hope it gets out to you in a reasonable time! :D  
Until Four, my friends!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I had to admit. I was curious.

I knew our plan was important, but it also meant a lot to me to find out whether or not Shannon and the others actually were on their way to Colorado. Now that we were actually free to leave, I wanted to go look for myself.

Weirdly, he didn't complain when I veered off course. He just followed. This time, instead of stopping in Utah, I kept going. Further south than I'd ever been. The woods gave way to the barer, rockier area. The clouds faded away behind us, revealing clearer late evening skies. The air became lighter, less damp.

I didn't pick up their scent at all during this run, but I wasn't surprised. If they had Reese with them the whole time, that wasn't shocking.

But how was I supposed to know where this place was without some kind of scent to follow? She never told me right where it was. Just that I'd know.

Maybe they hadn't actually left like they said they would?

I was about to give up and change my mind when I did catch one of the Tacoma coven's scents. I recognized it as Nicole, one of the three older members, the scout. I'd met her once, and and every other time, she was out and about. Keeping track of the area.

Her job was just as important as anyone else's, but the one time I did meet her, she seemed like a real flighty thing. Very shy, but not in the good way. More like the nervous way. Intimidating way.

I really wasn't sure what it was. Though I feared her, I didn't mind being around her. It was familiar, almost, to the way I usually felt around Jack.

I followed her scent further into the less populated areas, Jack staying right behind me. He was almost like a tail at this point. I was just starting to appreciate his silence when he spoke up.

"This isn't New York." He barked, and at first, I ignored him. I ignored him until he grabbed my arm. Slowing us both to a stop.

"What?" I demanded, jerking my arm free.

"Where the fuck are you going?" He demanded right back, "I'm not sure how bad you fucking suck at reading a map-"

"I _know_ this isn't New York." I snapped, "I came here for a reason."

Before he could reply, though, the scent we'd been following started our direction. As it neared, Jack looked at me and glared.

"I know her." I assured him without looking at him, "Well, she knows me." There was a huge difference between the two.

Before she got there, though, her scent changed ever so slightly. It was so subtle, I wasn't sure at first. Her scent got deeper, but lighter at the same time. Like she was with someone, but it was only her approaching.

It confused me, making my sense of hearing and sense of smell argue for a second and I didn't like that.

"What?" Jack asked, and I realized my expression must have given away my sense of unease.

"Shh." I hissed at him, studying the direction of Nicole's approach. He sighed loudly, annoyed, but he didn't say anything else.

Seconds later, Nicole stood there, studying me in much the same way I studied her. To my nervousness, I could swear she was looking at me like she'd never seen me before. I had felt this way before.

Like she didn't know me. Like two stranger cats who'd just crossed paths. One clearly more intimidated than the other. It really reminded me of the way Jasper always looked at me.

What the hell was wrong with _her_? Jack had never seen her before, so it couldn't have been that.

"Nicole?" I spoke first, hoping she would at least recognize my voice. This was very unsettling.

"Who are you?" She demanded right back, and having it confirmed like that just made it worse.

"You know me, remember?" I asked, and for a moment, she paused.

Subtly, her scent changed again. For half of a split second, less time than it took to blink, I caught it. The scent buried, hidden under hers.

I knew that scent, though I'd never actually smelled it before.

This wasn't Nicole. I must have looked so stupid, standing there in such a tense moment as a smile spread across my face. This realization would probably seem pretty strange to who stood in front of me, having taken the appearance of someone else.

"Eli." I couldn't help smiling. It wasn't a question because I knew I was right, and I was sure it threw him off. Given the way his expression changed dramatically, forming surprise that his cover had been blown.

Someone he'd never met saying his name despite his best efforts to be someone else was enough to make him drop the act.

It startled Jack beside me, as I knew he wasn't expecting it, and I almost laughed at his reaction. I would have, had I not been so happy to see Eli. It was such a sight for sore eyes. Someone from my most recent visions.

His blonde hair was just the same as I always remembered it, his round, crimson eyes comforting in their familiarity. I'd been much older when I'd seen him last, so he seemed bigger to me than I was used to seeing him.

"Who are you?" He asked again, this time his tone reflected his surprise.

I went to answer, but I cut myself off. Remembering something crucial.

The Tacoma kids were coming here. They'd obviously never crossed paths at any point before, because they'd always been perfectly comfortable in Tacoma, and had never come this way so early into the Seattle plan. That, and Eli was always alone when Jack found him. Eli was Shannon's age. He'd be a perfect candidate for their group.

I had to start somewhere, though.

"Where did you get that appearance?" I asked, and he hesitated.

"She was here earlier." He eventually answered, his gaze glancing toward Jack, "I saw her, but she didn't see me. Who are you?"

"You don't know me." Clearly.

"But you know me?" He frowned.

"It's.." I hesitated a second, "A gift of mine." He seemed surprised again, but less cautious. I spoke again before I could lose that, "I'm Leandra. This is Jack."

He glanced at Jack again, clearly feeling his natural intimidation. I couldn't help hating that sight, even if Eli was always sort of immune to Jack's gift.

"Just.." I brought Eli's attention back to me, "There are others. More coming here tonight. Like me. My age, I mean."

"More kids?" He asked, and I nodded a little. Ignoring Jack as he looked down at me. I knew we would have to leave before they would even think about showing up. I knew once they caught on to Eli, they would take it from there.

"Meet them." I urged, "They're all just looking for a safe place."

He seemed skeptical.

"I'm a nomad." He replied simply.

"Just trust me, okay?" I argued quietly. Of course, I was thinking about Reese. I couldn't help it, remembering her reaction the day I mentioned Eli's name.

It was an awkward thirty minute wait, but sure enough, I listened as a handful of others headed our way. Before I could even say anything to prepare him, the smallest, cutest voice I'd ever heard startled me into turning sharply, the other two of us standing there doing the same.

"Eli!" Reese literally came running out of nowhere, running full force toward Eli standing across from us. My jaw dropped the second I realized that that shout had come from her.

Shannon suddenly stopped to my other side, pure astonishment across her features as she heard Reese actually speak for the first time. At a complete stranger, nonetheless.

Eli seemed just as shocked as both Shannon and I were.

"What the fuck is this?" Jack finally barked, "Sesame Street?"

I realized what he meant as I just then looked back. Gage stood back, along with Brett, the twins and Mary.

The others must have stayed back. Technically, though, Jack was the first adult connected to me they'd ever seen. They stayed back. None of them daring to move forward, despite the momentous occasion.

My attention was back on Eli. Only enough time had passed to see Reese reach him, instantly attaching herself to him with enough force to nearly knock him over.

"She spoke." Shannon stated the obvious, but I truly couldn't blame her for being shocked beyond words.

"Wait, wait, wait." Eli ignored us, struggling back enough to look down at Reese. I watched in silence as he studied her face. She beamed up at him with a smile holding nothing back. A smile I'd never seen before.

He seemed breathless now, "Brianna?"

I wasn't sure how it happened, but her smile got even brighter. Forcing forward and hugging him again. This time he returned it. Actually dropping down to hug her as well. He actually seemed sad at seeing her, and I knew exactly why. I couldn't imagine how hard it had to be to know someone you knew was turned so young.

"What?" Shannon asked, breathless as well.

"She's my youngest cousin." Eli thought to explain, and I smiled, "Brianna."

"Where were you?" Reese, now Brianna, looked at him. I was just as shocked at hearing her speak now as I was moments ago. Shannon and the others just stared.

Brianna's question hadn't been accusing at all. More curious.

"What happened to you?" He asked, looking her over.

She whimpered, her smile instantly fading. Whatever her story was, she wasn't about to talk about it, but she obviously remembered it.

"Okay." Eli read her expression with sadness of his own, hugging her again. She clung to him this time, but he didn't seem to mind that.

"Who are you?" Gage asked, staying back.

"This is Eli." I answered before he could, "He's an old friend of mine." Eli looked over at me, but just smiled. I could easily read the gratitude in his eyes. Though I smiled at him in return, that smile faded as he looked back down at Brianna.

I'd just brought them back together when who knew how long they'd been apart. It did feel good to do that for them, but once again, it made me feel pretty sad as well. I'd given something to them that I would probably never have myself.

I looked over at Shannon.

"He's a good kid." I assured her, "I think she wants him to stay."

"He's in good hands." She replied, giving me a small nod, "We had no idea he was out here."

"I didn't either." I admitted, "I'm glad I found him, though."

"Did you find Carlisle yet?" She asked almost hesitantly. Sadly, I looked down.

"No." I murmured, "They could be anywhere."

Her expression was just as sad as mine was as I looked back up at her. I knew exactly what she wanted to say, but probably for my benefit, she didn't say it. She was going to tell me to stay, but I just couldn't. I didn't have the closure I needed yet.

"Leandra?" Gage took my attention, but his glare was on Jack watching them with a smirk. I didn't see Brett anymore, but I assumed he was still around here somewhere.

"Don't worry about him." I replied, "We're going." The last thing I needed was for Jack to find entertainment in tormenting them.

Beside me, I knew Shannon was about to protest, but Eli spoke up instead.

"Thank you." He said, and I looked back at him, "Really."

"I'm sure the others will fill you in." I replied with a small smile, "Be patient with her, okay? She's been through a lot."

"Don't worry about that." He agreed easily, "She'll never be alone again." That made me really happy to hear. I knew Eli. I knew he would never lose her again.

"We'll keep watch." Shannon told me and I nodded a little, "If we see anyone, we'll send them your way. Good luck, Leandra." I appreciated that.

Thankfully, Jack followed me when I started off. It meant my promise of whatever it took was more entertaining to him than bothering the others. I felt confident that Eli really was in good hands now. It meant he wouldn't be joining the coven north that would have eventually found Jack. Eli would have an easier life, and with finding Brianna, I knew he would stick around because he had a tie to them now.

"I take it those brats are the reason you flipped out in Tacoma?" Jack asked, and I looked over.

What he said wasn't even that bad, but I was already having such a hard time controlling my emotions, I had to stop.

"You don't get it, do you?" I snapped in return, watching as he stopped as well.

"No." He scoffed, "Fucking _obviously_."

"Those _brats_ are all I have left." I pointed out, and he sighed hard, rolling his eyes.

"For fuck's sake." He grumbled, "Here we go."

Very briefly, thoughts of hitting him crawled through my mind, but I easily recalled his stance against that, and I shook those thoughts off. Attacking him in any way wasn't smart. I knew better.

"This would be a lot easier if you didn't talk." I finally muttered bitterly, "I still hate you."

"Good." He replied easily, "You're gonna hate me a lot more before I'm done with you." Great.

I sighed next, "I'm not afraid of you. I'm too tired to be afraid anymore, so whatever you say isn't gonna scare me." He chuckled, and I looked down. I was _so_ glad I could amuse him.

"Really." I insisted, shutting him up, "I already know that trying to scare me is what you live for, but it's not gonna work. What's the worst you could do? Kill me? That's what I want. I'm not afraid."

He didn't laugh this time. He still smiled, but his eyes narrowed, so I took that as a sign that I had made my point. With a shake of my head, I stepped passed him. Intending to keep going, but he caught me easily.

His hand around my arm made me freeze mid-step, looking up at him. I still knew better than to attack him, but my temper flared.

"What?" I snapped, "What're you gonna do? I already lost everything. I don't _care_ anymore!"

"Do you really think that killing you is the worst I could do to you?" He asked, his flat tone quiet, "What have I always told you?"

I really didn't want to think about that, so after a second or two, I looked away. He knew as well as I did that killing me was the _kindest_ thing he could do. Killing me would end my misery. The worst thing he could do was probably already on his mind, but the worst part was not knowing whether or not he would follow up.

"You better watch that fucking mouth of yours." He growled almost silently, "I've already let _so_ much slide, but I'm getting fucking sick of it."

I kept my gaze away from his, a sure sign he was intimidating me. I always did the same thing with Jasper and especially Rosalie. I knew Jack knew that as well, but it was different now.

I said I wasn't scared, and I'd meant that, but with Jack, intimidation and fear didn't mean the same thing. I'd never felt quite like this before, and I didn't know how to even begin to describe the emotions I felt right then.

I felt like crying, and I was _so_ angry, but a slight bit of fear tinged the intimidation, turning it into something else. He made me nervous, but in a more calm way. I _knew_ I could get free from his grip, but I didn't. His control of me made me stay there.

I hated being confused. He was waiting, though, so I answered the only way I really could. I gave a small, tense nod, and instantly, he released me.

I continued to stand there, and he continued to watch me, but I was too busy thinking to care much. Jack could hurt me so easily, but he didn't. Maybe that was the reason behind this emotion? I'd never felt this way with Jasper. Before all this blew up, back when he was still trying.

With a sinking stomach, it occurred to me. The realization was enough to have me look back up at Jack. His stony, even gaze was enough to have me looking away again, despite my revelation.

Jack was training me.

Whether he realized it or not, that's what he was doing, and since I had no idea before, it was working.

It only made sense that he's the one that could get through to me, but it also startled me. How had this happened? When? And why so easily? It made more sense, giving me the explanation to the questions I didn't know I had.

Why I was so relieved that he followed me.

Why it was so easy before to turn my back on everything I knew about hunting. Why it was so easy to hunt those humans.

Why I didn't keep trying to tear his fucking head off. Why I let him threaten me. Why I tolerated him. Why, despite the painfully obvious strength difference, I wasn't afraid.

 _How_?

I thought back, striding away from Jack. Using my endless subconscious to go through all the details of the events of my time with Jack so far.

It started that first night. The first time I saw him again, and the way we watched each other. In that moment, my instincts had started the investigating. My instincts honestly didn't care who he was to me. They had seen something in him that switched open that normally closed part of my mind that would begin to accept his training.

Victoria posed a threat to me. Whether I consciously acknowledged it or not, my newly opened set of instincts picked up on that, and they focused on Jack and his reactions at the same time. For the most part, he was there.

He came with me to my family's home. That was the first time his correction had stopped me, telling me not to run when Jasper arrived, and my instincts stopped me.

I should have seen it then!

He protected me, giving my instincts time to build the smallest of foundations of trust in him. Those were the strange emotions! I wasn't thinking to the fullest of my ability, letting my guard down after the last involvement with Victoria.

After his brief hunting trip, talking to him. There were so many things that now made sense. This explained everything.

"What?" Jack finally barked, seconds after I'd started pacing in thought.

"Hold on." I mumbled, still thinking.

Those instincts were already set in stone. How I felt about it didn't make a difference now. It might have at the start, if I had paid attention to what was going on, but I'd been so desperate to fix everything, I didn't notice it happening to me.

That left one nagging question.

How was he able to get to those instincts so easily when nobody else really could? This wasn't like the bond I'd had with Esme or Carlisle. They had done their best to teach me, but neither of them ever really 'trained' me.

If I was supposed to be super difficult and even more rare, how was Jack able to reach those instincts so easily?

Was that part of his gift? Is that how it worked? He reached the deepest, most basic and most fragile part of the instincts in a person and gave those a little nudge, sending the rest into a small but distinct chain reaction.

I was so new, so I didn't require that much effort. Especially considering I'd never actually built a training bond with anyone yet.

Of course this was all speculation. For all I knew, all of this could also be explained by the fact that I'd just been almost violently abandoned, and I could be so desperate for companionship, I would take the first person worthy.

When I looked back at Jack, my gaze both accusing and confused, he frowned.

" _What_?" He demanded, so I closed my eyes and shook my head. I was so torn.

I would really have to watch myself. I wouldn't say anything yet. I would have to wait and see which of the three possibilities it was. The effects of his actions on my instincts, his gift, or my abandonment. Two of the three were my fault, so in a way, I hoped I could blame all this on his gift.

"Nothing." I mumbled, shaking my head again.

"Where the fuck are we, anyway?" I had a feeling he just wanted me to stop being so weird, so I allowed the distraction. He meant where had we stopped.

Given the sounds and smells, there was at least four cows around here somewhere. It was pitch dark, almost no illumination.

"A field?" I muttered, and he sighed.

"No shit." He replied, "Smart ass. Where is this fucking field located?" We hadn't gotten far from Colorado, so I shrugged.

"Nebraska?" I said, looking around myself, "Maybe Iowa? Why?"

"Shouldn't you be looking for these assholes?" He asked, and I looked down.

"They could be anywhere." I admitted, "New York is the only place I know to check. Without a scent, I don't know how to track someone."

"How many are there?" He asked.

"Altogether," I answered, "Seven, but that's if they are all together."

He sighed hard, "If it was a scent you wanted to track, you would have to start back at that fucking house, but _seven_?"

"We'll just go to New York." I shook my head, "It's the best place to start. They have a house there."

"Well, fuck." He said, "Why didn't you fucking say so?"

I had no idea. I realized he must have been thinking I just randomly chose New York.

It didn't take us long to get there when there were no distractions. I had to admit I was stalling because I was scared. I didn't want to get there only to find what I found.

They hadn't been here.

The Ithaca house was dark, locked up tight, not a scent around. It was so depressing, seeing the house taken care of, but as abandoned as I was.

A few leaves scattered across the front lawn, the grass still green but crisp. Stiff. The top floor balcony dark and cold, the doors that had led to my room silent and still.

I turned with a sigh, looking around us in the dark.

"Well this is fucking perfect." Jack grumbled, "Now what, genius?"

"I don't know." I whimpered, hating the fact that my voice reflected how lost I was. Other than this house, I didn't know if they had more.

At this point, I would have given anything to find Carlisle and Esme. Even if it was just for confirmation of everything Jasper had said. I needed that closure, and every second I went without it was more agonizing than the last.

Defeated, I sat down on the front lawn, just inside the wall surrounding the front yard. An action I didn't need to do, but one that made me feel better.

With an irritated sigh, Jack looked around us.

"We wait?" I offered, hoping that would be a good enough answer.

"I'm not sitting around on my ass waiting for these people." He snapped, "I agreed to fucking help you, but I'm not going looking for them. You either find them, or that's it. If you want this so bad, you're gonna have to be the one that gets it done. I'm not holding your fucking hand through all this."

"I don't know where to look!" I couldn't help snapping back up at him, "You're so good at finding people. I'm not."

"First of all," He replied sharply, "Get the fuck up. You're not gonna fucking find them sitting on your ass either."

"Don't you listen?" I asked just as sharply, "I said I _don't_ know where else to look!"

"Well, they're not down there, that's for damn sure."

"Just give me a second!" I had yet to shout at him this loudly, and naturally, he reacted. Reaching for me, he meant to grab a hold of my neck, but I ducked away this time.

I moved to spin away, but he had reached out with his other hand immediately, and caught a hold of my hair. He forced me down onto my knees, slamming me forward, face down against the grass as he crouched beside me. My knees were tucked under me.

His hand was solid against the back of my head, but it got worse as he moved, straddling my back. In such an awkward position, I'd already proven to be useless. I fought, but he had the upper hand. Quite literally. He leaned down, over me so he could speak right into my ear.

"Is this better?"

"No." I gasped and growled at the same time.

"I'm getting real fucking tired of that attitude." He growled in return, "How many fucking times do I have to tell you? Don't fucking talk to me like that. _Ever_."

"Get off me!" I snarled against the ground. I was far from calm, and I knew I was just making this worse for myself, but I couldn't help it. The longer I felt his weight on me, the harder it got to contain my panic. Especially with knowing he was actually training me. Just like Jasper had always tried to do, but now that I was aware of it, I was fighting it. Just like I always did with Jasper.

I worried though. There were always boundaries Jasper wouldn't cross. Jack wasn't like him. Jack wouldn't be against damaging me to get his point across. That made a massive difference.

To prove his point, he shoved me harder against the ground. The front lawn giving way under the side of my face. I growled in response, clenching my teeth.

"I _said_ ," He growled also, "Don't fucking talk to me like that." I had no other option. As strong as I was, Jack wasn't budging. This was the reason the youngest immortals were so flighty. Practically anyone could overpower us with ease, so we had to protect ourselves somehow, and being so fast was the only way.

But being fast didn't help me now.

"Okay." I mumbled into the ground, "I'm sorry."

I half expected him to get off of me, but he stayed.

"I'm sorry." I tried again, this time more sincere, but again, he didn't move. The fact that he didn't even answer me made me nervous. I knew he was thinking, and the longer he stayed there, the longer he had to entertain these thoughts.

I gave one last try, and thankfully, he released me as I clawed my way out from under him with a small growl.

"Watch the tone." He told me firmly, "This is the last fucking time I'm gonna tell you. I won't be so nice next time." I nodded. I believed him. I'd managed to get away unscathed this time, but I now knew better than to try again.

"You always were a hardheaded brat." He grumbled, standing up, but I stayed quiet. The reminder sent my thoughts in a far more depressing direction.

"Do you think mom knows?" I asked quietly, "About us, I mean."

"Who fucking cares?" He asked, "She's my next project."

"What?" I frowned.

"You really think I forgot about that bitch?" He scoffed, "She asked for this shit."

"All she wants is to be left alone." I looked down at my hands as I sat upright, "Why can't you just leave her alone?"

"I made her a promise." He replied simply, "She knows exactly what that promise was."

"So do I." I admitted, "She told me once."

"How?" He asked, "She-"

"Vision." I answered, cutting him off, "She said you made her into what she was that whole time. That if she ever left you, you'd hunt her down and kill her, so she gave up. She only stayed with you because she didn't want to make things worse for me."

"Huh." He huffed, impressed, "Well, that explains why you care about her so damn much all of a sudden."

"I don't blame her anymore." I shrugged a little, "Blaming her for not being strong enough to stand up to you would be like blaming myself for not being strong enough. The only one that needs to be blamed is you."

"And you still didn't want those assholes to kill me?"

"No." I answered, "Just like mom, I just wanted to be left alone. Especially after what your dad was gonna do that night." I shuddered at just the thought, clenching my teeth.

"Yeah." He grumbled, also reminded, "To be fair, I did tell him to leave you the fuck alone."

"Probably." I sighed, "But you should have known he wouldn't listen to you. He never has before." I actually couldn't believe how calm I was being. I had always been defensive about my last night alive.

I also couldn't help but wonder why I wasn't running from him after a correction like that. Every time anyone would get even slightly physical, I'd always run. Now I just sat there like it was the most normal thing in the world.

My thoughts moved on, though. I laughed a little, shaking my head.

"What?" He asked.

"I was here tonight last time, too." I answered, finally looking back up at him, "It's funny how so many things can be different, but things like this stay the same."

"Why were you _here_?" He frowned, looking at the dark house.

"Because of Jasper." I sighed, "It wasn't really his fault, though. We had to leave town because he tried to kill Bella."

"So they dragged you here?"

"Yup." I replied, "But you found me here anyway."

"Not surprised." He said, "There's always a trail."

I fell quiet for a second, before I decided to ask.

"Do you ever get tired of hating so much? Of hurting people?"

"No." He chuckled, finding that amusing, "Why? Should I?"

I shrugged again, "It makes me tired sometimes."

"Get used to it." He replied, turning away. I watched after him as he started to walk away, toward town.

I assumed he was going to hunt.

Immediately, my thoughts moved straight to the one person I nearly hadn't thought about, but I recalled easily the way Jack reacted to me telling him not to hunt in Tacoma. I jumped up, coming to his side.

"Where are you going?" I asked carefully. I didn't want to set off his temper just yet.

"A fucking walk." He replied pointedly, "I don't see you getting up off your ass."

"Okay." I muttered, keeping myself by his side, "No hunting, though?" It was a question, as I knew better than to demand again.

"I don't know yet." I frowned over at me, "What's your fucking problem?"

"It's just.." I hesitated, "Well, we have to stay here for awhile. You can't hunt where you wanna stay. My.. My family taught me that."

"Oh _God_." He rolled his eyes.

"What?" I asked, "It's a good rule."

He yanked me to a stop on the dark street, turning me around to face him. The city lights further off in the distance reflected in his angry eyes as I looked up at him in surprise.

"That's your fucking problem." He told me before I could even wonder, "Fucking _rules_. Do you have any goddamn idea the things you could _do_? The things you could do if you weren't _lied_ to from the very fucking start."

"They said-"

"Fuck what they said. We.." He gestured between us, "We were not made to follow fucking rules."

I watched the way his expression changed with every word. Every little wrinkle around his firm glare. Had I not been watching or listening so closely, I would have mistakenly thought that he was angry by the way he spoke.

He wasn't angry. He was firm, but he wasn't angry.

"I get not wanting to piss Aro off." He went on in my silence, "I get that, but all these fucking _rules_? You were not made to follow any fucking rule. You were not made to hold yourself back, and quite fucking frankly, it's _disgusting_ that you were ever fucking stupid enough to believe you had to."

Honestly, I didn't know what to say to that. His intense gaze, though, intimidated me enough to look away. I was confused. He clearly meant everything he was telling me, and in a way, I could understand what he was saying, but what if he was right? What if there was _more_?

What if I didn't have to worry about every move I made? What if I could just _live_? What then?

"Come on." He growled when I didn't reply. Keeping a grip on my arm and pulling me along the road now.

"Where are we going?" I had a feeling I already knew.

"Hunting." He snapped his answer.

"But I don't need to hunt." I argued, confused.

"Not because you need to." He replied firmly, "Because you fucking _can_." I blinked in surprise. It was such a new concept. Hunting just because I could, rather than waiting until I needed to.

My distraction made me easy to tug along.

It was even easier to get me to hunt this time, to my dismay. Though we only took one, it was starting to make sense what he was saying before.

Maintaining my strength was a lot easier when I didn't wait so long. It felt smoother this time, less urgent. Listening to what my instincts were telling me instead of suppressing them, letting them grow and mature as well felt right. Giving in to my craving instead of putting it off felt more right than anything I'd done yet.

Halfway through the short hunt, however, I spotted a sobering sight. I hadn't realized we'd gotten so close to where Mikah was now, locking up the store he worked at. We were just across the street, hidden by shadows so he had no idea that someone had just lost their life to someone like us.

I watched Mikah as Jack fed behind me. I knew Jack wasn't paying attention to me, but I also didn't care. My eyes locked on Mikah, and I knew then on that we had to be careful. We needed to move further into the city, away from Mikah. It was too risky staying here.

We returned to the house once we were done, as it seemed a really good place to pass time. Jack didn't say anything. He didn't have to. I knew his point, and it seemed like a very valid one.

Weeks passed this way. We did move away from that side of town, finding a better spot just on the outskirts of town. I figured we'd know if the Cullens ever showed up.

Though we didn't talk much, Jack and I stayed there and we established a routine, but after awhile, I began to go back and watch Mikah from afar. I knew full well that with my eyes the color they were, I couldn't let myself talk to him, despite the fact that I missed him so much.

What little I'd talked to him in the past wasn't enough to keep me from desperately wishing I could talk to him again. At least for a little while.

We barely strayed. Sticking to the city, but every time I turned around, I saw something that reminded me of the Cullens or the time I spent here before. Even without Mikah. I did my best to keep it from showing, but those memories did cause me pain.

After awhile, I stopped wondering why the Cullens never tried to find me here. Wherever they were, I was almost positive they'd forgotten about me by now. Although, after hunting as many humans as I had, I doubted they'd care anyway.

It was now the night before Halloween, and I was having a particularly rough night as it was thanks to the memories, but Jack seemed just fine with hiding out tonight.

There was one question I'd been wanting to ask for awhile, but I kept it to myself. Mainly because I didn't want to raise his expectations, but why not? Who cared anymore?

"Where do we go after this?" I finally did ask it, and he looked back at me from where he stood looking over the city. This question told him I was finally ready to let go of my mission. I was finally ready to give up on getting my closure. If the Cullens had given up on finding me that easily, I had no choice but to give up as well.

"I can't stay here." I admitted from where I crouched.

"Then fucking go." He scoffed, "No one's keeping you here. Took you long enough to give up, though." I hesitated in my reply, surprised at my own expectations. Without even meaning to, I'd already been planning on staying with him. Yeah, he treated me like shit, but..

"Well," I mumbled, "I.." Well, what? I thought to myself.

"What?" He seemed to catch on, "Oh, hell fucking no. Don't tell me.."

"No." I defended myself, standing up, "No, I-I.. I just thought-"

"Pathetic." He grumbled to himself, shaking his head. I did have another place I could go, but that didn't feel much like an option anymore. Realizing that also scared me, because it meant I was learning more from Jack than I'd known before.

I did consider running off on my own after the first week or so of being here without a sign from my family, but I quickly squashed that plan. Staying with Jack was essentially my best option given my set of circumstances. Whether he knew it or not, he was training me and that meant I had to stay. As much as I hated it, he was bonded to me.

I had a few theories about why it happened so quick, but I knew it was probably a mix of all of them. In the silent days and nights we'd spent just thinking, I had a lot of time to think things over. Unfortunately, Jack had a lot of good points, and that concerned me. I didn't ever want to become like him, but I was having little choice, considering how easily I seemed to agree with him a lot.

Despite hunting almost every day, I couldn't let go of Mikah. I couldn't let that bond go, no matter how hard I tried. I had too many ties to him in my memories alone, and it seemed like no matter what I did to shake them loose, they just held tighter.

My training from Jack couldn't take those from me. I was sure if he knew about it, he could break them, but I refused to tell him. Even if it meant one day potentially saving Mikah's life.

I knew it was pretty damned selfish of me not to want to do everything possible to let him go, but I was working on that.

I let that subject drop as the silence resumed. He wasn't going to push me away, and that was just fine with me. I stayed crouched right where I was, looking out over the city as well.

It was times like this that I wished I could sleep. As much room as I had now in my head, it would have been amazing to shut it off once in awhile. That cavernous echoing of the same few thoughts repeatedly scrawling through my head.

"What did you help Victoria with?" I asked, and though he didn't acknowledge me in any way, I knew he heard me.

I decided against asking again, looking down. He didn't even snap at me, so that meant he was deep in thought. When he got like this, it meant I was in for unending silence and boredom.

With a sigh, I finally ran off. We did split up now and then, so this wasn't a worry of mine. He was always here when I came back, so I knew he wasn't going anywhere. I was glad for that, otherwise I wouldn't be able to check on Mikah.

The night before Halloween was quite chilly, so there weren't many people out. I found it was a lot easier to resist human blood when I had it all the time. Who knew?

I returned to the side of the city I knew so well. Walking along the street was exactly like walking through a memory. Somehow, that was comforting as well. I rounded the corner of Mikah's store, instantly picking up his heartbeat inside before I headed for the back of the building. That little space between the store and the business just next to it.

I scurried up the wall, reaching the roof with ease. I wondered what Mikah would think if he knew I came here often just to listen to his heartbeat. It was therapeutic.

The lights below didn't reach me up here, so I knew I was safe to stay up here as long as I wanted to.

I stayed there, my eyes closed as I focused on keeping my thoughts at bay, until Mikah finally closed the store for the night. I crept closer to the edge of the building, peering down at him as he locked up the door with a tired sigh and started walking toward his house.

I silently jumped over the side, landing with hardly a sound, and I followed him. He never noticed me when I did this, so I felt pretty confident doing it now. I mainly just wanted to be sure he made it home safe. Nothing would ever hurt him while I was around.

Those ties were firm.

I watched from the darker side of the street as he made it inside the house just as his dad drove up. Returning from his job as well, so it wasn't strange. I growled a little when I saw him, knowing that his dad was the reason Mikah was turned last time.

All of this was also before their mother had left, and that made me tense. Knowing what she was like toward her children bothered me so bad, because she was still there, and I wasn't there to convince Alyssa to say something.

I would have to find some way to rid them of her again this time.

I watched his father make his way inside, and I listened to a few half-hearted arguments between Mikah's older brother, Jonathan, and Mikah before I went on my way. Satisfied he was safe for now.

I returned to our usual spot to find Jack still standing there. He hadn't even moved, so I got back into my usual spot, settling in for the night. I would probably go back and check on Mikah again at some point later, but for right then, I wanted to be here.

It was well passed midnight before Jack even moved.

He sighed heavily, turning and looking at me. Pulled from my own thoughts, I looked up at him.

"Did you check?" He asked. Meaning, did I check the house to see if anyone had been there.

"Yeah." I muttered, "Nothing."

"I'm getting fucking sick of sitting around waiting for them." He snapped, and I knew he was in a bad mood.

"I know." I sighed as well, my tone defeated as I looked away, "You don't have to stay. You can go. It was worth a try, I guess."

"I'm not fucking going anywhere until I collect." He replied firmly, and immediately my eyes landed on him again.

"I said I'd do whatever _if_ you helped me." I pointed out, a small defensive growl in my voice, "I never got what I wanted."

He growled, "They better hurry the fuck up."

I didn't say anything to that, looking away again. I knew the tension was rising with him, and I was honestly not sure how much longer he would wait. I closed my eyes as he stepped forward.

"For your sake." He finished before he walked away. I wouldn't follow him. I instinctively knew that he needed space, so following him right then would have been stupid.

Instead, I just looked back out over the city.

As much as I wanted to just leave this place and never look back, I couldn't. I wasn't ready to leave Mikah behind yet. He was all I had left of my life before. Besides Jack. Mikah was the light in the constant darkness I felt. The one positive thing I still had left. Someone who, despite barely knowing me himself, would never turn his back on me.

Maybe I was using my new hunting habits as an excuse to stay away from him. Maybe I was afraid of what he'd think. Maybe I was afraid to find that he was different too. From afar, I could still believe he was the same as I always knew him.

I wanted to keep him, and I was afraid to let him go.

 **A/N: I know this is late, but I won't give excuses lol I just hope it was worth the wait!  
Short A/N today, as it's a pretty busy morning for me.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers of last chapter! I LOVE YOU! Seriously. You have no idea.**  
 **Chapter five won't be long coming out, as it just needs a final go-over, and I can give it to you.**  
 **Until FIVE, my friends! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Memories brought me back to the corner store the following evening.

I really couldn't help it. Jack was out for a hunt, but I just couldn't stomach hunting tonight. I wanted so badly to go into that store, but I couldn't. The last thing I wanted was to scare him. After all, someone like me wasn't seen every day.

Although, I thought twice. Maybe today was the one day I could get away with seeing him like this. He would think my appearance was some sort of costume, and he wouldn't think twice.

For the first time in weeks, I had hope. Of course I waited until the timing was right daylight wise. I waited until the store was empty.

It was stupid, _so_ stupid, but I walked in.

The door jingled, announcing my presence, and he looked up. The second he looked at me, it was like breathing.

"Oh, hey." He remembered me, given his smile. I knew he would, as I wasn't someone easily forgotten, but he'd never seen me so clearly before. Of course I did read the initial alarm in his eyes, but that faded just as quickly as it had crossed his features, "Nice costume."

Perfect.

"Thanks." I smiled a little, hesitantly walking in a little further.

"What brings you by?" He asked, "I haven't seen you around." I did sort of disappear after I'd last seen him, but that also meant he'd noticed my absence. What did that tell me?

"I dunno." I replied quietly, looking away. I didn't want to keep eye contact for too long, just in case. I pretended to be interested in some magazines, shrugging a little, "I just thought I'd say hi."

He laughed, and I smiled, "Well, hi. It's nice to see you again, Leandra."

This was going better than I'd hoped.

"Did you ever get that stuff sorted out?" He was referring to what I'd talked to him about. About the pressure my family was putting on me to try and fool Jack. Back before Jack was turned. By me.

"Not really." My smile faded quickly, "I just made it worse."

"Oh?" He asked, interested. He'd picked up on my tone.

"I can't really talk about that." I admitted, looking back over at him.

"Is that why you're here?" He asked, leaning on the counter, "To not talk about it?" He had a point.

"I screwed up." I mumbled after a few moments of thought, "I'm, uh.. Living with someone else now." His expression saddened immediately.

"You don't seem happy." He pointed out, and I looked down.

"It's all I got." I replied simply, "Not much I can do about it, either. They don't want me."

"Now, that.. I doubt." He stood back up, "You don't have to give details, but what happened?"

I shook my head a little, "My.. Brother made it pretty clear he didn't want me around anymore. Nobody has even _tried_ to find me."

I realized my mistake as quickly as the worry crossed his features.

"You ran away again?" He asked hesitantly, "Leandra, how long have you been missing?"

"I'm not missing." I assured him, "They could find me easy if they wanted to, but.. It's been weeks now."

He sighed, pursing his lips. He didn't like that answer.

"Tell me about this person you're living with." He requested, and in my haste to make it better, I actually answered him.

"I know him." I said, "He's helping me."

"I know it might seem like that," He replied gently, "But if he's keeping you away from your family, Leandra, he's not helping you."

"It's not like that." I shook my head, "They don't want me."

"Where do you live?" He asked, calming his tone. No doubt trying to ease me, seeing how defensive I was getting.

"Not around here." I mumbled my answer, hesitant. I hated not being able to tell him everything. I hated not being able to be 100% truthful with him, but I had to be careful.

He sighed deeply, looking away in thought. I could almost see where his thoughts were going. I couldn't blame him, recalling everything I'd said already. I just needed to be more careful about what I said. I had one last detail I could give him.

"He's my stepdad." I almost choked on the word, wanting to throw up. I could see that actually did help, as understanding came to his eyes, "He's helping me."

"I see." He instantly seemed relieved, "I thought this was just some random guy." I forced a laugh.

"No." I said, "I'm not that stupid."

"And this family of yours.." He went on, "You think they don't want you?"

"They took me in." I explained, "But I guess it wasn't for good."

"I see." He nodded a little, "I have an idea. Maybe all of this is just a huge misunderstanding." I looked over at him, dreading what he was getting at, "Maybe I could help somehow."

"You can't." I muttered, but I was already thinking. What if he was right? What if he really could help? I considered that carefully. One phone call and Carlisle would know exactly where I was.

Why the fuck had I not thought of this before? Because calling someone was a human thing. I hadn't been thinking like a human in so long.

"Can I try?" He asked, and I hesitated, "Please?"

"Why do you want to help me so bad?" I had to ask, "You don't know me."

"I don't have to." He replied, "I see a little girl standing here, thinking her own family doesn't want her. I have to prove you wrong because I know you are."

I'd forgotten about this trait of his. He was a fixer. Whether it was just being there for someone, or actually taking action, he felt it was his job to make things right.

"No." I sighed, looking down, "You're wrong. They don't want me." He was about to speak again, but I spoke up instead, "I have to go."

"Aw," He said, "Don't leave. I didn't mean to scare you off."

"It's okay." I replied, "It was really nice to talk to you again." I had to throw that in there. He actually had no idea how much I appreciated it.

"Wait." He called as I started toward the door, and I paused, looking over at him, "Where are you staying?" I hesitated, considering a vague answer to such a direct question.

"I'll be around." With that, I started for the door again, but he moved as well. He rounded the counter, and I froze instantly. Allowing him to jog to my side.

"Leandra," He told me, crouching beside me, "Please. Something isn't right. Let me help you." I read every sincere expression in his gray eyes.

"You don't have to help me." I did my best to be as honest as I could, "I can take care of myself."

"If I let you walk out that door," He replied, "And something happens to you, I'll never forgive myself." I couldn't help smiling a little. He honestly cared about me. That's what I always liked about him. He was such a genuine person, despite his upbringing. I'd never met anyone like him.

"I'll be fine." I managed to say, but he still seemed worried. I needed to fix it. I sighed, glancing around, "I'll, uh.. I'll come back tomorrow to prove it. Is that okay?"

"I would feel better meeting this stepdad of yours." He muttered, and I immediately scoffed.

"You _don't_ want to do that." I said, but I knew that talking bad about him was just making Mikah's whole case. I went on, "He's not.. He doesn't get along with other people that good."

"Why's that?"

I carefully considered my answer before speaking again, "No one really gets him. No one really knows him like I do." He still didn't seem convinced, so I smiled again, "I'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

He seemed reluctant, but he finally sighed and stood back upright.

"Be safe tonight." He told me, and I smiled again.

I left the store, rounding the corner immediately and walked briskly, but kept it slow until I was sure he wasn't watching me.

I desperately needed to get better at this whole lying thing if I was going to see him again. I needed to look more.. Adjusted, calm. Most of all, I needed to look more happy, and less like I wanted nothing more than to throw myself straight into the nearest volcano.

"Where have you been?" Jack asked lazily the second I returned.

"Around." I replied quietly, and oddly, he seemed to accept that. He was definitely distracted. I was surprised when he turned without a word.

"Stay here." Was all he said as he walked away. I didn't ask. I just sighed, looking forward again. I didn't dare hope that I could ever make visiting Mikah a regular thing. I hated to think about what Jack would do if he ever found out about him.

Then there was the small issue of what I was and my diet. Those minor details were ultimately what would put a stop to this.

I had no idea where Jack went, but I stayed there until I was sure Mikah was about to start walking home. There was no sign of Jack anywhere around the store, so I knew it was okay.

I knew full well, as I watched Mikah walk into his house that night, that I was only making it harder on myself by doing this, but right then, all that mattered to me was that he was safe.

I returned to the spot Jack had left me after a quick hunt, and when he wasn't back, I eased. I thought about what I would tell Mikah tomorrow when the "costume" hadn't come off.

I felt like I knew him well enough that I didn't worry too much about it anymore.

Jack was still gone the following evening, having not been back yet, so I went ahead and gave in to the urge to visit the store again.

"Hey." Mikah greeted me, clearly relieved, "Halloween was yesterday."

"I know." I replied, "I like it."

He smiled, shaking his head, but that was all for the questioning.

We talked, and I found I was less guarded today. I also found he still had the ability to guide my thoughts in a much different direction than I was used to. I still held onto his voice, his words like I always had.

I very nearly forgot the time. I found that the only negative aspect to this afternoon was that it went far too quickly for my taste.

"I should go." I finally sighed, looking out at the dark street.

"It's way passed your bedtime." He joked, but I laughed. Probably for a different reason than he did, but it was still nice to laugh. It was nice to _want_ to laugh. It was nice to be light enough, relaxed enough to find it in me to warm up.

He eased the bitterness I didn't know I felt. Talking with him now that he was all I had, however much I knew I shouldn't be doing it, it only reminded me why I couldn't let him go.

I couldn't leave him. It was impossible.

I still saw Mikah almost as another part of me. He still spoke my language, and he still saw things in a way I couldn't. Being understood that way _was_ an addictive thing.

By the time I did manage to force myself to leave, I'd already promised to return the next day. I knew I was getting in over my head. I was more than aware of it, but that didn't do anything to slow my descent.

I began to grow suspicious, however, when I got back to our normal area to find that Jack was still gone. I was only able to be suspicious for a few moments before I did find something odd.

A scent. Not Jack's, none of the Cullens, but a scent. I'd never smelled this scent before. I had to admit, I was curious, and I followed it. That wasn't the smartest thing to do, though, because I could easily tell that this scent was male.

As I carefully trailed this scent further from the city, I did some thinking. What other male vampire was in the area this time in the vision? Thinking about it like that instantly made me know who it was I was following.

It was obvious he knew I was following him, because he led the way to the least populated area.

Just in case I was wrong, I hid the second he stopped. I knew hiding wouldn't do me any good, as he could just find me by my scent, but I needed some sort of fail-safe.

His footsteps were slow as he chose to approach my hiding spot. He was cautious, or maybe he just didn't want to scare me off. I chose then to carefully peek around the edge of the foliage I crouched behind.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I caught sight of Cole the same instant he caught sight of me. His expression shifted violently from curiosity to shock.

"A kid?" He asked almost silently, no doubt talking to himself. Slowly, I stood up. It was my turn to try to avoid scaring him off.

"Sorry." I spoke, just to get his mind working again, "I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to see who you were."

"No," He finally replied, "I'm sorry. I'm just.. Not used to seeing.." He gestured to me, which really wasn't necessary. I knew what he meant.

"Me." I answered for him, carefully stepping forward. Cole was relatively tall, almost as tall as Emmett or Jack, so my height compared to his was nearly comical. Over two feet above me, easily, I had to literally look up to see him.

I had no doubt that he'd noticed this as well.

"I know." I went on, "I'm a kid."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." He sighed, "I'm being quite rude. My name is Cole." I decided I wouldn't fill him in quite yet on the fact that I knew him.

"I'm Leandra." I murmured, taking his offered hand.

"If you don't mind my asking," He started carefully, "What are you doing out here alone?"

"Just following you." I answered as he released my hand gently, "I just got back and smelled your scent, so I wanted to know who you were."

"I assure you, I mean you no harm." He smiled a little, crouching beside me. I appreciated that. It was far more comfortable talking to him like this than when he was standing.

"I know." I replied, and he smiled again, "Just be careful around here, though. My, uh.." I hesitated, looking for the right word, "My friend, I guess? The person I'm with.. He's not like me. I mean, he's not nice."

"Noted." He nodded, "I appreciate the heads up."

"He's gonna act like this is his territory," I went on, "But it's really not." He nodded again.

"You seem bothered by this?"

"I am." I admitted, "But I don't think it matters that much. I just don't want you to get into trouble for being here and for talking to me. I like you."

"Don't worry about me, sweetie." He smiled easily, "I come and go, but I can take care of myself." I nodded a little.

An idea crossed my mind, and I figured what could it hurt to ask?

"Do you know anyone named Carlisle?" I asked quietly, and the recognition I was looking for crossed his features.

"I've heard of him." He replied, "Not a lot of people out here haven't."

"He's out there somewhere." I went on, "Do you think you could keep an eye out for me? I need to know that he knows where I am."

"Are you not able to locate him?"

"No." I replied, "I haven't really been able to look. If you see him, can you please just tell him that I'm in New York? He'll know right where I am. It means a lot to me."

"I will." He nodded, "But, darling, if you need help-"

"No," I shook my head, "No, it's.. It's not like that. I haven't been able to look because I have to stay with my friend. I can't lose track of him." Despite the fact that I had no idea where he was now.

That seemed to clear it up, though.

"Okay." He said, "I will locate Carlisle for you." I trusted him, so his promise made me smile.

"Thank you." I replied sincerely, and he gave me a smile and a polite nod.

We chatted for a little while longer before he went on his way. I warned him not to tell anyone named Jasper where I was. It was important that Carlisle knew first. I had my suspicions, so I needed to make that clear.

I returned to the usual spot, and settled in. I was only there about two hours when Jack finally returned.

Either Cole's scent had faded enough for him not to notice, or he just wasn't paying attention, but he never questioned it. He never questioned it, and I didn't need to question him about where he'd been. He'd brought Victoria's scent back along with him. I wasn't sure what that meant, but I knew enough to know not to ask.

"Have you hunted?" He barked, and silently, I nodded. He seemed satisfied with that, sighing as he turned away.

"Were you helping her again?" I asked quietly, and he glanced over at me.

"Yeah." He said, "You could say that."

"I thought you said you were even?"

"We helped each other." He clarified, and I nodded. I still wasn't sure what he meant by that, but I had a feeling I didn't want to know.

With Jack back, I had to be more careful when I visited Mikah. I even considered pulling a no-show, but I couldn't do that.

I returned to the store the next night, when I was sure Jack was occupied with his thoughts for the night. This became my new routine. I started using checking the house for news as an excuse to slip away. Any lingering, familiar scents could be excused as me visiting the same area every day.

I did have my doubts about what I was doing, though. I knew getting mixed up in Mikah's life was the opposite of what I wanted. I wanted him to be happy and safe. As more and more time passed, and I found myself even less ready to let him go, I knew I was in trouble.

I still saw Mikah as just a small reason to hope again. He was like the brother I never had, and my best friend all rolled into one.

Just as December started, with weeks of seeing him every day, Mikah finally asked again.

"I don't mean to pry," He started, "But.. I'm sorry. What's with the costume?"

I shrugged it off, "I like it."

"Yeah," He laughed a little, "I get that, but don't you ever get tired of putting all that on?"

"No." I answered, "I just like it."

"Can I at least see your real eye color?" He requested, and I looked down.

"You have." I began to grow nervous. Was he going to let this go?

"I just think it would be better if you weren't afraid to show you." He reasoned, and it was my turn to laugh. If he only knew..

"I'm not afraid." I scoffed lightly, but my smile faded, "I just don't wanna scare you."

"Scare me?" He asked, "I don't think that's possible." He doubted me? "That costume is scarier than you, I'm sure. I'm a little surprised someone allows you to dress like that every day."

"What if it wasn't a costume?" I challenged, just to test the waters a bit.

"I'd start to wonder about your mental health." He replied, laughing a bit. I began to doubt my own hesitancy. Telling him it wasn't a costume would take a lot of stress off of me, and I didn't have to tell him anything about why I looked like this.

I'd always been a decent distance from him, so he'd never really had a chance to look closer.

"It's not a costume." I finally said, "I can't take it off." He started to laugh, until he saw I was serious. His laughter slowly faded. Before he could even start to question my sanity, I carefully walked over.

I knew what he would see. The lack of obvious skin texture under make-up. I was smooth as stone. Perfect, porcelain skin, not a single blemish or hint of blush in my cheeks. Like a china doll without the paint. My eyes, lacking the obvious contact-lens look.

I stood on one side of the counter, holding my breath as he leaned closer from his side of the counter, interested. He had no idea what he was leaning over to look at.

It took him several long seconds to frown a little in confusion.

"How?" He asked, bringing his hand up to brush against my cheek. This time, the obvious temperature difference made him flinch. My eyes darted to his at his flinch, and he frowned even more. Inspecting my eyes.

I continued to hold my breath, letting him get his look. Glancing down before looking back up as he reached for my hand. He held my hand in his, and I waited for any sign that he was about to freak out.

"What..?" I knew what he wanted to ask.

"I can't say." I finally spoke to him, "But this is really me."

"Is it some sort of genetic thing?" He asked, "God you're so cold."

"I know." I mumbled, looking down, tucking a stray bit of hair behind my ear with my free hand. I was nervous, and he could probably tell.

"So you're telling me this whole time, this has been you?" He asked, and hesitantly, I nodded. He took another few seconds before he laughed again, "Why didn't you just say so? Here I was, thinking you were obsessed with a costume."

I smiled a little, shaking my head.

"Is that why you only show up when there's nobody else here?"

"Yeah." I answered honestly, "It's just easier if people don't see me."

"But I'm okay." He gathered.

"You're okay." I nodded, "Just you."

"And you thought you would scare me by telling me this?"

"Yeah." I sighed, "I mean.. I'm not normal."

"Who says what is normal?" He sighed in reply, leaning forward onto the counter, "Just because you might look a little different doesn't mean anything. You're still a very intelligent girl."

"Sometimes, I don't know." I admitted, looking back down. All I'd wanted was for him to know that this was me, but now I had my doubts.

"Don't think that." He replied, "Your secret's safe here."

I couldn't help smiling a little as I nodded, feeling more than a little relieved. He accepted how strange I looked to him, but I knew it would take a lot longer for him to get used to it.

I returned feeling a lot better than I thought I would. Mikah made me feel a lot better about telling him, even if he didn't completely understand. Even if Jack seemed to be in a bad mood today, I shielded that small spark of hope as much as I could. Curling around it, keeping it hidden from the bitter cold around us.

"Stop taking so damn long." He growled after several tense, silent moments, "You're starting to fucking stink of the humans over there."

"I go there to think." I replied softly, dismissively.

"So think here." He muttered, "Where I can see you."

For the first time, I really noticed it. It was subtle before, but he was quickly becoming possessive again. I realized the more time we spent together, the worse it would get.

I wasn't quite sure what options I had. I had to see, though.

"I'm gonna stay here." I informed him, "I like it here."

"Weeks ago, you were all set to leave." He turned to look at me, "What the fuck happened to, 'I can't stay here'?"

"It's the safest place for me." I answered, keeping my eyes down, "I know the area almost as good as I knew Forks."

He turned fully, and for the first time in weeks, he really looked at me.

"You're hiding something." He narrowed his eyes slightly. I kept my eyes as expressionless as I could, looking up at him from my crouch as he slowly paced closer.

"I'm not." I denied carefully, "I-"

"Stand the fuck up." He growled, and I hesitated only a second before I did as he said. Rising upright, watching as he started a slow circle around me.

"I'm not hiding anything." I muttered, watching him.

"I've smelled this scent on you before." He said, coming back around to stand in front of me.

"Duh." I replied, my tone bored and forced steady, "I'm always over on that side of town."

"It's not town." He argued, "It's human." _Shit_. I kept my expression calm, but on the inside, I was terrified.

"All humans over there smell the same." I said, "Maybe you're smelling the human I hunted earlier."

"No." He slowly shook his head, his unblinking eyes on me.

"Then I don't know what to tell you." I shrugged, turning away.

"Hey." He called my attention firmly, "Don't fuck up." It was clearly already a warning, but he felt the need to continue, "If I smell that scent on you again, I'm hunting it down."

My thoughts instantly went to Mikah and his family. I shrugged, despite the terror of that thought, and he let me walk away, but I knew from then on, I had to be more careful than I thought.

I had a rough night after that, coming to terms with the fact that I couldn't let myself see Mikah for at least a few days. I watched the sun rise the following morning, far away from any human eyes.

I was having a hard time, despite knowing I needed to keep him safe. Despite knowing that I needed to avoid seeing him if I wanted to protect him.

What if I needed to see him to protect him, though?

I knew that that wasn't the case, and going there was out of the question. At least for a few days. It was my gift telling me to stop trying to justify my selfishness, but it was a battle. I didn't want to rush over there and make things worse.

What exactly was it that made it so hard? Yeah, he was the last real person from my vision that I still had, but he still spoke my language. That was amazing to me because I'd changed so much.

When he talked to me, he didn't make me feel like I should be more mature. Like I should just be okay with everything. He let me talk. In a way, I didn't have to be so reserved. It was still okay to not be okay.

It really didn't take long for me to warm up to him like a lost puppy.

But maybe, for all he'd done for me, he deserved to be let go. To let him live his life the way he was always meant to live it. Even if it meant missing him for the rest of my life.

I'd just poofed before. I could do it again.

"Hey." Jack came to my side the following night, "Get up." I frowned at his tone, but stood up.

"What's wrong?" I asked, instantly picking up his tension.

"We're going back to Seattle." He grabbed my arm, tugging me firmly. I had no choice but to start running with him. It was so weird to me that he would risk running during the day, but I really didn't want to piss him off by asking about it.

I didn't even ask about his weird path. He went north into Canada instead of south. I shook that off, though, as part of his choice to run during the day. Less people north, but I wasn't so sure about that.

It did take us less time going this way, so I wasn't too worried about it.

Just as I figured, we found Victoria as soon as we stopped. We were behind some kind of abandoned apartment building, and there were humans around, but none I particularly wanted to see by the smell of them.

To my surprise, I didn't see Laurent, but I did see one of the newborns I'd met months ago. Unfortunately, he was the one that made me most uncomfortable. He watched me the second we stopped, and I watched him as soon as I noticed he was watching me.

"Great job, Jack." Victoria smiled, "Taking care of her for so long." I was even more confused by her friendliness. She actually cared whether or not I stuck around? She gestured to the side, "Can we talk? Just for a second?"

"Jack.." I muttered hesitantly, my eyes on the newborn.

"Sure." Jack grumbled, turning and walking away. Ignoring me. I wasn't comforted, actually hating being left alone with him.

"Leandra, right?" The newborn spoke when I didn't.

"Yeah." I answered cautiously, "Who are you?" I'd never been introduced to any of them.

"Riley." He answered just as cautiously, "What brings you here, Leandra?"

"Jack." I replied honestly, "He brought me here. I don't even know why." I looked around, unable to see Jack or Victoria anymore.

"Your coven didn't bring you here?"

I frowned, looking back at him, "What?"

"The Cullens."

"Oh." I understood what he meant now, "No. I'm not theirs anymore." What would it hurt to say that now? I figured I might as well get used to it.

"I see." He said, believing me, "Why?"

"They didn't want me." Admitting that really hurt, but he frowned.

"So they just got rid of you?"

"Sort of." I replied, "But I heard that could happen with my type."

It seemed weird saying it like that, but in a sense, it was true. I was the same, but I was also a different breed of vampire. The kids had different rules. Different goals and priorities. A whole different set of instincts and challenges. We just didn't match up. That would also take a bit of time to come to terms with.

"They turned you, didn't they?" Riley asked after a moment, still frowning, "How could they turn you and then get rid of you?"

"I don't know." I sighed, shrugging a little, "Not much I can do about it, though. I can't change their minds to want me around."

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"I don't care anymore." I tried to keep the emotion out of my tone, searching for indifference. I didn't need this stranger knowing every bit about me.

"Ah." Victoria returned, "I see you two have been talking." Jack returned to my side, looking even less happy about being here than he did when we first got here.

"Yeah." Riley answered, but his tone was solid, "Yeah, I've heard plenty."

"Good." Victoria smiled, but I narrowed my eyes a little. I didn't quite get what that was all about, but I didn't ask.

"Where's the other newborns?" I asked, curious.

"They didn't quite pan out." Victoria answered sweetly, and it took me a minute, but I understood what she was saying. When I figured it out, I looked down, pursing my lips.

"Ouch."

She looked over with another, sweeter smile, "None of them compared to Riley here."

"He was the strongest?" I asked, mostly just trying to change the subject a bit.

"And the fastest." Riley answered for her, an odd sort of pride in his voice.

"And he'll only get better." Victoria added, "He's magnificent." I tossed a questioning glance up at Jack. He gave me a look that told me not to ask. That he'd explain later, and I knew he would. What the hell was he making me be a part of?

"Jack." Both he and I looked back at Laurent's less-than-happy tone, "Care to explain to me their absence?"

"What?" I asked, "Who?"

"Nothing." Jack replied, reaching out and gripping my arm. He forced me to turn away, shoving me toward Victoria.

"You said they would be there." Laurent went on, ignoring me, "Why are they not there?"

"Couple of newborns." Victoria laughed her explanation, grabbing my arm in a much lighter way, dragging me along with her as she turned away. Riley followed us, but he was silent. Just watching me.

I didn't believe her one bit.

Normally, I wouldn't have allowed her to move me at all, but in a way, I wanted Jack to have to deal with this on his own. That, and this gave me a chance to figure more stuff out.

We rounded the corner, and about ten blocks up the street was a far more populated area. I knew we weren't going that far before I even had a chance to wonder.

"So." Victoria started, releasing my arm. She must have sensed that I was a willing participant. Not surprising, considering she still had her hand. And face.

Maybe I was losing my wild streak. Maybe I was being tamed?

Maybe Riley was just intimidating the living hell out of me. I sensed he was extremely protective of her, and I also had feeling that one wrong twitch would set him off. Just looking at him told me he was unpredictable.

"So.." I mumbled in reply, following her across the dark street to the nearest narrow alleyway. She stopped, and it looked like we'd be spending our time here. My instincts must have distrusted her, because without even giving it conscious thought, a single glance around found me three separate ways to escape.

"How has it been there?" Victoria asked me, "Where have you two been?"

She obviously didn't know where we'd been, otherwise she wouldn't be asking. If she didn't know, that meant Jack never told her. If Jack never told her, he obviously had a good reason not to.

"Here and there." I answered vaguely.

"Oh." She wasn't pleased, but she wasn't upset about it, "Have you found anything.. Interesting?"

My thoughts instantly went to Cole, but again, I didn't trust her in the smallest bit.

"Not really." I sighed, "Hey.." I looked over at her, "Jack said he had to help you. What did he mean?" Her expression stayed open, but the way she hesitated in answering me, I instantly knew that right now wasn't the time to ask about it.

"I just mean.." I tried to fix it, "Well-"

"Oh," She laughed in sudden understanding, "The newborns. I create them. I don't.. Dispose of them."

"Oh." That explained it, "For the army."

She lost the open expression immediately, frowning a bit. I could swear she was confused.

"What army?" Riley asked, confused as well.

"I don't know." She answered him, her eyes on me, "But I am interested to know exactly what it is she thinks we're doing here."

She really didn't know? Had I just said something I shouldn't have?

"Nothing." I immediately mumbled, looking down. The mood between us had just changed, and I couldn't tell if Victoria was mad and mildly interested, or very interested and mildly mad. Not knowing made me uneasy.

Before I could even figure it out, I was running away. I knew neither of them followed me, and that helped, but I still didn't feel like slowing.

I ran straight for the other end of the city. The same end that we'd run from last. One of the safest places I could find, but before I could even settle on a spot, I crossed a faint scent that made me stop abruptly. I almost didn't catch it, but I was already on edge, so every sense was on high alert. It was familiar.

The Cullens had been here recently. I couldn't tell exactly how recently, but I picked up Emmett's scent first. That was what made me stop. I stopped, and I found more. Carlisle's scent was strongest, most recent, but Esme had been here. Emmett, Alice, and to my dismay, Jasper.

But everyone else's paled compared to Carlisle's. The last time he'd crossed through here, he'd been alone, and he's crossed through here very recently. Within minutes. The scent was stronger toward the city than it was leading away. Meaning he was either in the city now, or had found another way out.

I didn't think Victoria and Riley would follow me, but I wasn't completely sure about that. If they followed me and found Carlisle first, I had a feeling it wouldn't end well. So I did the only thing I could. I started to follow it.

I just needed to be sure he was okay. Further into the city, however, I stopped again at picking up Alice's scent again. Very recent this time, and she was alone. Her scent being strongest in the city would mean she hadn't left since she got here.

I would have doubted the length of time, had it not been for the fact that within seconds of following her scent, I knew she was near. I stopped and looked around me. Including up.

From the corner of my eye, I saw and heard someone flit passed the buildings down the alley from me. By the scent, that was Alice.

I didn't even have to think about it. I rounded and darted off after her.

I rounded the corner, further away from the humans, the dark street made darker by the single working street lamp just outside the alley. I followed the scent straight into the pitch darkness, my breathing hitching as the scent stopped.

The sudden jerking movement of her turning sharply toward me instantly had me jumping back and crouching. Up ahead, she'd rounded to face me, and in the time it took me to crouch, she'd recognized me.

I couldn't blame her for not recognizing my scent immediately. I probably stunk of Victoria and Jack, and my scent was probably nowhere near the same as she remembered.

"Alice." I whimpered, unable to move yet.

"Leandra." She replied, her expression both relieved and sad at the same time. She started my direction just as I stood back up. I backed up yet again, causing her to pause.

"What are you doing here?" I tried to swallow the pain I felt at seeing her, "You guys shouldn't be here."

"I came here looking for you." She reasoned, "This is the last place we found your scent." She took another step, no doubt wanting to talk closer, but I stepped back with a small hiss. She frowned, "What's wrong?"

"She doesn't know." I just wanted to give her the information I knew, "Victoria doesn't know about the army. I thought she-"

"The army?" Alice asked, "In the visions?"

"Yeah." I knew Edward had filled them in, "She doesn't know." She looked down in thought for a second before she nodded.

"That's good." She said, "That gives us more time."

"Time?" I asked this time.

"Leandra, what the hell happened?" She asked quietly, "Why did you run away?"

"What?" I frowned, "I didn't run away."

"Then where have you been?"

"He never told you?" I asked, suddenly breathless, "Jasper never told you what he did? You've been here the _whole_ time?" That explained so much.

"He told us you ran away." She explained, confused, "That you saw him as a threat."

"He _was_ a threat." I replied, slightly outraged, "I never would have run if he didn't tell me to." How could he force me away from my home, and never even tell the others the truth? I frowned, "Hasn't Edward been around?"

"Not a lot." She answered, just as deep in thought, "He's been spending more and more time with Bella." I sighed. That sounded like something he would do.

"Alice," I mumbled, "I swear. I didn't want to run away. Jasper told me that night that I had to leave and never come back. That that was best for everyone."

"Where have you been?"

"In New York." I answered, "Waiting for someone to think to look for me there."

"Leandra," She murmured sadly, "Your eyes-"

"I know." I looked down, "It's a long story, but I have to go. I gotta find Jack before Victoria does."

Before she could ask, I started off with a deep whimper, ignoring her attempts to catch me and call me back.

I was sure that I was lost in the outlying cities before I stopped running with a loud curse, a tearless, whimpering sob and a crouch.

I now had more answers than I knew what to do with. I felt so stupid, having stood around waiting for them when they didn't even know I was waiting. For all they probably knew, it had been my choice to leave, and they've proven before that they won't chase someone down if they choose to leave. Hell, _I_ was told that when it became apparent that the Tacoma kids wanted me to join them. For all they probably knew, I'd run off to join the kids. My urging them to leave Tacoma was proof enough of that.

Did Alice even believe me? That was the question. One brief meeting couldn't hope to change the direction her thoughts had been in since that night months ago. Especially not if Jasper would just keep lying to her. With his gift, he could convince anyone of anything. I had no hope of competing with that.

That was probably the moment I really started to give up. I would just have to accept that that part of my life was over.

Right then, I did have more pressing issues. I had to find Jack and ask him what the fuck was going on with Victoria. How did she not know about the army?

It actually wasn't that hard to find him. I went back to the spot I'd last seen him walking away with Laurent, and there he was. Looking just as bored as he always was. I didn't stop. I ran by, grabbed his wrist, and tugged him along with me.

Of course he had to ask, "What the fuck?" But he ran along with me.

"How does Victoria not know about the army?" I asked, slowing so I could run along side him.

"You brought up the army?" He demanded.

"Yes." I replied defensively, "I thought that's what she was doing!"

"I hadn't gotten that far yet." He snapped, "She was only in Seattle to find someone to help her out with revenge. Not build this fucking army you mentioned. Goddammit. You probably just gave her the idea."

"Wait," I frowned, "Why is that a bad thing? I thought this would be something you wanted."

"Not if I wasn't the one to give her the idea." He replied sharply. He was pissed, but he was following me, and I was suddenly focused on something else. Carlisle's scent.

If Jack noticed it, he didn't let on. He seemed just as irritated as he always was, but he wasn't as angry as he would have been had he been paying attention. Then again, it wasn't like he was trying to keep me from them anyway. Maybe he did notice it, and just didn't care.

Either way, we ran nearly directly alongside Carlisle's scent the whole way back to New York. He was still alone when he left the city, but right outside Seattle, another scent joined him. Cole.

It was raining here, which tried to wash away the scents, so it was difficult to pinpoint exactly how long ago this trail was made, but it was there enough to follow.

I kept expecting these scents to turn off, or turn back at any point, but the only time it veered off was in New York, headed straight for our spot. Not the house like we were headed to. For a moment, I wondered why Carlisle would come looking for me, even if Cole did find him, if they all believed I ran away. I honestly didn't know what to think.

I also had to wonder how Cole knew to find him out that way. I never told him where to look for him. Just that he was out there somewhere. I stored that question away for later, though.

With a sinking heart, I realized what it was Laurent was demanding while I was stuck with Victoria. 'Why weren't they there?' Meaning the Cullens.

Jack had told him the Cullens would be home, when in fact, they were all there in Seattle. It was strange. Like he knew. I couldn't tell if that would be him trying to help them, or him trying to bring them problems. Once again, not knowing bothered me.

We stopped at the house, and it was easy to verify that Carlisle hadn't been here yet. I needed to talk to him, though. If there was any chance at fixing the family, and bringing them back together, this was it.

It also made me a bit nervous, though, knowing Jack would be one step closer to getting his payment. He would do what he agreed to do, but after that came whatever he wanted.

"Carlisle is here." I finally decided to speak up about it. Jack never even looked at me.

"I know." He was bored again, "If he came all the way here, he'll check his fucking house."

"We should go there-"

"I'm not walking straight into a trap." He gave me a flat look, "If he wants you, he'll come to us."

 **A/N: Things are getting complicated here. ;)  
THANK YOU! To those that were generous enough to REVIEW last chapter! THANK YOU! HUGE THANK YOU! MANY THANK YOU'S!**  
 **Chapter six is pissing me off. It won't sit still, but I'll figure it out. Hopefully soon. ;)**  
 **Until six, my friends! :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

It was extremely hard not to run all the way across the city, knowing Carlisle was just over there. The fact that he was there instead of checking the house first told me that Cole was the reason why Carlisle was here at all. The area he'd taken him was the first spot Cole had met me.

I knew it was only a matter of time before they followed our scents and came here. Carlisle would know exactly where we were if he just tried.

I also couldn't help dreading the moment they did find us. I actually had no clue where to begin explaining myself, and I had no idea what he must have been thinking. This would be the first time I'd see him in months. I also had no idea what to think. Would he be angry? Happy to see me? I didn't know what to expect.

"What if he doesn't come here?" I asked, "Then what?" I looked over at him.

"He will." Jack rolled his eyes, "And how funny. We're standing here, and I don't smell that fucking scent that was on you anywhere."

Meaning, he didn't smell Mikah's scent here. Meaning, he was still focused on that.

"Because I told you." I said, "It was the human I hunted."

"That fucker was still alive when you left him." He snapped, "I'm not fucking stupid."

"Just drop it." I grumbled, looking back out over the dark street. I couldn't help being annoyed.

"How am I supposed to drop it when you're being a goddamn idiot?"

"Don't you think I know that?" I snapped back, "God, just shut up!"

"Watch the fucking tone!"

I went to snap again, but I stopped myself. Instead of shouting, I hissed a deep breath in, biting it back. Fortunately for me, he found that funny. I looked over as he started to laugh.

"Don't fucking explode." He laughed, "What the fuck was that?"

"I don't know." I couldn't help laughing too, "I was gonna keep yelling, but you told me to shut up, so I did."

He laughed again, shaking his head.

We were there only minutes longer. Just a few silent minutes, before both Jack and I were aware of Carlisle's approach. He must have found our scent, but he was alone. He wasn't bringing Cole with him. Either Cole didn't want to come, or Carlisle expected an issue. I wasn't sure.

"Get your ass over here." Jack barked at me, and I did. I crossed the yard, coming straight to his side.

Something like shame curled up tightly in my stomach as I listened to Carlisle stop just outside the yard. I kept my eyes down. As happy as I was that he was finally there, I couldn't even look at him.

"About fucking time." Jack was the first to speak.

"Jack." Carlisle greeted, very unsure. I didn't blame him. I was pretty unsure myself.

"Seriously." Jack went on, "It took you long enough. Where the fuck have you been?"

"I wasn't aware I was expected somewhere." He admitted, "I came as soon as I was told I was needed." Well, that confirmed my suspicions. Everyone believed Jasper. I closed my eyes briefly, hanging my head a little more before I chanced a glance over at Carlisle.

I immediately looked away as I saw he was looking at me, though. I didn't even look at him long enough to see his reaction to seeing my eye color for the first time. I didn't want to see it.

"So you really weren't looking for her?" Jack pointed over at me.

"No." He replied quietly, "We were under the impression, Leandra, that that wasn't what you wanted."

"Jasper lied to you." I murmured, finally fully looking over at him, "I never ran away that night. Not on my own. He made me leave." This time, I did watch the emotions cross his features. Confusion was a big part of it, but in keeping that eye contact, I could feel the slight anger in my eyes fade into hurt.

"But why?" Carlisle finally asked, frowning, "I never thought it went that far."

"I didn't either." I mumbled, "Or else I wouldn't have gone with him. He said it was because I was a mistake. I was never meant to be turned. He said I cause more problems than I helped, and I guess he's not wrong, but.. I never meant to cause any problems, Carlisle."

"We will sort this out." He told me.

"You want to?" I asked, and I couldn't help being surprised.

"Of course." He replied immediately, and instantly, I felt the small spark of hope again. The one that had nearly been extinguished over the long few months, but thinking twice about it, I was hesitant, and I knew he could see that.

"I don't know." I admitted, glancing up at Jack and his bored expression. I had to think twice. For my own safety, and for theirs. What would happen to them if I chose to come back? It would all just start over again.

I felt like I had to say something, though.

"I never wanted to leave." I went on, shaking my head a little, "I even tried to come back."

"You did?" He asked, obviously surprised.

"Yeah." I muttered, looking back down, "But Jasper found me first. He told me everyone left, and he told me not to come back. I didn't go back, because well.. That time scared me."

"I can't believe it." Carlisle sighed, mainly to himself, clearly in heavy thought.

"I was standing right fucking there." Jack decided to add, and I looked up at him, "If it wasn't for me, he would have caught her ass."

"You saved her?" Carlisle asked in return, and I nodded.

"She owes me." Jack murmured firmly, knowing what he was getting at. I looked down at that statement as he went on, "I wasn't gonna let that shithead rip her apart before I get what I want out of her."

I could see in Carlisle's expression that he was piecing together the arrangement I had with Jack. It wasn't hard to figure out what he meant by what he said, so it didn't take him long to understand. I could only glance now. I couldn't even look at Carlisle, because I knew Jack was right.

Jack waited for Carlisle to look to him again in what looked like horrified shock before he spoke up again.

"Are you telling me that you don't know your fucking coven well enough to know when they're lying straight to your face?"

"I give my family the benefit of the doubt." Carlisle replied flatly, "And given her history, I can't say I questioned it, but we always believed she would come home some day."

"I couldn't." I said, and he looked at me, "I couldn't come back. Not with Jasper still there. I didn't wanna cause more problems, so I thought it would be better if you found me. I needed you to find me."

That last part of that statement slipped into being a quiet accusation.

I understood. I did understand that Carlisle had been lied to. Badly betrayed by one of his most trustworthy family members, but another, smaller but stronger part of me wanted to blame him. For letting that happen. Despite knowing that it wasn't his fault.

"I promise." Carlisle finally replied, "I'll make this right. I only need you to tell me how." He was just as lost as I was.

Even if they were fixed, set right with each other, I still had to change. I couldn't go home even if I wanted to. It was so hard to finally fully force myself to think that way, but I managed to.

"We just need to get everyone in one spot." I answered, "Jack says he tried to undo whatever might be wrong with Jasper, but it didn't work. I think it's because they all have to be together."

"That would make sense." Carlisle nodded, and I was surprised.

"It does?" I asked hesitantly.

"Leandra, it's more than diet that holds us together."

"It's the ties." Jack grumbled nearly inaudibly. He really seemed like he hated to admit that, and I caught on. I'd been right from the beginning. They needed to be together to fix the bonds that had been strained. Jack could fix them, and he didn't want to admit that I'd been right. He'd known all along that I'd been right.

"So.." I looked to Carlisle again, hesitating a second, "Do you think you can do that? Get everybody together? It's the last hope I have to fix what I did."

"Of course." He replied, "But.. This is a very difficult situation, Leandra. I believe you, but I feel we need to approach this cautiously."

"Jasper." I guessed, and he nodded again.

"The last thing we want is to turn him away." He replied, "If the others are what you need, I'll get them. Just hang on." He immediately reached for his phone.

"Carlisle," I asked hesitantly, and he paused, "What if Jack can't fix what's wrong? What if it's actually _me_ that made him act like that?"

"Don't worry about that right now." He assured me, "I've found you again. We're not going to lose you again." I couldn't help it. I whimpered and stepped forward enough to hug him. It almost amazed me that Jack allowed it.

Carlisle still cared about me. I couldn't believe it. I tensed for a second as he returned my hug, before I had to step back. I was torn as I realized I couldn't be selfish anymore.

One step at a time, I told myself. I would face that when I had to. Not a second sooner.

Before I could even focus too much on that, though, my entire mood changed. In a split second, I went from cautious and sad to fearful and alert. A sudden, twisting fear told me something was about to go wrong.

I had no idea what was telling me to go, but I had no choice but to listen. I found myself looking back, toward the west.

"What's wrong?" Carlisle instantly caught on, but I didn't even know. He must have seen the sudden panic in my eyes.

"We have to go back." I said, glancing back at Jack, "Now."

"What the fuck..?" Jack asked, but before he was even halfway through the question, I was too far away to hear him. I'd never been in such a hurry, and I didn't even know why. All I knew, was that I had to get back to Forks.

This wasn't for me, but for someone else, and to my intense surprise, both of them were following me. It was such an odd feeling, being so small and weak compared to the both of them, and be leading both of them just as easily as I would lead Gage and Brett.

They both had drastically different reasons, but whatever those reasons were, I was leading them and they were following me.

I shook off that surprise, concentrating as we arrived back in the tiny town across the country from where we first were. I never stopped, but I slowed a little bit. Toward the center of town, I caught a very familiar scent, and immediately began following it. It was Laurent, and I wasn't sure where he was going.

"What the fuck is he doing here again?" Jack asked, having caught up.

Last we'd heard of Laurent, he was in Seattle. He wasn't anywhere near the Cullen's house, so it wouldn't be that he was rechecking.

"Where's he even going?" I asked, frowning a little. This part of town wasn't that familiar to me, but Carlisle pushed ahead. I glanced over, but allowed him to move on ahead.

The scent grew stronger before it shifted directions, but to my surprise, Carlisle stopped. He suddenly broke off, and without even thinking about it, I followed him.

Jack continued on, probably still following Laurent's scent as it kept going toward the outskirts of town.

Carlisle didn't even seem to notice that I'd followed him until he finally looked down at me as we stopped outside a rather plain two-story house. The front door in front of us lay half on its side. Clearly just kicked in.

"Leandra," He spoke tensely, "You shouldn't be here." Because of the blood I could smell?

"I'm okay." I assured him, and that was all he waited for. I had to admit, I was curious. I waited outside while he turned and went inside the house. Probably to check on the bleeding person inside.

Whoever it was was still alive, and not bleeding as bad as it seemed at first. The wound had already had time to clot, slowing the bleeding on its own.

I was only outside alone a few seconds before I decided to look around. Looking for a clue as to who lived here. The scent was slightly familiar, but it was different. Nothing I'd really smelled before.

I looked back to the side of the house, finding a cop car parked there. I narrowed my eyes a little in thought, finding that particular car to be familiar, so I searched my memories.

It took me a moment, but I finally remembered where I'd seen that car before. The first vision I'd ever had, the very beginning. Of course, I'd seen it since then, but the memory of the beginning of the first vision I ever had was the strongest reference I had. I'd been inside that car before.

That was Charlie Swan's car. This was Bella's house.

I turned and ran inside, despite knowing Carlisle already knew. I found him in the living room, kneeling beside Charlie laying unconscious on the floor. He was just starting to come around, so I knew it wasn't that serious. It tested me, the blood continuing to slowly pool from the fairly large gash over his forehead, but I was able to resist in the panic of the situation.

I did a thorough search of the house, hating every passing second. Even testing a breath in. Laurent had definitely been here, but the only blood scent in the house belonged to Charlie down stairs.

"Carlisle," I spoke clearly the moment I was back at his side, and he looked up at me, "Bella's not here. Please tell me she's with Edward."

"No." Carlisle replied, standing up and reaching for the phone in his pocket, "She's not. Edward is in Seattle."

Looking for me. They all were.

Carlisle dialed a number, already heading out the door. I watched Charlie, though, my entire focus on that damn wound. It was covered, but without any pressure over it, it continued to slowly bleed.

I refused to breathe, kneeling down and pressing over the wound myself. Focusing now on every bit of strength I used, just to be careful.

I jumped only a little as his eyes suddenly opened, fear in them for the briefest of seconds before the pain obviously hit him. He looked up at me a second later, my hand still pressing on the thick cloth covering the wound.

I refused to even look him in the eye, still focusing on the pressure. It was silent for a minute or two before he reached up himself to take over the pressure, allowing me to move my hand away. He'd calmed down, groaning as he sat up.

I continued to kneel there, though, frozen in uncertainty. As slowly as I could, I wiped the blood I felt on my hand onto the carpet beside me, but otherwise, I was stone still as he stiffly looked over at me. I could hear Carlisle outside talking on the phone, so he wasn't paying attention to me.

It occurred to me that I had come a long way. Though the burn was incredibly painful, I had the restraint it took to kneel less than a foot away from an open, bleeding wound, and not instantly pounce on it.

I'd come a long way from the flimsy newborn that couldn't even resist Jack's blood.

I kept my eyes down as he studied me. I wasn't sure what to do. I knew I probably should get out of there, but I was stiff. Like him just looking at me made me too fearful to move.

"Leandra?" His voice was gruff, but I could clearly hear the recognition in the weak sound. In reflex, I looked over at him, responding to my name. Instinct had him tense the second I looked at him, as if he didn't know his brain was telling him that I was dangerous.

It was probably really confusing for him. His instincts were telling him to panic, but his conscious mind only saw a little girl. Even in the dark of the room, he saw me. He recognized me, and probably saw the crimson hue to my eyes.

I wasn't aware that he knew who I was this time, so it puzzled me. Charlie, however, was far more puzzled. Confused, and simply floored.

"You're alive?" He asked, and it started to make sense. He was the chief of police in the same town as the doctor that officially filed me dead. Charlie's signature was on those papers as well, so he knew my name. He knew who I was. I'd been a person to him.

I didn't know what to do. I just stared. I couldn't even speak to respond, as that required breathing to do so. We could always spin this to be a result of a head injury, but it still made me nervous. I hadn't been expecting him to know me, but now that he recognized me, it would be a bit pointless to deny it.

Silently, I shook my head. Answering his question. No, I wasn't alive. I was there, but I wasn't alive.

Carlisle then seemed to realize that I was still in here, returning as fast as humanly possible. I looked up at him as he approached with a quick jog, taking in the fact that Charlie was not only awake, but staring right at me with the same confusion I wondered about.

Before Carlisle even had to say anything, I rose smoothly to my feet and walked away.

"Leandra?" Carlisle asked, and I paused long enough to look back at him, "Stay close. Please." I didn't feel like agreeing to that, in case something came up, so without acknowledgement, I continued on out the door.

As soon as I stepped outside, I caught the sound of heavy, running footsteps our direction. Long before any scent made it to me, I picked up on that sound, and I knew I didn't even need the scent to tell me who it was running full speed for me. It was Emmett.

I knew that sound well, because he was always with me during my early newborn days. He was alone, which made me feel safe. I couldn't help myself. I ran toward the sound as well, meeting him just up the street and hugging him as soon as we stopped, my arms closing around his waist.

He wasn't having that, though. He pried my arms loose, stepped back just enough to kneel down and he hugged me back.

I couldn't help remembering how close I was to giving up this feeling. I was this horrible person, a disgrace to my family and had already taken countless human lives. When it came to hugs like this, though, I felt extremely small and vulnerable, but it was okay with me.

"Shorty." He seemed so relieved that I was there, "Where the hell have you been?"

I would fill him in later. Hopefully with the others there too. For now, a hug was enough. I wasn't even sure if he'd seen my eyes yet. I hadn't yet given him the chance, but I knew my scent had to tip him off.

Sure enough, when he pulled back to look at me, he didn't look all that surprised. Either he could tell, or Carlisle had filled him in. I wasn't sure, but I had to ask him something.

"Is Jasper coming?"

"I think Alice is bringing him." Emmett replied, "Esme wasn't far behind me. Carlisle said we had to all meet up?" He was prompting me, hoping to get some information.

I suddenly remembered. Looking back behind me in the direction Jack had gone. He wasn't here.

"Dammit!" I couldn't help swearing. Everything I'd been waiting for was in the process of happening, and Jack was nowhere to be found.

Before I could get too upset about that, though, I listened hard enough to find the sound of his running strides. I'd know that anywhere as well. They were getting stronger, so he was headed back this way.

"What?" Emmett asked, concerned.

"Nothing." I said, calmer, "He's coming back.." I trailed off there, because the scent coming from that direction confused me. With a quick glance to Emmett as he stood up, I knew he was confused as well.

We both watched, confused and frozen as Jack just walked right passed us toward the house. Bella draped in his arms, unconscious but physically fine. Without missing a beat, he walked inside the house and dropped her roughly on the couch. He didn't even pause. He just turned right back around and left the house.

He crossed the street, right toward us.

"There." He said, coming to my other side, "Now can everyone calm the fuck down?"

"Tell that to Charlie." I muttered, "I don't think he was whacked in the head hard enough to forget this night happened."

"I can fix that." Jack replied easily.

"Don't." I immediately barked, "Don't. It was a joke." He shrugged, but stayed put, waiting along with us.

"You're awfully calm for someone that's about to die." Emmett spoke up, and I looked over at him. He was talking to Jack.

"You need him." I mumbled, focusing on the house again. Bella was still out cold, but Charlie was up and moving around. Carlisle was trying to give him some sort of answer to keep him from flipping out while making sure Bella was okay. Laurent certainly made a mess of things.

I had to wonder, though. Why would they come here looking for Bella? It wasn't Edward's fault this time. It had been mine, but they blamed the family. Could it be because I had mentioned that she was human?

Being human made her vulnerable. Being vulnerable made her a target. A way in. Perfect for revenge.

I frowned, "Emmett?"

"Yeah?" He asked, still tense at Jack's presence.

"How.." I hesitated, hoping I wouldn't be smacked by Jack for asking this, "How did you know I was in Seattle?" What made them go there tonight? It was becoming clear to me that that hadn't been a coincidence.

"A text message." He answered, looking down at me. I frowned a little more. Behind us, Edward arrived, but he didn't stop. He ran right inside without even slowing down.

I would assume Emmett would have told me who the message was from if he knew, so I didn't even bother asking that question. I just didn't get who would have known I would have been there when I was.

"And.." I went on, quieter, "What did it say?"

"It just said your name, and Seattle." He replied, "We really didn't know what it could mean, so we went there, but we wanted to be safe doing it. Lucky we did, because that's when what's-his-face showed up."

"Cole." I gathered, and he nodded.

"He said he was a friend of yours."

"Who the fuck is Cole?" Jack frowned down at me.

"He's just someone I asked to keep an eye out." I answered easily, too distracted to make much of a deal over it, "He was the one that brought Carlisle to New York."

"You're recruiting other vampires now?" He barked, "I knew about those little brats in Colorado, but what the fuck?"

"He knows about the kids?" Emmett asked, surprised.

"He met Shannon the night I told her they needed to leave." I replied, still distracted.

It was becoming clear that whoever messaged them and told them to come into town was trying to get them out of the way, so Laurent would have a clear shot at Bella, but it had to be timed perfect.

They'd been there before looking for me, but tonight was different. Tonight, they had confirmation that I was there.

That had been a set up. Not anticipating Cole's arrival.

But that didn't explain why Laurent was upset when the Cullens weren't there. Maybe he wanted an audience. Maybe he wanted someone to spread the word about what happened.

"Shorty." Emmett pulled me out of my thoughts, "What the hell happened to you?"

I hesitated a second, looking up at Jack. I wasn't even sure what I expected, but I didn't know what to say.

Thankfully, before I had to wonder too long, I heard Esme's approach. She wasn't alone, but given the sound, it was probably Rosalie with her.

She didn't give me much reaction time, coming straight to me and hugging me tightly. I ignored Rosalie, aside from a confirming glance over Esme's shoulder. I wouldn't let her presence bother me, despite the fact that I knew she was disappointed I had been found.

I greeted Esme just as warmly as I'd greeted Emmett. Despite knowing Jack was standing right there watching. I wasn't sure how it was possible, but she hugged me tighter than Emmett had. I didn't mind that. I just knew I had to be careful, as I didn't want to accidentally hug her too hard and hurt her, but knowing she'd actually missed me gave me hope that this might actually go well.

"Esme." Jack's grinning voice had me pulling back to look back at him, and he didn't even need to say anything. I read exactly what he was thinking in his expression as he looked her over. It bothered me.

I knew I wasn't over-reacting, because Emmett's quiet and brief growl told me he had caught on as well. Esme, however, wasn't bothered enough to move.

"Jack." She greeted bitterly, but she was polite. He chuckled, and I swore he was smug.

"The others coming?" Jack asked her firmly, probably moving on so Emmett didn't snap.

"They're on their way." She answered, and he nodded.

"We'll just wait over here." Jack didn't give me an option, and as much as I wanted to stay here, I turned along with him. We walked away several steps, crossing the street again just as Carlisle and Edward stepped back outside. With a glance at us, Edward followed Carlisle across the street to the others.

"Where's Laurent?" I asked, looking up at Jack, "He had her, didn't he?"

"Don't worry about him." Jack replied, "I think he learned his lesson." I shrugged. He went on, quieter, "Remember your promise. All I have to do is fucking try. If this doesn't work-"

"I know." I muttered, "I remember."

"Then I get whatever I want from you." He went on anyway, and I tried to ignore the way the others looked back at us. They'd clearly heard that.

"Yeah." I grumbled, hating the way he had to announce that. Carlisle knew before, but I could easily see that he hadn't told anyone else.

Carlisle turned to face us, about to say something, when the last two were heard approaching. Involuntarily, I growled a little, stepping closer to Jack's side in instinct. He'd been the last and only one to protect me from Jasper. I knew Jasper wouldn't try anything with the family there, but I still felt vulnerable. In a not-so-good way this time.

My reaction hadn't gone unnoticed by the Cullens across the street, but I was more focused on the urge to run as both Alice and Jasper arrived. Finally making the group complete.

Jasper's eyes found me, and I tensed, but it was completely silent. They didn't know what this was about. Alice knew, and Carlisle knew, but the others had no idea.

"Make it fast." I whimpered, looking up at Jack.

"I'm working on it." He said, "Shut the fuck up."

"Okay, so.." Emmett spoke first, "I guess you two have some sort of disagreement?" He pointed to Jasper and I.

"He knows." I muttered, and he sighed.

"I don't know what story you've made up-"

"I didn't make anything up." I snapped lightly.

"I would like to get to the bottom of this." Carlisle spoke up, taking my attention as he took a few steps forward, "I want to know exactly what happened that night." He already knew my side of it, but he was giving me an opportunity to explain.

It was silent for several seconds after that. Completely silent, aside from the breeze that made its way through the trees around us. Jasper wasn't offering anything, so I decided to speak.

"I didn't.." I replied, "I didn't just run away."

"Obviously she means she wasn't alone." Jasper added, and I growled in response.

"Is that what you told them?" I asked, outraged, "What other lies have you been telling them, _Jasper_?" How could he do this?

"What is going on?" Esme asked, concerned, "Leandra, honey, calm down."

"Jasper chased me away that night." I said immediately, looking over at her, "He _told_ me to run."

"What exactly happened?" She asked, and I listened to the tension in her tone. I didn't blame her for being tense. She was being told that she'd been fooled all this time when she had been clearly set on keeping me.

Emmett looked over at Jasper, and the expression in his eyes reflected how I felt. If Rose and Alice hadn't been standing between the two of them, I had a feeling Emmett would have hit him without a second thought.

"He chased me off." I replied truthfully, "I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay, but _he_ wouldn't let me."

"This isn't working." Jack finally spoke up.

"Jasper," Carlisle looked at him next, "Is she telling the truth?" I knew he had to ask.

"Of course not." He replied evenly, calmly, his eyes on me, "Look at her eyes, Carlisle, and tell me she wasn't gone for so long by choice."

"Why didn't you come back?" Alice asked, moving the discussion on before I could get mad.

"I tried to come back." I insisted, "But he told me you guys agreed with him, and had left. He made me leave again."

"She did come back." Jasper confirmed, "It was only a repeat of the last time I'd seen her. She's so explosive, I'm lucky to be standing here." They all looked to me again, but I glared at him.

"You're lying." I shot back at him.

"Explain Jack." He challenged.

"You made me leave." I grumbled, "I went to Seattle to.." I trailed off, knowing exactly how this would sound.

"To?" Jasper pressed.

"To find Jack." I finished, my voice wavering just a bit, "B-But it was only so I could get his help. He was the only hope I had." I doubted that, though. He was right. I didn't have to stay with him this whole time. That doubt came through in my tone, I knew it.

I had to admit to myself that it was because I was scared. I knew that as much as I hated Jack, I could count on him not to let anyone else hurt me.

I looked over at Carlisle, "I stayed there in New York, waiting for you guys to come looking for me, because I knew if I went back, _he_ would just chase me away again."

"And your eyes?" Jasper asked, and I looked down, "Care to explain that?" I knew that would eventually come up.

"Should she have to?" Jack snapped, "She's a fucking vampire."

"Of course she is." Jasper countered, "But Carlisle, don't you think if it was truly not her choice to leave, she would stick with the effort?"

I mumbled now, "I-I thought you guys had left.. I-I thought.. You didn't want me anymore."

"Why didn't you call?" Esme asked, and she sounded so sad.

"I didn't think about that." I mumbled, but Jasper spoke up again.

"She's lying." His voice was so sure, I couldn't even argue with him. He looked over, "Carlisle, look at who she's with. What has she always told us about him? Since we've known her, she's always said that he is very manipulative. It's clear this is a plot to divide us. To cause us to turn on each other."

"I don't want that!" I snapped, "Carlisle, he's the one lying. I swear, he's lying right to your face."

"Why would I return?" Jasper pointed out, his tone still calm, "Why would I come back after supposedly exiling her? I don't think that would be a good idea after going against you like that."

Damn, he was good.

"It happened exactly as I told you." Jasper went on, "We argued a bit, and she got angry. She was angry, told me she was leaving, and I tried to stop her, so she ran."

He was using my past against me. The fact that I had done that in the past was coming back to bite me now. Even Carlisle had said so.

"Try harder." I couldn't help growling over at Jack. I was losing this debate.

"Try what, exactly?" Jasper asked pointedly, and I looked over at him.

"Don't do this." I whimpered. This really wasn't how I imagined this would go. His expression, remaining calm, gave a slight shift to a smug glint in his eyes at the fact that I had to plead now.

"Remind me why I'm supposed to be helping you?" Jack asked me in return, "What is the fucking goal here?"

Floored, I looked over at him. In that moment, everything shifted. Both Jack and Jasper now had a common goal. Ruining everything I possibly had with my family.

For a moment, I caught the sight of doubt in Carlisle's eyes. That gave me another boost I needed to keep arguing my point. I knew the truth. I _had_ to make them see. Right then, I only wanted to clear my name. To prove I wasn't lying, and to show them exactly how bad things had gotten.

"I went with him to that spot." I stressed, taking all of the attention from that side of the street, "That spot outside Tacoma that I thought I found something. When there wasn't anything there and he thought I was wrong, he got mad and said all I did was cause problems. He told me everyone was better off if I left. I didn't want to leave, but he chased me away."

"That isn't true." Jasper spoke directly to me, which threw me off for a second, "I was irritated, that was true, but I wasn't trying to chase you away."

"That's a lie." I snapped in reply, "Stop lying to them. I was doing my best to fit with the family. Why would I just leave like that? I wouldn't! I ran and hid that first night. After that, I went to Tacoma to see Shannon, and then I went to Seattle to find Jack, and ask him for his help to undo whatever he must have done to make Jasper the way he was. I made him agree, and that's why I've been with him so long. So he could undo whatever is wrong with _him_ ," I pointed at Jasper, "And get things back to normal for everyone."

Before anyone could say anything else, though, Edward slowly stepped forward. For a moment, I'd even forgotten that he was standing right there. No doubt trying to figure out which one of us was lying. Flinging arguments and accusations at each other across the street wasn't helping anyone.

He would have to be the deciding one here because as much as they wanted to believe me, there was too much evidence against me, supporting Jasper's story.

"Right now," He spoke slowly, "I have to doubt Jasper. Leandra ran to Seattle to find Jack and ask him for his help with the strained bonds between us. She believed fully that he could help."

He'd seen that in my thoughts?

"Her plan all along wasn't to break us up, but to bring us back together." He went on, looking at Carlisle, "She was willing to promise whatever it took to gain his help, fully knowing the consequences of a bargain like that, and that in itself speaks volumes about her intent."

"Jasper?" Carlisle asked, looking back at him. He was silent at first. His eyes were on the street in front of him, no longer even looking at me, but I could see he was thinking.

I knew the others were waiting on his reply, but in a way, I could sense the change. I felt how things had shifted by Edward stepping forward for me.

I didn't let that show, though, as Carlisle looked back at me. I kept my expression as honest as I'd tried to make it the entire night.

"I swear." I mumbled, and I could easily see he believed me. It was just a matter of convincing the others.

"She isn't lying." To my intense surprise, Rosalie spoke up. I had to smile. She went on, almost bitterly, "Jasper told me what he did that night. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy about that, but seeing what it's doing to the family, I have to agree that it's best to be honest now." She looked over at him, "I'm sorry."

"Is that true?" Esme asked him, and I knew it would be a thousand times harder for him to lie to her face.

"Tell them, Jasper." Edward murmured in the resulting silence.

"It's true." He finally sighed, "I can't tell you now what made me do that, but she isn't lying. I was."

I sighed hard in relief, glancing up at Jack, but he wasn't that smug anymore. He looked at me, and glanced pointedly at the others.

"Fix it." He growled under his breath. I caught on, taking the nudge. The goal had always been to fix the bonds between them. To do that, I needed to back off the blaming and help them understand each other again.

"I wasn't lying." I went on, tearing my gaze away from Jack, "But.. Don't blame him. Don't blame Jasper."

"How can we not?" Emmett snapped, "Are you kidding me? How can you not blame him? He went behind all of our backs-"

"He was just doing what he thought was right for everyone else." I reasoned, "Rosalie, too. They wanted to protect everyone. They just wanted what was best, and they weren't wrong. I did cause a lot of problems. I always knew that. I guess that's why I never really thought to call, and why I gave up so easy. They wanted what was best, and _I_ wasn't what was best."

I trailed off at the emotion that crept up. It was an odd sort of mix between depression, pain of grieving what all I'd been in the process of giving up, and a deep resignation. It would have to be this way if I was going to fix it. My entire purpose stood across the street from me now.

All I fought for for so long was coming to an end.

"Don't blame him." I whimpered, and I knew all that emotion was coming out with each word, "Forgive him. Forgive each other. Don't _fight_ anymore."

Without a word, Esme stepped forward, crossing the street and hugging me easily. I honestly hadn't thought about how much this whole situation had been hurting me. Now that I had a chance to say these things, it was like holding my breath this whole time.

"We'll work on this." Esme assured me as I held onto her tighter, "It'll get better."

"It's not his fault." I whimpered against her shoulder, and I finally realized that this was all I ever wanted to tell them.

"Esme?" Edward murmured, and she pulled back to look at him, "A word?" I knew my words had to bother him. It sure seemed like it. So I only nodded as she looked to me. She could go. She smoothed my hair lightly before turning and walking away.

I watched after her for a second, suddenly realizing that that was probably the last hug I could allow myself to accept. I took a few seconds to let that sink in, before Jack took my attention with an easy nudge.

I looked up at him, and he gestured with a turn of his head that I needed to follow him. He turned the opposite direction that Esme had gone, and I followed him away. He stepped over and around to the other side of Bella's house. I followed him into the shadows there.

"It worked." He told me, "I found a way. They'll be fine now." I nodded a little, but I knew that wasn't all he wanted to say, so I waited. He sighed, "But.. You're not part of that anymore." He gestured to the group, who now talked among themselves.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"The bond they had with you was getting in the way of their own." He explained slowly as if I was slow, "I fixed it. Removing that bond with you made them fix their own bonds." I was highly upset at this turn of events, but in a way, I was shocked he would even bother to tell me this.

"I-I.. But.." I didn't even know what to say, looking back at them, "So.. It really was me that was making them like that." Just as I looked at them, Edward glanced over as well. I didn't want to complain at this turn of events, because I had said that he needed to fix them, no matter what it took. I didn't know what I expected, but this certainly wasn't it.

"Don't fucking bitch." He grumbled, reaching out and gripping my shoulder. He forced me to face him again, and of course, I allowed that. I didn't have much choice.

"I kept one." He went on, "One bond, because now, it's time to pay up." I looked up at him, suddenly nervous. Every possible scenario ran through my thoughts in a second, my mind panicking but I stayed quite still.

"Now?" I mumbled, glancing back across the street.

"No," He replied sarcastically, "Tomorrow." I flinched at a light slap to the side of my head, "Fucking idiot. Yes, _now_. You gave me your word that you would give me whatever I wanted."

"I know." I whimpered, but somehow, I was hoping it wouldn't ever come to that. I took a breath, "Well, what do you want?" Maybe it would be something easy.

"I want _that_." He looked pointedly passed me, and I hesitantly looked back at what he was looking at. It was unmistakable.

He was looking right at Esme.

I suddenly forgot how to talk quietly.

"That's not happening." I immediately said, looking up at him. I hadn't even considered the thought that he would go after her. I was taken so far off guard with that realization. Had he been planning that this whole time?

"It can." He replied easily, "It would be easier with your help."

"I'm not helping you do that." I snapped, "I said-"

"You said you would do whatever I told you if I fixed that pathetic little family." He hissed a whisper, his voice quieter now, "I fixed that pathetic family, and now it's time to keep your fucking word."

"I didn't know-"

"It doesn't fucking matter."

"Leave her out of this." I hissed under my breath, but before I could finish that, he snapped his hand out and gripped my neck, just under my chin and slammed me back against the side of Bella's house. I broke off with a loud growl, but shut up as I saw the look in his eyes.

I should have been surprised that Esme was the only one that came running over, but I really hated the fact that she did.

Jack allowed her to pry his hand off of me, and I suddenly understood his angle. I glared up at him as Esme pulled me a few steps away from him. He was going to use her protective nature to get him what he wanted. Just like he did with my mother.

I pushed passed Esme and pounced right at him. He caught me, swung me around and shoved me away. I landed on my feet, but I wasn't going to try that again.

"Leave her alone." Esme spoke up before I could, using the same words I was going to say.

Carlisle arrived at her side, and I saw potential hope in Jack's plan. Carlisle wouldn't let it work, but I had a sinking feeling that with enough time, Jack could work on that bond between Carlisle and Esme.

"I'll play nice." Raising his hands in a show of surrender, Jack chuckled and walked away, around her and right for me. I glared up at him as he came to my side.

"I'm okay." I glanced over at Esme as she followed. I knew the longer we stayed here, the more time Jack had to work on their bond, so I knew we couldn't stick around too long.

I wasn't going to just sit back and let him do that. I wasn't going to take the easy way and throw Esme under the bus. I cared too much about her to be that selfish.

I hesitated only a second before I looked back and up at Carlisle.

"Everything is okay now." I told him, "Don't blame Jasper for what he did. All I wanted was for you to know the truth."

"Don't leave." He replied, "We will work this out-"

"I have to." I argued, "I-"

"What's your hurry?" Jack asked, and I did hesitate. He was forcing my hand. Removing my choice from consideration. Although I knew it had to be this way from the start, it didn't make this any easier. With a tight breath, I held in a whimper, clenching my fists at my side.

The sudden, intense pressure on me made me snap.

I rounded with a growl of anger, actually managing to slam my fist into Jack's stomach. Knocking him right off his feet and several feet into the trees. The sound of him hitting the ground and rolling a bit knocked me out of whatever rage I'd gotten myself into.

I stood there, frozen as I realized that at any second, he was coming back. With a panicked glance behind me at Esme and Carlisle's surprised expressions, I backed up a step as Jack jumped back to his feet.

I nearly ran at the first hint of the sound, but his chuckle was quiet.

"I'm sorry." I instantly said as he started back our direction. His lack of response made me tense.

"Leandra." Edward spoke a warning firmly, and I glanced back at him right as Jack ran forward. Instinct told me to move, thankfully, so I dropped down right as he swung for me.

I could defend myself if I really had to. Right then, I really had to. He gave me no time to react, though, landing a solid kick right to my face.

As much as it hurt as I landed on my back, I rolled back to get out of the way of another. Landing between Esme and Carlisle.

I rose into a crouch, refusing to let that kick slow me down. Now that I was expecting it, he wasn't as eager to come at me anymore.

"What did I tell you would happen next time?" He growled, pointing at me. I didn't care. He was focused on me again.

"Then do it." I had never spoken to him like this. The tone I used was guttural, almost pure growl in the sound. I went on, my face a deep glare, "You have me, but when you go after them, no deal."

"Okay." He replied simply, "If that's how you want to play it-"

"No one is playing with you." I glanced over, surprised as Edward came forward, stepping halfway in front of me, "Make no mistake, Jack. I am grateful that you brought Bella back safely, but that is the _only_ reason why you're still standing here."

I couldn't help being surprised. Jack had said he'd removed their bond to me. Yet Edward was trying to protect me?

"Yeah?" Jack chuckled in reply, "Don't like my thoughts, do you? You see them. Warn her." He pointed at me, and I glared a bit harder, "It _really_ would be in her best fucking interest if she just does what I want."

"Go." I stopped that right in its tracks, "I'll catch up." Though he smirked, I could see the sudden distrust in his eyes.

He pointed at me again, sharper this time, "You know where to find me."

I narrowed my eyes, but I knew he wasn't wrong to expect me to follow. He turned, and was gone without a glance.

"What is he talking about?" Carlisle was tense.

"Don't say anything." I immediately snapped at Edward, darting to my feet, "It doesn't matter. They don't need to know."

He sighed, "Leandra-"

"I am _not_ ," I shoved him a little, "Starting this all over again. _No_ way! Right now, I don't care _what_ he does."

"Easy." He tried to calm me down, holding his palms out toward me, but I went on.

"I'm _not_ letting anyone try to stand between me and him again. _This_ time, _I'll_ be the one that takes it. _No more_."

" _Easy_." He repeated, "Leandra, I can't imagine how hard it's been for you since that night. What you've done, just to bring our family back together, is amazing. Your bravery is amazing."

I started to calm down as I listened, convinced now that he wasn't going to spill everything.

"I know I wasn't there a lot." He went on, "But.. I admit it was hard for me to see you like this. For what it's worth, though, I don't believe you were a mistake."

"You don't?" I asked hesitantly.

"No." He replied easily.

"But.." I mumbled, "I'm the whole reason why everyone fought for so long. I got in the middle."

"No," He repeated, "The only mistake was our failure to adapt. Not you."

I shrugged a little, so he went on.

"I got a good look at the way Jack's ability works tonight. It's quite complicated, and it doesn't work quite the way you think it does."

"Then.." I frowned a little, "How?"

"He cannot destroy or create bonds between people." He replied, "He can only work with what is already there. Shifting them, so to speak. Strengthening some in place of weakening others."

That made sense, so I nodded.

"That creates a problem." He said, "Good or bad bond, it doesn't matter. As long as someone has a bond to him to build on, he can manipulate it. Straining them in place of strengthening others." I could suddenly see what he was getting at.

He decided to go on anyway, "The entire time he stood back, he wasn't removing the family's bond to you. He was reinforcing your bond to him."

"But that doesn't make sense." I said, "How could he help tonight?"

"The first time we met him," He explained, "He shifted the bonds between Jasper and yourself greatly. He strained it, and in a sense, he changed it. He didn't have a lot of time, otherwise it would have been more drastic of a change, and what happened that night between you two would have happened a lot sooner." At my silence, he continued, "Tonight, all he did was fix that balance. I have no doubts that what he told you was a lie in an attempt to force your hand. He certainly didn't expect it to backfire the way it did."

"I want to know about this agreement." Carlisle spoke up, having stood in silent thought. I glanced over at him, "Leandra, what did he ask of you?"

"It doesn't matter." I mumbled, shaking my head as I looked down. Honestly, the thought of going against him, especially against my word, scared me, but I would hide that at all costs.

"Come on, shorty." I looked back as the others approached. Jasper and Rose both hung back, but they moved closer.

"It's not gonna change anything." I sighed, turning to look at him easier, "All it'll do is piss everyone off."

With a sigh, Carlisle looked over at the others, "May we have a moment?"

Edward took the hint first, walking away with a small nod. I knew where he was going before he even turned. I watched him walk into Bella's house before anyone else even turned around.

Oddly, Jasper turned around last, lingering until Alice tugged him with her.

"I can't stay." I spoke first, "So asking me to tell you won't change anything."

"Regardless whether it changes anything or not, I'd like to know."

"No you wouldn't." I shook my head, "You wouldn't like knowing. I swear, though, when I promised, I didn't even think he would-"

"Relax." He murmured, and I took a deep breath, "Please. Tell me."

I hesitated for a moment, before I sighed.

"He likes Esme." I admitted, and I knew that was all I had to say, given the shift of emotion in his patient eyes.

"I see." He replied quietly, and I looked down, "I also see what upset you so much."

"I won't let anything happen to her." I murmured, "I don't care what I have to do."

"Leandra, violence isn't always the answer."

"That's not what I meant." I replied quietly, keeping my eyes down.

"Honey," Esme sighed, crouching beside Carlisle to look up at me, "It doesn't bother me."

"You don't know him." I said, "He did the same thing to my mom. He saw her, and that was it. When she started to catch on to what kind of person he was, he used me to make her stay. It's the same thing he's gonna try to do to you. It's what he _does_."

"Is that why you think you can't stay?" She asked, clearly concerned.

"That's why I _know_ I can't stay." I clarified, "You don't know how tired I am of watching him ruin your lives. Over and over and _over_ again, all because I'm a coward. He's _my_ problem, so I'm just gonna deal with it. I'm tough enough now. I can handle it."

Carlisle sighed, "I'm sorry you feel that way."

"I messed up that day." I replied, "The day I bit him. I know that better than _any_ one. I know that better than Jasper, or Rosalie. Jack wouldn't even be a problem if I didn't mess up as bad as I did."

"Have you been blaming yourself this entire time?" He asked with a light frown.

"Why not?" I asked sadly in return, "Everyone else does."

"That isn't true."

"That's when everything started to go wrong." I explained, "The day I bit him was the first time I really messed up. The only way I can make up for that, is to keep him away from you. I'll make things right."

"I don't agree with that." Esme spoke quietly, reaching out and gently taking my hands in hers, "Honey, you're so young. The mistakes you might have made were never made on purpose. You've always done the best you can."

"I did agree." I replied just as quietly, "Most of all, I wanted to know that all of you would be okay. I promised him that I would do whatever he wanted if he could just fix what I did, and he did fix it. Jasper told the truth. That's all I wanted."

She sighed, "Honey-"

"From the time I woke up on your couch, all the way up until now, all I've ever wanted was to make it right." I explained, my voice weakening a little, "And now, I'm _so_ close to doing that. All I gotta do now is make myself walk away, but.." I trailed off, the emotion nearly strong enough to hurt.

They had no idea how hard this was for me. It was gut-wrenching, really. A family is all I'd ever wanted. It was everything I'd ever hoped and prayed for, but now I had to accept the fact that I would never have that.

All I would ever have was Jack.

 **A/N: Not the best place to end it, but it's a fairly long chapter. I hope it was worth the wait. (:  
THANK YOU! To my REVIEWERS of last chapter! You're awesomeness! AWESOMENESS!**  
 **Chapter seven won't take long, guys. I have it written out. I think I'm getting back into a routine, and you have no idea how happy I am about that. Little KNeu can now walk around without me panicking every step he takes. Although he has attitude now, so I'm not sure I like where this is going. Still waiting on his hair to catch up, though. Seriously. Where is it?**  
 **ANYWAY!**  
 **Chapter seven will be along soon. (:**  
 **Until then, my friends!  
Yay!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"Leandra?" I jumped a little at Alice's hesitant voice, looking over as she carefully approached. Immediately, my eyes found Jasper as well, right behind her. Without even thinking about it, I backed up.

Logically, I knew that the defensiveness I suddenly felt wasn't needed, as Jack had fixed things between him and I, but it was still instinct to be fearful of him. I'd had so much time to reflect on the events of those days nearly nonstop. The look in his eyes would always be burned into my memory, alongside the way it felt to have to be afraid of someone who was supposed to be a part of the family.

As he stood up, I saw the sadness in Carlisle's expression for the first time. I did stop retreating after I put enough distance between Jasper and I, keeping my uneasy gaze on him. My over-defensive mind had me locating everyone I could around me, in case I needed to get out fast.

"Leandra." Jasper spoke to me for the first time since his confession, and I braced myself. I waited for the normal patronizing tone. The normal criticizing, telling me I was over-reacting.

But it suddenly seemed like he didn't know what to say. The longer I waited, watching him try to find the right words to say, the less defensive I got.

Eventually, he spoke.

"I'm sorry." He told me, "Really. You didn't deserve anything I said or did. I suppose I did know that I wasn't myself, but that was no excuse."

"I don't blame you." I replied tensely, "It wasn't your fault. It was mine, but.." I hesitated in continuing. I didn't want to say that his apology didn't fix anything. Despite that being the truth, I didn't want to tell him that. His apology did mean a lot to me, but it still didn't make anything right. It wasn't his fault, but that didn't change what happened. I'd already been trained to fear him, and that was a difficult thing to unlearn.

"I understand." He said as if I'd just spoken all that out loud, "I know it will take far more than one apology to make it alright, but I'm hoping you'll give me the chance." He paused, "Though I know I don't deserve it, I'm hoping one day I can say I was able to make it up to you. I am quite ashamed of my behavior."

His sincerity was almost overwhelming.

"I don't blame you. It really was my fault." He looked down, and I knew that wasn't what he wanted to hear, "But.. I really don't know if you'll be able to make it up to me. I still can't stay, no matter how much I want to."

"Isn't there anything we can do to change your mind?" Esme asked, and I looked back down.

"You don't now how bad I wish there was." I replied, "But every single time I give up and stay, it all goes wrong. I lived it."

"Leandra," Carlisle sighed, "I want to be sure that you understand the potential consequences of the choice you're making."

"I know." I replied, "It's all I've been thinking about since I first found Jack, but that doesn't change anything."

"Can I ask why?" He asked quietly, "Why are you so willing to do all of this?" I thought he'd known. Maybe I just needed to word it in a different way.

"Because I know you." I mumbled, "I know everyone. Because you tried _so_ hard to teach me. I learned so much from those visions, and when I woke up with those memories, it changed everything I was afraid of. It made me see that being stuck with Jack isn't the worst thing that could ever happen.

"The worst thing that could ever happen is making everyone I cared about the most in the world suffer because I wasn't brave enough to make the right choice. That's why it meant everything to me to make things right. That's why it still means everything to me. If he'll take me, I'll go, and I'll be brave this time because none of you deserve that. I'll give up everything I have to give if it means you'll be safe."

I could see in his expression that he seemed to understand a bit better, but it made him sad. I had to look away.

"You'll be okay now." I mumbled, emotion making my voice quiet, "Everyone will be okay, and everything can go back to normal." I gave one more slow glance around, "You guys will always be my family. No matter what happens to me, or how long I live, you won't ever know how much you mean to me."

With that, I ran off. I knew they wouldn't follow me, as much as they wanted to, because it was my choice to leave.

Once I was far enough away, I slowed and I took my time. I was heading for Seattle, but I didn't want to get there too fast. I was nursing a broken heart, and I didn't want Jack to find that bit of vulnerability as an opportunity to be even more cruel than usual. I couldn't handle that right then.

I hadn't really thought about it before, how it would feel to walk away. I must have been under some kind of denial, because despite knowing this was for the best, I never quite allowed myself to think about what it would mean.

It meant not having them as a back up plan. It meant never having them to lean on anymore. It meant giving up everything I ever wanted, just to keep them safe. It meant keeping all the memories I did have close, holding onto them and protecting them, because those were all I would have.

It was facing my own future now alone. I had Jack, but I might as well have been alone. I would have been better off alone, and I knew that, but he was my only option.

No matter how sturdy I was, how invincible I was, that was a terrifying thought. I was scared. Out of any of our kind, I was the most vulnerable. The smallest, the weakest, one of the ones without much of a purpose. According to so many, I was one of the ones that shouldn't exist.

I took my time finding my way to our usual spot among the back streets of Seattle. It was nearing dawn by now, so I wasn't surprised to find Jack in the more hidden area.

He stood there, rather patient as I made my way closer. Keeping my eyes down, facing whatever he had planned alone.

"Well?" He barked after several seconds of silence.

"It's just me." I replied softly, "I'm sorry for hitting you, but you can't have her."

"We'll see." He smirked, "I think with enough persuasion, she'll get the message."

I slowly looked up, honestly feeling so defeated. He was already focused on her. Once that happened, there was very little, if anything I could do. The sense of failure was suddenly suffocating.

"Just stop." I said, "You have me. Isn't that enough?" With a steady smirk, he stepped forward. I stood silently, watching him coming closer until he could reach out and take a fistful of my hair at the back of my head.

"Of course not." He replied with a chuckle, yanking me closer, "I thought you fucking _knew_ by now. You don't tell me no. Nobody tells me no. Nobody tells me what I can and cannot fucking have." I winced at the tightening of his fist against the back of my head, but aside from reaching up to hold onto his wrist, I didn't move.

"Don't even worry." He went on, quieter, "I will have her. Soon enough, you'll have her right next to you again, right under my feet."

I had no idea it was coming, but I growled at the thought. He jerked me roughly, cutting that off.

"I dare you." He growled in response, "Stop me." The best I could do was look away. I knew full well I wasn't strong enough to stop him.

"Hmm?" He hummed, now amused. When I didn't reply, he chuckled again, pulling me closer and resting his forehead against the side of my face as his voice got quieter, "You're not done. I've got you for eternity, and I'll be taking my time with you."

I already knew it wouldn't work before I even attempted it, but I struggled a little. Just needing to get him away from me, but the only thing that struggle resulted in was making him use more force. Keeping me still and chuckling once more through his teeth.

"Until then," He growled in a whisper, "You're gonna have to do."

I wasn't sure what I'd been expecting the whole time I worried about it, but being intimidated this way didn't bring out any kind of hidden strength. It didn't anger me into ripping his head off. All it did was remind me that I would never, ever be strong enough to protect myself. I could hurt him, but he overpowered me just fine.

I learned a hard lesson that morning, one that he would probably never have to teach me again. It made me see that no matter what I was now, he could continue his abusive streak. I was just sturdier now, so he didn't need to be as careful as he always had to, so in a way, it was worse.

Things had shifted. It was like he suddenly remembered that I was there to be a target for his frustration, and the fact that I was half his size only seemed to make him angrier.

Once it was safe to do so, I took off running. In an attempt to protect myself, once I was able to slip away, I darted to my feet and ran. His chuckle faded away behind me, because he and I both knew that I would be back. I'd be his punching bag again. The helpless creature he needed to overpower to make himself feel better and the weaker one he'd use to work out those frustrations that built up over time.

I had no choice. I was right back where I started, but I couldn't see a way out this time.

I ran to the complete opposite side of the city, and hid. I curled up to recover. The physical pain faded. My skin remained flawless, not a bruise or a mark to be found, but my mind was a totally different story. It recorded all the pain I'd just endured, and I couldn't do anything to heal it. It was an extremely helpless feeling, and I had no idea what to do to make it easier.

I was going to have to get tougher. It would only get worse from here. I just didn't know how to grow tougher without also growing bitter and mean.

Against my own rules, I left the city. The events of the morning set me fleeing further than I should have allowed myself to go. I ran through three snow storms to get there, only to find it was snowing there too, so I didn't have to worry about sunlight as I paused on the sidewalk right outside Mikah's store.

He wasn't inside, and it occurred to me that it was way too early for him to be at work. I needed to see him, so I thought about the next best place to find him. My thoughts taking me there once again, and I found myself standing outside his house.

The snow I'd run through on my way here to New York would cover my scent within an hour if it kept up, but I still needed to be careful.

Inside the house, I found him, but he smelled off. He was sick.

I had to admit, I wasn't using my best judgement. I needed to see him. I wasn't going to let anything like a second floor bedroom stop me.

I rounded the house, scooting between his house and the neighbor's house until I got to the muddy and snowfilled back yard. Everyone else was already out for the morning, so I felt okay with climbing up the face of the building, aiming for the bathroom window. Nobody ever thought to lock that.

I was right. I squeezed inside, not making a sound as I landed lightly on my toes. I hadn't yet thought about what I was going to say. I just needed to see him, whether he was awake or not. If he was okay, I was okay. That was how it always worked.

I followed the sound of his heartbeat up the hall and into the room he shared with his sisters. I paused long enough to ask myself if this was what I really wanted. He was sleeping, and I could still leave without him knowing I was there at all.

The emotional pain and turmoil I was currently under made me silently push the door open.

I instantly frowned. I could feel the fever he had from across the room. Yet nobody cared about him enough to stay in case he needed anything? Knowing him, he probably played it off.

His bed was situated in the far corner of the room, blocking most of the closet door, and halfway under the small window in the room. The window was covered by a blanket, shutting out any daylight, so I shut the door behind me. The light was probably not very welcome right then.

Worried, I crossed the room. Stepping over toys as I moved, and I kneeled beside his bed. He lay sleeping on his back, but it really didn't seem like restful sleep. His heart pounded a little too fast, and now I could feel exactly how high his fever was. At least 101. Closer to 102. I remembered being that sick, so I knew he had to be miserable.

I stayed there as long as I could, hoping for the relief I usually felt at seeing him, but it never came. He wasn't okay, which meant I wasn't okay. For a moment, I forgot all about my misery and pain while I worried about him. As much as I knew I needed to leave, I couldn't.

It was oddly peaceful, watching him sleep. It was almost like I could sleep myself if I just focused on him. He rolled around a lot, but never really woke up.

I jumped, not expecting the sound, as his alarm clock decided to go off right at 3:30. I picked it up, and jerked it off the table, unplugging it roughly in the process. Opening the window, I threw it down into the snow with a growl, hating it with a passion. I hoped it was now dead, and that it had beeped its last beep.

Unfortunately, he'd woken up with the first sound it made, watching through blurry eyes as I did all this. The brief moment the blanket was moved gave him an opportunity to see that it was me.

"Leandra?" He frowned, sitting up in bed.

"I didn't know it was gonna do that." I muttered, almost ashamed.

"How did you get in here?"

"The door was open." I lied, kneeling back down, "You're sick."

"Yeah." He sighed, but I could see he was still rather out of it.

"Why is the clock waking you up?"

"Sick don't pay the bills." He offered a small smile, probably hoping to ease me, but the pale tone of his skin didn't allow that. I gathered that he had to work today. I frowned. They put too much on him. His family expected too much of him.

"Neither does dying." I pointed out, and he gave me a look.

"I'm fine." He assured me, "Now, please excuse me." I pouted as he climbed out of bed, stepping around me on the floor. I turned around, facing him every step he took until he finally looked back at me.

"Oh, come on." He gestured at me with a laugh, "Really?"

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Next thing I know, you'll be crying." He returned to the bed, sitting back down. I stayed kneeled on the floor, just as I had been all day.

"I can't." I replied honestly.

"Can't what?" He asked, "Cry? Like.. At all?"

"No." I laughed a little at his surprise, shaking my head, "At all."

"Huh." He huffed, surprised, "You'd think I'd be used to strange by now. Every new thing I learn is just as odd as the last."

"Sorry." I muttered, looking down.

"No." He said, "Do you even know how interesting you are?"

"You have no idea." I sighed, keeping my eyes down, "Sometimes I wish I could cry, though."

"Why?" He asked, and I could tell he sensed that I wasn't joking.

"I hurt a lot." I admitted almost shamefully, "And there's nothing I can do about it."

"I didn't think about it like that." He murmured, "Well, how do you know you can't?"

"Because if I could, I would be right now." I explained, glancing up at him. I couldn't help it. I needed someone to listen, and I needed someone to know that I wasn't okay. He was all I had left that I could talk to, and technically, I shouldn't have even been talking to him.

"Whose butt am I kicking?" He asked, and I knew he was trying to cheer me up.

"I wish it was that easy." I replied, slowly getting to my feet, "But I should go."

"Joking aside," He reached out, catching my wrist and I looked over at him. He didn't show any surprise whatsoever at my temperature this time.

"You've got a lot in there, Leandra." He pointed to the left side of my upper chest. I looked down before I looked at him again, "I know. I can see it. If you ever need to talk, no matter what it is, you just let me know."

"Really?" I asked hesitantly.

"Really." He confirmed quietly, "No judgement here. I'll just be there to listen."

"Why?" I couldn't help asking, "You would do that?"

"I don't come across very many people that are pure." He answered, "You've got a heart of gold, Leandra. I mean, after all.. Not many people would sneak into someone's house just to make sure they were okay." I forced a sad smile, "If you're willing to do that for me, the least I could do is listen."

I glanced back at the door, but he leaned over to recapture my attention.

"Please." He murmured, "For once, don't run off. Don't disappear right when I'm just getting somewhere." The pure sincerity in his voice swayed me, "You've got one hell of a story, princess, and I'm dying to hear it."

There it was. The one word from him that seemed to echo throughout every memory I had of him from the visions.

"Can I hug you?" I asked, "I promise I won't hurt you." Though I could see the confused concern cross his features, but he didn't ask.

"Of course." He replied, so I did. I stepped forward a little too quickly, but I caught myself in time to hug him as softly as I could. Keeping silent track of every bit of strength I had, I forced my self to move carefully as I hugged him.

It was all I could do, because I felt his heartbeat through his too-warm skin. Holding my breath did nothing to stop the sound of his blood coursing through his veins. It was forceful, the instinct to end the sound, but another instinct shut those ones up. I needed him too much to hurt him. Just like it'd always been.

My throat erupted in flames, but I clenched my teeth with a small, strangled whimper.

He had just enough time to return the caring gesture before I had to back out. It was one thing hugging it, but being enclosed by the same human blood I ruthlessly hunted every other day was too much for me.

I was across the room before he even had a chance to look at me, and I knew I probably just messed up by moving so fast, but I truly couldn't help it. I would rather run away than risk hurting him.

Once again, I knew he was taken off guard.

He studied me as his surprise left his eyes, and I stared at him. Waiting for the freak out, but it never came.

"I'm sorry." I managed to whimper, but that was all I could give him. A shaky, breathless apology before I had to get out.

This was it, I told myself as I flitted down the stairs and out the front door. This was it. He probably wanted nothing to do with me now. I was just too weird. I would never be normal. This had to be it. I couldn't come back.

I took a moment to jump in a lake before I returned, for scent removal purposes. I didn't want to drag Mikah into it again.

"Why the fuck are you all wet?" Jack asked once I did return, and though I did have a good excuse, I couldn't bring myself to actually speak to him. He laughed, "Did you try to drown yourself?"

I moved to a corner and crouched, giving a look his way. It didn't take him long to figure out what I was doing.

"Are you still pissed?" He snorted, "Fine. Be pissed. I don't give a fuck, but you better get used to it, because you've got a lot more of that coming your way."

I hadn't yet given Jack the silent treatment, but his statement just then didn't give me any motivation to speak. I couldn't help comparing the way I felt now to how I was a lot in the beginning- Reluctant to speak to anyone I didn't trust.

I wondered how many times this had to happen before I lost all humanity again. Maybe it actually was best not to go back to Mikah, and let the hopelessness happen. I closed my eyes, and told myself that this torture was for a good cause, even if it made me want to die all over again, but at least it was _me_ wanting to die and not someone I cared about.

He left me alone the rest of the day, probably sensing that it wasn't safe to approach me with how guarded I was. Despite the fact that that only sent me extremely mixed messages, and all it did was confuse me.

I didn't dare hope that that meant I had any say in what he did to me. I knew better than that.

We left Seattle that night, so I assumed he'd had a chat with Victoria while I was gone. No doubt trying to calm the waters with her because she was not a good person to have against you, and given her opinion on how children should be protected, it wouldn't be wise to let her see me. It would ruin his whole facade.

Christmas came and went, and it only grew colder, but I didn't feel it. Weeks went by, and Jack only grew bolder. I began to hope that maybe I was enough for him to handle. I resisted only as much as I dared, and fought back only when it was smart to do so. I rather liked my limbs. I didn't want them torn off.

It got harder. He upped his abuse, though, but it never left a mark. I never had a scratch on me, but every encounter like that left me trembling in his hatred.

I didn't dare run to Mikah like I desperately wanted to. I didn't know what I would even say. I hadn't spoken since I'd seen him last back in December, and I wasn't even sure I knew how to anymore. It was probably beaten out of me that particularly hard night we spent in Kansas.

It got harder, but also a lot easier in the fact that I didn't have any other choice. All I had to focus on was enduring him, instead of having to find a way to get away from him and keep everyone safe at once. I was my own bait, keeping him away from anyone else.

Tonight was already shaping up to particularly rough as well, and I knew it was only because I had chosen not to hunt. Again.

I did that sometimes. Unless he brought a human in and dropped it in front of me, I would refuse. I wasn't sure what was worse, though. Choosing to hunt on my own, or letting him choose the human for me. He always chose the ones that would really bother me to kill, knowing that I was starving and had no choice. Fully driving home the fact that I needed to thoroughly hate myself and everything I stood for.

I honestly didn't know how long this could possibly last before I snapped and either killed him, or let him kill me, but he always seemed to know when I was getting close to that point, and left me alone. Letting me back away from the edge on my own terms, so to speak.

I thought about the Cullens every day, and Mikah even more. They were all my reasons for doing this, and as much as it hurt me, they were enough of a reason to keep going.

I hadn't hunted in three days, and I didn't feel the effects like I would have a few months ago. That one spark of hope had disappeared, and I felt as cold on the inside as I did on the outside. I let the late January snow pile up on me, watching Jack's feet as he paced side to side.

I knew he was trying to decide what to do with me. He had to go back to Seattle and check up with Victoria there, but I wasn't moving. He couldn't carry me, because after what he'd just got done doing, I wasn't okay with being touched.

After a struggle like that, I was looking pretty rough, but I'd stopped caring a long time ago. I hadn't replaced my torn clothes, and Jack didn't care enough to. They did hold up, but Alice would have had a heart attack if she saw how they'd been abused.

Eventually, Jack decided.

He pointed at me with a firm, "Stay."

I didn't reply or even blink. I just glared at the ground. I wasn't going anywhere, just like I never went anywhere. I just needed time to recover. I couldn't do that by running away again. He'd probably have to dust the snow off of me when he got back.

He felt confident, and suddenly disappeared. After the events of tonight, it was hard to believe I was alone.

"Finally." I jumped at the quiet voice off to the side. Creating a small avalanche off my head as I looked over quickly. It was Shannon, and she wasn't alone.

She stepped from the foliage beside me, followed closely by Eli, and for a moment, I was happy to see that he had found a place with them. Gage and Brett were next.

Before Shannon could even reach me, Brett was crouching in front of me, dusting the snow off my hair and shoulders.

I knew by his tense movements and his expression that they had been here awhile.

"Come on, Leandra." Shannon told me, stepping closer to my side, "It's time to go." I frowned, looking up at her. I found that my weeks of silence left me unable to talk to her either. Though she'd done nothing wrong, the trust just wasn't there.

None of them understood that I couldn't go with them. I couldn't look for safety or shelter. I was bound here by those that I loved and cared about.

"Stand up." She urged gently, and I just shook my head, hugging my knees tighter as I rested my chin on them. She didn't understand how badly I wanted to take her offer, but I couldn't.

"We've been following you for days." Brett told me, "I'm not surprised you're not talking anymore." Apparently, that was a common thing with us when we were distrustful or mistreated, but.. They had been watching?

"Leandra," Shannon gently kneeled beside Brett in front of me, "Look at you." I didn't need to. I knew what she was seeing. She sighed, "You don't need to put up with this. We'll keep you safe."

"We will." Gage agreed, "We've done it so many times."

I shook my head again, but I didn't bother to lift it back up. I honestly didn't need this right now. They were dangling freedom in front of my face, but I had to think ahead for them. I had to see everything that freedom would come with. It would be a nightmare that none of them deserved.

"I can't.." Brett sighed hard, standing up. I knew he was upset that I was refusing, but I couldn't fix that.

"Why not?" Shannon asked me. Why would I agree? Far too much sat at stake if I took the coward's way out again. Them most of all. More than half of them had been mistreated themselves. It would be a group of tiny targets in Jack's mind. He'd left them alone so far, but if I pissed him off.. I couldn't do that to them.

I'd already given up. Why wouldn't they let me give up?

"Come on." She replied, firmer now. She was trying to make it a command. That would not go well for her. She went to reach for my hand, but I jerked it away. She sighed loudly, "Leandra, I've seen this look before. This look in your eyes. It's my _job_ to take you someplace where we can hopefully heal the damage he's done to you."

"Trust us, Leandra." Gage murmured from where he stood, "This leads nowhere good."

"He's worse than mine." Brett even spoke up, and that actually surprised me, but not enough to change my mind.

"And mine." Gage agreed, nodding.

Shannon watched me for a second before she looked over at Gage.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked, "Both of you?" They easily nodded.

As soon as they had their backs turned, though, I started running in a small explosion of snow and movement. I heard Shannon's disappointed sigh just as I got far enough to no longer hear her. None of them followed me, but I was just fine with that.

I was tired of everyone trying to talk me into being a coward. I wouldn't run to Seattle, but I was running out of places to hide out. The further north I went, the more snow I ran into, but I didn't feel a thing.

I just needed to be forgotten about. I'd already given up on me. Why couldn't everyone else do that too?

I found myself in New York, but it was far too late at night to hope to talk to Mikah. New York was the only place I knew I could hide out in. I'd go back in a few hours. Maybe by then, Shannon and the others would go home.

They clearly didn't understand how badly I wanted to take their offer. Never in my life had I ever felt so physically strong, but weak in my hopelessness. I would have given anything tonight to fall asleep. I was so tired of my thoughts spinning through my head, so agonizingly constant, and for once, I didn't know how to handle it.

I slowed to a jog before I stopped in the front yard of Carlisle's house. The same place I'd spent so long before. It was the one place I knew Jack would find me if he came back before I could return to the spot he'd told me to stay.

I couldn't see Mikah anyway, I thought as I looked down at my clothes. Even if I was willing to show my face again. He'd definitely think I was homeless now.

I sat with a sigh. It didn't matter anyway. Nothing mattered.

I stayed outside, listening to the snow hitting the blanket of snow already in place. The silence was good for me. I found something I really appreciated in the silence, but I wasn't sure how it was possible to feel as small as I did.

Jack wasn't gone long, which was the first hint that something was wrong. He found me easily, which I expected, but what I didn't expect, was the extra scent there with him.

It shocked me in to freezing, my heart dropping. How was this possible?

I stared up at him as he stopped across the yard from where I sat crouched, refusing to even look at Esme beside him, her arm held in his hand. My teeth clenched, anger stealing rational thought for a moment.

I jumped up, sprinting for him. He dropped her to run forward and catch me. His hands closed around my arms, and he jerked me forward, pulling me off balance for a split second long enough to gain the upper hand. Using my sluggish reaction time against me.

To anyone else, I would have seemed to be just as fast as I always was, but not to Jack. Jack knew I would miss half a split second because we've done this many times before.

Esme had time enough to spin around before I was down and pinned in the snow. He trapped my hips between his knees, just the same way he always did as he pinned me with his weight and all the force he could muster. His left hand held my wrists together. His right forearm pressed against my neck.

I fought in anger, only gaining a stinging slap that jarred my whole body.

"Leandra," Esme had come over, glancing at Jack before kneeling beside us, "Honey, it's okay. I asked to come with him."

That was the worst news I could ever hear. She really didn't understand just how bad she'd crushed me with what she said. It was what happened with my mom all over again. I was going to be forced to watch that happen all over again.

I whined, my wordlessly pleading voice full of emotion. Jack flattened his forearm harder against my neck, shutting me up.

"Is that any way to greet a guest?" Jack asked me, "Either be nice, or shut the fuck up."

"Please." Esme murmured, "Let her go."

"See," Jack nodded over at her, but he was looking at me, "Why can't you be like that? Instead, you have to be a bitch."

I didn't bother responding to that. My lack of response was probably what made him climb off of me. I laid there for a second before I rolled over onto my hands and knees.

I could see it as I looked at him. The smug silence, the plan in his eyes. He was overjoyed because Esme had just made it a million times easier for him to get to her. He would find her buttons, and play her right into his trap. He'd managed to get her away from the family, even if she believed it was her choice. Perhaps _because_ it was her choice, and now he could make her believe anything he told her.

I wanted to warn her, but I couldn't. I already had, but she asked to come with him anyway. She might have had a lot of pain ahead of her, but she'd just doomed me as well. It was mainly _me_ Jack wanted to suffer, and this was the sure way to achieve that while closing his fist on another female. He would back her into a corner until he squeezed everything he wanted out of her. He would suffocate and smother until every light in her was gone. It was what he was best at. She didn't realize this. She couldn't even _imagine_.

Carefully, Esme reached out and sat me up, but I turned away from her as soon as I could. I didn't know what else to do. Talking obviously didn't help, because she never listened.

I found the closest corner, the corner of the wall surrounding the front yard, and curled up into it; Facing the corner, rather than the yard. I couldn't watch it happen. I had to detach from whatever emotions he had uncovered by bringing her back here. I had to protect myself, because I knew what was going to happen.

I knew my reaction and lack of response to her hurt her feelings, but it was better like that. Jack might be able to strengthen bonds between people, but I could cut my own bonds. I didn't need him, and right then, I needed to cut the bond I had with Esme.

She'd made a choice to come here, to follow him, and it was the wrong one.

"I like it here." Jack nodded, looking up at the house. I glanced back as Esme moved. Shifting a little from where she kneeled on the ground to reach into her pocket without a response. She pulled out a set of keys, and tossed them at him. He smiled as he caught them, but she really didn't seem happy about this.

"Thank you." Jack smiled at her, already walking toward the front door, "You're too kind."

As he walked inside, Esme moved forward. Straight to me.

"Leandra," She spoke quietly, "I'm sorry. I just couldn't leave you to defend yourself alone." I didn't bother responding. I stayed in my tightly clenched ball, staring at the wall. Every survival instinct in my body told me to shut her out. She was already a goner, even if she was only a goner because of me. I'd gone through everything I had just so she would be safe with everyone else. She refused to accept that. There wasn't anything more I could give to keep her safe. I couldn't help her.

Now, more than ever, I would have given anything to turn off my emotionally exhausted mind. The hopelessness I now felt was crippling.

I couldn't help it, though. It was hurting me too badly to ignore her this way.

Making the sound of a wounded animal, I crawled out of the corner and turned to hug her. I ached emotionally in the worst way, a constant pain that never went away, and I just needed a pair of kind arms.

Of course she returned it.

"You shouldn't have come." I whimpered as silently as I could. I knew she could hear me, but I didn't want Jack hearing me, "It's what he wants. I can't watch it happen to you too."

She pulled back to look at me, gently smoothing my messy hair from my eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"No." I immediately answered, "Esme, I'm so scared. You need to go. You need to run back to the others. I can't take it if he hurts you too. I did what I did so you could live your life without me messing it up."

"That's what you don't seem to understand, honey." She murmured, "That kind of sacrifice deserves someone willing to fight for it. You're very selfless, but our lives just won't be complete until you're there too. Carlisle created you because he wanted you to have a chance at a better quality of life. Not so you can throw yourself into danger, just to keep us safe. That is _not_ your purpose. You're meant for so much better. I'm here to bring you home."

"But it was working." I argued, "He was staying away from you."

"No he wasn't." She replied honestly, "We've seen him every week, sometimes twice a week since you've been gone. He wasn't shy about letting someone know how much you've been suffering." She sighed and studied my face, "You haven't been hunting."

"I can't." I mumbled, looking down, "I'm too tired." Mentally, of course. Physically, I could probably pick her up and throw her, but the mind was a powerful thing. It ran everything, and when I was overwhelmed like this, it affected everything about me.

"Okay." She murmured, turning me to face her, "Close your eyes." Hesitantly I did as she requested, and she softened her voice, "Deep breaths, and mentally, take a step back. First clear your head, then focus on your thoughts and stop fighting it." I frowned a little, but it wasn't hard to figure out what she meant.

Instead of fighting with my thoughts or cringing away from them, I focused on them. Giving them attention they needed almost instantly made them slow down. Manually sorting those thoughts into piles of most important.

As much as I hated it, thoughts of Mikah needed to be moved to the back so I could focus on what I was doing.

"It's okay now." She told me gently, "You're overwhelmed right now, and that's understandable. Just let me protect you, Leandra. For once, let me protect you." I opened my eyes again and looked at her.

"You don't deserve that." I whimpered, "You're a good person."

"And you do deserve it?"

"Yes."

"Why?" She asked, "Sweetie, you're just a child."

"I deserve it because I knew from the start what Jack would do if I ever left." I replied quietly, "He raised me telling me the things he'd do if I ever told anyone or left him. It's my fault that he knows who you are at all, so it's my job to fix it and keep him away from you."

I flinched a little as she gently but firmly took my cheeks between her hands.

"That isn't your job." Her tone was firm as well, "You are a child. You are not responsible for the things Jack does. You are never responsible for the decisions someone else makes. It is not your job to fix anything, and it's not your job to comply with whatever he wants so he'll be happy. It is your job to take care of you, and let yourself be loved."

I pulled back then.

"That's what he calls it." I admitted, looking down.

"Leandra," She said after a moment, "I need to know. Has he hurt you?"

Immediately, without really thinking about it, I answered, "Yeah. All the time." I only thought she wanted to know so she could tell whether or not she needed to leave, but after I'd already said it, I knew I needed to fix it. She wouldn't take it like that.

I added, quieter, "But I'm okay. I always am."

We both looked over as Jack seemed to take that as his cue to come back outside. Esme stood up, and I instantly followed, knowing she wasn't happy to have heard my report.

"You." He pointed at me, "Inside." I glanced over at Esme apologetically before I slowly did as he told me.

As I was crossing the yard toward the door, I came to realize what he was doing. I was old enough to understand now. He was using us both against each other. I complied in hopes he wouldn't bother Esme, and I knew she would walk right into the same way of thinking as well. She would comply, in hopes of making it easier on me. It was the perfect set up, and with that, he could do anything he wanted.

I paused mid-step as that thought crossed my mind, looking back at Esme.

"Go." Jack barked, and realization or not, I almost continued on out of habit, but I stopped again half a step later.

"No." I snapped, turning to look at him again, "I said I would go along with it if you left them alone. You didn't."

"She wanted to come see you." He snapped, and I shook my head.

"You've been bugging them for weeks." I argued, "That's not leaving them alone." He reached out, and in the split second I had to debate, I decided not to react. I let him catch me. I instantly tensed as he jerked me closer, closing my eyes and clenching my teeth.

I hardly had time to feel the pressure of his hand on my neck before it was suddenly gone. I stumbled a little as I was dropped back to my feet, but I was fine. My eyes snapped open to look over, spotting Esme immediately as Jack was about four feet away, recovering from the shove she'd given him.

"Leave her alone." She was warning him, but he found it funny.

"Then you get her ass inside." He replied, "Either way, she gets the fuck in the house."

I clenched my teeth again, reaching over and taking her hand. I tugged her with me, and after a few steps, she followed me. I needed to talk to her a little more before she really pissed him off.

The front door slammed behind us, and I knew with us both in here, it would be easier to keep track of us. We stood in silence for a second, listening to him walk away.

"You can't do that." I murmured to her as she hugged me, "That's not how it works."

"I'm not about to stand back and watch." She replied softly as I returned her hug.

"No." I said, "Just listen for a second." I paused, but she stayed silent, so I went on, "He's gonna keep doing that. He's gonna keep making reasons for you to stand up to him. He's gonna let you win a few times, and he's gonna let you think you're protecting me, but after that, he's gonna turn it around on you." I couldn't help whimpering, "I can't let that happen, even if he's doing the same thing to me."

"What do you mean?" She asked, pulling me back and looking at me.

"He's gonna let me think I'm protecting you by listening to him." I replied, "Like it's been the last few weeks. I never tore his head off, no matter how much I wanted to just to make it stop, but I never did because I knew if I missed, he would use you and the others against me to punish me."

"I can do it." She assured me, "Honey, I'm only biding time until he lets his guard down." I understood what she was saying, and I realized that she was right. This whole time, he's been guarded. Leaving no room for her to pounce.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"No." I mumbled, shaking my head a little, "That won't work either. If you miss-"

"I won't." She cut that off, "I'm familiar with what it would take."

"But you're not familiar with him." I countered, "He's _fast_. And he's not stupid."

Our conversation quieted to silence as we heard him coming back. I immediately moved back, though, as I knew what he had ran off to do. The human heartbeat was fast and steady, but not a sound left him.

"Dinner time." Jack walked in, carrying the human easily by the neck. I hadn't hunted in days, and it was all I could do not to pounce on him still in Jack's hand. Esme moved back as well, but that was all I could see as I turned away. Covering my nose and mouth with both hands. I didn't dare take another breath, because I knew the second I started to, I would lose my mind.

He was only doing this to prove how thoroughly he owned me. The slowly suffocating human was kicking feebly off his feet, and I chanced a glance over. It was nobody I recognized, so I felt myself trying to give in. It was just one person.

"Honey," Esme murmured, "It's okay." I looked up at her, keeping my hands over my mouth and nose. I didn't want to lose it in front of her. I'd worked so hard to make the family believe that I had what it took to resist.

"Get your ass over here." Jack snapped at me, "Before he spoils."

"You need it." Esme murmured to me, "I understand." She wouldn't hate me for it. With a chuckle, Jack held the human higher before letting him drop toward the floor.

I was on him before he even hit the floor.

Jack chuckled again, stepping back to watch. I made sure to snap his neck first, just so he wouldn't feel what I was about to do, but that was it for my consideration.

I didn't stop to see the fear in his eyes, or the way they stilled. I didn't listen to the fading heartbeat or the shallower breath. I didn't stop to consider the mess I was making when I couldn't catch his blood flooding out of the gash I'd just ripped free in my haste.

"You can't compete with that." Jack was saying, laughter in his voice, "It's fucking ridiculous to expect a vampire to hunt animals. It's stupid."

"She can learn." Esme replied bitterly, "You underestimate what a family can mean to someone."

"How adorable." Jack smirked, "You'll all be weak together."

I stopped listening, paying more attention to the strength returning to me. I couldn't help whimpering, knowing I'd just go through all this again in a few days.

I sat back when I could, as I usually did when I was done with a feed, just to collect myself again. I didn't recognize this person any more than I did before I tore his throat to pieces, but that didn't stop me from suddenly feeling bad.

"Good job." Jack piped up sarcastically, "Look at the fucking mess you made." I turned away from what I'd done, looking back at them standing there.

Esme honestly seemed concerned, but I didn't see the disappointment I worried about. I didn't feel ashamed, but I did feel bad. Jack was just as smug as he always was as he leaned over toward Esme.

"That's really something, isn't it?" He asked her in a whisper, "It's the coolest thing, seeing a kid literally rip someone's throat out, but still be so small and fucking _cute_."

At the last word, she'd clearly had enough, as she started forward toward me, and I easily took her offered hand. It wasn't so much to help me stand up, but more to show that she supported me as I stood up. I fought it, but I couldn't help admitting that it felt nice to not be alone.

I hated that reminder of my last human day alive. It poked a wound I wasn't aware I still had. Esme had held my hand in that bedroom that day, begging me to give up and let them help me. To listen to Carlisle, and agree.

She'd already meant a lot to me then, and I would never tell her now how close I was to agreeing that day. Had she asked me one more time, I would have given up.

She held my hand now like she held it then. I instantly saw the similarities, and I understood what she wanted me to do. It was an unspoken understanding.

It felt like she was asking me to choose them instead of choosing Jack.

I looked away from our connected hands, over to Jack. I wasn't _choosing_ to be here, but it was pretty obvious that what Esme was here to do would be a thousand times easier if I helped her. Especially after I'd just hunted. She wanted me to help her kill him, and he didn't even know it.

As much as I hated him for all he'd done, I was afraid. Asking me to do something like this was almost impossible, which was why I knew she'd never outright ask me to do it.

"What the fuck are you staring at?" Jack reminded me that I needed to look away.

 **A/N: I do apologize for how long this has taken. Long explanation short, I was spending the last few days mapping out the rest of the story. It was a bit interesting, but I won't say anything more on that right now. ;)  
And my 16 month old son is determined to let me know that he hates me. It's a battle of wills here, guys. I may not survive the terrible two's.  
THANK YOU! To my AMAZING reviewers! AAAAND.. HUGE MEGA DOUBLE THANK YOU to the GUEST who left their review tonight, kicking me in the butt to get out this update. You're totally right. **  
**I honestly hope this chapter doesn't seem too rushed. I did what I could to fix it up, and I hope you enjoyed it. Even if I do want to kick Jack in the face myself.**  
 **ANYHOO!**  
 **As I said, I've pretty much finished the story, so here on out, I will do my best to update more regularly. (;**  
 **Until eight, my friends!**


	8. Chapter 8

**ImPORTANT NOTE!: Sensitive topics in this chapter. Be warned, and proceed with CAUTION. This story is rated 'M'.**

 **Chapter Eight**

I tried as hard as I could to give Esme my best, 'I can't help you' look.

"What are you standing around for?" Jack snapped, taking my attention back, "Clean up that fucking mess." He was talking to me.

So I sighed, released Esme's hand, and turned to the bloody body lying there. I lifted it and the rug easily, and walked outside. I admit, I took my time finding a good spot to leave him. Someplace where the animals would handle whatever was left.

I had a lot on my mind. Everything I'd gone through, just to prevent this very thing from happening, angered me in a way. She was supposed to stay safe, not volunteer to jump right into the lion's cage with me. In a way, it was like she didn't believe I could do it, but truthfully, I had my own doubts.

She seemed confident she could take care of the problem once he let his guard down, but what she didn't know was that he _never_ let his guard down. He'd learned already by living with me that letting his guard down would be stupid.

"Sorry, guy." I muttered, setting the body down in the middle of the forest. I thought about burning it, but I needed these woods. I didn't particularly want them to burn down too. I thought about burying him, but someone would eventually find that. People disappeared every day, and he was dead. He wouldn't really care if animals took care of the rest for me.

I turned around, and caught an approaching scent. It was just Cole. He must have crossed my scent heading this way, so I decided to wait and chat with him. I couldn't force myself to go back just yet, and I hadn't been able to talk to him since I last saw him. Since he brought Carlisle back.

I greeted him with a sad smile when he arrived, but he seemed concerned.

"Didn't Carlisle find you?" He asked and I sighed.

"Yeah." I replied, "But.. It didn't really help. I just needed him to know what was going on, but I think that made everything worse."

"I'm sorry, honey." He sighed as well, "I really hoped it would help."

"I know." I nodded, and I stopped and thought for a second. Maybe he could help Esme. Cole was much stronger than me, and would definitely be of some help to her, but I hesitated. Why the fuck wouldn't I jump at any opportunity to rip Jack apart? I shouldn't have been, but I was deeply conflicted.

"What's wrong?" He asked, concerned again.

"Nothing." I mumbled, "I'm just.. Dealing with a lot right now."

"Do you need me to contact Carlisle again?"

"No." I immediately replied, "Thanks, but.. He already knows."

"I see." He said, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Kill me now?" I suggested, only half joking.

"That bad, huh?" He asked, his expression sad, "If things are that bad, honey, let me help. What can I do?"

I pursed my lips, hesitating. I couldn't do it, though.

"I can't." I eventually murmured, "I can't bring in more people."

"Why not?"

"That's one more person I have to protect." I sighed, with a shrug, "I can't even protect myself. How am I gonna protect more?" He hesitated, but he approached. It was like he was trying not to offend me by coming closer.

Out of his jacket, he produced an old bit of cloth. Holding it out for me. I frowned at it, puzzled as I looked up at him.

"You're a mess, sweetheart." He admitted, and I remembered. I took the cloth from him and used it to clean off my face. Blood was never hard to clean off of skin like ours. Especially after it had dried. Once I knew I was mostly cleaned up, I handed it back to him.

"Thank you." I mumbled. He studied me as he placed the cloth back in his jacket, sighing.

"That look in those eyes breaks my heart." He admitted, "Please tell me what's going on. I know I can help somehow."

"I can't." I repeated quietly, "And that reminds me. I need to get back. Thank you, though, for trying to help." He seemed like he wanted to keep insisting, but he never did.

With that, I got moving again. I really wasn't sure why I expected him _not_ to follow me, especially with what all I'd let slip in our brief conversation, but he did. He trailed after me. Not too closely, probably in case I found his actions offensive, but I knew I just needed to get there. I'd already taken too long as it was.

I immediately cursed myself for taking so long when I walked back in to find Jack pinning Esme to the wall. He wasn't hurting her, just talking to her, but I ran over anyway, and Cole followed.

"Hey." Cole ushered me aside gently when I couldn't make Jack budge, "What's wrong with you? You don't treat females that way." Cole actually pulled him off of her, and Esme moved away. Coming straight to my side with a glare in Jack's direction.

I could see the struggle in Jack's eyes to control his temper, but I knew with one look that he wasn't happy I'd brought someone with me. I would pay for that mistake later, but for now, Jack lightened his tone.

"I'm sorry." He chuckled, "I know, and I'm not usually like that, but.. She's been on my nerves all day like you wouldn't believe."

"That doesn't matter." Cole frowned, glancing back at us, "You never treat them like that, no matter what they've done."

"She's fine." Jack looked at Esme beside me, "You're fine, right?"

She sighed, looking at Cole, "I'm alright. Thank you."

Cole still seemed unsure, so Jack upped his game.

"Come on." Jack said with a laugh, "Let's talk." He hesitated, but he allowed Jack to walk him outside. Shutting the front door behind them. The whole way, I watched after them. I worried for Cole, but I couldn't exactly warn him without making it worse for myself. Jack was unstable at best, but I could see as Cole looked back at me that he wasn't stupid.

"I'm sorry." I immediately whimpered, "I should have come right back-" I cut off as she suddenly hugged me tightly. Of course, I returned it, but I was confused.

"Honey," She said, smoothing the back of my head gently, "If I had known what exactly you were going through, I would have been here immediately." I closed my eyes in despair. He'd told her.

That definitely explained why he had her pinned. She probably snapped, trying to take him out right then when he started bragging about what he'd done to me so far, but he was used to me. Esme's reflexes were nowhere near as fast as mine were, so he overpowered her easily.

"I did all that so you could stay safe." I mumbled against her shoulder, "I didn't want you to come here, because if you stayed there, then he couldn't do all that to you."

"If he thinks he's getting the best of me," She assured me, "He's sadly mistaken. Don't you worry about me, sweetheart. I've had my fair share of experience with men like him."

"There aren't any men like him." I countered, looking up at her and she looked down at me, "Nobody in the world is like Jack."

"Don't worry." She insisted, one hand smoothing my cheek, "I'm here now. I will protect you." I hated hearing that. He'd made the decision for her. By telling her what I'd been dealing with, and being truthful about it, he made her determined to take my place.

I couldn't help appreciating the comfort, though. She gave it so easily. I just whimpered, holding onto her tighter. I didn't want to see her get hurt. The last time I was in a situation like this, my mom didn't make it out alive. I was so afraid of seeing that happen again, I promised myself that I would do whatever it took to keep that from happening.

Now that Jack was sure he had her where he wanted her mentally, he would move to the next step. I couldn't tell Esme this, because she would just assume I didn't know what I was talking about. Not only would it not do any good, but it would make her doubt. Which would make it easier for Jack.

"I know what he's doing." I mumbled sadly, "And you can't even see it."

"God," Jack suddenly stepped back into the house, "He was annoying." For a second, I worried about Cole again, until he slammed the door behind him and looked right at me.

"I didn't tell him to follow me." I immediately explained, "He just did."

"Well, now we don't have to worry about him." He snapped, "No thanks to your dumb ass, I got him to leave."

I felt relieved that he let Cole leave. That was probably a mistake on his part, but I wasn't complaining.

"And _this_ ," He walked over, gesturing to Esme and I, "Needs to fucking stop. She's not a fucking baby." With that, he literally pried me free from her arms, shoving me back. I flinched at the sound of stone hitting stone, wincing as I realized he must have hit her.

When I righted myself, I looked over. He had a solid hold of her left arm, but he was looking at me. Pointing at me with his free hand when I started to walk back over. I stopped in my tracks.

"Don't piss me off any more than I already am." He growled, and I knew he wasn't in the mood to tell me twice.

He turned his attention to Esme now, jerking her around and shoving her toward the stairs. He kept her constantly off balance, staying one step behind her. I instantly got angry, seeing her treated like that.

I wasn't thinking as I ran forward, slamming my fist against his side.

He rounded with a growl and a closed fist of his own, catching me right upside the head. I was knocked off my feet, hitting the solid brick of the fireplace face first.

He paused long enough to punch Esme next for fighting back, before he was coming for me again. That punch seemed to daze her as she sat down on the step, but I was used to it. I sprang into a crouch at his approach, but that didn't slow him down.

He reached for me, and dodging my teeth, gripped my head in between both of his hands. He yanked me upright and off my feet, holding me face to face, eye level with him as I glared at him. Scrambling, kicking at him.

"I fucking told you." He growled, shaking me, "But I'll tell you one more time. Sit down, shut the fuck up, and be a good little bitch before I make sure you _can't_ punch me anymore."

"Leave her alone." I growled through clenched teeth, "Or-"

"Or what?" He snapped, bringing me closer, and my intimidation skyrocketed. My voice died in my throat, and I could feel the fear replace the anger in my eyes. I couldn't help it. He went on, "That's what I fucking thought. You interrupt me again, you'll find out fast what happens-"

He cut off, suddenly dropping me as he rounded. I landed on my feet, jumping back in surprise. Esme had gotten back up, but she wasn't the same person I'd ever seen. I'd never seen her act like this.

She was on his back, one arm around his neck. He wasn't having that, though. She'd gotten that far, but he was ending that now. He reached back with both hands, gripping her tight by the hair and flipping her over his shoulder. Prying her hold loose and slamming her to the floor.

"Bitch!" He snarled at her, bringing his foot down right on her neck and pinning her there, "Shit."

She had almost had him, and the fact that she failed just made it harder, but seeing her pinned that way made me run forward. Unfortunately, right into his hands. He gripped me tight, almost tight enough to damage. He turned me around, balling his fist in my hair and bending me at the waist to look down at Esme.

"See this?" He growled violently, "This is what happens. You made this happen." She was trying to speak, but she couldn't.

"Why are you even mad at her?" I shouted, closing my eyes, "She didn't do anything!"

He brought me back upright, but he was taking his time answering. I knew she wasn't in danger just holding her breath, but one wrong twitch of his foot, just a bit more pressure, and he could seriously hurt her. She knew this as well, which would explain why she wasn't fighting. He had her in an extremely dangerous position. Fighting would cause him to fight back.

"Hmm.." He mused sarcastically, "I don't know, bitch. You tell me. What did she do?"

I held my breath, thinking back to what had just happened. He'd pulled me away from her, and I recalled the sound I'd heard. The slap.

That must have been Esme hitting him, not the other way around.

"She fought back." I mumbled as he kept pressuring me with his expectant gaze.

"She fought back." He confirmed, "And _what_ is the one thing I hate?" He waited, leaning his ear toward me.

"Fighting back." I answered, bitterly now. I was getting the message loud and clear. If I wanted him to let her up, I needed to stop.

"And you _know_ the only reason this is happening is because of you." He growled, "She wouldn't even be here like this if it wasn't for you."

I _hated_ this. It was always the same with him. He would do something like this, and find a reason to blame me. Something I'd done to result in him having to retaliate.

He did it with my mother. He did it when Heather got hurt my last night as a human, and he was doing it again. He was doing it again, and worse yet, I started to believe him. I could see right through his plan, and yet, I was believing him when he told me it was my fault.

Without another word, he picked me up and literally threw me across the room.

"Stay." He snarled the second I landed near the kitchen. I scrambled back, situating myself with my back against the wall. Keeping my eyes down, aside from a small glance over as he reached down, hauling Esme back to her feet by her hair and neck like she didn't weigh a thing. I cringed at the thought of the force he must have been using with her.

He glanced to me, and I immediately looked down. He started again for the stairs, believing I'd learned my lesson.

I'd tried to help her, but I'd just made it worse. Just like I always did. I was torn, however. I couldn't just let him drag her off. I needed to do something, but what could I do? I was only a little stronger than she was.

"Up the stairs." Jack repeated condescendingly, practically dragging her, "Let's readjust that fucking attitude. The way your pathetic husband won't."

But I was faster. By far.

I stood up again just as he reached the second floor with her. I growled a little to myself. I wasn't going to let him do this. Not again.

I started running before he even realized I was up. Fortunately, I saw an opening as I raced up the stairs. I ran right into him with as much force as I could gather, knocking us both off our feet but freeing Esme as he let her go to brace for my impact.

As we landed on the second floor hallway, I managed just one punch to his face but that wasn't near enough. He brought his arm up while I was landing that punch and brought it down over me. Knocking me off of him, to the side and pinning me at the same time.

"Fuck!" He shouted, and I knew I'd hurt him.

I immediately looked toward Esme, in the split moments before he got up.

"Go." I told her, but she wasn't budging. She had her chance to run away, and she wasn't taking it. She just started toward us right as Jack landed a very punishing kick to my side. She reached him before I even hit the wall, so he was distracted when I landed on my feet. I crouched for a second as I recovered from that kick, but I was instantly running at him again.

He kicked Esme back just in time to catch me. I knocked him back off his feet, finding the only grip I could, and that was his arm, but in his instant roll, I'd lost my grip and was flattened under him at the same time. I struggled, but my teeth were nowhere near him at this point, and now, his arm was free.

I groaned at the position I'd landed in, his weight over me forcing me against the floor. Just like it always did.

But this time, she never came to get him off me. Glancing around as much as I could, I no longer saw her. She wasn't here anymore.

"Well.." Jack growled, the effort he was using straining his voice, "Looks like you're on your own now, doesn't it? Just you and me. Just like old times." He laughed as I fought, laying himself almost completely over me now. Staying clear of my mouth as he readjusted his grip and weight.

I felt what was on his mind a second later, and that panicked me into looking around again. It was just us here, and her scent was fading fast.

"Oh, don't worry." He murmured against my cheek, "It's called 'catch and release'. It makes them believe they're in control. She'll be back. They always are, but.. We can't stay here." With that, he stood up, forcing me upright with him.

I wasn't sure what would come when he got me where he wanted me, but I'd done my job. I'd finally made her see that I was right all along. He walked me outside and gave a quick look around before he started us running north.

"I mean it, Jack." I whimpered in the position he had me. He forced me along by the back of my neck, "I'll really help her next time. Leave them alone, or-"

He cut me off with a laugh, "Adorable."

"Stay away from them." I ignored that, "You don't know who you're after."

"I don't give a fuck." He replied, "All I care about is that what we're doing is working."

"I'm _not_ helping you." I snapped, forcing my feet down. He tightened his grip on my neck as soon as he felt me stopping. He forced himself to stop right along with me.

I twisted as I felt his feet dig in as well, breaking his hold and rolling the opposite direction. By the time he'd fully turned to face me, I was running forward. He was ready, though, so as soon as he felt the impact of me hitting him, knocking him off his feet, he wrapped his arms around me in a bear-hug from hell.

We finished the momentum together. Barrel rolling to a stop several feet from where I'd refused to go any further. The dirt hadn't even started to settle before he was landing a very disorienting fist against my head. He didn't even wait for that disorientation to completely register to me. He rolled away, kneeled up and gripped my hair. By the time I started to shake it off, he was forcing me down onto my back. His forearm braced heavily against my collarbone, his other arm still gripping my hair and pinning my head back.

Most of his weight rested on my hips as he laid over me. One of my arms was pinned behind me, between my back and the ground, and the other completely pinned at the shoulder by his forearm. His knee was braced on the ground between my knees, preventing me from using my legs to kick him off me or to coordinate a struggle.

I might have been fast, but once he got the upper hand, he kept it. He was really good at getting the upper hand. I attempted a struggle, but he countered easily.

"Stop it." He hissed down at me through clenched teeth, "Now, I told you what was gonna happen. I fucking told you how it was going to work. I _always_ get what I want. One way or another. You don't have to fucking help me. You help me by being alive."

He paused, letting me struggle again. I managed to get the arm behind my back free by arching just right. I immediately swung my fist at him, beating on him as hard as I could. He just captured that one with the arm across my collar bone.

When I growled in frustration, he kept talking.

"Your lost-puppy look is priceless. It's fucking perfect. For whatever reason, she cares about you. Her motherly instincts are set on you, and the more you _need_ her, the faster she'll come running."

"Get off of me." I growled, but my voice trembled. I didn't want to hear this. He was telling me that by even existing at this point, I was putting Esme in danger. In response, his hand moved from my hair to my neck and he pressed his nose against my cheek. I knew he felt the way my teeth clenched.

"Let's give you more of a reason to _need_ her." He murmured, and I felt the gravel in his voice against my face. I _hated_ it when he did that, and he knew it, so he did it often.

So many times being pinned like this had ended in really painful ways, and I knew this would be no different.

"Now," He went on, "When she comes back, make sure you let her know. You tell her what I did. I _want_ that mama bear fight. I'm counting on it."

He lifted up to reach between us, and in reflex, I brought my legs up in an attempt to fight. It occurred to me as it was happening that this particular position left him vulnerable in a very sensitive spot. I didn't realize this until he tried to drop his hips again to pin me once more, but my knee was already coming up at the exact same time.

I felt his entire body tense instantly as my knee made a rather large impact on him. Unfortunately, though, he didn't release me. His tension only made him hold tighter, and it was really painful for me. Particularly my neck.

He growled a long groan of pain, dropping his head for a moment. I knew when he didn't lift his head up right away, he was in a lot of pain, so I must have gotten him good, but that was the least of my worries currently. He was holding too tight, squeezing his fingers into my skin.

"Jack.." I whimpered, letting him know I was starting to really panic. I would never have tried to talk to him when he was in pain like this, but I was actually convinced he was about to do some real, physical damage.

"Is that how you want to play it?" He growled, lifting his head again to look at me.

"I didn't mean to." I tried to say, but talking was getting difficult. He released his hold, and while I instantly started to recover, he sat up. Now straddling my stomach, his weight still held me easily, but he wasn't about to tear my head off anymore, so all I could do was lay there in relief as I healed.

That relief was short lived as he landed a punch to the side of my head.

"You're gonna make it up to me." He murmured, and I knew by his tone exactly what he meant.

I _was_ sorry for what I'd done, but I wasn't about to let that happen. I was still too mad at him. His knees were on either side of me, but a little further than usual. In a burst of energy, I placed both hands down on his thighs, and shoved. I slid out from under him, freeing myself. I turned over onto my knees and hands, scrambling to get away.

His hands captured my hips, and he yanked me back to him. I couldn't let him get a solid hold of me. If he did that, then I was done for.

I kicked back at him as hard as I could, and I knew the blows I landed were hurting him, but easily enough, he leaned over me, gathering my arms and removing their support from under me. I twisted a bit as he pressed my upper body down into the dirt, my arms in his hands and restrained off to one side.

"There you go." Jack chuckled, "Just _relax_." He was always amused by my effort to fight. While keeping my arms restrained, he used his other hand to pull my right leg out from under me, but to the side, causing me to flatten to the ground while he lowered with me. My left leg remained bent at the knee, but with almost all my weight and all of his weight combined almost centered on that one spot, I couldn't move it.

This was the one position he knew he could keep me still. I never begged anymore. As soon as I felt his unforgiving weight pinning me to the dirt, I gave up. I'd been here enough times to know when it was pointless, and I needed to just hide.

Hiding was interesting to me. I just stopped paying attention to Jack altogether, keeping my eyes off to the side. Usually I found some tree or something to stare at, but I didn't care what I was looking at. I just buried my conscious mind in thoughts like furniture in front of a door. Barricading myself in my own head until I was sure it was okay to come out. Knowing Jack, that would be about an hour.

While I was there, I thought about possible ways out of the whole situation with Esme. He was still focused on her, and I absolutely hated the idea that just by being alive, I was helping him get what he wanted. I cringed at the thought that what he wanted was her like he currently had me.

No, I thought. That couldn't happen.

I never should have thought he'd give up on her that easily. That was my worst mistake. Maybe it was because I always gave up? He said he wanted her to fight. I never fought anymore, because I always thought that that was what he wanted. I thought if I did what he wanted, he wouldn't need to bother them again.

I was so confused. It really didn't make sense to me.

I always thought that I knew Jack better than anyone on the planet, but sometimes, he did things that made no sense to me, but I didn't care. If I was here, it meant Esme wasn't. If I could keep her from feeling like this, the way I felt right now, I would do anything. Even if it meant living while dead inside.

That thought didn't make me fight this time. I was so disconnected, an ability I was extremely grateful for, I didn't bother. I'd always had the ability to hide away in my head when something was happening that I couldn't face, but now, it was so much more effective than it'd ever been. If there was one thing Jack taught me, it was that I needed to get good at it, and fast.

Unfortunately for me, while I was biding my time with thoughts that needed to be sorted through, I couldn't _not_ feel. It was how I always knew when it was safe to run away from him. It was how I always knew when it was safe to come out.

The pain was still the same as it always was, but in a different way. There would be no lingering soreness after a few minutes, no reminder I was ever really hurt, but it stayed. Like emotional and mental scars up like tally marks that only he and I could see.

I wondered if he would let me run this time. I wondered if it was even safe to run. Should I run, or should I stay, and make sure he didn't immediately go for Esme? My instincts were to run, and he knew I would always come back eventually. I had no choice, and we both knew it.

He could do whatever he wanted to me, and that was it. He didn't even have to be careful, and he certainly knew it. I never would have even imagined how bad it could get before when we were human.

I felt his weight finally lift off of me, and whether I knew it was safe or not, I jumped up, grabbed my jeans up off the ground in a tight fist and I took off running.

"Seattle." He called, a quiet chuckle in his voice, but he didn't stop me.

I ran back the way we came, straight for the house. It was the only form of safety I knew I could find so close. I pulled on my jeans mid-run, which was another skill I'd learned how to do, and rounded the back of the house as soon as I reached it. I wasn't going back inside.

Tonight had been particularly rough. I was having a hard time processing exactly what he'd done differently this time, and it was taking a minute to heal from that. It was much the same as he always did, but it was different in the way it lingered.

I crouched in the backyard of the house, whimpering. I didn't know what else to do while I healed, but I _did_ heal. I was really beginning to hate that feature. Sometimes I truly wished he'd just killed me, and tonight, I wished that even more.

I actually felt the fear sticking around, and that pressed me to do something really stupid.

I had to find Mikah. If he was okay, I would be okay.

I knew it was too late at night for him to be at work, so yet again, I went looking at his house. The same house I knew from the vision, and the same house I'd been in the last time I saw him. I found my way in through the bathroom window yet again, and given the fact that everyone was asleep, it was too easy.

I was risking _so_ much by being here, but I couldn't help it. I needed to see him. I'd just see him, and leave.

The house was silent, aside from the eight sleeping heartbeats contained inside. None of them knew I was in here, and I would keep it that way.

I found his room easily, and I knew it would be more risky with both of his sisters, Alyssa and Emily, sleeping in the same room, but I would be silent. The door was already pushed open a bit, so it was easy to slip in.

The replaced alarm clock surprisingly still worked, and now read 1:34am. I wasn't surprised everyone was asleep.

I crossed the room silently, carefully kneeling beside his bed. Putting the lightest amount of pressure against the side of his mattress. He seemed to be feeling better. He no longer had the 'sick' scent, and his heartbeat was normal.

I hated myself for being here, but I was happy I'd come. He stirred a bit in his sleep, and I shrank down a little, but he just rolled over onto his side with a sigh.

I crawled over a little, just so I could see his face behind the blanket. He was out cold, so I felt okay with staying here for a minute. I wondered what he was dreaming about. I remembered dreaming, and I didn't miss it one bit. With all the nightmares I always had in my head as a human, sleeping for the sake of dreaming didn't appeal to me.

I was only there an hour, before that peace was shattered.

I had no warning, no indication that he was waking up, but he suddenly sat up and flipped the blanket back. I shrank down again, tensing as I quickly looked for a place to move. I crawled back, stopping just short of knocking into a dresser as he stood up and left the room. He never even saw me, but given the direction of his footsteps, he was headed for the bathroom.

In the mean time, though, Alyssa rolled over, no longer asleep as a result of his getting up quickly. I had to get out of there. I darted forward as she sat up next, crouching flat against the end of her and Emily's bed, but that put me in the middle of the doorway, so I kept going. Out into and up the hall, and hiding on the other side of three laundry baskets next to the bathroom.

Alyssa came out, grumbling about him needing to be more quiet, and she started down the stairs. Turning on the hallway light as she did so. Surrounding me in light as the bathroom door opened next to me.

I tensed, but I didn't run. Looking up at Mikah as he stopped and stared down at me.

"Oh shit." He muttered, surprised to see me. Probably taking in the tense fear in my eyes. His surprise faded, and he nodded a little, "Meet me outside."

I nodded and scurried passed his feet, stepping up onto the side of the bathtub and scooted out the window.

I dropped to my feet on the snowy ground outside, preparing to wait, but he really didn't take that long. I heard him first grab a heavy coat and step into a pair of shoes before turning on the back porch light and opening the back door.

He spotted me easily, giving a glance back into the dark house before stepping out.

"Okay," He whispered, wrapping his coat tighter around him, "That's twice that you're in my house."

I stepped back as he started to descend the steps into the rest of the backyard, following him before coming back to his other side. His footsteps were loud in the snow, but mine were much quieter. I had a naturally light step, so that wasn't much of a surprise.

He must not have heard me walking, as he seemed confused at first as he looked up. I realized then that I'd moved quieter than I should have moved around him. I wasn't as careful with myself, and that was a bad sign.

"Over here." I sighed, and he turned around. The cold air outside bit at the skin of his cheeks and nose, and I could instantly see the reaction it was having. In the time it took him to get down the steps, his skin had turned a rosy pink color.

"There's gotta be some boundaries set here." He told me, and I hated his scolding voice. I looked down, and whatever else he was going to say became an exasperated sigh as he bounced a little in an effort to warm up. He spoke again, "It's a little _creepy_ waking up to find someone else in the house."

"I'm sorry." I replied honestly, "But sometimes, you're not awake when I need to see you."

"There's a front door." He said, nodding a little, "If you need to talk or something, I'm more than happy to listen to anything you have to say, but you have to do some reciprocating here." I frowned a little, confused by what he meant.

He took a breath, seeing the caution in my eyes. He sighed as he crouched down in front of me.

"I'm more than happy to listen," He said, "But _you_ have to be willing to talk." I felt better now that I understood what he meant.

"I _want_ to." I argued, my voice bouncing a little in frustration, "I just don't know if I can trust you not to freak out."

"Did I freak out about this?" He asked, gesturing to all of me. I shook my head, so he went on, "I didn't freak out when you showed up in my house twice-"

"You kinda just did.." I pointed out quietly.

He ignored that, going on, "I didn't freak out when you moved eight feet in a blink of an eye. I didn't freak out when you climbed out of the window of my _second floor_ bathroom like a gecko. I'm not freaking out to see you standing out here, no jacket, in the snow, not bothered at all in seventeen degrees of snowy weather."

"I get it." I pouted.

"Whatever you have to say, Leandra, I can take it." He replied, "You need someone to talk to and to trust, and I'm happy to be that person if you've chosen me. You just have to actually _talk. To. Me_." Every word he said became visible in the puffs of breath in front of him. I felt so bad that he was freezing, so I knew I should hurry this up.

"I-I just.." I looked away, "I don't know. I had to see you."

"Why?" He asked, "Leandra, I don't understand you sometimes. I swear, the way you talk, it's like you've known me for years, and it's like you expect me to have known you." He really seemed concerned.

"Well, I don't know." I countered defensively, frustrated, "I just did have to see you. If you're okay, I'm okay. That's how it always is."

"I understand that." He said, "But why?"

"Because.." I hesitated for a second before I mumbled, "You're my normal." His expression softened. I went on, "I didn't come to hurt anybody."

"You seem pretty concerned about whether or not I think you're dangerous." He prompted, and I looked down. He spoke a little more gently, "Is it.. Because of how you look?"

"I'm not dangerous because of how I look." I muttered, "I can't answer you. I _just_.. I need you to be okay."

"I'm okay." He assured me easily, more concerned, "But what made you come here in the middle of the night?"

"I can't answer that either." I whispered, keeping my eyes down. I couldn't even look at him. He had a face that just made me want to be totally honest.

"Okay." He nodded, "Okay, but.. Can you tell me why you're not freezing your butt off?"

Carefully, I brought my hand up and touched his cheek with just my fingertips. The temperature of his skin burned against my fingers, which really emphasized how different we were.

I answered, despite his deepening concern, "I'm colder than the snow." He'd felt my temperature before, but now he seemed more worried as he reached up and took my hand in both of his. Somehow it was more prominent while it was so cold around us. It set more of an example.

I looked at both of his hands wrapped around mine, and something about the sight bothered me. It made me feel uneasy, and I frowned before looking back up at him. He didn't seem to notice a difference in me, because he still seemed concerned at my temperature. I didn't want him to worry too much.

"I don't feel it." I went on anyway, "You don't have to try to warm me up. It won't work. You'll just make your hands cold."

Regardless, he kept hold of my hand, but he studied my face in the light coming from the back porch. I stood there silently, just trying to take the support he offered by holding my hand. I needed every bit of his support that I could get.

Even through the snow, I knew he was getting a good look at me. I read his expression as closely as I could.

"What are you?" He finally whispered, but he seemed more amazed than anything. I didn't say anything. I couldn't claim 'human' because he wasn't stupid. His rapidly cooling thumb felt the back of my hand. To him, it would be smooth as silk, frozen porcelain. Where his cheeks flushed brightly in the cold, his breath visible in puffs floating away from his face, I did neither. I stayed as pale as I always did, no puffs from me.

"I wish I could tell you." I admitted honestly. Sadly.

"I'm not going to freak out." He promised, but I looked down.

He didn't know how tempted I was, but I couldn't bring that on him. I cared about him too much.

"You should sleep." I mumbled finally, and he sighed. I knew he agreed. He was tired. He didn't seem like he wanted to let me back out of giving him an answer, but at the same time, I knew he didn't want to press it. I was skittish as it was. Pressing would only make that worse.

"Visit tomorrow?" He prompted, "I'll be at work at noon."

"You want me to?" I asked, "Even after I was in your house?"

He chuckled a little, his smile and nod making me feel a little better, "Even after you were in my house. Please? I'd love to know you're okay."

"I'll try." I replied hesitantly, "I don't know if I can. I might be, uh.. A little busy, but I'll try to be there."

"Okay." He accepted that, "No more sneaking into people's houses, okay?"

"Just yours." I joked lightly, and I couldn't help smiling.

He laughed in response, "This is gonna happen again, isn't it?"

"Probably." I replied honestly, and he laughed again.

"Just wake me up next time." He replied, standing upright, "I at least want to know you're there." I shrugged a little, and together we walked back toward the house. I stayed right beside him as he sighed and looked to me, "And please. At least try to get somewhere warm. It's freezing out tonight."

"It doesn't bug me." I murmured, but he gave me a look, so I sighed, "Okay."

I stuck around until I heard him go back to sleep before I left. I didn't go straight to Seattle, though. I started to, but in my trip north, I denied my instinct to follow Jack's orders. Instead, I just kept going north. I found the highest, coldest, most isolated area I could, just to sit and think. I was high enough that I saw the edge of the mountain holding the cliff I crouched on, and far in the dark distance, I felt like I could see across the ocean. I felt like I could see a gap in the snowstorm I currently sat in.

Way out here, the only sound being the sound of the snow hitting the blanket of snow around me, I knew I would hear anyone coming. I felt safe here, which was a brand new feeling for me.

For the first time, I really considered just disappearing. Never going back. I knew I could never do that, but I did think about it, and I had to admit that it was pretty damn tempting. With the way I felt, I would have been happy just sitting here for the rest of my life. Maybe I would eventually just stop existing.

Nothing I ever did was right. No matter what I did, it just made everything worse. Just by being alive, I would be Esme's weakness. If I disappeared, she wouldn't have that problem. If I disappeared, Jack could never hurt me again, and the kids would continue on with their way of life. Mikah would finish growing up. Probably settle down, have children of his own some day.

If I disappeared, I'd never take another human life. If I disappeared, Aro would never find out about me, and I'd never have to worry about that again.

Come dawn, I was no closer to talking myself into moving than I was when I got there, and it was a pretty beautiful view. I could easily spend the rest of my life sitting here if I had this view to look at every day.

I was so far out of the way, it would take a miracle for someone to find me. The snow was so thick, and coming down so heavily the night before, my trail would end miles away from me. More so as more snow fell.

As the first rays of dawn filtered through more snow clouds off in the distance, hitting me, I knew I couldn't stay here. I wouldn't leave yet, but I couldn't stay. As tempting as it was, I couldn't just disappear. I needed to see this through, one way or another. I also needed to locate the closest active volcano. I couldn't do that sitting here on my butt.

There was one thing I needed to do first, however. I was prepared now, and I'd done a lot of thinking on a subject that was most pressing. I had a lot of pressing issues, but this one was one I had to face.

It was time I stopped being selfish. I had to tell Mikah goodbye. For good.

I left when the sun was buried a few hours later, watching it get smothered by the clouds as they built higher and closer. Oddly, I felt like I could sympathize with the sun. I felt the same way sometimes.

I went back the way I came, and really appreciated the fact that it was still snowing in New York. I had plenty of cloud cover, and the snow stuck to me as I made it through the door of the little store.

"Fashionably late." Mikah smiled as soon as he saw me, and as shitty of a mood as I was in, I had to smile a little.

"I do my best." I replied quietly.

"I'm glad you're okay." He said, "I was worried all night."

"I'm fine." I shrugged a little, "Just had a lot of thinking to do."

"About?" He prompted, leaning on the counter. The same way he always did.

I hesitated in answering as I listened to footsteps nearing the store. I looked at him pointedly before I turned away. Pretending to be interested in whatever was in the small fridges off to the side, just as the human walked in.

I was happy for the distraction. It gave me time to think about what I was going to say to him. This was harder than I thought. I honestly doubted myself. He meant so much to me.

If he was okay, I was okay, but he would never be safe with me always running back to him.

The human left too soon with whatever crap they had bought, bringing Mikah's attention back to me. I turned back around to look at him, but I was still lost for an explanation.

"Sorry about that." He told me, and I waved it off. He smiled. "So what were we talking about?"

"I didn't mean to worry you." I told him honestly, "I didn't even mean for you to wake up."

He laughed, "It wasn't you."

I knew that, but I shrugged again.

"Alyssa almost saw me." I muttered, "I gotta be more careful."

"You know her name?" He asked, surprised, "I've never talked about her." I hesitated in my answer. Thinking hard.

"I saw her name written on her backpack." I explained, "That's your sister, right?"

"Yeah." He seemed to buy that, "She's about your age, too. How old are you, anyway?"

"Nine." I answered, though technically, I should have been ten.

He nodded, "She's ten." I knew that, but I nodded anyway.

"But is Aly seeing you a bad thing?" He asked, curious.

"Yeah." I replied, "It's bad enough I let you see me."

"You insisted on it, actually." He corrected jokingly, "But continue."

"I'm not supposed to let you see me." I went on, "No one, uh.." I couldn't continue with that, so took out a few words, "No one is supposed to see me."

"And why is that?" He asked lightly, "That has to be really lonely."

"I don't know." I muttered, "It's just the rule. Because if they see me, they know I'm around."

"I see." He nodded, "And that's a bad thing?"

"Yes." I answered incredulously, "They can't know I'm around."

"So I'm breaking some rule?" He asked, interested.

"No." I murmured, "I am. Humans aren't supposed to know-"

"Humans?" He frowned a bit, and I shut up. I was letting him nudge information out of me that I shouldn't be giving.

"I can't say any more." I finally sighed, "I already said too much."

"So you don't consider yourself human?" He pressed, "What would you consider yourself to be?"

"In trouble, if I don't shut up." I answered honestly, "I can't tell you."

"But am I allowed to guess?" He asked, smiling a little.

"Sure." I replied, "But I can't tell you if you're right."

"That's frustrating." He muttered flatly. I couldn't help laughing at his tone, though.

"You might as well-"

"Alien?" He asked, and I laughed, "No?"

"No." I laughed again, "Mikah-"

"Ghost?"

"Do you see me floating?" I asked pointedly, "Ghosts aren't real."

"Well, you're cold." He defended his theory, "Is that a no?"

"That's a no." I shook my head.

"Cyborg?"

"What is that?" I frowned, and he sighed.

"That's a no." He chuckled to himself, "Come on, I'm running out of guesses here."

"Good." I countered, "You shouldn't be guessing. You don't wanna know."

"Umm.." He smirked, "Yeah, I kinda do. One more guess."

I shook my head again, "Just stop-"

"Vampire." He smirked again, and I hesitated. Hearing him say it the way he did surprised me, like he knew all along. I knew it was only a guess, but it didn't feel that way to me.

I hesitated a second too long, and his smirk grew into a grin.

"Wait," I said quickly, "No-"

"You didn't answer that time." He accused jokingly, "Is that why you think you're dangerous?" I didn't answer, yet again hesitating when I should have been denying it just as easily as I had the other guesses.

That was exactly why I knew I was dangerous. This was too dangerous.

"You're serious?" He asked in my silence, an unidentifiable emotion slowly stealing his grin.

"Yeah." I finally gave up, "I'm.. I am dangerous." He started to laugh a little, but I shook my head, "Not to you, because I wouldn't ever hurt you, but.. To everyone else, I am."

"Wait." He laughed humorlessly this time, "You.."

"Yeah." I sighed, "Me."

"How can you be dangerous?" He asked, and I couldn't tell what he was feeling, "You're so small."

"I'm small," I muttered, "But I'm stronger than any human out there." He smiled a little, but he didn't laugh this time. I paused for a second before I went on even quieter, "I'm strong, but I'm having a really hard time leaving you alone."

That seemed to surprise him, "Why would you have to leave me alone?" I sighed. Might as well tell him now.

"Mikah, I can't see you again."

"Why, though?"

"It's safer for you if I don't come back." I looked down, "I have to leave."

"You believe you're dangerous." He replied easily, "I don't. I believe you're misunderstood, or have been given lies your whole life."

"It's not that." I mumbled. If he could only tell how wrong this felt to me.

"Then what is it?" He asked, practically begging. I listened to him round the end of the check-out counter and come to crouch in front of me. He spoke again, reaching for my hand, "Just talk to me."

"I _have_ to." I murmured, glancing at him shamefully, "It's just.. It's.. Not just me that you have to worry about. I'm not the most dangerous thing around here."

"Are you talking about your stepdad?" He asked, and hesitantly, I nodded. He might as well know what I meant. He spoke again, "Is he like you?" I nodded again, "And he's not as nice as you are." I shook my head.

"He's the meanest person I've ever known." I explained, "He's why I can't come back here."

"Has he threatened you?"

"No." I replied, "He's threatened you. I don't care what happens to me, but I don't want-"

"Slow down." He urged quietly, "Leandra-"

I cut him off by tensing at catching a scent from outside, nearing quickly. I turned sharply, looking out the windows. My stomach dropped into my toes, and I dropped his hand as the scent reached us. It was Jack.

He'd come looking for me. He must have followed me. He must have trailed my scent straight here when I didn't show up in Seattle.

"What is it?" Mikah asked, now concerned.

"I'm sorry." I spoke instead of answering him, "I gotta go." I started walking briskly toward the door, but I looked up as Jack casually stepped inside, stopping me in my tracks as I looked up at him now in front of me.

One glance from Jack was all it took to tell me that he saw my intense fear. I attempted to keep going, but Jack's hand caught my arm easily.

"Wait." Mikah said and I paused, looking over at him, "This is your stepdad?"

"Yeah." I answered, glancing up at Jack as he studied Mikah. I knew within seconds that Jack was figuring it out. He wasn't stupid.

"You both look so similar." Mikah laughed, obviously now nervous. I grabbed onto Jack's wrist, hoping to tug him away. He jerked his arm away from me, holding out his hand.

"I'm Jack." He said firmly, and I bit my lip in nervousness. Mikah glanced over at me, no doubt noting how uncomfortable I suddenly was. My tension wasn't hard to see. Especially after I'd just told him what I'd told him.

"Mikah." Was his reply, shaking his hand. I knew he noted the same sharp temperature difference as mine, but he didn't comment.

"Thank you for keeping her company." Jack told him, "She does wander sometimes."

Mikah smiled, and I knew he was falling for it. I hated that I thought Mikah would be immune, but he wasn't.

"It's not a problem." Mikah replied easily, "She's welcome here anytime. I hear she's quite the wanderer."

"Oh?" Jack asked, smiling at me. He was learning that I'd known Mikah before.

"Yeah." Mikah laughed, "This isn't the first time I've been thanked for keeping her out of trouble." Edward had thanked him the night I first woke up.

"I see." Jack chuckled as well, not missing a beat, "Well, she's in good hands now. She won't bother you again."

"She's not a bother." Mikah assured him, but Jack had already taken my shoulder.

"Be safe tonight." Jack told him as he led me out of the store. I looked back at Mikah one last time, and though he seemed confused, I did see a slight bit of concern in his eyes as well.

As soon as the door closed behind us, he was steering me along the sidewalk.

"Are you fucking crazy?" He demanded under his breath, "What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I-I was curious." I answered just as quietly. It wasn't a lie.

"Don't be fucking stupid." He growled, "He means something to you. That's the same goddamn scent that's always all over you." Fuck.

I didn't dare reply.

"Making a tie to a human.. Disgusting."

"He's not just some human." I defended him, "Please don't hurt him."

"I won't have to." He replied sharply, "You will."

"No I won't." I immediately replied, and he looked down at me.

"Yeah," He scoffed, "You will. You know why? Because you obviously need to fucking see that making friends with a human is stupid."

"I know it's stupid." I spoke quickly now, "I won't go back. I promise I won't go back. Just leave him alone."

Something crossed his expression, but I couldn't tell what it was. He pulled me to a stop, and I realized he'd taken me to the house. The closest safe spot we had in the area.

"Humans are what we hunt." He growled loudly once we were safe, "If you couldn't fucking remember."

"I remember." I muttered, "I-I just.. Thought-"

"Shut the fuck up." He snapped, and I fell quiet at his tone, "I actually thought you were growing a goddamn spine. What the fuck is wrong with you?" I didn't have an answer for that. His hand snapped out and gripped my neck, right under my jaw, and he pulled me closer. It scared me how I didn't even fight. All I did was hold his gaze the best I could, our eyes hardly inches apart.

"If I smell that boy's scent again," He told me, "I'll hunt his ass down and rip his throat out myself. Got it?" I held back my wince at just the thought.

"Got it." I whimpered, "I won't. I promise."

He didn't reply at first, studying my face. That was when I had to look away.

"Good." He growled quietly to me, "Because I don't give a fuck who it is. You're mine." That's what it was. His defensive side had come out. He really thought I was trying to choose Mikah over him?

I closed my eyes, something like despair settling in my stomach. This was the last thing I wanted. I had just gotten Mikah into trouble, just the same as I'd gotten the Cullens into trouble. He was going to let him live this time, but I knew if I cared about Mikah in any way, I could never see him again.

"Okay." I said, "Okay, I promise."

With that, he shoved me back. I swiftly regained my balance, keeping my eyes on the grass under my feet.

"I'm sorry." I added. I just wanted it to be okay.

"You sure as fuck are." He spat, "I told you months ago to drop that fucking humanity shit. You're a goddamn vampire. Start acting like one."

I turned away then, making my way up onto the front porch of the house. I felt sick, but in a depressed way. I couldn't see him again. It was way too dangerous. Today could have gone a lot differently.

"What?" Jack barked, "No snippy reply?"

"No." I replied quietly, crouching carefully, "Because you're right. I never should have even talked to him."

"Then why did you?"

Might as well be honest.

"I knew him from before." I admitted, glancing up only briefly, "From my visions before."

"Oh." He huffed as if that wasn't the answer he was expecting.

"Yeah." I said, "You're right. I know you're right. I just.. Wanted one thing to be the same. I let that mess up my head. It won't happen again."

"Damn right it won't." He snapped, "Sounds like you need to fucking drop this shit. It's worse than this shit with the Cullens."

"Don't talk about them like that." I growled, unable to help it, "They did _nothing_ to you. You don't have any reason to hate them like you do."

"You do know the only reason I'm on them is because of you, right?" He snapped back, "You're fucking obsessed."

"I lived with these people." I countered, "I lived with them, they kept me safe. They gave me someone to talk to. They taught me. They raised me. I can't just let it go like that."

"That shit never happened." He was getting mad.

"Maybe not to you, but it did to me." I argued, standing back up, "The memories I have of them are real, and they're all I have now, thanks to you."

"Shut the fuck up with that shit!"

"No!" It seemed I was having an issue controlling my emotions, "It's true! I lost everything because of you!" Mikah must have been the last straw, the wall holding back my accusations broke.

According to you," He replied sharply, "It's _because of_ me you knew them in the fucking first place!"

That certainly shut me up as his growling words filtered through the heavy fog of anger. Could he be right?

If it wasn't for him, I never would have had them in the first place. My family.

If it wasn't for Jack, I never would have developed my gift. The extreme abuse he put me through flipped on another part of my brain, opening the way I needed open to dream that night. The first night after the last severe beating I'd gotten. Waking to find that a whole eight years had been a lie, only to repeat the process again a day later.

Another seven years gone, ripped away from me in the time it took for me to open my eyes, but in his own weird way, he was right. It was that gift that initially caught Alice's attention. She could sense it in me, so she looked closer.

If it wasn't for Alice looking closer, I never would have accepted her offer to go back to her home. Without that, I never would have been pressured into spending the night there.

If I never would have been pressured to stay, I never would have had that final vision. I never would have considered the fact that I was dying, as a result of that last beating that had started everything in motion.

Jack did the beating that essentially made me meet Alice that day. Without that beating that took my life, I never would have known Carlisle or Esme, or any of them at all.

Jack was right. Everything I used to have, I owed to him. His heartless anger had led me straight to the opportunity to know selfless love. His violent darkness brought me to patience, kindness, empathy. Without him, I never would have known what it was like to love and be loved. To learn trust and to just be.

"What?" I whispered to myself, looking down with a deep frown on my face.

"Way I fucking see it," Jack growled, ignoring that, "You _owe_ me."

This realization stunned me into silence. It was heavy, deep. Every single memory I held so precious.. All the irreplaceable people in my life before.. All of them, I owed to Jack.

I couldn't argue anymore as I looked back up to meet his eyes. I could see that he saw the effect this was having on me. It showed in his eyes.

Just like that, fifteen years of memories all changed. Both visions worth of memories stayed the same, but how I saw them shifted them into a new light. Mikah, his whole family. Heather and the boys. Especially the Cullens.

Jack had given them all to me. By doing what he'd done, all the torture and pain he'd inflicted, he'd given me every precious memory I still had in my mind.

"You're right." I eventually managed to breathe out a choked whisper.

"Damn right, I am." Was his reply, "So knock off this blaming me shit. I'm sick of it."

Almost numbly, I turned and looked back at the front door of the house I'd learned a few good lessons in. Lessons I never would have learned had it not been for Jack. I swallowed against the aching emotion before I looked forward again.

"You're right." I told him evenly, "I-I.. Think I need a minute."

He didn't say anything to that, watching as I sat back down.

This sudden shift of every memory I had shook me with it. I would have to learn to live with the fact that this was just how it was now. I would have to live with the fact that every bit of every memory was all owed to Jack. The one person that had tormented me my whole life, doing everything he could to make sure I learned hate.

I felt so betrayed. It was even worse, because I had absolutely nobody to blame but myself.

This betrayal wasn't caused by the Cullens. Not even Jack. It was all me. I had no idea which way was up anymore. That kind of internal struggle would be enough to rip any human to shreds. I was torn in two.

I could feel Jack's eyes on me, and one glance at his smirk as he crossed his arms told me he knew exactly what was happening to me.

"Do I finally sense defeat?" He chuckled.

"What are you talking about?" I asked quietly, "You won a long time ago."

"No," He countered, "You've only been going along with it, which was pretty fucking funny, but.. This is different."

"I might as well." I mumbled bitterly, "It's not like I can do anything about anything anyway."

"Finally we're on the same fucking page."

"Are you gonna leave them alone now?"

"Not a chance." He chuckled, "I found something I want."

It was pointless to try to threaten him. It wouldn't get me anywhere but onto his bad side, so I just kept my head down. What the hell was wrong with me? I could probably level an entire, Seattle-sized city in ten minutes, but I _wasn't_ strong enough against Jack.

Apparently, that's just how it was for immortal kids. Our only hope was escape, not defense. That didn't do anything for me.

With a sigh, I stood up, and started walking away from him. Towards the road. Jack didn't follow me this time, as he knew I had a lot on my mind. I wanted to wander, to get my thoughts together, but he did have to ask.

"Where the fuck are you going?"

"I don't know." I answered, starting off down the road. It was the best answer I could give at the moment, because I honestly didn't know. I didn't understand what was wrong with me.

Out of the blue, I suddenly yelped loudly as a heavy material was thrown over me, secured by stone arms, and I was suddenly scooped up and laid in those arms as we ran.

My senses were usually spot on, so it was near impossible to sneak up on me. I first started to fight the one that held me, but I stopped as soon as I breathed in.

I knew in an instant who it was that held me.

 **A/N: Here's eight! I got it out as soon as I comfortably could. I hope you all enjoyed it!  
THANK YOU! To my REVIEWER of last chapter! THANK YOU! You're AWESOME! AWESOMEST AWESOME ON THE PLANET! Seriously, though. You are. Thank you. C:**  
 **I will TRY not to make anyone wait too long for chapter nine. As of right now, it's finished, but needs a good going over. Nine is my problem chapter. :C**  
 **Until NINE, my friends!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Emmett.

"Go." Eli was just behind him, barking orders as we ran, "Go, go, go. Faster, man." He sounded pretty tense, so I knew this was a plan being carried out.

Eli covered people's senses. Not only creating the vivid illusion that he was someone else, but covering for others as well. He manipulated the way things sounded and smelled, and created a mask of whatever he wanted the others to see.

I was assuming, five seconds into the 'heist', that Eli had been covering Emmett. That was a skill Eli hadn't gotten until later, so I could only imagine how much training he had been going through the last few days.

Ten seconds into the 'heist', I was stunned at the realization that Eli was helping Emmett. What did that mean? I decided to leave the blanket where it was. I wouldn't rip it to pieces just yet.

"Lost him." Eli called, "Circle around." And I felt us change directions. It seemed pretty amazing that we shook Jack off our trail that fast, but then again, what Eli could do was pretty amazing. It occurred to me then that Eli knew about Jack, because in the visions, Eli didn't meet Jack until at least a year from now, but because of the other kids, he was on our side from the start.

It became a pattern that everything from the visions were still basically the same, but happening sooner than it was supposed to. Meeting Mikah. Meeting Cole. Jack targeting Esme. Jack finding Eli. Even before all that. Even before I was turned, actually. It started while I was human. The events of my last few days alive happened almost the same way, but faster. I must have done something or changed something. I wondered if that ripple would continue.

I didn't like it. Paths were being crossed now that didn't need to be crossed.

I felt Emmett slowing down, so we must have been close to wherever I was being taken. I would save the bobcat struggles for after I learned what the hell was going on. We stopped, and instead of fighting for freedom, I immediately started listening.

"We're good." Eli muttered somewhere off to the side.

Emmett set me down, and I instantly crouched under the blanket. Oddly, I felt very unsure about where I was. I should have just removed the blanket as soon as I could, but I was frozen tense. A reaction I shouldn't be having if it was just Emmett and Eli.

"Yoohoo." Emmett muttered, pinching the blanket between two fingers and lifting it slowly. I growled, and he let it drop again. Why was I acting like this?

"She'll calm down in a minute." Shannon's quiet voice off to the side surprised me, "Just leave her be for now."

"What's wrong with her?" I tensed harder at Jasper's voice. How was I not smelling these people?

"It's a trigger for most kids." Shannon replied, "There's something about being blinded and carried like that that they react to. Like this."

I knew I wouldn't be taking that long. I was already starting to calm down listening to them.

Shannon went on, "It basically stuns them. It's a bit different for everyone, even though you can expect the same typical reaction. But.. They probably will hurt you if you try to force them to start responding again."

"I'll be over here." Emmett mumbled, and I listened to his footsteps falling away. He'd taken at least ten good feet, so I got an idea of about how big the area was that we were in.

The ground under me was firm, but not earth, and there was no sun, which meant we were inside a building or something.

"How long will it last?" Jasper asked again.

"It depends." Shannon replied gently, "One of our boys was the same way. He didn't come out for like a week."

Once I started to calm down, I could think easier. Though I still deeply distrusted Jasper, I knew logically that I wasn't being threatened. Once it registered to me that I was okay, I was safe, I started to come around even more. Slowly, I started to move. Bringing my arms up and slowly dropping the blanket behind me.

I was both relieved and confused as I saw it was only the four of them there with me. Emmett and Jasper, as well as Shannon and Eli. I looked to Emmett again.

"Never.." I muttered, standing up, "Ever.. Do that again."

"Sorry." Shannon laughed a little, "I had no choice but to.. Request some help, and seeing as how I didn't want him to get hurt, I had to tell him how to do it."

"That wasn't fun." I grumbled, crossing my arms, "And why?"

"Because your way wasn't working, shorty." Emmett answered, "We had to do something."

He had a point. My way obviously wasn't working. I never should have believed that I could ever have a say in what Jack did. He always went by his own rules.

"And we couldn't let you keep suffering like that." Shannon added, "You've already sacrificed everything you had to give for all of us. And the way you were so ready to just.. Keep going through that, well.. It broke my heart. So once you were far enough away from Jack, we took a chance."

"Oh." I mumbled, looking down. I hesitated, though, before I looked over at Jasper, "And.. You came too?"

"I wouldn't let Emmett go alone." He replied quietly, "As soon as Shannon brought Esme back to us-"

"Is she okay?" I asked quickly, unable to help it. I needed to know.

"Leandra, she told us what you did." He replied, "Just to protect her."

"I'll always protect her." I admitted, slightly confused, "Why wouldn't I? She doesn't deserve that."

"Neither do you." Shannon reminded me, stepping closer to my side, "So.. Think of this as an intervention."

"What's that?"

"We're making you choose a different way, shorty." Emmett explained quietly, "We owe you so much already. Our debt is racking up." I clearly heard his phone vibrate inside his pocket, so he reached for it.

"No debt." I knew what that word meant, "You don't owe me anything."

"Them," Shannon said, "Or us, but either way, you're not going back to Jack. I'm sorry, Leandra. It just can't go on the way it has been."

"I-I, but.." I knew she was right, but if I couldn't keep going like I had been, what else was I supposed to do? I never came up with a plan 'B'.

"Let us handle it." Jasper told me, and I hesitantly looked over at him, "All you have to do is trust us, Leandra." Boy, wasn't this conversation familiar?

"The others are on their way." Emmett murmured, putting his phone away.

"It's not yours to handle." I argued with Jasper, "That's what you're not getting."

"He made it ours to handle." He countered, "I don't particularly like being manipulated, or having my coven targeted."

"That's my fault." I admitted, but I couldn't tell him that I would take care of it, because I had already proven I couldn't. If I couldn't make things right, what made him think he could?

" _Please_ don't start fighting." Emmett sighed heavily, and I looked down.

"He's right." Jasper murmured. I nodded in agreement, glancing back up.

"Sorry, Jasper." I said to him, "I'm just scared."

"I want to give you a real chance." He replied, "That's the very least that you deserve."

"When the others get here, I'll listen this time." I muttered, "Just _please_ listen to me when I say a plan won't work. If you guys want to actually try to fix the problem, you have to be careful. You _can't_ just hunt him down. He'll know you're coming from a mile away." Figure of speech, but he seemed to get the idea.

He actually nodded, "Noted."

I nodded as well, accepting that. He seemed a lot more receptive to my advice. I glanced over as Shannon smiled a little, coming to my side. Just then, the sound of their fast approach told me it wasn't just Carlisle or Esme with them.

Esme was the first through the small door behind us. I accepted her sudden hug with a firm one of my own. Turning to face her just as she raced through the door.

"I'm okay." I assured her.

"No you're not." I opened my eyes, surprised at Gage's voice. He'd never felt comfortable enough to be around the Cullens before. I saw exactly why he was needed, though, as Brianna, formerly known as Reese, went straight to Eli's side. She must have hidden their scent the whole way here, and Gage didn't trust leaving her to do her job on her own.

"What do you mean?" I asked him as I released my hold on Esme.

"You're not okay." He replied, his jaw set in a way I hadn't seen before, "I was there that night. I saw what he did to you."

"You were there?" I asked, now nervous. Realizing that came with its own set of emotions. He saw. I couldn't imagine how that must have made him feel.

"I just couldn't get to you." He confirmed firmly, and I looked down, "I couldn't take him on. Not on my own, and you weren't gonna stop once he _finally_ let you run. I don't blame you. I didn't follow you. I went to find Eli and Esme first."

That explained why she suddenly disappeared like she did. She was with Eli.

That must have been what pushed him to get passed his fear of the Cullens. Working with them would be pretty much his only option, and he was pissed enough for that to happen. He was in on this 'heist' from the start.

"Sorry." I replied, and his eyes narrowed, "I didn't know-"

"Don't say you're sorry." Gage nearly snapped. I looked down. Esme hugged me into her side, and I glanced over as Emmett nudged Gage a little. That seemed to work, as he took a breath, "I'm not mad at you. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm mad at _him_. It's not _fair_ that he could get away with that like he did."

"Not for long." Emmett assured him, "Believe me. Once I get my hands on him-"

"I didn't mean for you to see that." I went on with my apology anyway, "If I had known you were there, I would have fought harder-"

"There was no way you were fighting him off." He replied, "He had you."

"He's good at that." I admitted, uncomfortably shrugging a little the best I could in my position.

A silence fell, and I finally thought to look around. The little building we stood around in was yet another, much smaller, long-abandoned warehouse. Trees in all directions that I could see out of the dust-foggy windows.

They must have found this place to help me get out from the start.

"We'll figure out a way, Leandra." Gage muttered, "We'll get him."

"But how?" I asked, "I've done everything I can think of, but he does what he wants."

"We'll figure out a way." Esme assured me, repeating Gage's promise and hugging me against her side. I'd really missed the comfort she gave easily.

"He's probably still looking for you." Eli spoke up from the side, "Where would he go if he's looking for you?"

"Seattle." I replied, "But Victoria is there with the newborn she made."

"She made a newborn?" Jasper asked, frowning a little.

I nodded, "Yeah, and Jack's been helping her. I think he's been working on the bond between them."

"That would certainly help her case." Jasper allowed, "Especially if she's planning an army."

"She acted like she didn't know anything about it last time I saw her." I pointed out, "Unless I gave her the idea."

"Possible." Jasper replied, "But it's okay. We'll figure that out when we come to it. One step at a time." I nodded a little. That would help.

"Where else, shorty?" Emmett asked.

"The house in New York." I answered, but that seemed to suddenly make me remember. I tensed, and Esme looked down at me.

"What is it?" She asked.

"If I don't go back," I said, "He'll think I stayed away on my own. If he doesn't already think that."

"Let him." Gage grumbled, "I _wish_ he would come looking for you."

"No," I whimpered, "He knows where to find Mikah."

"Then Mikah would be his target." Jasper said, looking over at Carlisle. He'd been silent this entire discussion.

"Is Mikah the human?" Gage asked, and I nodded.

"We'll keep watch on him." Carlisle assured me, but I could see he was concerned.

"But won't that be hard on you guys?" I asked, and he looked at me, "Trying to protect someone so far away from home?"

"It won't be easy, shorty." Emmett replied sadly.

"Then let me watch over him. He's my friend."

"I'll stay with her." Esme immediately replied, but Carlisle still seemed concerned.

"We'll stay too." Gage murmured, "We're small on our own, but together, he's screwed. Leandra might hesitate to rip his head off, but I won't."

"This would really be the first time any of us have been able to get even with someone like Jack." Shannon agreed, and behind her, Brianna nodded. I could see, though, that Carlisle was still unsure. I figured out what was bothering him when he looked at Esme.

"You don't wanna let her stay." I guessed, and he looked at me again.

"Not particularly." He answered honestly. I couldn't really blame him. I didn't want to let her stay either, but I knew they'd never let me stay here alone.

"Then you stay too." I suggested. That would be better for me because it wouldn't just be me protecting her, even if I did worry about him getting hurt too. The longer we stood there, though, the more nervous I got.

Jack was never known for his patience, and I worried that I'd been gone too long as it was.

"That's actually a good idea." Emmett commented, "You three, plus these guys," He gestured to the kids, "Should be safe enough together while the rest of us can keep an eye on Bella back home." I nodded. It was all I could do to not immediately run back to Mikah's store. Esme seemed to sense that. Probably by the way I kept inching toward the door.

"Meet us there." She told the others, "We'll run ahead."

Before they even agreed, I was off running. I ran faster as I got closer, my tension getting worse as I started to smell Jack's scent getting stronger. He was headed the same way I was just moments ago.

I had been right. He wasn't gonna wait.

Esme didn't tell me to slow down, she knew what was driving me this time. I needed to find him.

I got to the store ahead of her, landing in the shadowy alleyway behind the store and immediately searching for the familiar sound that would put all my worries at ease, but it wasn't here. Smelling Jack's scent fresh from the building only pushed me toward the panic option.

I searched the scent deeper, and calmed a little as I knew Mikah wasn't in the building anymore, so he wasn't dead, but neither was Jack so that didn't mean much to me. It just meant that I had to find them both.

I looked over as Esme arrived, Shannon and Gage second. Eli and Brianna last. Whether they realized it or not, they had stayed behind her. I found that a little funny, but I didn't feel like laughing.

"He's gone." I whimpered, "He's not here."

"We'll find him." Esme assured me, but even I heard the doubt in her voice.

"I have to." I mumbled, looking up at the store, toward the roof, "One way or the other, I gotta find him."

I climbed up the side of the building, knocking free a few shards of brick in my haste. I listened to the others following. They knew that I was attached to him, but they didn't quite get it. The only one that would almost understand was Esme.

I dared to think the way Jack thought. What would be a worse punishment than killing him? Because he didn't bother killing him here, I could only guess that he had another plan for Mikah, but what? He was probably using him as bait. Testing how far he can push me. He knew Mikah meant something to me, and I worried that by not coming back immediately, I had pissed him off.

I had only been gone an hour, but that was an hour too long.

"Let's try the other side." I said, turning and jumping back down into the alley. Without question, they followed me. They would let me lead the way, and I appreciated that.

I flitted across the city, much too quickly for any active humans to see, until I reached our little camping spot on the outskirts. I felt panic bubbling in my throat the closer I got, because this time, I did smell blood. Not a lot, just enough to be caused by a pretty decent injury, but it wasn't still here.

There was blood in the area, but no Mikah.

When I arrived at the spot, I saw that I wasn't the only one drawn to the smell. Cole looked over, obviously confused by his frown.

"Cole." I greeted quietly, more focused on the direction the blood had gone.

"You smelled it too?" He asked kindly, and I looked over as Esme and the others arrived, surprising him.

"He's my human." I explained quickly, "Do you know which way this went?" It went in all directions, and I didn't want to waste time following a false lead.

"Best guess is west." He replied, still clearly confused, "But I'm sure it won't take long to find it." He was right. We could split up. I looked back, and Esme took the hint.

She split the kids up in pairs, sending them in different directions. There were enough of us to do that. She told them to come back here as soon as their trail ended, so whoever didn't come back we knew to follow.

"Do we get to eat 'um?" Brianna asked, curious. To her, it had to seem like a new game.

"No, sweetheart." Esme replied, as I was too horrified at the thought to say anything, "We're just going to find him."

"Aww.." She whined, disappointed, but Eli laughed and hugged her a little.

"We'll find him, Leandra." He assured me, "He's not dead. There's not enough blood spilled for that to happen."

I didn't reply to that. I started off in my direction, and I listened to the others doing the same behind me.

Cole tagged along with Esme and I as we ran to the north. The scent grew stronger the way we went, but ended abruptly at a tree. Into the side of the tree, two letters had been carved into the side. 'AT'. It confused me, but worried me as I picked up a completely blood-soaked piece of clothing. A piece of Mikah's shirt.

I rounded with a tense growl, clutching the cloth in my fist. Neither Cole or Esme said anything when I found that. Allowing me to brush between them on my way back to our starting spot.

Eli and Brianna were waiting for us there, so theirs hadn't gone that long.

"Nothing." Eli told me as I arrived, "Just a bloody shirt sleeve, and some letters dug into the tree."

"Which letters did you get?" Esme asked before I could.

"T-L-E." He said, "Mean anything?"

"A-T-T-L-E." I pieced it together, "He's in Seattle."

"How do we know he really went that way?" Eli asked, "Sounds like a trap to me."

"He wants me to find him." I explained, "He's mad that I didn't come back, so he wants me to come back to him."

"Nothing." Gage said as they got back to us, "But this.." He held out yet another blood-soaked strip of shirt, "And some letters in a tree."

"S-E." I guessed, and he nodded, "I have to go to Seattle. You don't have to come with me, but I have to go there."

"We can gather the others." Shannon said, "And meet you there?" That would work.

"I understand that time is limited," Cole started, "But.. Is anyone going to explain why there are immortal children hanging around?"

"Later." I replied, and I was off. He followed us. Shannon and the others broke off from us, heading south as soon as we passed Michigan.

"Be careful." Esme called after them.

"We will." Gage called back, but they were gone too fast for another reply.

We got to Seattle in record time for me. I didn't smell any blood at first, so I brought Esme and Cole to Jack's usual spot. Losing ourselves in the less populated areas of the city, places humans generally knew to avoid.

Still nothing. I frowned in confusion.

I searched for Mikah's scent all over this area, but it wasn't there. Victoria had been by here recently, though. Probably looking for Jack as well.

The way I felt now, though, was hard to describe. The longer I went without finding him, the more my tension and panic bordered on anger.

"Split up?" Cole suggested, and I was just about to agree, when a sudden ringing sound made me jump. My attention drawn up the street a ways, toward the docks at the river.

"It's a payphone." Esme frowned as well, but I was already running at it. I picked up the receiver, curious.

"About fucking time." It was Jack, "Damn, I've been calling all damn morning."

"Where is he, Jack?" I snapped immediately, "I swear, I'm-"

"Shut the fuck up." He replied sharply, "And just fucking listen for a second." I stood in silence as a cough echoed in the room behind him. It was Mikah. Before I could demand, Jack spoke again, "It's funny, isn't it?"

"What's funny?" I growled.

"How much a human can bleed." He replied, "Keep the wounds small, but many, and they'll replace the blood almost as fast as they lost it."

"Where are you?" I did demand, "No games, Jack. He didn't do anything to you."

"Had you not fucking rushed to Mikah so soon," He replied, "This little game of mine wouldn't have worked." I frowned a little. What the hell did that mean? "When you figure that out, come here alone. I'm out to get you back this time. Not collect anyone else. Come alone, and it'll stay that way. You have sixty minutes."

With that, the call ended. I looked back at Esme standing there. I couldn't hide my confusion.

There were so many things Jack's words could mean. He wasn't out to collect anyone else. Did that mean he didn't plan on changing Mikah? That was a relief, but that could also have meant he was planning on killing him as soon as I got there to witness it.

That sure sounded like something he'd do. He'd been doing things like that since I was old enough to remember. Stripping me of everything I ever cared about, while turning it around on me. This was just the same.

He wasn't out to collect anyone else could also have meant he was going to leave the Cullens alone. This time, he just wanted me.

But what did he mean about rushing to Mikah? That was the only clue I had to finding him. My panicked mind was refusing to work, and I was wasting time.

"Carlisle." I muttered. He was really good at figuring this stuff out. He always had been whenever he needed to find me. He was my first thought.

"I'll stay and wait for the other kids." Cole suggested, "And I'll redirect them."

That was a good idea, but instead of being polite about it, I was already gone. From there, we headed west. Back toward Forks. Thankfully, we found the rest of the family at home, and they met us outside.

"I don't know where to look." I whimpered as soon as I saw Carlisle, before I'd even finished jogging to a stop and he grew concerned, "Jack has him, and I'm lost."

"Easy." He told me, and I knew he knew I was panicking, "What happened?" I stood in silence as Esme filled him in on what all we'd found and been told so far.

Mid-explanation, the others drifted closer.

"Calm down." Emmett stopped my pacing, and I looked up at him. I let Esme and Carlisle continue discussing it behind us.

"I can't." I replied desperately, "We've got fifty minutes to find him, or.." I couldn't even say it. I'd never really been on the receiving end like this. I couldn't believe how helpless I felt, and that was messing with my mind. My family must have gone through this in the vision every time I went missing. It was scary in a whole different way.

"Calm down." Alice repeated Emmett's words, "Just breathe."

"I don't have _time_." I argued firmly, "Alice, I can't lose him. I couldn't.. I _couldn't_ let him go.." I trailed off, and she stepped forward. Without missing a step, she made Emmett move. Taking his spot, and immediately hugging me.

I immediately returned it. Tighter than I meant to, but she didn't complain. This hug, though, wasn't really helping. The longer I held onto her, the more painful it got. The emotion of an old, unattended heartbreak broke me. I had to step back.

"We'll find him, Leandra." She stressed.

"I have to." I replied, "I _have_ to, but I-I can't think.."

Right then, Cole arrived. Leading the whole pack of kids behind him. Putting the previous discussion I'd been having with Alice aside for a moment, I was surprised when I saw all of them, as they usually did all they could to avoid adults. Cole must have been kind enough to appeal to them, and I wondered briefly if they might have found more help for their group.

All of the kids had arrived, not just a few. The shiest of them hiding behind the older ones, but it was clearly all of them.

I couldn't help it. It'd been so long since I'd seen all of them together. I walked over and greeted the younger ones with a hug. Lisa, the fair-haired seven year old, greeted me the warmest. Next being Cody.

"What are we doing here?" Amanda demanded, "This is stupid."

"It'll be okay, Amanda." Shane was even here, "Trust me, okay?"

"Trust him." Mary barked at her, "I like it. I wanna meet Leandra's family."

"Twins." Emmett got a kick out of that, and both twins grinned. Nick and Toby, the twins, both even stood the same way, in the same position. They seemed okay with the attention. None of the Cullens dared get any closer, though, which was probably a good idea. Several of these kids seemed to be a very strong flight risk. Mary especially, the six year old who was always stuck to Lisa's side like glue. It was clear she was very uneasy.

I had both of them behind me, but Lisa was the most curious of the others across the yard. Peering out from behind me in obvious admiration. I wondered how often she actually encountered adults, or if she'd been shielded from them her entire time with this group.

"This is amazing." Carlisle honestly couldn't help commenting as Brett drifted to my side as well.

"All of them have been in Tacoma for years?" Alice asked, astonished.

"We know how to stay inconspicuous." Olivia explained, "We strive for anonymity and didn't want to overstep."

"You do a _really_ good job." Alice replied, looking over the group of kids beside her again. It was clear they had no previous knowledge of them until I connected the two groups, but given their reaction, this was more than they expected.

I looked over at Brett, and he honestly seemed fearful. This was a lot to deal with with his last encounter being Jack.

"It's okay." I told him, "You don't have to go any closer." He nodded, and I knew that helped.

"So what now?" Gage asked, "These guys can't fight." He gestured to Lisa and Cody behind us. Meaning, the younger ones.

"No." I immediately replied, looking down at Mary clinging to my side, "They can stay here. I have to show up there alone anyway. This more for their own safety." Gage nodded. He trusted the Cullens, so he didn't seem worried about that.

"But you can't go there alone." Toby muttered, and I turned to look at him. Nick beside him was shaking his head, "Shannon says he's a psychopath."

"And she knows psychopaths." Nick added just as quietly.

"And usually," Toby piped up again, "When they want you to show up by yourself, it's a trap."

"It is a trap." I replied, "But I have no choice."

"You always have a choice." Both Toby and Nick replied at the same time, and hearing the same thing in stereo never got old.

"I'm not dragging you guys in on it." I said, "I can't really explain it, but I have to save him."

"If it means something to you, it means something to us." Lisa mumbled, "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'll be fine." I told her, "I just have to find him."

"Shorty?" Emmett called my attention and I looked back, "Introductions?" That brought me back to focus on what needed focused on right then.

Amanda seemed even more ready to bolt, and I knew he could see that. Maybe introducing them to the family would help.

"Line up." Shannon called, and instantly, Mary was gone. They all lined up in the yard, oldest to youngest, side by side. Just the same way they had when I first met them.

She went quickly down the line, as we knew we had limited time. Starting at the twins, she patted their shoulders as she moved down the line.

"Nick, Toby, and Amanda are ten." She said, "Gage is nine. Cody and Brett are eight. Lisa is seven, Mary is six, and Brianna. You guys know her. I'm Shannon, that's Olivia, and Nicole is around here somewhere making sure it's safe. That's Shane, but you know him too."

That was about it.

I shrugged, looking to the family, "Line up?"

With a laugh, Emmett led the way. They lined up, shoulder to shoulder in the yard. Just like the kids did, but it wasn't in any particular order. Esme and Carlisle stayed off to the side, but that was okay.

"Emmett, Rosalie." I started, pointing to them, "Jasper and Alice. Edward is out."

"No he's not." I turned a little as both Nicole and Edward arrived in the yard, "Here he is."

Nicole was a very rare member of this coven to see. She was always out, scouting or keeping the area safe. She protected _everyone_ by keeping those protecting the kids safe.

I nodded a little, "That's Edward. That's Esme, and that's Carlisle."

"Hi." Lisa greeted warmly. Introducing them the way I did seemed to really help, but a few still seemed unsure. Amanda and Cody especially. Seeing this, Toby shrugged to Nick and they both started slowly across the yard. They wanted to meet them up close, more curious than anything.

That helped even more. Mary tagged along with them both, probably for comfort.

As the others sorted out who would move, I turned to Carlisle again.

"Anything?" I whimpered.

"We'll find him, Leandra." He assured me, "What do you think it could mean?"

"I don't know." I whined, "You're always the one that knows what to do."

"You're panicking."

"Yeah!" I replied incredulously, "It's _my_ fault Mikah is where he is."

"It hardly matters whose fault it is right now." Carlisle reminded me, "You're focusing on the wrong details. All that matters right now is that we know Jack has him, for whatever reason, and you need to think beyond whatever guilt you may feel."

He was right. I needed to clear my head if I was going to be of any use to Mikah. The goal was to find him. I took a breath, but that breath caught.

I hesitated for a second, stopping myself as another thought crossed almost calmly across my mind.

I turned and looked back at the occupants of the yard. For the first time, I was seeing the Cullens and the Tacoma kids in one group, and it was very eye-opening. Brett had decided to keep his distance, watching from afar. He looked at me, having noticed me looking over the group.

"And I'm doing it again." I murmured, mostly to myself.

"Doing what, honey?" Esme asked, concerned.

"Getting everything I care about into trouble." I answered, "Jasper was right, and I didn't even see it." Maybe that was why I was so willing to stay with Jack before he started his crap. He wanted me, and I still saw it as my fight. Nobody deserved to be hurt or killed because of me.

"Please don't think of it like that." Esme murmured, but I was already thinking it.

I didn't reply as I watched the others, thinking hard now that I was calm enough to. Jack said to come alone. In a way, he was helping me. It was like he was pointing out the fact that I was constantly hiding being those I cared about. Until I could shake that, and take the responsibility of what I'd done by turning him, this would keep happening.

He said that if I hadn't been so quick to run to Mikah, his game would be ruined. What did he mean by that? I thought back to all of our interactions. He'd slowly been becoming more and more possessive of me, and me running to Mikah bothered him. More than just because Mikah was human.

Had I missed something?

Maybe he was referring to the fact that any time I would return to that city, I'd always look for him first. In two main areas.

I knew where he was.

Edward was in pretty deep conversation with Nicole, so by the way he didn't even stop talking or look at me, he hadn't heard what I'd just thought. I turned around to look at Carlisle and Esme again.

"Don't follow me." I murmured, "Please. I don't want to put you in the middle anymore."

"Leandra," Carlisle sighed in reply, "You're not putting anyone in the middle. We help each other."

"If this is important to you," Gage had started listening in, "It's important to us." His statement had gotten everyone else's attention as well.

"Where are we going, shorty?" Emmett asked.

"Back to New York." I was giving up. If they wanted to come, they knew the stakes. "The Ithaca house."

"Well, let's go then." He gestured me on ahead. I started off, and they were instantly following. I'd never really thought about it like that. I wasn't putting them anywhere. They were choosing to back me up. It was their choice to help, and I'd done everything I could to talk them out of it, yet here they were.

I didn't bother to tell them again. They were aware of how dangerous this was. I almost couldn't believe how many people there were behind me.

I was terrified. I didn't know what I would find when we got there, but I couldn't slow down. Mikah needed me to hurry.

I got there faster than I ever had before, but I was confused. Brett and Gage stopped right along with me, the other kids grouping behind Shannon off to the side, waiting for the others to get here.

There was nobody here, but the scent of blood was strong. Jack had been here recently, but there was no Mikah. Just a piece of paper and a literally blood-soaked and dripping shred of cloth stuck on the wide-open front door. I must have had nerves of steel now, because I didn't freak out at finding that.

Reaching up, I ripped the note loose.

"Whoa." Gage muttered, turning away, "We'll be over here." I knew the smell was getting to him, but it didn't bother me. I was too focused on finding him.

The note, half crumbled in my hand, read, 'Last chance.'

He knew I wasn't alone. How the fuck did he know I wasn't alone? Maybe he just assumed, but that didn't explain how fresh the blood was.

Just as the others got here, I grabbed the cloth off the front door. It was still warm. Meaning he had to have put this there within seconds, maybe minutes of our arrival. Biting back a growl at the intense burn, I breathed in the scent of Mikah's blood.

There was no venom in the scent. Meaning he wasn't in the middle of being turned. Oddly, Mikah had never been here. Wherever he was had to be close enough to be able to soak the cloth in his blood, but he was never here.

"Goodness." Esme murmured, shocked. I handed her the note, turning away. My hands were covered in his blood now, and it only reinforced my belief that this was all my fault.

I moved away, headed for the street. The others let me have my space, watching me for more direction. What now? How was I supposed to make them stay while finding him now?

He had to be close, but he was never here.

"Leandra?" Cole had decided to come talk to me.

"I know." I mumbled, "This is stupid."

"We'll split up." Gage suggested, "We'll find him, Leandra."

He was close, but never here. It suddenly clicked. That bastard. He sent me to Seattle when he never left the city.

I barely listened behind me as Carlisle started to give direction. Sending groups in different directions, but as soon as they were all distracted, I started running. Probably in reflex, Cole followed me. I knew where he had Mikah now, and I hated that I missed it this time.

I could only pray I got to him in time.

Cole was steady on my heels, running along with me as fast as we could go. Running at nearly flying speed, closing in fast.

I could hear Mikah's heartbeat now, so I knew I was right. Focused on that, I growled as I realized it was struggling. Pounding too hard, racing too fast.

I flew through the front door of the store Mikah worked at, completely obliterating it in my wake, I raced to the back of the store. Rounding the corner and running for the back door and set of stairs. I destroyed that door as well, jumping down the set of stairs into the basement storeroom. Cole was still directly behind me, so I wasn't afraid in the slightest.

I burst through the thin metal door at the very bottom, my eyes instantly taking in the darkness of the room and turning it into visible light. There in the corner Mikah sat, clearly unconscious, but between him and I, Jack stood grinning.

"There you are." He chuckled, "What took you so long?"

"You didn't need to do this." I growled, "I would have come back anyway."

"See, you're lying." He replied easily, "And I don't like being lied to, so.." With a sigh, he took a few steps back. Toward Mikah.

"Jack." I warned, and he grinned again.

"I don't know.." He murmured hesitantly, turning around and looking down at Mikah, "Does he _really_ deserve to live?"

I wasn't playing this game. I was physically, mentally, emotionally _unable_ to let this happen. While he was distracted, waiting for my answer, I ran forward.

I flew across the room, and without a split second of hesitation, jumped on Jack with a snarl of anger. He jerked back in defense, rounding. Taking me with him. Cole moved forward, but not for me. I was grateful for that as he went to Mikah, but I was a little busy.

Jack rolled, and I broke free, knowing that I really didn't want to be caught on the bottom, but that wasn't enough for him. He darted back, and I countered.

I crouched, my glare as well as my entire concentration was on Jack. I couldn't even breathe, because I could feel how heavy the scent of blood hung in the room.

Behind me, I could hear Cole's attempts to wake Mikah up. We could both clearly hear his heartbeat, but it was weak at best. Jack took his focus off of me, and looked at Mikah behind me.

I didn't know what to do right then. I was torn between going to Mikah's side and running forward to rip Jack's head off. Mikah meant more to me than anything. One of the people I'd always sworn to do anything to protect.

If I lost him, I honestly didn't know how I'd ever be okay again. I'd spent years building my bond to him, and I wasn't going to let that die without a fight.

"Leandra." Cole murmured, "Not to distract you, sweetheart, but.. He's not going to wake up."

"Wake him up." I demanded, not taking my eyes off of Jack.

"He's missing too much blood, darling." Cole was trying to break it to me gently, but I wasn't having that. I looked back, really seeing for the first time the slowly growing puddle of blood underneath him. It was so dense, I couldn't even really see where he was bleeding from.

"I might have had a bit of fun." Jack chuckled, but all that did was piss me off, "He's better off dead anyway."

"It's not his fault!"

"He knows too much!" Jack shouted right back at me, and I shut up for a second, "Your stupid ass told him. I'm doing him a fucking favor, and you're gonna have to just fucking deal with it."

Behind me, though, I was distracted by the sound of Mikah stirring. I instantly turned around. He had a chance! So distracted, I didn't hear Jack's approach. I yelped at being lifted, and literally thrown off to the side. Before I even hit the brick wall in the far corner of the basement, Jack had punched Cole out of the way and was now sinking his teeth into the side of Mikah's neck. Intending to finish him off, as I read the intent in his posture.

I ran forward again as soon as I had my feet under me, and caught a hold of Jack by his hair. I threw myself to the side, actually managing to pry Jack loose, but that was just because I pissed him off.

He rolled, and this time, I held on. Clinging as tight to him as I could as he twisted in an attempt to get me loose. I knew by the sounds he was making that I was hurting him.

All my rage came out in that one struggle. All my rage at the way he'd been treating me and at how easily he proved my efforts to be useless. All my rage at the fact that he _dared_ to try to take my best friend from me.

He'd crossed a line. He came close to crossing that line when he had Esme, but this was too much.

Somehow, I had managed to force him down before I even realized what I'd done. It was brief, but it was a turning point. I wasn't sure if it was because he had still been in that feeding frenzy, but whatever it was gave me the upper hand for just long enough for me to realize it. He rose up, and I held on. One fist still in his hair, and my legs wrapped around his back. I held on when I should have let go.

He snapped a hand back, managing to grab a rather violent hold of my hair on the back of my head. I reached my other hand up at the last second, grabbing onto his wrist as he roughly peeled me off of him.

He swung me forward, slamming me onto my back, but I went rag-doll. Spreading the impact over my whole body, which made it easier to bounce back. I scrambled, but I held on. Curling enough to bite him good in the side of his arm.

"Bitch!" He snarled, reaching for me with his other hand. I let go only to dodge his grasp. I rolled faster than I'd ever rolled before, ducking at all the right moments. I was more pissed than I'd ever been, and I wasn't even fighting for myself anymore.

"Leandra." Cole was stunned, but I ignored him. I needed my focus.

I darted up and forward, nearly scrambling back up onto Jack's back. Half a split second away from biting his shoulder when he managed to catch me again. This time, he wasn't letting go.

He dragged me over his shoulder and whipped me around, but I twisted, writhing in his grip. Kicking and scratching at him like a wild animal. That sure as hell made him let me go. He tossed me back with a growl, but I ran right back at him. He jumped away, allowing me to land right between him and where Cole tended to Mikah.

I crouched immediately, my entire body more tense than I'd ever felt it before. He could abuse me all he wanted to, but when it came to Mikah, there was no end to how vicious I'd be. Jack's shirt barely hung on him in shreds. His skin still healing from my attack.

"Go get them." I snapped back at Cole, "Please." Thankfully, he didn't hesitate. He believed I could protect myself while he was gone, which was probably the right move. He was gone in the time it took me to focus on Jack again. Jack smirked, knowing I was alone now, but not knowing I wasn't giving in again.

He stupidly charged forward again.

I ran forward to meet him, shoving him back but holding on. He reached down and wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up until I hung upside down. I curled up, attempting to break free that way, but he dropped down, pinning me, folded under him.

I was done letting him win.

I arched up as hard as I could, breaking his hold and using his weight against him as I rolled, pulling him off balance along with my movements to get free. He did what he could to counter, but I was already on his back. Without hesitation, I leaned forward and bit into the back of his neck. Not hard or deep enough to tear it free, but he certainly froze. I could twitch and kill him so easily. Any movement from him at all would be highly unwise.

It was a warning. He was suddenly so still under me, but I didn't let that make me let him go.

"Okay." His tone was calm, but I continued to growl, "Okay, you win."

Did he deserve to be let go? I trembled with the hate I felt. All the years, all the things he did to me kept me right where I was. All the ways he'd ruined my life, all the problems he'd caused, all the guilt I felt because of him. I could end it right then. I could spare anyone from having to deal with him ever again. I could save my family. I could save Mikah.

I could finally say I was brave enough to do what needed to be done to fix all the mistakes I'd made.

"Leandra?" Mikah mumbled.

In my distraction, Jack slammed his hand back and balled it in my hair at the top of my head. I winced in pain, unfortunately letting him go. He felt my teeth leave his skin and that was all he needed to end any sort of stillness he was using.

He jerked me free, the pain intense as he stood up with my head between his hands. He shot forward, pinning me against the wall. He squeezed my head tightly, forcing me to stay still.

Beside us, Mikah moved. I knew he had to have been in intense pain, as I never got a chance to remove the venom, but he moved. Jack was so focused on causing me pain, he never saw the fabric coming. Mikah threw the rest of his blood-soaked t-shirt right at Jack's face.

He flinched away from it just enough to give me an upper hand. I brought my feet up, placed them against the wall in front of me and shoved back. Knocking Jack back several feet and I rounded before I even landed.

I jumped right onto Jack again. This time I didn't even give myself a chance to think about what I was doing. I slid up his body, the top of my head moving his chin up and his head went back. I bit into his throat with all the force I could and turned my head, tearing his head free from his neck with the worst sound I'd ever heard in my life. He dropped, and I landed with him, cracking the concrete underneath us, as I finally let go.

Instantly, it stopped. Just like that, it was over, but I was still worked up. It took a second for my emotions to change, as the sudden stillness stole my focus.

What had I just done?

I jumped back, away from what I'd done and I landed in the far corner of the basement, crouching. Covering my head as the intense fear suddenly stole my fight.

I'd done it.

I knew it was an achievement, but right at that moment, I felt sick. I felt panicked. I felt petrified. I felt suddenly _angry_. I shouted in anger, a wordless cry that was the only indication of how I felt inside.

My shout made it over the sound of Mikah's cries of pain, which only then really seemed to register to me again. Suddenly, he was there again. I couldn't break down when he was there.

I gathered what I could of myself, and stood up. Approaching slowly, looking down at Mikah laying there. My heart was immediately in a thousand pieces as I took in what was happening.

I didn't even glance in Jack's direction. I couldn't.

With a quiet whimper, I kneeled beside Mikah, up near his head. Just watching the waves of pain never leave his features, his tightly shut gray eyes probably tearing up, but despite his pain, he helped me. He'd saved me. Without him, I probably would have lost that fight.

I felt so horrible watching him go through this, knowing exactly how he was feeling. It never should have come to this, but it was up to me right then to help him through this. It would be more horrible for him to feel alone during his change.

I dug down deep, looking for my compassion. It was hidden away after a fight like I'd just been in, but I found it. Mikah needed me.

"I'm so sorry I didn't get here sooner." I murmured quietly to him, and as soon as I spoke, he opened his eyes and looked up at me. His eyes expressed his pain so vividly, I nearly felt it myself. I knew just where he was right then. It was just beginning for him. Up until now, it'd been building up.

"Just hold on." I told him, "Don't be afraid. I promise it'll be okay. It'll get easier soon." He still had so many questions, and his confusion was hurting me even more. I did everything I could to remove my sadness from my tone, forcing it calm as I spoke again, "It's okay now. I know it feels like it, but you're not gonna die. You'll see."

He was beyond the ability to speak. I never really realized exactly what went into being the other side. The one that did the comforting. I remembered the pain Mikah was in now, and I honestly doubted my ability to help him.

Reaching over, I gently took his hand in mine. I hesitated, waiting to see if it would bother him. Given the way he immediately clasped onto my hand, I knew I wasn't bothering him. He held tight to my hand, and I added just enough counter-pressure to add support.

"It's okay." I whimpered again, "It's okay now." My emotions, so focused on anger and hate just moments before, sat hollow in sadness now. I brought my other hand up, holding onto his one violently trembling hand with both of mine now.

 **A/N: I'm SOOO sorry for the wait, guys! I'm really doing the best I can to get these chapters out to you. I won't give excuses, but on top of being a very anxious mommy to a headstrong toddler, I do have my issues I need to focus on sometimes. Especially this time of year.  
I do write as a way to get through times like these, but sometimes even Leandra isn't enough of a distraction. I'll just say that there's a reason why I write like I've been there. **  
**Anyhoo!  
I know it seems like a lot happened all at once in this chapter, but to be fair, it wasn't that easy to type out.**  
 **THANK YOU! To my AMAZING reviewers! Without you, I would probably lose motivation. Seriously. You don't know how much I appreciate you guys. Thank you.**  
 **Chapter ten will be out ASAP. As soon as I can get it out, I promise I will.**  
 **Until ten, my friends! (:**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Mikah was having a hard time. I could see it. We were only there alone for a few minutes, but it was getting worse for him.

"You'll be okay." I whispered, suddenly fearful, "You're my best friend. I couldn't let Jack take you from me too."

Just as I lowered my head in an attempt to hide my emotion, I heard a fast approach. More than one. More than two. More than three. A rather large group heading our way. I knew who it was, so I didn't bother moving. I didn't need to fight anymore. The threat was gone. Laying in two pieces somewhere behind me.

I didn't look up as the small basement behind me became crowded.

"Holy shit." Emmett was the first, and only, to speak, " _Shorty_."

Nobody else said a word. It really didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened. I did glance back, though. Part of me just needed to see them together again. It was really the first chance I had to focus on it. It would give me the strength I needed to give my strength to Mikah.

The sadness was the first emotion I saw mirrored in their eyes. All I saw after that, was the fact that they were back in sync. They stood together like a coven should, instead of just existing near each other. It was a sight I never thought I'd see. It was the little, subtle details I never would have picked up on when I was human.

I actually couldn't help my small, tearless sob as I looked back down at Mikah's pain. I couldn't help it. I didn't know how to handle it. I'd never felt like this before. So physically strong, yet completely powerless to stop what was hurting him.

I didn't have to look over when Esme approached me, kneeling beside me slowly.

"Are you okay?" She asked, concerned. I ignored the sound of Jasper and Emmett removing the evidence of what I'd done to Jack. Out of the room and up the stairs.

"I'm not hurt." I whimpered, shaking my head. I was far from okay, though. I knew she knew what was bothering me.

"Oh, honey." She murmured, "I'm so sorry." She was. I heard it. She was sorry for more than just what was going on with Mikah. She and I both knew he would be fine, but it was getting there from this point in the change was going to be hell.

It was more than that. She was sorry that I had to do what I did to Jack. From the start, I'd always questioned my ability to do what needed to be done regarding him. Not only because he was twice my size physically, but also because I had such an agonizing history with Jack. I already had that instinct ingrained into me to fear him, to follow him.

It needed to be done. He needed to be disposed of, but I never once wanted to be the one to do it. She knew this.

I didn't reply.

Reaching out, Esme gently placed her arm around my shoulders. Carefully, like she was testing to see if it would bother me. Almost exactly like I'd done with Mikah. I was torn, so I just let it happen at first. I felt the others watching, waiting for my reaction.

Eventually, I tore my eyes away from Mikah to look over at her. I had one thing I wanted to admit.

"I'm so scared." I admitted in a whisper. I was talking about trusting them again, and she knew that. They all knew that, but before Esme could respond, Rosalie did first.

"So was I." She said, and I looked back at her, "I was scared too. While Emmett was being turned." Her tone was still cold, but for the first time, she wasn't putting me down. She was comparing what I was experiencing to an experience she had. It was as much of an approval as I was sure I would ever get. I doubted she knew what that meant to me.

Putting that conversation back for later, I watched as Carlisle stepped forward next. I felt better with him there. He had the experience it took to stay calm in a situation like this, but for the first time, I was really seeing how hard it was to comfort someone who was going through this. No matter what I would say, it wouldn't make it better. I hated seeing this. I hated that he was in so much pain and I couldn't do anything to help him through it. As strong as I was, I felt completely worthless. It was a depressing feeling.

"Leandra." I glanced back at Jasper's voice behind me as both he and Emmett returned, "I'm proud of you."

"You are?" I asked hesitantly.

"For many reasons." He confirmed, "All along, you've been so brave, and when it came down to it today, you did what you needed to do."

"I'm not brave." I mumbled shamefully, looking back down at Mikah's hand in both of mine. I didn't dare let him go until he wanted me to. I knew eventually, he would want me to let go, but right then, he needed something to keep him grounded.

"Yes you are." He replied easily, "I'll never forgive myself for what I did, but for what it's worth, I'm proud of who you've become."

"That wasn't you, though." I pointed out quietly.

"I had enough to do with it." He argued, "It may have been Jack that took it to extremes, but had I not already felt that way-"

"You never would have done anything if it wasn't for him." I replied, "You don't have to beat yourself up." I trailed off as I went back to watching Mikah. I knew eventually we would have to move him, but I was honestly hesitant to touch him at all besides his hand. I knew exactly how overwhelming it was to be in that much pain, and then have people fretting over you.

"I also cannot express how proud I am of you." Carlisle spoke up beside me, and I looked up, surprised. _He_ , of all people, was proud of what I'd done? "I know how it must have bothered you, but I'm glad you're okay."

"I didn't want to do it." I admitted, shaking my head a little, "But I had to. He could hurt me all he wanted to. I don't care, but when he tries to hurt the people I care about, it's too much."

"Do you really feel that way?" Carlisle asked, as something about that bothered him.

"Yes." I answered easily, "It was fine when it was just me and him. I'd get kicked around all day if he wanted, but then he went after Esme. Then Mikah. I just had to."

"Kicked around?" Emmett asked, surprised, "You put up with that?" Quietly, I nodded.

"I could handle that better than everything else." I murmured, "Even if I did heal right after."

"What's everything else?" Rosalie asked, and I heard the frown in her tone. I pursed my lips, refusing to answer.

"What Gage said," Emmett pressed, "That was a regular thing?" Again, I nodded quietly. I'd probably never let on how much that bothered me.

"And you're saying.." Alice murmured, speaking up for the first time, "That you allowed that?"

"If nobody else had to go through it, I would have put up with it as long as I had to." I said, "But he wasn't sticking with it. I couldn't let Esme go through what my mom went through. He only went after Mikah to get me back. Jack ruins people, and he was doing it again. I only killed him because I had to, to protect everyone else. I didn't do it to get him back for what he did to me." That was an important distinction to make.

Beside me, Esme hugged me again. The best I could while my hand was still clutched in Mikah's hand, I returned it.

"Dude better be glad she took care of him before I heard her say that." Emmett grumbled.

I didn't move, listening to a smaller group approaching quickly. Shannon led the way into the basement, followed closely by Gage and, surprisingly, Brett. Cole followed them, staying on the stairs. Probably as lookout. They slowed once they got down the stairs, probably because of the group already here. The room was small as it was.

"We sent the others home." Gage told me, glancing toward my family, "We didn't want them in the middle of this."

"I don't blame you." I said, "But it's okay now. It's safe now. He's gone."

"Good." Shannon muttered, "He needed to be taken out."

I jumped a little as Mikah suddenly pulled his hand away from mine. He must have reached his tolerance level, and I respected that.

"It's okay." I spoke to him again, "I'll explain everything." He didn't reply, but I knew he heard me. I took that opportunity to stand up, looking back at Shannon and the other two standing back by the door.

Brett was highly skittish, still not having said a word to anyone that wasn't his size. I knew being in such tight quarters with everyone else had to be getting to him.

I sighed, watching as Brett looked over at the others nervously. Taking a step back the opposite direction, despite the fact that none of them had moved. Shannon placed a careful, comforting hand on his shoulder. He accepted it, but it didn't seem to help any. I decided to explain.

"Brett went through everything I did." I said, looking over as Carlisle stood up as well, "For a lot longer than I did. He's got almost the same story as I do."

"That's why you two are drawn to each other." Shannon nodded sadly, "You get along so well because you understand. Except he only stayed because he didn't have any other choice. He only left when his creator got tired of him."

So Brett didn't have any closure like I did. No wonder he was always so fearful.

"If you wanna go," I said to him, "It's okay." He didn't say anything in return, and he didn't move.

"What happened?" Gage asked me, moving the subject along, "How did you do it? I don't think any of us have ever tried to take on someone his size alone." I sighed.

"Long story." I mumbled, "I couldn't lose. Not again." I paused, looking down, "I had help."

"Who?" Alice asked, and I glanced over.

"Mikah helped me."

"He helped you? While he was like this?" Gage asked, surprised, and I nodded, " _How_?"

"He distracted him." I explained, "Just for a second. Just for long enough for me to get loose."

"Well, I'm glad." Shannon murmured, "It takes a lot to say a human helped one of us. Especially with venom in them."

We all fell quiet, though, looking over as Brett inched forward, back into the room. Mikah's pain continued, and I knew that that was what Brett was looking at.

"Brett?" I asked quietly, confused. I was actually stunned as he started forward. Toward the large group, instead of away from it. Stepping carefully around Emmett and Alice standing there, almost sliding along the wall to avoid them, but he made it slowly to the far corner, and Carlisle's side. The closest he'd ever tried to be to anyone so far.

Nobody said anything as he kneeled beside Carlisle, peering down at Mikah. Carlisle crouched as well, no doubt as curious as we were. I'd never seen Brett act like this before, so I was puzzled.

"Watch." Shannon murmured quietly, so I knew she knew what he was doing.

Reaching one hand out, Brett placed his hand lightly over Mikah's forehead. Almost instantly, Mikah calmed down. His frown stayed, but he was calmer, despite still trying to catch his breath. I saw the tension visibly smooth away from his entire body. Mikah's hands loosened from their trembling fists, and he breathed deeply.

It was such a difference, I was stunned. How grateful I felt was almost overwhelming, so I looked over at Gage for an answer.

"Brett takes away physical pain." Gage explained, gaining everyone else's attention, "It's a little useless when it comes to us, but in times like this.."

"How did I not know this?" I asked, astonished.

"I don't like to see anyone suffer." Brett added quietly, nervously, looking back at us as he sat upright, "And if Leandra fought to protect him, he must be a good person, so I wanted to help. He'll be okay. He's still hurting. I couldn't take it all away, but he's okay."

If he was okay, I was okay.

"Thank you." I told him as sincerely as I could, and he smiled a little.

"I've never seen anything like this." Carlisle was the first of the others to speak to him, and Brett looked over at him.

"Nobody ever has." Brett replied, shrugging, "I use it a lot when we hunt. I feel bad." He looked back down at Mikah, "But we gotta move him soon. Before it starts to wear off."

I agreed, "Someone's gonna find him down here. I'd do it, but.. He's way bigger than me." I could lift him just fine, but it would be awkward.

With a small chuckle, Emmett started forward. It was amazing how easily Mikah took to being carried. I remembered being so overwhelmed at any contact, but Mikah didn't seem to even notice.

"Where to, shorty?" Emmett asked a simple question, but it was a little more complicated of an answer. I had a choice to make. Where was I most comfortable? Where did I want my best friend to be during such an agonizing time? I found I couldn't be stubborn when it came to Mikah, and it was a no-brainer. I glanced over at Carlisle, and though I knew he'd never pressure me, I could see he anticipated my answer as much as anyone else.

I took a moment longer to look back at Jasper standing there. He was looking down, but looked back up as Alice nudged him.

"I promise to do better." I mumbled, "Can we start over? Can I have another chance?"

I knew what committing to this would mean. It would mean drastic changes to my lifestyle and working on getting passed the mistreatment I'd endured the last few months. It was something the Tacoma kids had worked with many, many times but I wanted to stay with my family. It was all I ever wanted. I wanted to be home.

"Of course." He replied, "I'm more than willing to try again if you are. Especially after how I acted."

I accepted that with a nod, looking down for a moment before looking back at Emmett.

"Home." I murmured with a small nod, "Let's take him home."

He smiled, having heard what I didn't say, and he nodded.

Together, even the kids, we ran back home. Rosalie and Esme stayed behind to clean up any mess and erase whatever security camera footage that might become an issue later.

Emmett didn't hesitate in taking Mikah inside the house, and I knew he'd be more comforted in there. I had to wonder, though, if they ever finished fixing my room.

I watched Emmett carry him inside, but I didn't follow right away. Edward had found Carlisle as soon as we got back, talking to him off to the side while the others sort of dispersed themselves here and there around the area.

"Leandra." Shannon came to my side, Gage and Brett with her, "We have to get back, but we wanted to make sure you were okay first." I smiled sadly.

"I'm not hurt." I repeated my earlier words but she didn't buy it. Not for one second.

"But are you okay?" She insisted, "To be honest, you've seemed a little off since before New York."

"I just.." I muttered, "I guess I don't know how to feel. It all hasn't caught up yet, so I guess I feel kinda empty." She nodded a little.

"I've been there." She replied, "Keep your family close. You've fought hard for them. I think with time, you really have a chance now, but if you ever need us for anything, please don't wait to come find us."

"I'll be visiting." I assured her, "I promise."

"And don't forget to let us know when it's safe to move back to Tacoma." Gage requested, "Carlisle says we can come back anytime."

"Definitely." I agreed.

"And I hope you don't mind, but we'll be staying in touch with Cole." Shannon requested, "We like him." She glanced over at where he stood talking to Esme and Alice. I nodded.

"He's a good guy." I replied, "I've known him for a long time too." She smiled a little. Reaching forward, she hugged me, and I returned it hesitantly.

Gage hugged me next, followed last by Brett.

"Forgive yourself." He whispered, but I didn't know how to reply to that. Those two words really got to me. I just hugged him tighter, because he knew. I didn't feel like forgiving myself. I felt like crying, but of course, we couldn't do that.

With a nudge to Gage, Shannon turned and walked away. Gage followed her easily, both of them probably hoping I would talk. I couldn't help myself.

"I can't." I whispered back, closing my eyes. I would never forgive myself for everything that happened to me.

He pulled back to look at me, and immediately, I knew he felt the way I felt.

"You're one of the bravest kids I've ever known." He told me, "You don't even know how long I've looked up to you."

"You shouldn't." I replied, "I'm not brave."

"Wanna know something?" He asked, and I nodded so he spoke again, "You know how Gage said we'd been following you since that first night you woke up?"

"Yeah." I muttered at his prompting.

"Well, that wasn't the full truth." He admitted, and I frowned a little, "We had been following you since you first woke up, but we first found you that day you were here. When you were human."

"How?" I asked, surprised.

Hesitantly, he looked over at my family. They were still preoccupied with their own discussions, so he turned, and I followed him. Slowly, we started to walk.

"We had been keeping our distance from your coven for awhile." He explained, "But now and then, we liked to keep tabs on what they were doing. We crossed your scent in town, and we came here that night. 'Cause we were curious."

Naturally. I could definitely understand how my scent would capture their interest.

"We didn't even know you were a kid until we saw you the next day." He went on, "The day the cops came and took you away."

That was the day I first woke up from my last vision here on the couch. The day I first realized something was wrong with me.

"That long?" I asked, surprised.

"We heard the things you said." He admitted quietly, "Even when you were human, you were so brave. When Carlisle brought you back here a few days after that, we knew to be waiting for you when he turned you. Call it a sixth sense, but we had a feeling Carlisle wouldn't be able to help turning you. Thinking he was _helping_."

"He was trying to help me." I defended him.

"I know." He nodded, "He's not a bad guy, but in moments like that, they don't really stop to think it through until after it's already done, but it always starts the same. So.." He hesitated, "We were hoping to convince you to come with us before you had to know what it was like to be chased away."

We made it to the beginning of the drive way, still in view of the yard and everyone in it but far enough away for us to talk somewhat privately.

"What I wanna know.." He mumbled, "Is why you think you're not brave."

"Because I'm not." I answered quietly, "I only did the things I did because I was afraid of everything going wrong again. I had to do things differently, and I couldn't let them save me because I was afraid. How is being afraid being brave?"

"You did the things you did to protect your family." He corrected me, "You weren't afraid for you. You were afraid for them, and that made you do the things you did. And you didn't do anything wrong. It was _Jack_ that deserves all the blame. Not you."

I looked down, and he sighed.

"I know." He murmured, "It's not that easy."

"But..?" I prompted him to continue.

"No 'but'." He replied, "It's not easy. It just isn't. Some of us just end up in the wrong hands, and all we can do is just get through it. It's not easy. I'm not gonna tell you it is, or that all you need is good people, because sometimes that just isn't enough. Sometimes you're just let down. I've heard that lie enough times."

Nobody rushed us. We talked for probably an hour longer before I needed to get back to Mikah, so we made our way back to the middle of the yard. Shannon and Gage didn't leave him. We found Shannon standing back, watching everyone else.

For a second, she didn't acknowledge us. Deep in her own thoughts, and it was a sharp reminder that she had her own demons to fight. She was always so open and supportive, it was almost easy to forget that.

I stood with her in silence, Brett standing to my other side. Out in the yard, Gage stood talking to Carlisle. Once again, the sight was a reminder. Seeing them both standing there, it was strange to think that Gage was as much of a leader as Carlisle was. Along with Shannon, Gage was a kid, hardly taller than me and just as slight, yet he pretty much kept the Tacoma coven going. Gage was someone irreplaceable to them. Just as much as Carlisle was to us. It just really went to show that physical size definitely didn't mean much.

"I'm sorry." I spoke to Shannon, and she looked over, "That I'm staying here."

"I get it." She assured me, "I know. You want to make it work here, and that's okay. Just remember that the offer is always open." I nodded, sighing. I was glad she wasn't upset with my choice.

"Believe me." Brett murmured, "If any of us had a family like you have, we'd have fought for them too. I just hope they figure out exactly what it took for you to do that. That should be proof enough that they have a good person."

I had a feeling that that's what Gage was talking to Carlisle about. We fell quiet again, watching Gage finish up his discussion and start walking in our direction.

"Hopefully things can get back to normal now." Gage sighed as he reached us, "We should get back."

Brett nodded a little before he looked to me, "If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me."

"You too." I offered quietly, "And thank you. So much, for.. What you did for Mikah."

"You're welcome." He replied easily, "I don't know how long it'll last, though, because I've never tried it for something like this before."

"I'll let you know." I said, as I knew that this was probably good information to know.

When they were gone, I looked at the house, considering going inside to check on Mikah. I couldn't yet, though. I needed to get myself right emotionally before I could be strong for him.

"Leandra." I was approached next by Jasper. He seemed hesitant, and I couldn't blame him. I was still jumpy, especially when it came to him. It would take me a little while to trust him, if I ever did.

No one else was paying attention, so I couldn't help being edgy.

"I only want to talk." He assured me, probably having felt my nervousness, "I feel like there's one more thing I have yet to address. I can't tell you how badly I regret the things I said that night."

"I know." I replied, "You never would have said them if it wasn't for Jack. That's what he does.. Or.. Used to do, now I guess."

"I know you're conflicted."

"That means confused, right?"

"Basically." He allowed, so I nodded.

"I know I'm supposed to be happy he's gone." I said, "I've never been the one to.. Do it before. Maybe that's why I didn't wanna do it, but I took the chance I had, and now.. I don't know."

"You were protecting yourself, Leandra." He replied gently, "Self defense is one of our most basic instincts. There is no limit to how far you'd go to save your own life."

"It wasn't me I was protecting." I frowned a little, confused.

"Protecting your life doesn't only mean staying alive." He explained, "It means protecting those that mean the most to you, no matter the cost. In a sense, that's what you've been doing since the night I forced you to leave."

That made sense.

"I tried to lie about it, because despite thinking it was for the best, I felt ashamed." He went on, and I looked down, "I just couldn't bring myself to be honest about it. With myself, or with the family. Certainly not Alice. I didn't want to admit that I was the monster I was, so I fabricated the story, and I believed it for a time."

"You're not a monster." I replied, "I never thought you were."

"Thank you." He smiled slightly, but it was a sad one, "You're too forgiving."

"Jack was training me." I admitted, "I don't know if it was his gift that let him do it, but.. I feel like.. Like I let myself and everyone else down because he could get to me so easy. Maybe that's why I never really fought back, and I just told myself it was for different reasons."

"Perhaps." He allowed, "From what I've experienced myself, I know his gift was nothing to underestimate. I'm not surprised he would use it on you. Please don't feel guilty for what you did today. You knew better than anyone that it could only have ended one way."

"I never wanted to do that." I admitted quietly, "Even after everything he did to me.. In those weeks after I last left here, before Esme came back.. If I thought everything would go back to how it was before, without Esme or Mikah, I probably wouldn't have done it."

"You would have endured that abuse?"

"I know that sounds stupid." I muttered, looking down, "But I would have, if it meant I never had to kill him myself, or that nobody else would have had to suffer like I was."

"The fact that you weren't tempted, even the slightest, to end him and his abuse tells me that you're too kind of a person." He told me, and I sighed.

"He was always the one person that was always there." I replied, "As weird as it sounds, he was my square one. I don't really know how to live without him being something I gotta worry about."

"It'll come to you." He assured me, and we both glanced over as Carlisle approached. Given his expression, I knew he had been listening. Jasper looked at me again, probably sensing Carlisle wanted to talk to me. He gave me a small nod, "Welcome home, Leandra."

"Thanks." I forced a small smile, watching as he turned and walked away. I knew it would take some time before we were on good terms, but with us both willing to try, I could see how it could work out.

"I can't help getting the impression that you believe you've done something bad." Carlisle pointed out as he arrived at my side. Just like Gage had to, I had to look up to look at him. I would never get used to that feeling.

"No." I murmured, "I know it was for the best, but.. I didn't think it would be this hard."

"Change is difficult." He replied, "Especially when it's so sudden, but the worst thing you can ever do to yourself is fixate on the way you think things should be."

"I can't help it sometimes." I admitted, closing my eyes, "I can still see how it was before. What's getting to me the most is how I feel like I'm supposed to be so close to everyone, but I'm the only one. I thought it was supposed to get easier. Not more confusing."

"It'll get better." He told me, "And I firmly believe that it'll get easier. I can't imagine how hard it is to see the differences."

"Mikah is the only thing that's been on time since all this started." I said, "I met him when I was supposed to, and now he's being turned when he was supposed to. I know that seems stupid."

"It's not stupid." He replied, "You find meaning in your experiences, Leandra. It brings you comfort. You're such a strong person. Please never lose that."

"I don't feel strong." I sighed, "I wish people would stop saying that."

"There's more to strength than physical." He reminded me, "I see a lot in you. You're willing to stay, despite what happened months ago between Jasper and yourself."

"Maybe I'm just stupid."

"No." He corrected me, "You're understanding. You're compassionate." I smiled a little at that word.

"I learned from the best." I admitted, glancing up at him, "A long time ago."

"You're a compassionate person, Leandra." He confirmed, "And I'm proud of you for that, among other reasons, but that's not to say that even the kindest of people have their breaking point. Compassion only carries us so far. When our loved ones are threatened, there comes a point where that compassion must end." He paused for a moment, "Thank you."

That surprised me.

"For what?" I asked, looking up at him fully now.

"For keeping Esme safe when she wouldn't allow me to do so." He clarified, and I immediately shook my head. I looked over at where she stood with Alice and Jasper, my smile fading fast.

"I had to." I mumbled, "Seeing her like that with him scared me. You should be thanking Eli. He got her out of there. I know if he hadn't done that, she would have kept going and probably gotten hurt herself. Jack was getting.. Well, pretty mad."

"It was you, however, that made it possible for him to get in and get her out of there." He argued lightly, and I hesitated. I never thought of it like that. If I hadn't gotten back up, Eli wouldn't have been able to run in and get her. He probably would have just settled with getting me out.

Carlisle went on, "And to know what you went through because of that, it hurts me."

"They told you." I sighed, disappointed in that bit of news.

"They came to us." He nodded, "And yes, they told us what was happening. My biggest regret is not arriving sooner."

I was quiet for a moment, not sure what to say.

"I wanna say I'm fine after what he did, but.." I hesitated, "I'm not." I felt like I could admit that now. My voice quieted, "I'm _really_ not. I will be, but right now, I'm not."

"I can't express how sorry I am." He murmured, "I don't know what to say."

"It's okay." I replied, "There's nothing really you can say to make it okay. That's one of the things I never got used to."

"Because it's unnatural." He answered, "What Jack did to you was never meant to happen."

"It happened all the time." I reminded him, "I know it wasn't supposed to happen, but it did. I never got used to it happening. I just sort of expected it."

"The fact that you're so calm about this concerns me."

"It was my normal." I shrugged a little, "Just like Jack was. Maybe because I knew him so long? I don't know. I know it'll bother me for a long time, though, but I guess right now I'm kinda numb."

He nodded, "That's understandable."

I fell quiet, watching the yard despite how I knew he watched me. My emotions were not easily identifiable. I didn't know how to feel, but I also knew he was reading each of those emotions in my eyes.

"The worst part of all this.." I mumbled without looking at him, "It wasn't what Jack did to me, or to anyone else. It's not that I had to be the one to kill him. The worst part wasn't even that I spent so much time with him. I would go through all that over and over.." I trailed off, hesitating. Biting my lip a little as the familiar wound opened again.

"What is it?" He asked gently. I looked down.

"The worst part of.. Well, everything.." I said, "Is that.. Still no one really knows why I did everything I did. I didn't do what I did because I'm brave, or whatever. Being brave didn't have anything to do with it. I was _so_ scared the whole time."

"You did what you did because of the memories you held onto from the vision."

"Mostly." I confirmed, "I think I just don't really know what I'm supposed to do. I _can't_ not feel the way I do about everyone. I forgave Jasper so easy because I know the _real_ him. He doesn't even know how good of a person he is. I lived with him. I grew up, being taught things I never would have learned if it wasn't for him. Or you, or Esme. Everyone raised me just as much as you two did."

I closed my eyes, "I can still see things the way I saw them, and every time I do, the fight starts all over again. Part of me knows I need to stop thinking about that time, but.. At the same time.. I don't wanna let it go. It makes me feel really, really lonely."

He was quiet, so I went on.

"I did everything I did because I wanted to fight for my family." I murmured, "The family I know. Not.. The Jasper here, now. The Jasper I know. The one that taught me how to defend myself. The one that helped me _so_ many times when I was feeling too much. The one that took me away when it got too dangerous. The one who kept me safe.

"I fought for the family I know." I continued, quieter now, "The family that did _everything_ they could to make me see what they saw. The ones that did everything they could to teach me how to be human. The ones that took me in, brought me up from nothing.. The ones that taught me how to trust. And Love. And _believe_ in something. The ones that never treated me any different because I was the way I was. I had _so_ many problems, but nobody ever gave up on me. No matter how many reasons they had, or how many times I wanted to give up on myself. You don't know how much that push meant to someone like me."

Honestly, it felt good to finally find words for how I was feeling and the way I remembered things. I'd struggled with that this entire time.

I couldn't help smiling a little as I finally looked over and up at him, "You have no idea how much me and you have been through."

"Perhaps not." He replied, "But I'd love to hear about it when you're comfortable."

"Yeah." I nodded a little, smiling a little more. That didn't seem like such a bad idea. I didn't have a reason anymore to hide anything. I could start sorting through these memories now and I could tell them some stories they'd never believe.

"I like that idea, shorty." Emmett chimed in as he arrived at my other side, "Tell me. Was I as awesome then as I am now?"

"More." I admitted after a second of thought, "You gotta try harder." He smirked, obviously knowing I was joking. I went on, "I like that idea, too. I can tell you so many things.. Exactly how it's supposed to be. How I remember it happening."

"I can honestly say that I look forward to it." Carlisle smiled a little, and I nodded again. My smile faded, though, as I sighed.

I had something I needed to do, though. I knew right where I wanted to go.

"I'm gonna go see Mikah." I mumbled, my tone quiet.

"Please," He replied, "Let me know if you need anything." I nodded silently before I started off.

The entire time I spent walking inside, I felt relieved. I wouldn't be bothered, or asked to talk. I didn't exactly feel bothered, but it would take me awhile to get back to feeling okay.

I followed the sound of Mikah's heartbeat into my room on the first floor. The same guest room that I'd been turned in. I wasn't sure if they meant it to mean so much, but it really did. I silently walked into the room, closing the door behind me.

I approached the side of the bed, watching him. It was almost like he was sleeping, aside from the tense crease in his brow and how he trembled. I knew he was still okay, thanks to Brett, but he was still hurting too.

"It's okay." I whispered to him, carefully sitting next to him. He opened his eyes, and looked at me. I knew he had questions, but he couldn't exactly ask them.

"Thank you." I whispered, "For helping me." He didn't reply, but I could see the subtle way his eyes changed.

I stayed beside him, watching him. He didn't cry out, but his breathing was fast, so I knew he was still in a lot of pain. When I talked, I kept my voice quiet. I never expected a reply, but I knew it would help him a lot if I explained exactly what was happening to him. I did my best to comfort him without bothering him.

I told him, as gently as I could, that everything he knew was changing. He would be okay, better than okay, but he would never be the same.

Daringly, I told him about me. My visions, and about the fact that I'd known him for so long, but he only knew me briefly. I told him exactly why I was so attached to him, and exactly why I considered him to be my best friend.

I told him that he would be a little afraid when he woke up, but not to worry, because I'd be there. I would help him. I would show him all there was to know about everything there was to know about this life. I told him that as long as he wanted me to be there, he would never be alone.

I felt like I talked those entire two and a half days, and in his final few hours, I was quiet, aside from when I told him that it was almost over. I stayed directly beside him the entire time, completely neglecting the fact that I needed to hunt. He was far more important to me, and I was determined to be there when he first opened his eyes.

It was almost unnerving. Sitting there beside him the entire time, I could see the changes happening. I could hear his heartbeat fighting it, continuing to push the venom through his body. His scent changed from fragile and human, hardening into his own personal scent that I would know forever. So familiar to me, but brand new to him.

His wounds closed, his skin smoothed and lightened into porcelain. It was such a horrible thing, but amazing to be able to watch.

When his heart finally stopped, and the room fell silent, I wanted to mourn, but I also knew it was okay. It meant his pain was gone. He wasn't hurting anymore. I gave him his time to come to terms with this, and to get his first feel for the way he was now.

I watched closely as his eyes did open. He was still at first, and I stayed still. I wanted him to see me first before I spoke. I didn't want to startle him. I would let him adjust on his own first.

I knew the others were waiting just outside the door, probably in case he was a little too unmanageable, but I felt confident enough that I'd be okay.

He suddenly sat up, and it seemed to startle him. I couldn't help laughing a little at that, and the sound brought his attention to me.

"It's okay." I told him, and I watched the recognition enter his eyes. He recognized me instantly, but my voice especially. I'd been talking to him this whole time.

"Leandra?" He seemed confused, and I smiled a little.

"Just sit for a second." I suggested, "Get used to yourself before you try to move too much, or you'll just freak yourself out. Trust me." Hesitantly, he nodded.

"What is that?" He asked, frowning a little, and it took me a moment to understand what he meant.

"The others." I said, "My family. They're okay." He still seemed nervous, so I smiled a little, "Can you try to stand up? Slow?" He hesitated, so I decided to show him, standing slowly. He was suddenly on his feet, and I laughed again.

"Shit." He muttered, looking around himself, "I-I'm sorry, I don't mean-"

"It's okay." I assured him easily, "We have lots of time to work on that." He was very disoriented, and I wanted to ease him.

"What you said.." He started, "Before.. Did you mean it?"

"About what?"

"I'm a vampire?" He asked, and I paused briefly, looking down as my smile faded.

"Yeah." I replied, "It's true. I mean, there are some cool parts of it, but.. Mostly, there's a lot of things you can't do now."

"Why are you sad?" He asked, confused.

"Because I didn't get to save you." I answered and he laughed a little humorlessly.

"I barely remember that day."

"It'll come back to you." I replied, "Unless you'd lost too much blood to remember."

"All I remember.." He mused, "That guy."

"Jack." I muttered, "He's gone now. You don't have to worry-"

"I was worried about you." He cut me off, "I was so bummed when I saw that you'd shown up."

"Me?" I asked, surprised, "You weren't afraid?"

"Well, yeah." He answered, "He was a psychopath, but I was more worried about what he would do to you when you got there." I watched as he frowned a little, looking down at me, "Can I get some.. I don't know.. Some water or something?"

He gestured to his throat, and I couldn't help laughing again. I clearly heard a snicker from out in the hall as well.

"What?" He laughed a little, "I feel like I swallowed burning coal."

"Water isn't what you want." Unfortunately, I giggled. Totally embarrassing myself, but he just smiled. I offered my hand, "I'll show you."

He took it, and though his first few steps were fast, I slowed him down. From one end of the room to the other, I showed him how to take slower steps.

I carefully opened the door, and he seemed nervous again.

"It's okay." I told him again, and he seemed to believe me as we peered out into the hall to find most of the others were further back. It looked like they were leaving the way clear for us to leave.

"Hunt first, honey." Esme told me, and I understood. Introductions would probably go better after he'd hunted. I had to remember that this time, he'd never met them before. Only Edward, and that was briefly.

"Hunt?" Mikah asked, looking down at me, "Wait. Humans?" Well, that posed a problem. I hadn't exactly thought about it. I'd been hunting humans for so long, I nearly led him straight for that path, but I couldn't do that.

"No humans." Thankfully, Emmett answered him for me, "We do things a little differently."

 **A/N: I know this is mostly filler, but that's okay. :) I like how it came out after the faster pace of last chapter.  
THANK YOU! To my REVIEWERS of last chapter! THANK YOU! HUGE THANK YOU!  
Chapter Eleven.. Might take some time. I will say that. I haven't decided yet on how things need to play out, but I'll do my best to get it out in a reasonable time. How chapter eleven goes decides whether or not there's another chapter to this particular story or if it's the last. It's that important, so I have to take my time with it. To say Leandra's been fighting me this entire time is an understatement lol and to be honest, I think it shows. I've definitely got this story set aside for a rewrite at some point in the future.  
Anyhoo!  
Until Eleven, my friends! Wish me luck!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

I tagged along on their hunt, just so I could get a feel for it again. I knew the difference between right and wrong, and hunting humans was wrong.

At one point, I sat off to the side, just watching as Jasper talked to Mikah. I'd never known Mikah so early into his new life, but really thinking about it, he was turned around this time every other time, so at least I could count on Mikah to be on time. Even if I knew now that nothing else would ever be the same. Not without Jack constantly terrorizing us.

It was during this trip that I began to feel differently about what had happened. How I felt about what I did started to change. It lightened a bit, and yeah, it was a bit sad that I had to go that far, but he would never have stopped. Like Jasper said, I was only protecting my life and the people in it. Had Jack left me with any other options, I probably never would have done it, but he didn't. He decided his own fate. I still wasn't happy that I was the one that had to do it, but I was the only one with the opportunity at the time.

In the end, this was the only possible option, and bottom line, I'd won. I actually won. Nobody would ever know what that meant to me, after living my entire life so far losing to him. Losing everything to Jack, while he took everything he could from me.

I was stronger. Faster. His hands would never bring me pain again. His eyes would never intimidate me again. His voice would never scare me, his presence would never bother me again. He would never come back. He would never again plot to tear us apart, and the threat was erased from my life.

Despite that fact, though, I had a lifetime worth of memories still stuck inside my head. Those would always be there, and I had a feeling that even a vampire couldn't run from their past. Only time would tell how badly those would get to me now that I didn't have the actual person there to add more to it. Now that I could focus on them. I could focus on them now, but at what cost?

"Hey." I looked over as Emmett approached me, "What's wrong, shorty?"

"Just thinking." I answered honestly, "I got a lot on my mind."

"Don't beat yourself up." He said, plopping down beside me, "You're too little to beat yourself up too."

"I can't help it." I shrugged a little, "It's.. Weird. I'm not proud of what I had to do, but I'm glad I did it."

"And that's okay." He replied, "That you still feel like this means he didn't beat the humanity out of you." I shrugged again, not believing him.

"He sure tried." I sighed, stretching my legs out in front of me, "All the time."

He fell quiet, but I could feel him watching me, so I looked over. I didn't like what I saw. The pity in his expression just made me look away again. I didn't need pity, but I could definitely use the hug he offered, so I allowed it.

"You're tougher than that, shorty." He told me as soon as he hugged me.

Mikah's first hunt was brief, as he was still getting a feel for everything, but I knew he was just processing everything. I knew that feeling, but it looked like he was having an easier time doing that than I'd had.

We were okay after that. We got back, and as I stood back and watched Mikah meeting everyone else, I realized I felt okay too. It took me a moment to understand that the way I felt was pretty connected to the way Mikah felt. He was nervous, so I was nervous. He felt comforted by meeting everyone, so I felt eased.

If he was okay, I was okay. That was beginning to mean a lot more than I thought it would.

It was like that even before he'd helped me in the basement that day. The fact that he helped me only intensified it. I knew in that one moment that I could never lose him. I also understood why Jack would suddenly fly overboard so fast over Mikah. He knew exactly what kind of bond I was building with Mikah and he must have felt that it was being reciprocated. I was coming to rely on him too much, just like I always did, and Jack didn't like that much.

I did have to confirm a few things with Mikah, recalling my last conversation with Jack, but that stuff could wait.

"I know that look." I glanced over at Rosalie's approach. I didn't know what to say. I still had plenty of hurt feelings over the things she'd always said about me. My silence didn't seem to bother her, though, as she went on.

"I see so much of myself in you." She murmured, "Maybe that's why I fought it so hard at first."

"I know." Finally mumbled, and she looked over at me, "I know you're not mean to me because you hate me. You never mean to be mean to anybody. You're just hurt. You get mad because you don't like thinking about what happened to me." She was silent as I paused, "I know."

"I know that look." She repeated after a moment, "You hate that he was turned, but you'd give anything to stay by his side. You fought for him. You stayed with him, and you haven't left his side yet. I don't think you really understand what that means."

"It means that if he's okay, I'm okay." I replied, "It means that anywhere he goes, I go."

"If you care about him at all," She murmured, "You won't tell him that."

"What?" I frowned a little over at her, "Why?"

"If you give him that amount of devotion, he'll feel obligated to return it."

"I don't know what that means."

"If he knows you feel that way about him, he'll never want to find a mate."

"He can find a mate." I replied, confused, "I don't care. I just want to be with him."

"Nobody signs on for a package deal." She explained softly, "He's not going to leave you behind if he knows how you feel, so he'll almost certainly remain single."

She had a point. I would kind of get in the way if he ever did want a mate. I wanted him to be happy. I didn't want to hold him back, so what she was saying made a lot of sense.

"I can still be around him for now, though, right?" I asked quietly.

"Of course." She said, "He's not going anywhere for awhile. I just don't want you to be hurt when he finally does." In her own way, she was honestly trying to look out for me. With a sigh, I nodded a little.

I could still be around him. I just couldn't let him know just how much he meant to me. Doing so would only hold him back, but for now, the rest of the world could wait.

I watched Mikah as he finally looked for me. Spotting me easily, he smiled over at me, and I couldn't help returning it.

He was also adjusting pretty quickly to the idea of where he stood now. He was being taken in by my family, and I knew it comforted him that he had plenty of people to show him the ropes. Having met Carlisle and Esme, he knew he was in good hands. Knowing that comforted him.

I felt a little better in knowing I had brought him here, but I wasn't sure if he truly understood the price of what all he was giving up. Somehow, I felt like I should be the one to explain it to him. It was a subject I'd tried to avoid so far, but he needed to understand.

"Mikah." I called, and he looked over again, "I think we better talk."

I decided to take him somewhere to be alone, just because I didn't want him to feel self conscious if he reacted badly about what I had to tell him. All he was giving up was a lot for him. His family, his home. He could never go back.

He followed me into the trees, and together, we went pretty far. As far as I dared, only partially allowing him to pick the direction. I was sure they respected my wishes and trusted me to keep him safe, because we really were alone.

Once we slowed to a walk, I didn't even really know where we were. I knew that wherever we were, it was long deserted. Not a soul had been here at any point recently. If ever. The trees around us were thick, the underbrush deep. Nothing but the smell of earth and several animals.

Somewhere ahead of us, I sensed the coast. I just didn't know where on earth that coast was.

"This is the weirdest thing." He laughed before we could really get onto the tough subject. "I feel like it's a dream or something."

"It's not a dream." I replied, walking along beside him, "Trust me. I wish it was, but it's not."

He laughed again, but didn't say anything. Leaving the conversation open for me to approach the subject. This was really hard for me. He deserved to know, but I really hated to crush him like this. It was a lot to lose.

"Mikah," I sighed after a minute, "I can't even tell you how sorry I am. This wasn't supposed to happen to you this time."

He looked over, hearing the change in my tone.

"What's bothering you, princess?" He asked, stopping short in our walk. I did the same, turning to face him.

"I'm so sorry." I repeated, "You got a lot by being turned, but you.. You lost so much."

"What do you mean?" He asked, crouching slowly.

"My family.." I started, "They're your family now. You can't go home again."

"You mean I can't see my family again?" He asked quietly, and I nodded, "Princess, I know that."

"You knew?"

"You told me." He confirmed, "Back at the store, remember? You said you really weren't supposed to be talking to me, but you were breaking the rules. That it was better if other humans didn't see you. I assume that applies to me now too."

Well, that made this whole discussion a little easier, but I still felt bad.

"Jon will step up." He assured me, sensing that I didn't feel much better, "He'll take care of the family along with my dad. It'll be tough, but they'll get by. It's weird, but I'm okay with what I left behind. I'm gonna miss them like crazy, but.. It's for the best. Besides. I have you now, and you seem to need me a whole lot more."

He knew that? I'd really misunderstood just how much he observed.

"I kinda do." I couldn't help admitting.

"I know." He nodded, "And that's okay. You told me you've known me for years. You wouldn't have come back for me if you didn't need me, so I'm happy to be there for you if you ever need someone. I just wish you would have talked to me like that in the beginning."

"I'm really sorry." I said again, quieter this time as I looked down.

"I understand why you couldn't." He replied gently, "God, you were such a scared little thing. The one thing I don't get is how you can be like this," He gestured to himself, "And still be so scared."

"I'm a little different." I admitted, "I feel things different than you or my family does. I'm.. Wired different, I guess."

"You're different?" He asked, and I nodded a little, "That just makes you more special. It's okay to be different. Yeah, not everybody understands that, but it just means I get to get to know your differences."

"Plus.." I went on, "Jack. He was so much stronger than me, even like this. I never meant for him to find out about you, and I thought I was being careful, but-"

"You did everything you could." He insisted, "I remember how hard you fought. I've never been more proud of you than I was that day, Princess." He studied me as I didn't reply, "But it wasn't just Jack, was it?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well," He sighed, "He's gone, and yet you're still terrified." I looked up, surprised. He sadly smiled a little, "I can see it. The way you never meet my eyes when we talk. The way you hold yourself together?"

I only then realized my stance. I stood there, feet together, arms crossed tight and folded across my stomach. Like I was cold, but I wasn't cold. I realized then that I did this all the time. This had to be what made them nervous.

"He told me." Mikah admitted in my silence, "He talked so damn much, about so many things but mostly about you. At first, he was only trying to talk me out of being so protective of you, but when he realized it wasn't working, he moved on to bragging."

That sure sounded like him.

"I understand." He insisted quietly, "You're afraid, but I promise you never have to be afraid again. I'm here now, and if there's one thing I take pride in about myself, it's how protective I am over my family."

Everything Rosalie said was probably going to happen anyway. I could hear it in his tone that he had found a purpose in me. I'd given him something to strive for. Unlike me in my early days, when I felt I no longer had a reason to exist, I gave Mikah a reason.

"You said you see me like a brother." He said, "Or a best friend. I can be that. If I'm the one you trust that much, I'm happy to be here for you."

With a quiet whimper, I stepped forward and hugged him tightly. I didn't need to be as careful as I always was, and I didn't need to feel cautious around him anymore. That took away so many hesitations I never even knew I had.

He returned my hug.

"Just promise me, okay?" I requested quietly, "If you ever wanna find a mate or something, you will?"

"You'll be the first to know." He assured me, "Why?"

"Rose said that you won't wanna because I'll be in the way." I admitted.

"Rose was wrong." He said, "You'll never be in the way. It's impossible." I felt so much better.

Unfortunately, even with Mikah, I couldn't stand contact for very long. I shied away, backing up after a moment, and though he seemed sad, he also seemed to understand.

"We'll get you there." He vowed, "One day, you'll be okay with being comforted. One day, you won't be so closed off. We'll open that door."

"I don't think I will." I muttered, looking down as I crossed my arms again, "Being open hurts."

"I'll never stop trying to change your mind." He smiled a little, but I shook my head. I'd never really had a chance to be open.

As soon as I was turned, I was so scared, and it never stopped. I had every reason in the world to be afraid. Jasper taught me that when he chased me away, and though it wasn't his fault, it sent me straight to Jack. Even the best of my intentions brought me so much pain and fear, which taught me that I had to be wary all the time. It was instinct at this point.

We stayed out.

I kept him in check all that night, mostly because I knew that was what he wanted. We hunted, then would just sit and talk. I was talking more to him now than I ever had over the last few months, and it was so relieving to not have to pick and choose what I could allow myself to say.

It seemed like I never shut up. I'd missed talking to him. _Really_ talking. I'd missed talking to him like this, really since I first woke up again. I'd never had a chance to say goodbye to him, and really for the first time, I felt like things could be normal again.

I sat and told him every detail about the visions, and exactly how well I knew him. All I knew about everything I'd been through so far. He sat there, listening to every word I said with interest. From there, it moved on to exactly what my ability could do.

"Man." He laughed after a particularly lengthy explanation, "Why couldn't I be gifted?"

"You are." I replied, "You speak my language. That's a gift by itself."

"True." He nodded a little, "But a little bit more wouldn't be unwelcome." I laughed this time, shrugging a little.

"I'd give you mine if I could." I said, "I don't want it."

Sitting there with him, though, I couldn't help thinking. It wouldn't be hard to hide away like this forever. It would be easy to just stay out here, and never go back. We were far enough out of the way that we would probably never be found, and almost zero chances of ever running into a human.

I couldn't do that, though.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Mikah asked after a minute of sitting in silence.

"Nothing." I sighed, "Well, more like everything at once."

"I've noticed that too." He nodded, looking back out over the valley below us. I'd never actually been out this way before.

"Might as well get used to that, because it doesn't get any easier." I muttered, "Sometimes I would kill for just one set of memories."

"Oh, yeah." He murmured, looking over at me, "Jeez, that has to be so hard."

"Nobody seems to really get it, and I guess I kinda get why, but it's still really lonely to have these memories of these people that.. I don't know.." I sighed in frustration, "It wouldn't be so hard if all of that wasn't real to me. It gets to me a lot. More every day I'm alive to think about it."

"And there's no way to turn it off." He sympathized, watching as I shook my head almost numbly. He spoke again, "That has to make it really hard to figure out where you stand."

"Very." I admitted quietly.

"I wish I knew how to help." He replied, and I shrugged. Crouching slowly, I curled upright. I just felt better being small. He watched me from where he stayed crouched, and I didn't even bother looking over. I knew he felt some pity for me, but I didn't want to see it.

"I just have a hard time letting go of how things should have been." I mumbled, "It's like trying to get over someone that you care about dying. I have to keep telling myself that none of that ever happened, and never will. It's worse now that I know that I never would have even had those visions if it wasn't for Jack."

"What do you mean?"

"Long story short," I sighed, "I had those visions because my mind knew something was wrong with me, and it sped things up, trying to make me see that I needed to get myself some help. I wasn't even supposed to have my gift yet, but because I was dying, it sort of made my mind panic." He sat in silence, trying to figure out what I was getting at, so I went on, "It was Jack beating me that made my mind develop that gift, and without that, I never would have even known my family at all."

He took a minute to reply, but eventually, he sighed.

"I can tell that bothers you." He pointed out.

"Yeah." I agreed quietly, "A lot. It's like.. I owed Jack for everything I ever loved or cared about, and that's a huge thing for me. It gets to me, and I know it shouldn't, but I can't help it sometimes."

"Princess.." He murmured, "You wouldn't have developed your gift if you weren't meant to have it. I think the.. Events behind it were pure coincidence."

"No." I replied sadly, "It wasn't. I was given those visions because my mind was trying to figure out a way to save my life. I knew that last beating had really done something, but I didn't know how bad it was until I had to ignore it."

He sat quietly now, probably deciding to let me continue. These were things I never actually talked to anyone about before. Venting to Mikah was always easy, so I felt comfortable enough to continue.

"All I ever wanted was a family." I mumbled, keeping my eyes down, "But when I woke up that last time, I knew I couldn't keep doing it. I knew that because I did things the way I did them, that I wouldn't make it back here alive, and that was okay with me."

"Don't say that." He frowned a little.

"I know it was wrong to think like that," I said, "But it's true. All I wanted was to fix everything, but all I did was make everything harder. I never wanted to be turned this time. You have no idea how much I'd already gone through, and I was so tired then. Why would I want to be turned and add more onto that?"

He was silent again, so I closed my eyes.

"I know it's impossible," I went on, quieter, "But I would love to just sleep. For a million years, I just want to sleep. I would give anything to make everything stop. To stop hurting over memories nobody else remembers, and to stop feeling like the people in those memories are dead."

"You're grieving over the lives you lived before."

"More than that." I replied, my eyes still closed, "But close. I lost so much when I woke up. Both times. I remember everyone I ever met, and all the people that used to mean so much to me are gone. I can't have them again." I hesitated for a second, before I looked over at him, "Except for you. That's why I couldn't just walk away and leave you alone. You're the one that's stayed the same through everything, and I couldn't lose you. I couldn't lose you, but at the same time, I never wanted you to be turned either. I wanted you to live your life the way it was supposed to be lived."

"I don't regret being here, Leandra." He assured me, "Choices are made, and lives are changed every day because of those choices. Every step we take brings us closer to whatever we're meant to be. I believe that."

"Me too." I sighed, "But there is one choice I wish was made different."

"You wish you were never saved." He understood.

"I wish I was never turned." I confirmed, "I feel so much, and I think so much, but I can't really explain what it's like, so I just.. Have to live with it. It gets to be too much sometimes, and sometimes, I just want it to stop. I don't know how to keep fighting."

"You don't need to anymore." He reminded me.

"I fight every day." I countered, "I meant fighting with myself. I just wanted to make everything right for everyone, but I couldn't make anything right for me. Now I'm miles behind, and there's nothing I can do about it."

"From what I understand, princess, we have plenty of time to change that." He smiled, "I think it's about time you have someone in your corner."

"Huh?" I wasn't sure what that meant.

"We'll make it right." He assured me, standing up, "Come on. Let's go back." I agreed. We couldn't stay out here forever, as much as I wanted to. He offered his hand to me, and though I didn't need it, I placed my hand in his and allowed him to help me up.

We took our time getting back, leaving behind the peaceful spot and heading back the way we'd come, but staying straight along the coast. I was so lost in my thoughts, I let Mikah lead the way. I just didn't feel right, which was weird to me, considering I'd just gotten a lot of years worth of worries off my chest in one night.

Out of the blue, in the time it took us to take one running step, I knew what was bothering me so bad. By the time I'd figured it out, the sharp scent was everywhere around us in every direction, and a sense of fear clenched my stomach.

I'd smelled that scent before. Not in this life, but in the visions. It wasn't a scent easily forgotten.

"Mikah," I spoke to him, grabbing his hand, "We can't go this way. We have to turn east." I pulled on his hand, and we both stopped. I looked around us in a mild panic, noting how thick the trees were. I knew we were close to home, but still so far.

"Why?" He asked, and a frown came to his face, "What is that?"

"Not our territory." I replied nervously, "We have to get home. Quick."

Before I was even finished saying that, we clearly heard the sound of heavy, running, pounding footsteps. I tensed in response, knowing exactly what that was. Turning to look back in that direction.

I grabbed Mikah's hand again and pulled him along with me as I started to run. Going this direction, though, the smell only continued to get stronger, and I started to get confused. We jumped over every fallen tree that crossed our path like they weren't even there, ducking easily under or around every branch that tried to slow us down.

I couldn't turn around, though, as those running footsteps were keeping steady behind us.

"What is it?" Mikah asked, clearly concerned. As he should be. Up ahead, there were two more, so I was forced to lead him another direction. I didn't know this area, and I was getting more and more terrified the longer we were chased. Getting terrified only mixed me up more.

"Wolves." I whimpered in answer as we pushed faster. He looked back, seeing what I knew was there, and though I knew he wanted to stop, I refused to let him.

"Those are some pretty big wolves." He frowned.

"They're not real wolves." I explained quickly, "They're pissed because we're on their land, and I can't find the way out."

"Come on." He moved up closer behind me, and though I was ahead of him, I let him lead the way.

He turned us just a bit to the left, leading us more north and east, and through my fear I could smell that he was right. The footsteps behind us got closer, though, and I looked back with a whimper. All four of these wolves were incredibly pissed, but as I looked forward again, I realized there was one up ahead. They were herding us.

With a growl of effort, I forced Mikah to turn, and we ran parallel to the river now. Away from the one waiting there.

Our eyes were still crimson. They would never believe we were part of the family, and they weren't out to chase us away. From what I knew about these wolves, they didn't tolerate our kind anywhere near their territory, and those who crossed into it weren't just given a stern warning.

"Shorty." To my surprise, Emmett was just across the river, running along with us, "Up ahead, there's a sharp bend. Cross there."

I was panicked, as I could feel each of the four wolves behind us as they ran. Their footsteps were far heavier than our own, tearing up the ground as they ran, and it was terrifying.

"Stop." Emmett was talking to them now, "They were confused. Let them out."

Of course nobody replied to him. The one beside us was just as fast as I was, and though I saw the bend Emmett was talking about, I couldn't get to it. Mikah tried, but I had to jerk him back as the one to our left thought he'd take the opportunity. Jumping for him, which made us have to counter his movements.

We both slid, turning to face that one, but it slowed us down. The four behind us refused to slow down, which only brought them closer. I turned to continue on, but there was one right there now, forcing us to turn away, but everywhere we turned now, there was a wolf.

I was too afraid to even speak at this point, pressed against Mikah's side.

Behind us, across the river, I knew Emmett really wanted to come help us, but he would have to explain from over there. He would only make things worse if he crossed over to our side.

It was silent for a few seconds while we faced these angry wolves, but for some reason, they were hesitating. Instead of shredding us to pieces as soon as they had the opportunity, they kept us from running off.

"They didn't know." Emmett called quickly, "They're new." As soon as he said that, the largest one turned his glare onto Emmett. I didn't understand why that would anger him.

Thankfully, I looked back as Carlisle arrived. I couldn't get to him, as we were now more tightly surrounded by these wolves, but I knew he could see how terrified I was. The amount of hate in these wolves was disorienting. We sort of turned on the spot, Mikah's arm out holding me behind him as we were circled by five of them.

"They weren't turned by us." Carlisle called, "We took them in." I suddenly remembered, through the fog of panic, their agreement with these wolves. I was told a long time ago that they were never allowed to turn any more humans.

I flinched as a gray one pacing behind us snapped at us, and I yelped. Clinging tighter to Mikah, and his growl was out of pure instinct made me hold my own arm out to keep him from responding. He was just as scared as I was, but he was protecting me.

The largest one, who I recognized as Sam, growled and turned, walking away. The others filled in his spot. I was still concerned by the four others itching to kill us to pay much attention to anything else. Even the now crowded other side of the river.

A moment later, I watched as Sam came back, now human.

"Explain yourselves." He demanded over at Carlisle, "Normally, I wouldn't allow this at all, but since one is a child, that makes it difficult to destroy them."

"They're new." Carlisle explained, "They were never taught the boundaries, and were only on their way home. I understand your concern, but I assure you, they weren't hunting."

"We were just trying to get back." Mikah added, gaining Sam's attention, "And your, uh.. Friends here scared her."

I was still terrified, despite the fact that we were still alive. I couldn't even open my eyes at this point. Both hands clinging to Mikah's shirt, and I was cemented to his side.

"You." Sam barked and I knew it was at me, "Is all this true?" I couldn't speak, but I nodded.

"We weren't trying to hurt anybody." Mikah went on, "We just want to get home."

"Why is this one a child?" Sam demanded, "Isn't she a little young to be like you?"

"We don't know." Emmett answered, "She never told us, but we weren't going to abandon her just because of her age." Damn, he was good at making up stories on the spot.

"And this other one?" Sam asked, "What about him? Are you out there, just collecting more?"

"She found me." Mikah answered that one, "And I promised her I would always protect her, so I'm not going anywhere without her." Meaning, he followed me.

"I see that." Sam snapped in return. He paused for a second, "Her age disturbs me. Is that what your kind does now?"

"It isn't common, no." Carlisle replied respectfully, "She is the first her age I've seen in a very long time."

"If I let them go," Sam muttered after a moment, "I want your word, Carlisle, that this won't happen again. Next time, I won't hesitate to rip them apart. Am I clear?"

"You have my word, Sam." He replied instantly, "It will not happen again."

After a few seconds, I felt Mikah turn around. Leading me toward the river. He scooped me up off my feet when I still couldn't move, and jumped us across. As soon as we landed, though, I opened my eyes.

I finally breathed the second my feet were on the ground, looking back across the river. Esme, suddenly beside us, doing the same.

"Thank you." I whimpered honestly.

"Do not come back." Sam stressed a warning now. I heard him loud and clear. Wordlessly, I pursed my lips and shook my head. I would avoid them at all costs, and I knew that was their goal. They really didn't want to be messed with.

I couldn't exactly blame him. I should have known better, and he didn't have to let us go. Mikah and I were both herded back home this time, safely on our side of the line, away from the big furry beasts that wanted to kill me. I never once had been on the receiving end like that. I'd been growled at by them on several occasions in the visions, but I never had to worry that they'd actually kill me. That was flat out terrifying, and I was a bit shaken.

"Dammit, shorty." Emmett was relieved, but still stern as he ran along beside me, "You're lucky I was out here looking for you two and I heard the dogs going apeshit."

"I didn't know." I defended myself, "You never let me out this way."

"That's why." He replied incredulously, "Tell me you weren't actually hunting over there-"

"No." I snapped, slightly outraged.

"No," Mikah answered as well, "We went a little too far south before turning east. By the time we realized we needed to turn around, that wasn't an option anymore. They're quick. It was almost like they didn't want us to find the way out."

"They didn't." Jasper replied from the back, "They're not usually kind enough to give you a chance."

"I'm never going that way again." I vowed, a shudder shaking me briefly, "I've never been that scared yet." Even with Jack.

"Happy first day of being a newborn!" Emmett laughed at Mikah, "Here, have some killer wolves." To my surprise, Mikah actually laughed as well.

He was adjusting to this a lot easier than I'd ever hoped, but when I really thought about it, that wasn't so weird. I'd always met him when he'd only had months into this life. I hadn't imagined he'd been that well adjusted from the start, though. I just thought Cole was that good of a teacher.

Out of the blue, without even meaning to, I stopped. Jasper had to jump over me, to keep from running straight into me, Esme stepping around. I was just as surprised at my actions as everyone else was as they turned to look back at me, and Mikah still attached to me at the hand.

"Shorty." Emmett complained lightly, "Detours don't work when none of us are aware of them."

"I.." I mumbled, shaking my head. I didn't understand why I would do that, looking up at Mikah's confused gaze on me. I was so suddenly terrified, and I didn't even know why.

"What's wrong?" Carlisle asked me, probably concerned by the look in my eyes. I tried to keep moving forward, but I couldn't. In fact, I pulled Mikah back with me a step.

"I don't know." I admitted, "I can't go that way."

"What do you mean you can't?" Alice asked, frowning in concern as well. I suddenly felt cornered.

"Something's wrong." I mumbled, looking at her now. She went silent as she looked down. I knew what she was doing, so I didn't really want to ask her. She was seeing if there was anything she'd missed. I knew better than anyone that missing something was a possibility.

After a rather tense few minutes, she looked immediately over at Carlisle, despite Jasper being directly beside her.

"She's right." She murmured, "Carlisle, we have a big problem." I knew that tone anywhere, and I instantly caught on to what she was so hesitant to say.

"Aro." I whimpered, and she looked over at me.

"Himself." She confirmed.

"Why?" Esme asked quietly.

"That's not really clear." Alice admitted, "I just know he decided to come here."

I frowned, really thinking about it. Why would Aro decide to come here?

"Who is Aro?" Mikah asked, frowning as well, "I'm assuming someone bad."

"He's already there." I mumbled, "Carlisle, he can't know about me."

"Okay." Mikah mumbled, accepting that he wouldn't be answered right then. We were a little distracted.

"This is what I was worried about." Rose threw in there, her voice dripping with attitude, "Just in case anybody cares." I couldn't really blame her.

"You can get into trouble for me being around." I said, "Would it be better or worse if I ran away?"

"Worse." Carlisle answered in thought, "You're our responsibility. If you were to run, that could be seen as extreme negligence."

"True." I muttered, "But.. If he finds out about me, he'll find out about all the other kids. He'll hunt them down next. If he's here, he's here for a reason, and he's not gonna leave without the full story." I took a breath.

Once again, the 'sacrifice myself' option crept dangerously through my thoughts. Maybe I could get them all spared if Aro knew how useful to him I could be, but I hadn't tested my ability like this yet. I clearly still had something, otherwise I wouldn't have stopped, but I couldn't control it. Last time, I was able to control it because I knew how it worked, but I was also older then. Physically, I would always be a scrawny nine years old.

"Is he alone?" I asked, looking over at Alice.

"No." She answered, "Naturally. Jane goes with him everywhere."

"Shit." I whimpered, turning away. Where there was Jane, there was Alec.

"We can't put it off." Emmett grumbled, "It'll be worse if he has to come looking."

"Leandra," Carlisle murmured, and I looked over, "Please refresh my memory." My connection to him.

"I don't know if it'll still work the same way now," I started, "But before, I was the second half to his gift. By taking my hand, my gift becomes his. With me, there's nothing he can't see. There's no way he would leave me here if he knew I could do that for him, but I _can't_ go back to being a tool. I can't go back to being something for him to use whenever he wants to slaughter someone."

"Ouch." Mikah winced beside me, looking to Carlisle as well. He had no clue what was going on, but he'd definitely heard that part.

"I will if I have to, though." I whimpered, "If it still works the same way, I'll use that to make him leave you guys alone."

"Not again." Emmett groaned.

"I won't sit there and watch him kill you." I snapped, "If I'm the thing he wants, then he'll get me. Without a fight."

"Why don't we just go see what he wants?" Mikah murmured, "Before we get mad at each other."

"Mikah's right." Carlisle sighed, "We don't know why he's here. There's no use in getting upset before we know everything."

It was decided then that Mikah and I would hang back, and hopefully Carlisle could talk to him instead of Aro having to resort to taking his hand.

I smelled them before we even got close, so I stopped in the trees while the rest went on ahead. I hated leaving them to face Aro alone, but it was the best way.

"Well, this has been an interesting day." Mikah whispered, and I looked over at him.

"None of this is normal." I replied in my own whisper, "Things just keep going wrong."

"Who is Aro?"

"Someone to worry about." I mumbled, "A lot." That was all the answer I could give right then, reaching over and taking his hand. I was so scared, but I knew holding his hand would make me feel better.

We silently drew closer to the edge of the trees separating us from the yard. I couldn't make myself get much closer than that.

I clearly heard as Aro first noticed my family's arrival up ahead of us.

"Carlisle." Aro greeted warmly, but I cringed, "How wonderful to see you."

"Aro." Carlisle greeted in return, "I wish I could say the same, but I'm afraid we're a bit apprehensive."

"I understand." Aro chuckled, "I'm afraid I've just a few questions for you, but I'll get right to it." He paused, so I assumed Carlisle agreed. He spoke again, and I listened to his slow, pacing footsteps, "It seems a certain video has been making the rounds on this.. Internet. I was wondering if you knew anything about it."

"What video?" Carlisle asked, and I heard the frown in his voice, but I knew immediately what he was talking about. It clicked and I knew exactly what he was referring to.

The security camera footage of Jack. From the day he hunted in that alley. I never erased it, and I knew it had to have caught something.

I immediately face-palmed, and Mikah looked down at me.

"It seems someone in this general area thought it was a safe place to feed, not knowing there was a camera pointed right at them. Capturing their every move." Aro explained lightly, "A rather unfortunate mistake, but one I must insist on investigating thoroughly. Considering it happened so close to where you reside, I thought I'd visit you first."

"I'm afraid I don't know anything about that." Carlisle replied honestly.

"Would you mind if I confirm that?" Aro asked, "Not that I don't trust you, Carlisle, but I must be certain. You understand."

There was a tense silence before Carlisle sighed, "Of course not."

His footsteps forward tensed me with each step, and I edged closer to the house. Before he'd even reached him, though, I jumped as both Mikah and I were gathered up by our shirts and forced forward.

I glanced back in panic to see Demetri shoving Mikah, so I knew who it was that had me. I whimpered as I stumbled slightly out into the open. Out of the trees, and right into the far side of the yard. Felix right on my heels, shoving again before I could even right myself. I growled, looking back at him, so he forced me forward again and literally picked me up by the back of my shirt.

He held me up there off my feet, and as tight as my shirt was on me, I just hated being held without my feet on the ground. Felix's giant fist balled in the fabric made sure I stayed.

"Oh?" Aro seemed particularly interested, "Who do we have here?"

"Looks like a kid." Felix answered him, holding me higher, "And.. Some random newborn."

"Do these belong to you, Carlisle?" Aro asked, looking at him, "You turned them?" I almost answered for him with a lie, when he answered first.

"Yes." He replied, and I held my breath.

"He turned me." I trembled lightly, "But not him." I glanced over at Mikah, who glanced at me at the same time. He didn't seem bothered, not resisting in the slightest, and I knew that eased Demetri behind him.

"I admire your honesty, my friend." Aro nodded, slowly starting toward us. Instinct made me growl at his approach, glaring at him. I hated this man so much and I couldn't help it. Aro's small smirk told me he wasn't afraid in the slightest. As long as he stayed out of reach of me, he was pretty safe. Felix lowered me just enough to be eye level with Aro, and though I hated it, I met his eyes only briefly, looking away after that. A sure, solid sign that I was deeply intimidated. The same sign that Mikah had seen just the night before.

"Hello, my dear." Aro greeted me first, only glancing over at Mikah.

"Leave them alone." I mumbled, "They didn't do anything wrong."

"Normally," He replied, "I would be inclined to agree with you, but I've yet to decide that." I didn't know what to say to that, but he went on, "However, you seem fairly well disciplined." He studied me a bit as if I were an interesting book.

"They've done everything they could to teach me." I answered honestly, "Don't hurt them. Please."

"I assure you I'm not here to hurt anyone." He replied gently, "I haven't been given a reason."

"But I'm a kid." I argued, "Isn't it wrong?"

"Of course it is wrong." He said, "But generally speaking, the rule you're referring to applies to those too young to learn. You've clearly managed to learn a few things."

"I knew it." Emmett barked, "See? It's fine."

"I only mean it's a bit cruel to do this to a child." Aro turned a little, looking back at Carlisle.

"He didn't have a choice." I took his attention again, "He just didn't wanna let me die."

"I see." He seemed to understand. He looked up at Felix, and just that look was enough to let me to my feet. I dropped, landing easily and fixing my shirt.

"I know about the video you were talking about." I admitted quietly, "That wasn't their fault either."

"Care to explain?" He suggested and I sighed.

"That was Jack." I mumbled, "I tried to tell him to be more careful, but he didn't care."

"Who is Jack?" Aro asked and I hesitated.

"He's gone now." I said instead of answering his question, "You don't have to worry about him anymore."

"You're certain?" He asked, and I tensed as he offered his hand. It was silent across the yard where my family stood as I studied his offered hand, hesitating.

"I'm sure." I replied, slowly hiding my hands behind my back, "I took care of him myself."

"You hesitate." He noted, "May I ask why?"

"I'm scared." I admitted, but I wasn't running away. Though I knew I could get away, I wouldn't leave them hanging like that.

"I assure you." He smiled, "I will not hurt you." I looked passed him at Carlisle standing there. At any moment, Aro could decide to have a problem with me existing. Or he could grow suspicious of the fact that I wouldn't willingly let him have my thoughts, as if I were hiding something.

"It's okay, shorty." Emmett offered from the side, no doubt gaining points as Aro smiled again.

Nervously, I slowly took a step closer and brought my hands out from behind my back. If I remembered right, it would take both his hands to make me see. Just one, I was fine, but I saw it going wrong as he carefully cupped his hand under mine and brought his other one over it.

Unfortunately, it still worked that way. My gift was part of me, so that wouldn't change.

I saw it as well as he saw it that with this new situation, everyone here would be fine, but unfortunately for me, I'd gone into this knowing I would have no choice but to go with him. That decision was final on my part, and Aro now knew that as well. He now knew he had to tread carefully if he was going to make that happen, despite the fact that I was set on it.

I looked up at him, and he looked down at me. Once the vision itself was over, fading like mist to the back of my mind, he followed along with every thought I'd ever had, knowing exactly the memories I had of him, and now understanding exactly why I was so afraid of him. It was a lot to give him all at once, and he also realized this.

It overwhelmed him, and I knew he couldn't hold on as long as he wanted to as he released my hand. He now knew exactly how far I was willing to go to keep my family safe. There was nothing I wouldn't do. He saw, more than Edward had ever seen, what made me so determined. My devotion and the reason behind it.

He didn't speak at first, stepping back with a nod.

"Can I, um.." Mikah muttered, and surprisingly, Aro gestured for him to be released as well. Demetri let him go, and I could almost see the thoughts through Aro's mind. He knew full well what he'd just found, and unlike last time, I was already turned so there was no reason to leave me behind.

"Shorty?" Emmett wanted an update.

"Yeah." I mumbled in answer, and he looked down. It still worked.

"Well." Aro finally spoke, "This routine visit just got a whole lot more fascinating."

 **A/N: Well, that didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. Sh*t.  
I apologize for this taking so long, guys. I barely survived Thanksgiving, but I lived.  
THANK YOU! To my two AMAZING reviewers! THANK YOU! But as for the rest of you.. Come on, guys! Be part of the review club! We have t-shirts!  
Now, as I mentioned before, this chapter didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, so chapter twelve may take some time. I'll do my best, though!  
Until twelve, my friends! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

I didn't have many options.

Standing there, looking at my family standing across the yard from me, I could see the worry across their features. I already knew the inevitable had started. Aro now knew what I was to him. I wasn't skilled enough to control it yet, but I didn't need to be. He would figure it out quickly, if he hadn't yet.

Somehow, though, the thought of leaving with him really stabbed at me. It wasn't like I had much of a choice, and Aro had seen that too. It honestly didn't matter how I felt about it.

My gaze moved to Jane next. She stood there, stiff as ever, ready for the split second her gift was needed, and I really didn't want anyone to get hurt because of me. I remembered exactly how that felt, and I was sure they were fully aware as well.

Aro continued to pace in thought, but I could almost see when he'd made up his mind. He would go with the path my vision had laid out for him. He turned a little, looking back at me, but I looked down.

"I'm confident we can reach some form of an agreement." He told me.

"You know what I want." I mumbled, despite crumbling inside.

"Uh.." Emmett muttered, "Shorty, I don't think you know-"

"I know." I shut him up, "Better than you. My gift goes both ways. He can use mine, but I see the decisions he makes right along with him. He knows what I want, and I know what he wants. I guess.. I mean, I can't really blame him.." I trailed off, falling quiet.

I couldn't keep going with that, my emotion flaring in a painful way. I didn't find any of this fair, but then again, how much of my life so far had been fair? I was pretty used to these turns of events, and I'd never really had a chance yet to believe things would be okay, but just for once, I wanted my own way.

"The conditions are set, my dear." Aro assured me anyway, his voice a small chuckle, "I mean your family no harm. Although, I do wish I had known about you sooner." Obviously.

"Just promise me." I whimpered, "Be honest."

"Always." He assured me again, but this time, he was more believable. He had no reason to double-cross me this time, and yeah it was true he had no intentions of doing so right then, but I needed to know I wouldn't have a reason to regret this later.

I already regretted it, and just like that, I was cornered again.

"Leandra." Carlisle was flat against this, and I could hear that in his voice. I had to do something about that. It was only too easy to figure out a way to do that. Everyone else would have their issues with this, but it was them I had the closest bond with, and they mattered the most to me. I needed to make them see. It was the only way I could possibly ever go through with this.

"Can I just ask for one thing?" I murmured, and Aro looked down at me.

"Anything." He replied, "Please feel free."

"Can I hunt one more time?" I asked, "The way.. The way my family hunts? I know you won't let me do it again after we leave, but.."

"Of course." He seemed confused, but he was going to allow it. He and I both knew that would change _immediately_ the second I became fully his property, but it wasn't about the diet at that point. It was about holding onto what I'd be losing for just a moment longer.

"Can I take Carlisle with me?" I asked hesitantly, "And Esme?"

He seemed a bit more hesitant, but eventually sighed, "I suppose that would be acceptable." I wasn't asking for much. Especially considering what I had silently promised him just moments before. I was asking for patience.

"Thank you." I mumbled, and they both seemed only too willing to go. I glanced over at the others as Carlisle and Esme both arrived at my side. They were confused, but I could also see the slight spark of hope there. They were hoping I had some sort of plan, but really, I just wanted one last hunt with them. I didn't have a plan.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that I just wanted time alone with them. To explain to them what had just happened. I led the way out into the trees, right to the spot I usually went to hunt. I meant to take them out here to break that bond, but I had a feeling as we stood there in the silence that this wouldn't work the way I needed it to.

Seeing all these things through Aro, I had been reminded forcefully of what they always meant to me. Of course I'd always known, but it had always been drowned out by everything else. Now it was what I focused on most as we stood there, miles away from anyone else. I had to trust that the family would be okay while we were gone.

"I don't have a plan." I admitted quietly, "I just wanted.. I needed you to know that no matter what, I'll never forget all you've done for me. Since I probably won't get another chance to tell you."

I took a breath in their saddened silence.

"The reason why I did everything I did," I muttered, "Is because of Carlisle. Everyone else had their part too, but.. The very first vision I ever had, the one that started all of this, it was of that field trip. The one where I first met Alice and Edward too. The one I didn't remember the second time around..

"So much changed when I woke up from that one, but the first one I had, Carlisle was the first one I ever trusted. It's hard, but I don't think anyone really knows what that means to someone like me. It means.. Everything.. After Jack raised me the way he did. When Carlisle found me, it was such a huge change, I didn't know how I could ever repay him for the things he did for me.

"I woke up, and I changed all that." I went on quietly, "Everything changed when I decided not to get in that fight. I just didn't know that's what I was doing at the time. That time, it actually took a little bit of work to bring me around, because I kind of had an idea about how Jack was going to be. I went home instead of to the hospital like before."

I looked over at Carlisle, instead of the ground, "I didn't get a chance to get back that trust in the same way as I had before, but that didn't stop you from coming to get me when I really needed you to. I didn't know it then, but that meant.. Maybe even more to me than when you helped me in the first vision. In both of those visions, you both raised me to be the best person I could ever be. I had my problems, a _lot_ of them, but you never stopped trying. Everyone sort of raised me, but you both gave me something I've never, ever had before.

"I guess what I mean is.." I sighed, "The way.. The way you don't even really _know_ why I do the things I do to protect you is why I do them. You don't expect anything from me, and I know it's hard for either of you to.. Really get it, but I do them because I remember from all the time I spent with you what kind of people you are. None of you deserved to have that kind of pain and fear in your lives, and it killed me to know that by helping me, you guys had to suffer, but you chose to suffer if it meant keeping me as safe as you ever could.

"No matter what it took, you protected me." I looked down now, the sadness keeping my eyes on the ground, "You cared about me when I couldn't even care about myself. Whatever I was when I came to you, you guys rebuilt and made me into someone I never had a chance to be without you. Even when it would have been way easier, you never even once thought about your own safety. Just mine."

I had to pause this time.

"When I woke up again.." I muttered, continuing on, "On your couch this time.. I remembered everything from the last two visions. The vision I had before I woke up helped me remember everything I needed to remember, so when I remembered everything, I knew I had to fix it. The only way I knew how to do that was to fix what I had done by letting Alice bring me back that night. That was where everything went wrong.

"So I went back home with those cops, because I knew that's what I needed to do. I knew I wouldn't make it back before I even went to California, but I went anyway because I knew that you would have done the same for me. I learned how to be selfless by watching both of you. I learned what it means to give everything I have for the ones I loved. The same ones I grew up loving. I knew if I had let you help me, it would have been the most selfish thing I could ever do because that would have brought Jack down on you. I couldn't let that happen. Not again.

"Really.." I mumbled quieter, "I never thought in a million years you would ever change me, because I was so young. I didn't know what it meant to really die before, and I still don't remember really what it was like, but I know that you took a huge risk doing what you did, and that's why I did everything I could now to keep you from the mess I made of Jack this time. You never blamed me for losing control the way I did, and even though you tried to fix it, I couldn't let you take the fall for what I'd done, so.."

"We understand, sweetheart." Esme finally murmured sadly,

"No matter where I go, what I do, or how long I live," I whimpered, unable to keep the emotion from my voice, "I'll always remember how to be strong, because you taught me. I'll remember how to be smart, and how to be kind. You taught me how to love, and how to reach for the things I want. You taught me how to be brave, and how to stand up for the ones I love. Especially when they can't on their own. You taught me that even though I'm small, I can be strong in my own way. I don't need to be big to be strong. You taught me that. You gave me a reason to learn, and to grow and be strong.

"I'll never forget that. You don't remember it, because you didn't live it the way I did, but I'll always remember everything you ever taught me, and no matter where I end up and even if I never see you again, I'll always think of you as my mom and dad."

I watched as Esme couldn't help walking forward, and I accepted her fierce hug with one of my own. I knew, even before she smoothed my hair behind my head, that leaving them would kill me. I _hated_ the thought. It caused me almost physical pain to know that I'd fought so hard, so long to get back to them, only to be scooped up by Aro.

I'd fought along with her. I'd fought for her when she was in so much danger. She didn't know it then, but I'd learned how to fight like that from her. I never could have done that if she'd never taught me to fight with all the love in my heart. Everything I knew about strength and bravery and _love_ , I'd learned from them. From her, and from Carlisle. They gave me something irreplaceable.

"I'm not done repaying you." I whimpered, closing my eyes, "You taught me how to be brave, but I _don't_ want to go." She smoothed my hair again, her hand holding the back of my head the way a mother would comfort a child.

This was the first time I could remember showing how vulnerable I really felt. I'd been defensive before, and I'd been scared, but never vulnerable like this. I might have physically been a kid, but I'd never allowed myself to feel this scared. This helpless. It was hard not to feel helpless when it came to Aro, but this was different.

Esme's hugs always comforted me. They always had, but this was different. Telling them about all I remembered of them opened a brand new part of my mind that accepted this hug as a reminder of why I needed to do this. It reminded me of all the times she held me, comforted me after a nightmare or when life just got to be too hard. She always held me, kept me safe, shielded me when I couldn't pretend to be okay anymore.

Now was no different. It was what I needed after the last several months worth of cruelty and abuse I'd endured, and though I knew I would have endured it as long as I had to to keep them safe, it took its toll. It wore on me like pounds and pounds of extra weight, dragging me down, but when I stood here, hugging her, it felt like she was helping me carry that weight. Just like she always did, and now that I had that again, I didn't want to let that go.

This was why I was so desperate not to let this show. This was why I couldn't let myself accept this, but now that I was accepting it, I held on for dear life.

I looked over as she turned us both to look at Carlisle, unwilling to let go even a little bit. I looked at him now like I used to. I finally allowed that part of my mind look to him for answers where there weren't any. I nearly did so when Mikah was missing, but this was different. This time, I was silently asking him to help me, and though I had a feeling I was screwing up, I couldn't help it. He responded to that, that hopeless part in me. That lost and fearful part in me.

I saw that he could see the difference now, and that brought him forward as well. He hugged us both with a heavy sigh, and I knew he was at a loss as well. I whimpered again, but I couldn't say anything more.

"There has to be something we can do." Esme murmured, "I can't." I knew what she was saying, but I couldn't refuse. I knew what she meant.

"We'll think of something." He assured us, but all three of us knew there really wasn't much we could do.

I actually lost track of how long we stood there like that, but with every passing second, I felt more and more desperate not to let go. I couldn't leave this now. This shelter and comfort of both of them woke the part of me I thought was lost forever. The part that needed this, and though I was nearly indestructable now, I still needed this. Esme was right, that first night. I still needed this comfort and guidance.

I'd been going on for so long, struggling to convince myself of that invincibility, but I wasn't wired that way anymore. It felt too right to stop fighting that. Not even at our best moments after I woke up to this life did I ever feel like this. I'd been so scared for so long, and now that I could let go of that, I didn't want to gather myself back up.

Now that this vulnerable side was out and open, I wasn't strong enough to beat it back. Once it reached the light of day, it gripped onto me and wouldn't let go.

It had to have been hours that we stood there like that, and as I opened my eyes to see that it was actually starting to get dark, I dreaded the moment that we'd have to get back. We were out of time, though, as we heard someone approaching. I didn't look. I knew by his scent who it was. When we weren't back at a reasonable time, Aro had come looking for us. Dragging absolutely everyone with him.

Instead of immediately letting go of Esme, though, I held on tighter.

Aro wouldn't let me go that easily. I'd already promised to go with him, and I knew once that happened, I couldn't back out. I finally opened my eyes to see the way the rest of my family had come to stand around us. Even Mikah could see that the way we stood was something that had never happened before.

"As much as I hate to.. Dismantle such a heartwarming sight," Aro spoke carefully, "I must insist."

"Aro," Carlisle spoke quietly, "I beg you. Don't take her. Hasn't she been through enough?"

"I assure you." Aro replied, "She will be well taken care of with me."

That wasn't the point. The pressure on me increased. It was fighting with myself. Shoving as hard as I could against something in me, between knowing I absolutely _had_ to let go, and not allowing myself to.

I closed my eyes, the struggle nearly physically hurting me. If Esme minded how tight I held onto her, she never let on. She just held me tighter as well. As if more pressure would help, and in a way it really did, but it also made it that much harder to do what I knew needed to be done.

I had yet to pull away from Esme to look at him, and I knew Aro knew this. He'd seen everything I had to give. He'd seen how hard I'd tried just to get to this point. He'd seen everything my human life entailed.

"Leandra." Aro spoke gently, "You have my word-"

"I don't want to go." I gasped out, a tearing pain in my chest over where my heart no longer beat. A burn, a memory of all the times my heart had broken.

To my surprise, a sob tore free, and I jumped a little at feeling a drop of liquid hit my cheek. I opened my eyes and the feeling was unmistakable. I was actually crying. I blinked, and another fell, but I wasn't going to question it.

I'd spent so long wishing I could cry, I accepted it gratefully, and I felt enough sadness that I couldn't even be surprised. It just made sense. It was only a drop, two drops, but it was enough.

"Shorty?" Emmett asked, clearly worried. He was the first one to look at my face. He noticed it, so I knew it wasn't all in my head. I didn't offer any sort of explanation as I looked up at him. I didn't have one. I reached up, wiping the tear away. A quick glance told me it was a clear liquid that had fallen lightly.

"Are you _crying_?" Emmett asked, which made everyone else look at me instantly. I sobbed and nodded. Esme only pulled away enough to look down at me before hugging me again.

"That's impossible." Aro murmured, leaning closer for a look. He was extremely amazed, and I knew why. I was too. Hell, I didn't know it was possible either, but a third tear fell free.

"No it's not."

I actually was surprised enough to pull away and look over at Shannon's voice nearing from behind the group of my family standing there. She suddenly arrived, and the others parted to look at her.

Jane, however, grew a bit nervous at her arrival, watching her close. I couldn't really blame her, as Shannon tended to just pop up out of nowhere, thanks to the ones always around her.

"You came back?" I asked, unable to keep my voice steady. Didn't she know how dangerous this was? She should be as far away from here as possible, but then again, she was always there, defending me.

"Who is this?" Aro asked, surprised. She didn't answer him right away, offering me a hug. I returned it for a moment before I had to let her go.

"I'm sorry for surprising you." She told him, allowing me to hug Esme again, "My name is Shannon."

"And you know this child?" Aro asked in deep interest.

"Yes." She answered, only slightly afraid, "I know them all."

"There are more children." He recalled from my memories, and she nodded.

"They're hiding." She informed him, "Just in case. I don't know where, but I'll find them when I can. I'm one of the ones taking care of them. I keep them hidden and out of trouble. I heard you were here, and I knew there would be trouble, so I had to come. For Leandra."

"I'm listening." He replied politely. I admired her bravery too.

"There are things about these kids that you don't know." She went on, "They aren't like you. Or even me. The ones like Leandra, who haven't even begun to mature yet. There's a line they never got to cross, and that line makes them different than us. They don't see things the way you do, and they don't feel things the way you do."

He sighed, "I am quite aware-"

"Sir," She softened her voice, "Please don't take her from her family. I know that she must mean a lot to you, but.. She's fought so hard to stay here.."

"Can we go back to the crying part?" Emmett asked, "That's still messing me up."

"They aren't tears." Shannon explained, looking back at him, "Not like a human's. I've only ever seen it once. I didn't really understand it then, but now I think I do. It takes a _lot_ of emotion to make them do this. More than usual. It means that whatever you're here to do is hurting her. A lot. She is in enough pain to _cry_."

"I agree." Jasper spoke up, but didn't offer much else.

With a deeply thoughtful nod, Aro turned away, slowly pacing a few steps. He had to rethink his approach.

"Shannon." The entire group turned, looking back at a familiar voice. Shane had come looking for her. He quickly took in the scene in front of him, and though I could see his tension, he gestured her toward him.

"Who is this?" Aro asked, and for the first time, I sensed his impatience.

"A friend." Carlisle answered as Shannon crossed the clearing to find his side. He stepped away far enough to talk to her silently. I watched them, just barely being able to hear them, and despite Shannon being visibly upset, she explained what was going on.

"Leandra." Aro sighed, "I apologize. I'm afraid I must hurry this along. I've already been away far longer than I should." He was worried I was about to change my mind, which wasn't so hard to believe.

As much as I knew I needed to go, to keep them safe, I couldn't unlock my arms. The more I tried, the harder it became.

"This is so hard." I admitted in a whimper, closing my eyes.

"I understand." He replied, "However, it's for a good cause." He was right, but I couldn't. I physically couldn't.

"Why is this so important to you?" I looked over, surprised at Mikah's question, "The gift she was born with doesn't make her yours."

"I'm not claiming her as mine." Aro chuckled in reply.

Our attention was taken, thankfully, by Shane suddenly striding over.

"You can't take her." Shane, surprisingly, came to stand in front of us. Shannon right by his side. I selfishly took comfort in that. I had a minute left to hold on.

"Really." Shannon murmured, "We have to insist on this, Aro. Do not take her."

"What is concerning you so?" He asked, chuckling again as if he doubted everything they were saying.

"You know the myths." She said, "You know how hard the creators grow attached, right?"

"Correct." He replied, prompting her to continue, but he was clearly not appreciating the reminder of the history of immortal kids.

"All you've heard are stories. I work with these kids, when you've just killed them, without giving them a chance." Shane obviously knew more about him than I thought. It wasn't so hard to believe that. I was sure every vampire in the world knew about the "plague" of many years ago.

"A bond like that is only built if it's reciprocated." Shannon explained, "It's fed off of each other. The stronger she feels about them, the harder they'll fight for her, but.."

Shane sighed, "It's not the creators you have to worry about. I've seen what these kids can do when they're pushed too far."

Emmett chuckled as well, "What do you mean? I can pin her with one hand."

"Remember what I told you about covering her head?" Shannon asked, looking over at him, "Well, there are a few more little quirks like that that you all need to be aware of."

"The whole crying thing.. That's step one." Shane added quietly, "That's a sign you need to back off. They have natural defenses, more than just being faster, that more than make up for how small they are, and crying is a sign they're reaching that natural defense. I never mentioned this before because I wanted you to learn more about her from _her_ , and I never thought it would be an issue, but I have to say something now."

"And you seem to think she's a danger?" Aro asked, curious.

"She is." Shane replied without hesitation, "The harder you push her, the more she'll fight to stay. The harder she has to fight, perceiving a threat, the more they'll want to fight for her. The more they want to fight for her, the more protective she gets, and it'll just keep feeding itself until there's no hope left."

"The result?" Aro asked.

"The result?" He asked, "Is you dead. Them?" He gestured to the rest of his guard, "Dead. Your gift, their gifts.. They won't work on her when she snaps. She would be functioning only on a basic level. Nothing but instinct, nothing left of her to manipulate or block."

"Interesting." Was Aro's flat reply.

"If she's pushed that far, there is no coming back from it." Shannon was pleading now, "You wouldn't get her back. Nobody would. Those doors would be closed and locked forever. There would be only one way to stop her, and I know nobody wants that."

Shane sighed again, "But.. It takes reaching the deepest, most hidden depths of her mind to pull out that potential. That means making her feel cornered, and tearing her away from or hurting the people she cares about, and right now, her strongest bond is with the two of them." He glanced over at Esme and Carlisle standing with me.

That certainly explained why Shannon always allowed me to come back home. I was never forced to stay with the other kids. It was always my choice whether I wanted to stay or not. She must not have felt comfortable enough insisting or explaining on her own.

"These kids are ticking, and they need to be treated with the highest degree of care." Shane stressed, "They all have their own tolerance level, and given everything she's already been through to stay with this family, taking her away would be suicide. Trust me. I've seen it. You don't want to see it."

"Please." Aro muttered tensely, offering his hand. Without hesitation, Shane stepped forward. He was more than happy to show him everything he knew.

"I don't wanna hurt anyone.." I whimpered during that exchange, now pretty worried. I didn't want them to take me out anyway because of the threat I obviously posed. I knew Jane was thinking about it, so she couldn't have been the only one. In response, I held tighter to Esme's side.

"You won't." Esme assured me, but I heard her doubt. This new revelation was concerning. This could change everything about what Aro decided, and with a glance over, I could tell it was on its way to doing so.

"Master." Jane murmured as soon as Shane stepped back, "She's obviously a danger." She'd just confirmed my worry. Nervously, I looked over at Shane now standing with Shannon again.

"They've created a monster." Demetri added with his own little smirk.

"Hey, wait." Shannon frowned, "That's not true."

"I'm afraid it's far worse than I realized." Aro sighed, shutting them both up. Neither Shane or Shannon realized that by doing this, they were doing the opposite of helping. By giving Aro all the information they had, I worried that they had essentially just doomed me.

"How?" Mikah asked, concerned. He sensed how serious things had just gotten. He stepped to my side, "You're wrong. Check again. She is _not_ dangerous."

I jumped as Mikah suddenly dropped to his knees. To my surprise, I didn't waste a second. I knew immediately what was happening. I stepped away from Esme's side, stepping in front of him, forcing Jane to look at me instead. Breaking her concentration on him in defense, but I dropped to my knees instead.

The crushing weight of the pain she inflicted was far too heavy for me to hold, but I didn't cry. My next breath a cough, but that was the only sound I made. Clenching my teeth tightly, fighting the urge to curl up, but I would take it. Nobody would hurt him or anyone else I loved while I was still fighting.

I felt Mikah reach my side, but I couldn't focus on him. I wasn't lost yet. I could still feel this pain. I could still be controlled, and it was extremely effective.

"Jane."

"Your safety, master." She replied, but the pain continued. Increased until I fell to the side. Folded under that weight, I couldn't focus on what they were saying. It was just noise.

I did focus on Jane's growl a second later, though, as I felt her efforts on me stop. I took a sharp, hissing breath in as I opened my eyes, only to look up at Carlisle standing in front of me now. Esme beside him, creating almost a wall between Jane and me.

That, she no doubt saw as a bigger threat, but if either of them were in pain, neither of them showed it.

I'd only felt the pain for a few intense seconds, but the pain lingered, echoing in my mind for a moment after it stopped. It was silent, despite feeling the rest of my family's outrage behind me. I took deep breaths, holding them for a second before letting them out in a soft whimper. I looked over at Mikah's concern, but no matter how bad I wanted to, I couldn't comfort him.

I pushed myself up to my knees, unclenching my stiff fingers from their fists and appreciating Mikah's supportive hand on my shoulder. Against his side like this, I felt the almost silent growl he gave.

Oddly enough, I began to understand a little more about Mikah. Everything Shannon and Shane had just told us, in a way, applied to him as well. It also described the normal bond built to a newborn and their creator, and in a sense, I'd taken that role. I was the one offering to teach Mikah everything I knew, so he was choosing to follow me.

Placing that new realization on hold for a moment, I shook my head a little.

I looked back at my family. Shannon actually stood behind Shane, both unsure. They'd never seen this happen before, so they didn't know what I'd just done.

I doubted it was anything she approved of, but Rosalie kneeled to my other side. Emmett directly behind her, probably just in case. They all moved closer to us, but not far enough ahead to become a threat. Creating a sort of protective little pocket for me and Mikah beside me. It didn't take me long to figure it out.

Because Carlisle was protecting me, the rest of my family were set on protecting both of us. It wasn't a choice, but an instinct. That could have turned out a lot worse than it did.

Beside me, Mikah helped me to my feet. The pain was still echoing, but I could stand. Rosalie stood as I did, but she wasn't looking at me. Though the tension of the moment was easing, nobody relaxed. Least of all me. I didn't really like that they had put themselves in harm's way, just for me. That bothered me on a very deep level, and it was something I'd fought against from day one, but I wasn't exactly in any shape to stop them at the time.

"I would appreciate it, Aro, if that didn't happen again." Carlisle spoke tensely, and I even had a hard time detecting the slight, angry waver in his voice.

"He questioned him." Jane spoke instead, "The newborn deserved what he got."

With a sigh, and I tensed. After what had just happened, to say my trust was shaken would be an understatement.

"Carlisle.." Aro sounded oddly apologetic, "My old friend.. I must admit I am concerned. What I've been shown has proven the child is unstable. A threat."

"She's not a threat." Esme replied instead, "She's been learning."

"She requires very specific training." Aro explained lightly, "Training you're not capable of providing, I'm afraid."

"And let me guess.." Rose actually spoke up, "You are?"

"I have acquired the knowledge I need, yes." Aro replied, but I growled under my breath as I heard the smirk hidden in his voice. He went on, "I cannot comfortably leave her here. She can easily become a threat to our safety. I'm terribly sorry, but despite what I said before, the rule must stand in this case."

I'd heard this voice before in the visions I'd had of him. Many times. He was attempting to be manipulative, cornering everyone here into giving up what he wanted.

"If you release her willingly, no harm will befall you or your coven." Aro went on, "But if you choose to fight for her, I'm afraid you will not be successful and will face the same fate she does."

He wouldn't kill me. I'd be taken alive, but he was using our instincts against us. Removing my family was one sure way to leave me no choice.

"No." Shane actually spoke up, "No, that isn't what I meant to do-"

"Intention does not change the outcome." Aro looked to him next, "You are facing your own judgement for the young ones you harbor. In time." My heart sank, my breath hitching briefly as I looked back at him. That meant he was in trouble for helping the other kids.

"He didn't do anything wrong." Shannon actually snapped, "Nobody here did."

"It's okay." Shane grumbled, but he was looking right at Aro, "He'll never find them. The others will keep them safe." I wanted to tell him to stop challenging him, but I knew that would do more harm than good.

"We'll see." Demetri did smirk. Felix as well. I hated the sight.

Though I did want to speak up for them, none of my family had budged yet. We were facing a direct threat, and I knew even if nothing happened today, they would be back. That meant that at any time, it could all be over for them.

I remembered clearly what that was like. This could get bad. He was removing my choice now. He knew full well I wouldn't let that happen, but I was playing into his plan perfectly. I abandoned all my conditions immediately, knowing what kind of threat my family now faced. I knew that as I forced myself forward. Jerking myself out of Emmett's grip as he tried to stop me.

"Shorty-"

"I'll go." I whimpered, "I'll go.."

Without a word, he offered me his hand. I moved to take it, to prove my desperate cooperation, but before I could, Alice spoke up.

"Aro," She said, "Don't do this. Don't force her decision like this." Instead, she stepped forward to my side.

Instead of replying, though, I gave him my hand.

He'd obviously forgotten that I could see his decisions as well. I knew immediately that whether or not I agreed to go, he would still take out my family. My cooperation didn't make a difference. Not in this case.

As soon as we would get back to Volterra, he would send a group back here to find the kids. They would find them. Eventually.

At the same time, my family would be visited and removed as well. Just so I wouldn't have a reason to come back here. At finding out what he'd done, however, I would snap. Just the way they feared.

I got to see first hand what Shane was trying to warn them about.

There were no thoughts to this part of the vision. No thoughts, no emotion, just pure instinct. It was odd to see this, because I was so used to having emotion to drive my instincts, and thoughts behind those emotions, but getting to this thoughtless, emotionless rampage was the most agonizing thing I could ever imagine.

I'd literally wipe out half the guard and most of the city before I could be stopped. Aro first, of course since I was closest to him. Followed closely by Marcus. Caius last.

However, there was no relief in taking them out. There was no sense of satisfaction, just continued nothingness.

I'd have nothing left to live for, so I wouldn't mind being taken out, but the instinct to kill every living thing in my path was impossible to deny. It was scary to see what a vampire could become without a conscience guiding them. Even the most ruthless of our kind had some kind of knowledge, lessons learned to lead their actions. I no longer had that inner voice. No hesitation, no reason not to do everything in my power to just kill.

Seeing myself this way scared me. I jerked my hand away from his with a gasping whimper, just to stop seeing it.

"Change it." I snapped before he could even speak, "Change your decision, Aro. Decide _differently_!" I couldn't help my emotion breaking my voice. I was shaking my head without even realizing it, squeezing my eyes shut. I didn't want to be that, and I definitely didn't want a need to be that. I moved to step back, but Alice hugged me instead.

"This can end peacefully." Alice spoke for me, her firm gaze on Aro, "You already know what has to be done."

It became clear suddenly that she could now see, even though I was in the way. I didn't quite understand before. Her words, though, gave me hope. I pulled back enough to look up at her, but she wasn't looking at me. She was still watching Aro.

With a silent, extremely thoughtful nod, Aro turned away yet again. As soon as his back was turned, Alice gently pulled me away, only to pass me off to Carlisle. I hugged him immediately, but glanced back at Alice. What was her angle? What was her plan?

I hated the thought that they were facing this because he couldn't bear to let me die. Carlisle had the kindest heart I'd ever known. If it came down to it, I knew he would take the brunt of the punishment for every single person here. Without a moments hesitation.

"The offense is unforgivable, I'm afraid." Aro finally said, "The law is firm. However.. I may spare the rest of you, as you weren't the ones breaking said law."

"What the hell does that mean?" Emmett barked.

"It means.." Carlisle answered him quietly, "I will be facing this punishment alone."

"Um." Emmett nearly snapped, "No you won't."

"Yes he will." Alice mumbled, "Emmett." He shot her an incredulous look, shocked she could defend this.

So many lives could be spared if Emmett just shut his face. I could see her angle, but I could also see how this could go very wrong. She was betting on something that seemed so impossible. Nervously, I looked up at Carlisle, and though he glanced down at me, he didn't look at me very long. It could work, but it could also be the worst idea ever.

"I won't deliver the punishment here." Aro said, turning back to look at us, "To spare you the sight."

"So we won't know she lived." Emmett snapped, and I winced.

"Emmett." Alice snapped in reply, "Shut up." I couldn't help it. Just the thought of this ending badly ached painfully.

"Please." I whimpered, forcing myself forward, "Carlisle was just trying to save me. You saw."

"No one is above the law, my dear." Aro replied, "It's out of my hands." He had found a way to force me. He saw my hesitation before as a problem, but Shane had given him a way.

"Your hands made the law." I countered, "You could break any damn law you wanted. Nobody even has to know."

"And allow him to reoffend?" Aro asked skeptically.

"I was the only one." I replied, "You know him. You know he'd never do something like this without a good reason. He only did it, because-"

"Leandra." Carlisle murmured, "It's alright. I knew this day would come eventually. I'm fully prepared to face the consequences of my actions, as long as everyone else is spared. They're innocent. I acted alone."

"No." I whined, looking back at him, "That's not fair." I looked over at Alice, "Find a different way."

"There are only so many options, Leandra." Alice murmured, keeping her eyes averted, "This is the only way to spare everyone." I stared at her.

I couldn't believe how badly this had gone. Before, it was just me. Until Shane had to show up and prove what kind of a creature I was. I hadn't even known how dangerous I could be, but given what I'd already been through, I probably had a higher-than-normal tolerance for things like that. I'd also already come close to becoming that creature, and without a real chance to recover after what happened with Jack, I was very near the tipping point.

Maybe I never turned into that with Jack because it'd been my choice to leave. Just so I could get to this part, before Aro showed up. Maybe my reluctance to accept that bond was what made it possible to leave at all, and now that I had finally accepted that bond, at the worst possible moment, it made this situation a thousand times harder.

Before I even had a chance to react, Aro turned away again. Him distracting me made it possible for Felix to take hold of me. Pulling me away from Carlisle rather roughly, separating me from him by a few feet before Carlisle turned toward Esme.

"Hey." Mikah frowned after me.

"Stay." Alice told him, "I know it's not ideal-"

"Ideal?" Mikah asked, "Even I know this isn't fair." I looked back sadly, whimpering at the thought of leaving them.

"Just stay put." Jasper told him next, and I realized that Jasper would be the one that stepped up to train him. I recognized that tone, and I knew it worked. As against this as Mikah was, he didn't have much of a choice. Jasper's training would work on him in a way it never worked on me. I tried to take comfort in the thought that Mikah had someone to train him.

I looked over at Carlisle and Esme again, and the sight I saw bothered me so badly. He stood there, his arms around her. His forehead against hers in the most heartbreaking sight of goodbye I'd ever seen.

She couldn't come with us. She was needed here, but because of me, they were being separated. I knew a lot of his decision was for her. He would give his life just to keep her safe. The others too, but most of all her.

I jerked my arm out of Felix's grip, but I didn't try to run away. I knew I could get away easily, thanks to my speed compared to theirs, but that would put my family in direct danger.

Felix didn't try to restrain me again, but he stayed close.

I couldn't help it, though.

"I hate you for this." I whimpered, looking over at Aro. He didn't reply, watching the rest of my family as well. I went on, "You can't do this." Again, no response, but I shut up as Jane looked over at me.

After just a minute longer, Carlisle sighed deeply as he walked forward. Away from where he should be, and though I could see her desperate sadness, Esme stayed back. Words would never express how sorry I was for existing in that moment. It felt too much like he was choosing me over them, and that stabbed at me.

With no parting apologies, Aro turned. My arm was gripped painfully and I was forced to turn and shoved forward. Just like that, we were leaving.

It became officially real to me the first few running steps we were forced to take away from the house.

The trip to Volterra was a silent one. Though I wanted to resist, and go back, I couldn't without abandoning Carlisle. I was sure that was the whole point of dragging me here like this. With him. This was another way to make sure I went along with it, despite knowing that as soon as we got there, he wouldn't be coming back out.

I felt the distance between us and the family growing, and with each passing mile, I grew more tense.

We crossed the ocean uneventfully. That was what took the most time, but within moments of running, we were dry again.

I hesitated only a moment walking inside the dreaded building, but Felix hardly let me miss a step.

Every pair of eyes followed us through the dark stone halls as we passed, a lot of sharp whispers of surprise as they saw me. I was absolutely terrified, worse because I knew I would eventually have to fight for Carlisle. I obviously felt outnumbered, and knew I had no chance against any of these guard members.

I spotted a familiar face waiting outside the round, center-most room of the building. It was Aidan. He was my personal bodyguard during my stay here before. I didn't want to say anything, as I was still terrified, but I honestly hoped that if I survived, I'd see more of him. He was always so kind to me.

I looked up at him as he opened the left side door for us, and he looked down at me. He was probably the only one here so far that hadn't looked at me in disgust. Though it was just long enough for a glance, and we were led forward into the room, it was still nice to see a friendly face.

"Carlisle." Caius actually stood up to speak to him, "I admit, I couldn't believe this news."

I kept my eyes down, subtly moving closer to Carlisle's side as Aro moved forward, toward the front of the room. The rest of the accompanying guard spread out behind us. Making an escape impossible. This was where we'd face their decision.

"It is surprising." Marcus added, but I shook my head.

"I know." Carlisle actually replied, "But I'm not denying what I did. I could never do that to her."

I kept my eyes down, even as I knew they looked at me.

"You're very brave." Caius nodded, "I'd like to know your reasons. Felix. Take this one into the back."

I knew what would happen while I was gone. I tensed in response to Caius' order, and given the way Carlisle looked down at me, he felt it. I looked up at him in return, and though I was freaking out, Carlisle tried to calm me down in the short few seconds we had.

I wouldn't let it happen.

I flinched as Felix was suddenly beside me, taking my arm in his large fist. I surprised myself by the amount of fight I gave the second I felt the pressure of his hand closing on me.

He growled a little, hauling me off my feet as I struggled. He made it only a few feet away before I moved to bite him. His hand was suddenly gripping my face, placing painful pressure right into my jaw and as pissed as I was, I cried out.

I wasn't expecting this turn of events, and expected what happened next even less. Before I even knew it, I was dropped and Felix was hitting the wall across the room.

I righted myself instantly, crouching beside Carlisle suddenly there. My eyes on Felix as he straightened his shirt. It surprised me, because I never thought to consider Carlisle that physically strong. I knew he had to be, but he was such a gentle person, he never had to show it.

"I'm sorry." Carlisle spoke quietly, "But I cannot stand to see her treated that way."

"He is right." Aro murmured, "Be a bit more careful, would you Felix? She is rather important."

I tensed harder the more Felix closed in, and I couldn't help it. As soon as he reached out to grab me again, I snapped.

I never realized before how easy it would be to rip off two fingers with just my teeth, but I managed to. He pulled back in pain right as I tore back in anger, and that was a recipe for disaster.

The sounds of his pain drowned out the sound of his fingers hitting the floor, thankfully. I was surprised, but I wasn't sorry. I glared up at him, watching his every pain-filled move. I'd damage him as much as I could. As much as I had to.

Of course he didn't take this lightly. Snarling a rather loud curse of pain, he laid a pretty decent slap right to my face, too quickly for me to dodge.

"Oh dear." Aro sighed as I fell over, dazed, "This isn't going well." Carlisle was immediately beside me, helping me to sit up as Felix turned and stalked away.

Without warning, I was ripped up off the floor by the back of my neck and dragged away. I twisted like an animal, making noises to match. I managed to writhe free just long enough to dart away, making it back to Carlisle just in time for him to lift me. I held onto him like a monkey, and nobody was going to get me loose without either hurting me, or getting hurt themselves.

I remembered this feeling. This sense of desperation in a very similar situation in the vision. Carlisle had kept me safe then. It was my job to do that now.

"I'll protect you." I whimpered to him, "I promise."

"Leandra." He sighed, lowering back down to his knees, standing me in front of him, "I know how hard this is for you to understand right now, but you have to let go. Whatever is meant to happen will happen, and as hard as this is to understand, I don't want you here to witness it."

"No." I snapped in reply, "I won't do it. I won't let them. You saved me, so I have to save you. That's how it works. That's how it's always worked."

"Time's up, and so is my patience." Demetri growled behind me, grabbing a hold of my hair and ripping me away from him. I let out a cry, scrambling to my feet as I looked back at Carlisle standing back up.

I growled loudly, fighting harder than I had yet. Demetri managed to grip both my upper arms and force them behind me. His grip was too tight. It was hurting me, but I refused to let that stop me.

I dropped down, pulling him down with me and his grip loosened in response. I twisted free, rolling away as fast as I could. Of course he followed me, and as funny as I knew the situation was to see, I sure wasn't laughing.

I was faster than him, and after about a minute of evading another capture while being chased around the room, he was getting irritated. Quickly.

"Jane." Demetri requested, and as if waiting for the opportunity, she wasted no time. I expected her to hurt me, but when Carlisle dropped to his knees, I growled. Focusing on her now, I moved forward, but in my distraction, Demetri had been given a way to catch me.

My neck was gripped tight yet again and I was yanked off my feet at arm's length. Demetri turned with a growl, and I was able to see behind him as Carlisle continued to kneel there, muted grunts of pain escaping as I clearly saw a newly-mended Felix moving for him.

It was inevitable. I never even felt the snap coming, so I had no way to prevent it.

 **A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long. This chapter gave me _hell_.  
I did what I could to get this out when I could. I apologize for the crappy cliffhanger lol  
THANK YOU! To my reviewers! THANK YOU! YOU'RE AWESOME! I LOVE YOU!  
Please feel free to leave me your thoughts. We leave on a trip for the holidays, and I could really use some positive notes to read along the way. :( I will do my best to get thirteen out before we leave, but if I somehow can't, I'm bringing my laptop with me to work on it in spare time.  
It looks like thirteen will be the last of this story. Unfortunately. BUT! I'm predicting it to be very informative. We shall see. :)  
Until thirteen, my friends! :D**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Fighting the snap was the last I remembered, until just moments later when I was back with Carlisle, literally panting in anger as I held onto him. In the oddest way, I felt like I was just waking up. The left over foggy feeling I remembered feeling from my human years disoriented me for a second. I was clearly still right where I was last I knew, but I was no longer held or restrained, and Carlisle was no longer being hurt by Jane's gift. That was what mattered.

I had no idea what was happening, but I didn't dare let go. I was disoriented and afraid.

"Such devotion." Aro murmured, obviously deeply shocked, but also admiring. It confused me.

I finally thought to turn and look back, where I found both the lifeless bodies of what used to be Felix and Demetri, in pieces scattered throughout the room. My body ached, and my entire left arm felt stiff, as if it was mending. Which I wasn't used to, but that only told me I'd been through hell.

But the two bodies on the floor were much worse off. Pieces were everywhere, and I couldn't even see Felix's head anywhere, but I had my suspicions of the shattered upper window nearest the ceiling behind them. All around us, other guard members were hunting pieces of Felix and Demetri down like they were chips that had spilled out of a bag. Like it was a typical Thursday.

I knew they could be put back together, which was probably why Aro wasn't more upset, but I had absolutely no memory of what must have been a very brutal fight.

Somehow, I knew I'd done that. My cheeks were wet, coated and cold with tears, and I realized I'd been crying again. Neither Caius nor Marcus had anything to add to that, but their expressions said it all. They were shocked, but intensely interested, given how they sat forward in their chairs.

"Care to try again, Jane?" Aro asked softly, and before he was even finished saying that, I let go and spun. Fully intending to find her next, but she was ready. I didn't even manage half a step in her direction before I hit the floor heavily in intense pain. Carlisle kneeled with me, clearly concerned as I sobbed into the floor. As hard as I tried not to this time, I couldn't help the whimpering.

"Please." Carlisle spoke for me, "Stop this."

The sound of what was left of the two bodies being dragged away was loud to me, grating on my nerves in a very painful way. I couldn't even take a breath. Not that I needed to, but the tension through me wouldn't allow it. I rolled forward onto my knees and hands, doing what I could to push through the pain, but there was just no way. I dropped back down.

"It seems she has hidden potential no one could have anticipated." Aro mused quietly to himself as he slowly looked back at Caius, "Not even Leandra herself. Can you imagine what we could have if she learned to access that independently? She would be untouchable. However.." He paused for a moment, "It seems Carlisle is the key to reaching that potential."

"Please." Carlisle stated firmer this time.

"Fascinating." Aro chuckled. I couldn't look up, but I heard him wave his hand and suddenly, the pain was gone. All at once, my body relaxed as I drew a breath in. I only took a few seconds, though. Despite the lingering pain, I immediately pushed up to my knees, hugging Carlisle again, growling wordless threats as I listened to Aro approaching from behind me.

When he got close, I turned and crouched. Of course he slowed his approach at my clearly defensive position.

"Though comes the task of training her." Marcus pointed out, "She is a risk."

"It would be quite difficult to contain her." Caius seemed to agree.

I glanced back at Carlisle as he gently gripped my arm, pulling me up to stand beside him. He was right. The last thing I wanted to be seen as was a threat.

Instead of replying to them, though, Aro smiled.

"Yet she came back to her senses." He pointed out quietly.

That was a good point. Shane had said that there was no way to come back from losing myself that way. How had I done it if it was supposed to be impossible?

"You aren't the first immortal child I've come across, Leandra." Aro explained, probably seeing my confusion. He went on, "But you are the first I've ever seen cry. However.. What Shane was referring to when he mistakenly thought he was informing me, was what we would consider a 'tantrum'. I only mean that most children like you usually do not have a chance to come back to your senses. The one case of a tantrum he's seen genuinely pales in comparison to the many hundreds I've seen.

"I have witnessed the countless lives taken, both immortal and otherwise, and the absolute chaos created because of this 'tantrum', and I would assume.. Based on what we've all just witnessed, that to stop this tantrum, we would simply need to give you what you want. Am I correct in that assumption?"

I honestly didn't know. It sure seemed that way to me, but I really didn't trust where this was going.

"And what you want most is Carlisle's companionship." He went on as if my silence was an answer, but I hissed a breath in at the first sign of his continued approach.

Aro finally sighed, "I can see this will be a problem."

"I won't let you hurt him." I growled through my teeth.

"Leandra," Aro spoke carefully, ignoring my next hiss as he slowly continued to approach, "My true intention was never to harm him. I simply wanted to see your potential. Exactly how far your ability can see, and.. Otherwise. I wanted no distractions." I didn't believe him.

It was clear to me now that I could take care of myself, but I'd never allow anything to happen to him. I needed him too much. Especially after being so forcefully reminded of all he meant to me. How often had he faced danger for me. How far he'd gone to keep me safe. Teaching me, right along with everyone else, how to be human. I had to hold onto that.

"Aro," Marcus spoke slowly, quietly, "Perhaps this should be done another way."

"I agree." Aro murmured, "Leandra, allow me to show you." I opened my eyes, hesitantly looking up at him. I needed to be sure, and this was the only way I could do that.

I felt oddly hypersensitive. Every movement, every sound made my tension worse. After all that had just happened, piled onto everything I'd just gone through with Jack, I felt overloaded. It took all I had in me not to rip his hand off at the wrist, but I knew that wouldn't go over well.

However, I'd been betrayed by him before.

"It's alright." Carlisle told me gently, and though I still hesitated, I believed him a little more. He was the calm I needed to make it through this.

Slowly, I placed my hand in Aro's hand, and he gently covered it with his other hand. He didn't pull me anywhere. He didn't move. Not even a twitch as we began to see.

I saw immediately what I didn't see in the heat of the moment. Aro was orchestrating everything without me even seeing it. He wanted me to think Carlisle was in danger, so I would find that snapping point, just so he could see what I was capable of. To test me.

Watching me fight just now confirmed his thoughts. I got to see myself as I fought both Demetri and Felix at once, and I didn't recognize a thing about myself. It was only a glance, a fleeting thought, one small part that made up the whole shift of the vision I had now.

He saw, noting the bond I obviously had with Carlisle, and he was now intending to offer him a place here. With them. Mainly to control me, but also in a way, tempt me to stay. Should he turn it down, he'd be free to go. If it meant having my cooperation, he wouldn't be harmed in any way. I agreed with that.

I, however, was the product of a law broken that was never meant to be broken. Just for this reason. I couldn't be allowed to roam free when technically, I shouldn't even exist. Technically, I would be a prisoner here for the rest of time, but I would be treated well. Of course I would be. My gift meant the world to Aro. Everything else was just a bonus, and he would do anything it took to gain my cooperation.

But that meant letting Carlisle go, which was hard enough on Aro, but it was unacceptable to lose me too. Though I could see he was on the fence.

All of that led to us here. His intentions and decisions which led up to this moment.

My hand was released slowly, carefully, and I stepped back.

"He'll never agree." I mumbled, my voice a lot calmer, yet still shook with emotion. I whimpered, glancing over at Carlisle before looking back up at Aro, "Never in a million years."

Aro sighed, "That is a shame."

"I know you wanna keep me here." I mumbled, "But it won't work the way you want it to. He'll never agree, but when he leaves without me, it'll just start all over again."

"So you're saying I need to imprison him as well?"

"No." I replied, "I'm saying he doesn't belong here, and neither do I. You wanna keep me here, and not let me go home, but it's all I want. I'll fight every day I'm alive to get back home."

"What, may I ask.." Aro murmured quietly, slowly crouching in front of me, "Draws you back there?"

"Family." I answered immediately. I didn't even need to add any other answers. I went on anyway, "You know me now. You know what that means to me. I've fought so hard for it, and.. Well, without Jack, now I have a real chance to start again. I have a chance now to have everything I've ever wanted. I have my family waiting for me. Sure, they're not perfect, but neither am I.

"I have my best friend back there waiting for me, and for once, nobody has to worry about him accidentally killing me, because I'm not human anymore. I'll never stop fighting for that. I'll never stop fighting for the people I love more than anything in the world. I worked so hard just to get a chance at everything my family offers me. I _died_ for it. It's taken me so long to get to this spot, and you're asking me to give all that up."

My voice quieted, nearly choking in all the emotion I felt. For the first time, I held his gaze steady.

"You saw." I whimpered softly, "All I've done just to reach everything I keep losing. Do you know what that's like? To be pulled this way and that way, while the whole time, you just want to go home. It means.. Everything to me."

I sighed, finally looking down, "I guess not."

"I deeply admire your honesty, Leandra." He told me after several moments of silence. He sounded gentler than I was used to hearing him. I picked up that small difference. After a few more moments of studying me, Aro sighed heavily and stood back up.

It was silent for a several minutes this time. I used that time to hug onto Carlisle's side. Now it was just about waiting to see what the next step would be.

I knew any minute I would have to say goodbye to him, but if it meant he could go back home and be happy, I was willing to do that. Despite what I said, and knowing what doing so would eventually lead me to. I would let him go. I would practically shove him out the door myself if it meant he was safe. As badly as I wanted to go with him.

"Brother?" Caius asked once those few silent minutes were up, "You must decide."

"I suppose you're right." Aro sighed in response, looking back at me.

I jumped, turning sharply at the sound of the doors slamming open behind us. Before I'd even fully turned, my neck was gripped tight and I was suddenly slammed back against the wall clear across the room.

Surprised and genuinely terrified, I blinked up at Felix standing there. His intensely angry expression froze everything for a moment. That had actually taken me off guard, and as fast as I was, I really hadn't been prepared.

I was released half a second later, dropping to my feet. I looked back up, watching as Carlisle rounded to stand in front of me.

"Felix." Aro's voice held a firm growl, stopping Felix midstep with just the sound, "That is quite enough."

Though he looked over at him, he knew better than to argue. No matter what I'd done, he wouldn't go against Aro. With another growl, his teeth clenched, Felix looked back down at me. Around Carlisle, ignoring him completely.

I flinched, clenching my own teeth as he suddenly pointed at me.

"This isn't over." He growled, but I couldn't help glaring right back at him. I didn't reply, because I didn't want to fight him, but I wasn't exactly backing down, either.

Here I was, fifty pounds soaking wet and just under four feet tall, glaring up at Felix, over two feet taller than me. I forced myself to focus on the fact that I could protect myself, and I refused to cower.

I growled under my breath as he suddenly turned away. Stalking quickly back toward the doors. Punching his fist through the door on his way out.

"Can I just say something?" To my surprise, Aidan spoke up from the back of the room.

"Of course." Aro replied, "Please."

"I say let the child go home." He said, "As long as I've been here, I've never seen anyone put up as much of a fight as she has, and it wasn't even for herself. You can't find that kind of thing anywhere these days."

Aro nodded, "Thank you, Aidan. I appreciate your input." With a responding nod, Aidan fell quiet. Until Aro spoke again, "In fact, I'm going to ask you to escort our guests here into the the next room. I'm afraid we have quite a bit we need to discuss, and I feel they'll be more comfortable in there."

"Of course." Aidan replied easily, and I couldn't help hesitating. Guests. Meaning both of us. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out where this was heading, but at Carlisle's prompting, I turned with him.

I couldn't help glancing back the whole way to the door.

"Oh," Aro spoke before we could fully leave the room, "And Aidan.. I trust you'll personally see to their complete comfort and safety while they wait." Meaning, keeping Felix or Demetri from kicking my ass. I had to appreciate that part.

"Yes, sir." Aidan replied with a smile, "You have my word." With a parting nod, we were allowed to walk out into the hall. I looked around as we stood there, waiting for the doors to be closed.

It was dark, damp, and exactly how I remembered this hallway.

"This way." Aidan offered us a small smile, and easily led the way to the right. We walked along in silence, and though I kept looking back, I was calming down a little at a time. Now that we were both out of direct danger, I felt like I didn't need to be _quite_ as edgy.

I felt like I could lead the way myself, knowing right where we were being led.

Up the hall from the room, the opposite way we'd come to get there, was a small sitting room of sorts. It was small, but it was stocked. Floor to ceiling with books along one long wall. An extravagant bench situated on the adjacent wall, just underneath the window.

I just wasn't sure how often this room got any use.

"If you need anything, please feel free to let me know." Aidan told us as we walked into the room. I crossed the open space, straight to the bench and I kneeled up on it as I looked out the window.

"Thank you, Aidan." Carlisle replied for me, and a second later, the door closed.

It was silent for a few long moments while I looked out over the sunlit landscape. Below us were tons of little houses and buildings, but further out there, the rolling countryside was glowing in the early afternoon sunlight.

"I never thought I'd ever see this view again." I admitted quietly, glancing over as Carlisle sat beside where I kneeled.

"Again?" He prompted and oddly, I smiled a little. I just found it funny.

"I was here before." I replied, "A long time ago, remember? Even with as miserable as I was, I liked the view. There's no other place like this."

"Please, tell me about that time." He requested quietly. I hesitated a moment, looking over at him. I realized quickly that I didn't have a reason to hesitate anymore. I could become an open book. In a way, I knew why he would ask. He wanted to know everything Aro had seen.

"It was the first vision I ever had." I mumbled, climbing down and sitting next to him, "The worst ending out of all of them."

I started from the very beginning. The very start of my story, I explained to Carlisle the circumstances that brought me to meet him. The rest of the family. I told him about every bit of every struggle I'd overcome, all I'd faced and all the family had faced. Meeting them, being taken in, being left behind after Bella's birthday party. All I'd faced through that. Their return. Everything they had to teach me.

The more I talked, the less tense he became.

I moved on from that first vision, explaining about all the emotion I was forced to hide as everything was ripped away from me. How badly that crushed me when I forgot everything I'd just dreamed about, and from the moment I met Alice again, my journey to remembering it. How hard I worked during that vision to expand my mind and make room for two sets of memories. How hard I worked to train my mind to accept that.

Then I moved on to this one. The moment I woke up on his couch at home, and exactly what my thoughts were. How badly I wanted to get all of that back, but knowing I couldn't without causing another avalanche of problems to come tumbling down on their heads.

I told him about all the different people in my life through those visions. All separate people, yet all working together to get me to the place I needed to be.

I even told him about my history with Aro. How hard it was to accept my gift in general, but even harder when I learned what it meant to Aro. The original agreement I made with him, and the reason behind it. I told him about what I'd seen happen to him because of Alice's decisions, but how her changing her mind at the last minute didn't help me. I'd already been scarred by it.

I told him about my time spent with Aro, and everything that entailed. Including Josh.

It was nice to just talk, to let the words tumble out like a dam had finally broken. I finally let it out, and the more I talked, the more pent-up emotion I got out as well. I still hurt over the life I used to have and how different I used to be. I felt a thousand years older, but my past was mine. It had shaped the person I was now, and I began to fully realize, right along with him, that these visions had impacted me so much that it created who I was. They shaped me. Built me.

Everything I had been through, everything I'd learned and everything they'd taught me had carried over until now, and I knew I'd always have those memories. As sad as they made me to think about, I would never let that go.

That explanation took over an hour. My pauses didn't help, as a lot of what I'd just told him was still difficult to put into words, but I managed to.

"I can certainly see why you're so defensive." He nodded a little once I had finally caught up.

"Aro was the reason I had to be turned the first time." I admitted, "I think that.. That was the worst I'd ever been hurt. Every time you've turned me, it was because I was too hurt to live without it, so I don't know why I ever thought this time would be different."

We sat in thoughtful silence for several more minutes before I looked over at him.

"Do you regret it?" I asked him, "Turning me?"

"As long as I live," He replied, "However long that may be.. I do not, have not, nor will I ever regret saving you. Regardless of what the law states, I firmly believe that there are exceptions that must be made sometimes, and you were the exception. I will face the consequences and accept full responsibility, but I will never regret what I did."

"Even if it means he makes you stay here?" I asked hesitantly.

"Even then." He replied.

I sighed, "I think I feel bad enough for the both of us. It's killing me to think that you're here because of me."

"You have no reason to feel guilty." He told me, "You've done nothing wrong."

"Yeah, but.. You're here because of _me_. Maybe Rosalie was right." I looked down, "I never mean to cause anybody any trouble. I've done the best I could to make you proud of me, but.." I trailed off, shaking my head as I looked down.

"Has that been your goal?" He asked, quietly surprised, "My approval?"

"I don't have much to give." I admitted, "That's why a lot of the other kids are chased away. They lose their worth when they outgrow their newborn phase. Shannon says it's because they need more than they give. I didn't want that to happen to me."

"Leandra," He sighed, "I'm sorry you ever believed for a moment you would ever lose your worth. That is literally impossible. Our family is never about who is strongest, or even fastest. It's never about our weaknesses or strengths. It's about supporting each other when and wherever we may need it."

"I guess I forgot that for a second." I mumbled, "It wasn't all about making you proud of me. It was about not giving you a chance to regret what you did for me. I know you say you don't, but.. I got you into this mess. You should be at home. With Esme."

"Esme is strong." He assured me, "I fully believe she'll be okay. In time."

"I'm glad I saved her." I closed my eyes, "But I never would have been that brave if it wasn't for her." I paused for a moment, beating back emotion the best I could before I spoke again, "I miss her."

I hated letting that slip, because I knew it had to be bugging him too, but he just sighed. Placing his arm around my shoulders.

"I know." He murmured, and I heard the truth in that. He did know. He knew far better than I did how easy it was to miss Esme.

We both fell quiet as we clearly heard the sound of a door opening up the hall. I looked up at him as the door opened across the room, knowing that they were done talking now.

"Thank you." Carlisle finally told me as Aidan stood in the doorway, "For finally telling me everything."

"Thank you for everything." I replied sadly, standing up, "But.. If he says you can go, you have to go." He didn't reply to that. He stood up beside me, gently taking my hand as we crossed the room.

"Carlisle.." I insisted, pausing just outside the door.

"As I mentioned," He answered this time, "I fully believe Esme will be alright. In time. She has every bit of strength she needs to lead the others. Whether it is Aro's decision to keep me here, or if it is to let me go, I will choose to stay."

I whimpered, "But-"

"I'll be leaving here with you, or not at all." He told me, "You are a part of my family. I have been chosen to come here with you. I'm choosing to stand by you, no matter what that might mean." I knew by his tone he meant it. He had already decided. I sighed, but I didn't want to keep pressing him.

"Aw.." Aidan muttered sadly behind us as he closed the door, "For what it's worth, I'm really hoping their decision is in your favor."

"Thanks." I smiled sadly at him, looking down.

Every step up the hall felt made my feet feel like they were made of solid lead. I truly didn't want him to stay, but the selfish part of me was glad he would if he had to. I knew full well that without him, I wouldn't last a week here. He obviously knew it too.

The doors to the round room were pulled open for us, and I hated the sound. I felt like I wanted to be sick, but at the same time, I just wanted to get this over with.

"Good luck." Aidan murmured to us as we moved forward. I wanted to thank him, but I couldn't just yet.

Aro stood up as we walked in, and despite how hard I tried to read the hesitant expression in his eyes, but I couldn't.

"Carlisle. My friend." Aro was calm, taking our attention as he spoke slowly once the doors were closed behind us. He slowly gestured us forward, and I finally did grow nervous again. I took Carlisle's hand as we started forward, our steps echoing quietly as we approached.

"It seems she's chosen." Aro started, "And we have reached a decision I'm confident can benefit everyone."

"He doesn't belong here." I spoke up before he could continue, and Carlisle looked down at me, "He didn't do anything wrong."

"Please." Aro insisted, "Allow me to finish." I fell quiet, looking down.

"Sorry." I mumbled after a moment.

"We have reached a decision." Aro repeated, "And she is correct. I have seen her indescribable struggle. I have seen.. Her purest heart, despite all she's faced in her young life. Despite the darkness that has tried time and again to corrupt her and defile her. Leandra is the kindest soul I've ever met."

I hung my head, expecting this to go bad. Quickly.

"Who am I to imprison such a rare creature?" He asked, quieter now, "At least.. For now.. I am assigning you, Carlisle, the task of sheltering her."

Surprised, I looked up.

"You and your coven will care for her." Aro went on, "You will keep her safe. I will return for her when I may need her, but she will remain there, with your coven. With you."

I could hardly believe it. I never thought he would let this happen this time around. Especially not with all he'd just learned.

"A-And the other kids?" I wondered if I was pushing it.

"Perhaps.." He mused, "It's best to keep them around a bit longer. After all. It does pay to learn all you can about your own kind, and to discover any more potentially hidden talents that you may possess."

I sighed hard, sobbing in relief. He had no idea the weight he had just lifted off of me. The sound echoed in the room, and if I could, I would have cried.

"Thank you." Carlisle told him. He had no idea what he'd just done for me. We could go home, _and_ Rosalie could never tell anyone to get rid of me again. She would finally have to shut her face.

"Thank you." I breathed as well, holding tighter to Carlisle's hand, "I promise. I won't ever forget this. I'll help you whenever you need it, anytime I can."

"You are very special to me, Leandra." Aro murmured with a small smile, "I must thank you as well. I have seen something in you that I have never seen, and it truly was my pleasure to meet you. I truly hope this can be the start of a rather beautiful alliance. I only have one condition."

"Anything." I said before Carlisle could reply. I realized, as I was saying it, that I needed to be careful. Agreeing too fast was how we got into this mess.

"I will be sending one of my own guards back with you." Aro told us, and I slouched a little in disappointment.

"A babysitter?" I frowned, and he chuckled.

"No." He replied, "Merely for.. Locating purposes. It's far easier for Demetri to track you down if he has a more familiar scent to trace, should you wander too far from your territory."

I sighed, but I didn't have much choice, as the alternative absolutely did not work for me. I looked over and up at Carlisle beside me. Ultimately, it was up to him.

"Do you accept these terms?" Aro asked him as well.

"I accept." Carlisle sighed after a moment, "I suppose it couldn't hurt."

"Wonderful." Aro smiled, "I will be considering volunteers-"

"Can it be Aidan?" I asked, and Aro looked down at me, "I like him." Though Aro hesitated, he didn't seem disappointed. Only surprised as he looked toward the doors and Aidan standing there. Just as surprised as Aro was.

He looked back down at me, "I suppose I could spare him. He is one of my most trusted. I'm sure he would be a great addition."

"I know." I replied, looking back at Aidan, "I remember him."

Aro chuckled, "Oh, yes. It seems I'd forgotten, but of course, it would be his choice."

"Sure." Aidan replied, "I'll go."

"It is decided." Aro smiled, "Wonderful. Now, my friends, I must ask you to wait just a little while longer. You may leave when the sun is in a more convenient position."

That was reasonable, so I nodded a little. I could wait just a little longer.

"Aidan," Aro spoke again, "Please see them back to the next room." With a nod, Aidan stepped forward, "And immediately return here. We have important matters to discuss."

Though this was the best news I'd probably ever hear, Carlisle didn't seem as relieved as I was. We had a long wait ahead of us, so I decided to ask.

"What's wrong?" I asked him once we were alone in the room, "You don't seem happy."

"I only worry." He admitted, "I have to wonder. What is he planning?" He had a point. Aro's condition seemed a little off, but I trusted Aidan. He was always very kind to me.

"I think he just wants me to like him." I muttered, "Making us stay here wouldn't make that happen. If I'm happy, he's happy." I abruptly stopped, frowning. Carlisle looked over at me, recognizing that phrase as well.

I'd used those same words when talking about Mikah countless times. I honestly wasn't sure what that could mean, but I would put it back for now.

"He gets what he wants if I get what I want." I went on, "And what I did to Demetri and Felix could happen to them. I never wanted to hurt anybody, but I did because I had to. I didn't even have control over it." I paused, "What even happened? I don't remember any of it."

He hesitated before he finally answered me, "I've never personally seen anything like it, Leandra. Had I not been standing there, I have no doubts you would have destroyed the entire room, in addition to every individual within your power to reach. Jane's gift did not work. Alec's gift was useless. I'm not exaggerating when I say that it honestly was the most awe-inspiring and terrifying thing I've ever witnessed."

Well, that was something. I'd never been described as 'terrifying' before, and it explained their surprise when I came around.

"Well.." I muttered, "Maybe Emmett will stop making fun of me now."

"It certainly is a little worrying, thinking about all the times that could have happened to one of us." He murmured, "Had Jasper pressed you any harder.." He trailed off, and I looked down.

"He made me leave." I mumbled, "But I wasn't as attached to you then, and I had a way to fix it. I wasn't cornered like I was here, so that probably wouldn't have happened to him."

"Regardless." He nodded a little, "We need to keep this in mind when it comes to your training."

"As long as I know nobody will hurt you or Esme," I looked down, "That won't happen. What Jane was doing, and Felix walking over to you was what made that happen. I don't care so much about myself, but.. You guys are different."

"I understand." He replied, "However, that hidden potential is something nobody is ever going to take lightly. I'll personally see to it."

That was a relief. In a way, it was a huge relief to have those answers. To know what I could do, and plan around it. I was finally starting to see how this could work, and personally, I doubted anyone but my family ever _could_ be capable of keeping me. Sure, I was special, but my family was equipped with more than enough compassion to counter it. Now that they knew better what they were going to be working with.

Not ten minutes after dusk started to fall, Aidan and Aro himself came to let us out.

"Carlisle," Aro murmured in parting, "My friend, always remember what a gift you have here." He gestured to me, and for a moment, I wasn't sure what he meant by 'gift'. He went on, "Cherish her."

In a way, I understood it was both. Both my ability, and the thoughts he'd seen.

"Believe me." Carlisle replied, "I have never known anyone like her. I admire her every day, Aro. She will be cherished, and appreciated."

Tuning out whatever Aro said in reply, I looked at Aidan standing patiently behind Aro standing facing us, and Aidan smiled a little in return. Probably trying to ease my impatience. I desperately just wanted to get out of there and on our way, but running too quickly probably wouldn't have gone over well.

That still didn't make it any easier. I wanted to fly, but Aro was still holding us back.

"Wait." Aidan mouthed the word at me, not making a sound. I did what I could to keep the smile back, biting my lip. He knew this situation best. I would take his advice.

After a few more exchanged words, we were released without any issues. Far easier than we walked in, we just walked out of there, just as the sun set behind the horizon. Aidan following us silently, as part of the agreement, but I knew he wouldn't cause any problems.

A subtle form of excitement rolled in my stomach as soon as we were running, chasing the setting sun as we headed for home. I was so excited to start living my life for me. No more fear, or hiding. There was no dark shadow hiding somewhere in my future.

Really for the first time, I finally felt like I'd gotten it right. This was a brand new feeling. I couldn't see it while going through it, but this was the way it was meant to happen. Fighting for all the right reasons, and honesty in all the right places led right here. It could have gone better, but this outcome was more than enough to make up for all the pain and fear I'd been forced to endure.

I wasn't sure how I should have felt. My life so far had been bad enough to make Aro take pity on me, and release me on the world as quickly as he did. We hadn't had a verbal conversation longer than a few minutes combined, yet he felt for me as much as he did.

My past, my memories, my experiences.. Every private thought, every wish, every nightmare I'd lived through was enough to make someone as heartless and ruthless as Aro do for me what he did. Even without my gift, he had every right to keep me there. He had every right, yet he made an exception. For me. Someone he had never seen or spoken to two days before.

But it was that horrible cascade of experiences and thoughts that had moved Aro Volturi to be merciful. I should have been upset that he _dared_ to try enforcing this law. I should have been, but I wasn't. I felt grateful for those experiences and thoughts for teaching Aro that there was far more to someone than only their thoughts.

I looked over at Carlisle as we ran, passing cities and country-sides and forests like they weren't even there. Running along the turning earth, just to get to the place we belonged. I was most grateful that those thoughts and experiences were ultimately what saved his life. They spared him, because of me. That attachment I'd been so convinced I'd lost forever was running along right beside me, and I vowed in that silent run that I would never forget that again.

I would never lose my worth, but I would never stop striving to increase that worth. In their eyes, and my own. I would make his fight worth while. I would give him someone to be proud of.

I would tell Esme everything I told Carlisle. I would fix that attachment too. I would reach for those things I had in those visions now that I felt them right back within my reach. I would take back that sense of unconditional love, instead of pushing it away, and I would let it fix me.

I would be sad. I would be vulnerable, because now, I _could_.

I would tell Esme everything I loved about her, and exactly why she meant so much to me. I would tell her everything the second I could. I wouldn't waste this new opportunity. I wouldn't waste it. I would walk along this new path, and I would learn to be okay. I would learn to be more than okay.

Dare I think it, I would learn how to be _happy_.

I knew the others heard our approach. Up ahead, in the distance, they ran outside from the house, and we heard their running footsteps toward us. An unshakable smile on my face, a quiet laugh bubbling out before I could stop it, I was happier than I'd ever been.

Esme met us first, and to my surprise, she hugged me first. I met her with a tight hug of my own, nearly knocking her over, but she stayed firm. Turning me a little as she hugged me. Carlisle jogged to a stop just behind me, and I swear, I heard Esme sob.

I could feel how grateful she was as she hugged me, which probably explained why I was the one she hugged first. I'd brought Carlisle home. Right back where he belonged.

"Oh." She finally spoke, but it was more a sound of surprise, and I knew she caught sight of Aidan.

"It's okay now." I whimpered against her shoulder instead of explaining, "It's all gonna be okay now." I closed my eyes as she smoothed my hair against the back of my head. Again, I didn't want to let her go, but this time, I knew I could. I pulled back to look up at her, smiling at her smile.

"I knew you had it, shorty." Emmett chuckled from the side and I looked over, "How'd you do it?" I was glad someone had some confidence in me, because I sure didn't.

"I killed Felix." I replied, "And Demetri."

"By yourself?" His jaw dropped, "And they just _let_ you?"

"Long story." Carlisle sighed in reply, hugging Esme as soon as I moved over.

"Aro said he wanted to see my potential." I explained, "So he used Carlisle to do it."

"That's kind of messed up." Emmett frowned.

"But it worked." I replied, "I thought they were gonna hurt him, so I snapped and killed Demetri and Felix, but because Carlisle was there, I came back." I laughed a little, "I think Caius was scared of me."

"He would be foolish not to be at least a little wary." Carlisle added, looking over as well. He kept his arm around Esme, though. I was happy about that. She had to have been so upset when we had to leave.

"Where's Alice?" I asked, frowning a little as I didn't see her.

"She's quite upset with herself." Esme explained sadly, and I looked up at her.

"Why?" I murmured, "She knew it would work out, right? It was the one pushing us."

"It's complicated." She answered, "She knew it would work out, but watching you walk away with you not knowing it would work out bothered her more than she's admitted yet."

"She'll come around." Emmett assured me, "But Mikah and Jasper are out.." He trailed off, glancing behind me at Aidan, "Can we, uh.. Who's your friend here? Why's he still here? Is he expecting a tip or something for dropping you two off?" Esme looked to Aidan as well, clearly curious as well.

"Oh," I muttered, glancing back at him standing there, and Aidan gave Emmett an awkward smile and a small wave, "That's Aidan. He's.. Well, I'll let him tell you guys why he's here when we're all together, but he's a good guy."

"I'm a beacon." Aidan stated easily.

"I see." Emmett nodded slowly, clearly not understanding. I smiled, shaking my head at how funny it was.

I looked over as Mikah came running. Jasper directly behind him. I gathered that Mikah had just been out hunting with Jasper babysitting him, but I was glad he was here now.

The rest of the explanation could wait as Mikah literally hugged me off my feet. I laughed a little, hugging him in return. I hadn't even thought that he would miss me, as he had so many other things he needed to focus on, but in a way, I could understand.

I'd been a constant since he woke up. He was days old, and so far, he had yet to really find his footing in this life. I felt so bad that his first few days were so chaotic, but everything was now better than they'd ever been. In a way.

I looked up at him as he let me down onto my feet, watching as he crouched slowly to look at me easier. His smile was instantly contagious, and I was indescribably happy that I was able to put that smile there.

"You have no idea how relieved I am that you're back." He admitted with a small laugh.

"You can't get rid of me that easy." I replied quietly, "There's still so much stuff I gotta teach you."

It was as okay as it ever could be in this situation. Jack was gone. Aro wasn't an issue anymore. The path ahead was so wide open, I honestly didn't know what to do with myself.

That was my problem. I didn't know how to just be. I would have to learn how to be okay, and that was okay. I had time.

"I'm sorry." He finally murmured, looking down, "I wanted to do something, but the others.. They were saying to let you go, but-"

"They were right." I replied, and he looked back up, "They were keeping you safe, which I'm really grateful for. Please don't be sorry. I know it's still so weird, but maybe this will make it easier to trust them." He smiled a little, so I went on, "You're gonna be learning a lot from me, but everything I know, I learned from them. I knew they would take care of you."

He sighed and hugged me again, which I returned. I honestly couldn't believe how much easier it was to breathe, but in a way, it hurt. I'd gotten to this point in my life, but I'd also lost so much of myself to do it.

I knew we'd fill them in on the agreement a little later, but for right then, it was okay with me just to be okay to be home.

There was still one more person I needed to talk to, and it couldn't wait.

"I'll be right back." I muttered, turning toward the house.

"Where are you going?" Aidan asked, and I paused.

"I wanted to go talk to Alice." I replied easily, "I mean, you can come if you want, but-"

He hesitated for a second before he shook his head, "You.. Don't want to do that."

"Why?" I frowned.

"Yeah." Emmett muttered, "Why?"

"I only mean we should stick together." He assured us, "It would be safer if we all went together."

He was right. I didn't trust splitting up, but thankfully, nobody seemed to question it. We returned to the house as a group, and I took my detour upstairs. Listening to Carlisle's quiet explanation, introducing Aidan to the others, I knew I had some time to talk to Alice.

I needed to set everything back upright.

I found her right where I thought I was. Up the stairs, in her room. She sat quietly at the desk in the corner, her head turned, watching out the window. Even with her back to me, I could see how tired she was.

"You saw." I started quietly, "You knew it would be okay. I think that helped me in a way." She sat so still, making no acknowledgement for several seconds before she sighed heavily and turned to look at me.

"I am _so_ sorry, Leandra." She murmured, "You were.. _So_ brave to do what you did. It's hard to believe you're only nine."

"I had to." I mumbled in reply, slowly sitting on the end of the bed, "But I feel a lot older than I am."

"That never goes away." She smiled sadly, and I nodded a little. I actually didn't expect it to.

"How?" I asked quietly, "How did you see me?"

"I don't know." She sighed honestly, "But I can't anymore."

"Well," I sighed, "We have time to figure it out, at least. How far ahead did you see?"

"His decision." She nodded, "The one that brought you back here." I nodded a little, falling quiet. She studied me for a moment before she spoke again, "Leandra, you can't hide it anymore."

I glanced up.

"Hide what?"

"It's a sad fact that one of the first things we learn when we're turned is how to hide how we feel." She told me, and I looked back down.

"I'm not hiding anything." I lied quietly, and she tossed me a look. I sighed, "It's just hard sometimes. Feeling so tired, but being so strong."

"You seem to keep forgetting that I was there." She sighed as well, standing up to sit beside me. I looked over at her, "Leandra, being turned doesn't mean you're required to forget how to feel."

"I still feel." I replied easily, "All the time. I just think it's better to keep it to myself. I have nobody to blame but myself, so why should I dump everything on everyone else? I know one day all the sadness stuck in me will go away. I just have to hold on until then."

"Or.." She sighed, "It could get worse. That happens a lot, doesn't it? It's a pattern of yours to trust yourself to heal, while choosing to ignore how hurt you really are."

"Maybe." I shrugged a little.

"Your skin is flawless but your eyes tell a different story." She added, "Inside, that couldn't be further from the truth."

"I know." I admitted almost silently, "Trust me. I can't lie to myself, and I know you see it too. You all do, but it's mine. I'm not trying to hide anything. I just keep it in. It's part of who I am."

"Well," She murmured, "I'd be lying if I said I didn't expect that. For what it's worth, I think I'll always remember you as the frustratingly stubborn kid who refused to be saved."

"And that's okay." I replied, "Because I'm still that way. I came up here, because I know you feel bad for what you had to do, but I'm not mad at you."

"I know you aren't." She replied, "I just hated having to send you two off without you knowing that it would be okay."

"I figured it out, so don't worry about it." I said, "You did what you had to do to get the best ending. You really gotta teach me how to do that." She smiled.

I was glad she seemed to feel better. I was never the best at comforting anyone, but this time, it really did seem to work. I knew for now everything would be okay. I had so much to look forward to now, it would be impossible to not to, but I also couldn't deny the looming sense of nervousness I still felt. Carlisle was still concerned about what Aro's plan could have been. I'd have been lying if I said I didn't feel that too, but for right then, I could be okay.

I would be okay.

 **END**

 **A/N: I know this took awhile, but almost two straight days of traveling will do that to someone.**  
 **I got this out to you guys as soon as I could. I promise.**  
 **Anyhoo..**  
 **THANK YOU! To those that were kind enough to leave their reviews! You're AMAZINGLY awesome! THANK YOU! Seriously.**  
 **MERRY early CHRISTMAS! To those that celebrate it! I hope this was a good present for you guys! :D**  
 **I'm REALLY hoping to continue on with another story once things calm down for me. I have a hard time around the holidays, so I'm hoping that once the new year starts and once I get home, I can start focusing on this more. :) There's no way Leandra would ever let me forget about her.  
Until the next story, my friends! :D**


End file.
